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GILFORD, MARTY.

      “ Well y’know what they say – bein’ UNCOMFORTABLE is a form of challenging yourself … Or something. Screw dating, who has the time ! Or the money ? Or the commitment ! How d’you know you don’t relate, you could very well relate ! C’mon there must be something, anything, where y’know, you catch your hand driftin’ down there. Y’know ? ”

          ‘ uh, yeah — no. i’m— i’m pretty sure it’s just a sign that i don’t want to be having this conversation. nothing you say is going to make me suddenly want to have sex, and it kind of isn’t any of your business. so, uh — can we just move on ? please ? ’

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GILFORD, MARTY.

        Well it is if you’re not horny, but when you’re horny you don’t really think’about all that OTHER stuff y’know ? S’like when you’re wankin’ and you cum but the porn just keeps on going. Then y’feel kinda disgustin’ so you turn it off r e a l quick. It’s kinda like that. C’mon, you tellin’ me you never feel horny or nothin’ ? Your dick needs as much love as all the other parts of ya. I know you HATE yourself ��n all, but there’s gotta be somethin’ that gets the blood flowing. Alright, alright, just checking ! What, you gettin’ UNCOMFORTABLE or somethin’ ?

          ‘ well, i mean it’s not like — uh, y’know — yeah, i’m getting uncomfortable. i can just think of a lot of things i’d rather be doing than having sex, that’s all. it’s not like i’m particularly interested in DATING, either. i just — i dunno, i just don’t see why all that stuff is so important to other people. not that i think you’re wrong if you do think it’s important, i just don’t really relate. ’

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MCCRAE, LEAF.

          “ it’s always a bad time in sheffield. sorry kid, wouldn’t know about any book orders. give me a title and i’ll find it in the shelves. ”

          ‘ uh, yeah. i don’t— i don’t actually know —— uh, jimmy did, cause he — but he’s — y’know, it’s fine, forget about it. i, uh — it doesn’t matter. ’

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GILFORD, MARTY.

          “ Ya tellin’ me you’re not interested in havin’ sex ? GROSS ?! Sex is the single most greatest thing you’ll ever experience in your whole goddamned life. What’s wrong with you, kid ? Crippling anxiety, huh ? That affect your DICK or somethin’ – you got a crippled dick ? ”

          ‘ i dunno, just doesn’t seem all that appealing to me. like, why would i ever want to stick any body part into someone else ? how is that not gross ? and all the —— FLUIDS, and stuff — i don’t know, it just sounds disgusting — and awkward. i get, like, why other people might like it, i guess. like i get the concept, it’s supposed to feel good, or something. but i still don’t get why people are OBSESSED with it, i mean i don’t even like food that much but i think i’d rather eat a good hamburger — or read a good book — than have sex. those sound like more ENJOYABLE things. the list of things that are wrong with me is way too long, marty. ———— what ? my — no. — please stop. ’

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GILFORD, MARTY.

      “ Why the HELL not ? You’re seventeen. C’mon dude, don’t you, y’know, have urges? Sure, I get it, mysterious cool guy being all … mysterious ‘n cool. ALONE, like a loner ! That’s cool. ”

          ‘ urges ? uh — not really, i guess. i’m just not interested in —— that. and, if i’m being completely honest, it all just sounds kinda GROSS. “ mysterious cool guy ” — yeah, that’s definitely what i’m going for here, marty. i don’t have crippling anxiety, i’m just COOL. ’

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( @flcratus !! )

         ‘ i, uh — i just came in to— to pick up a book ? i ordered it a few weeks ago, if it’s a bad time i could— i could come back later, or something. ’

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GILFORD, MARTY.

     “ What ?! Why not ?! How OLD are you anyways ? Ain’t it ‘bout time you should be losin’ your virginity ? I get it though, you’re sweet on someone else. Who is she ? Or he ? Probably a he right ?”

          ‘ i’m SEVENTEEN, marty. and i don’t plan on losing my virginity any time soon, not that it matters. i’m not sweet on anyone, either. and even if i was, it’s not like i’d tell anyone. unless something happened, i guess. ’

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GILFORD, MARTY.

    “ I get it homie, you’re a classy man, don’t wanna expose all the DIRTY deets. But you can tell me. Losing your virginity deserves to be celebrated ! Wait, you did bang her right ? ”

          ‘ what ? ——— NO, marty. i didn’t bang her, that’s disgus—— like i said, she’s my friend. and i don’t like her like that, anyway. ’

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( @mrtglfrd !!! ) stranger things inspired sentence starter.

          ‘ nothing happened, marty. it’s called being FRIENDS. ’

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( @pippv !!! ) stranger things inspired sentence starter.

          ‘ i — i guess i’d rather just observe people than, y’know —— INTERACT with them, or whatever. ’

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ᴛᴀɢ ᴅᴜᴍᴘ ! ! !