pikachu-buttslut

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crossposting here bc this tactic needs to spread like wildfire

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God bless america

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The Onion continues to never miss

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the authors of this textbook were clearly high as a kite when they wrote this chapter

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This is Batman and the Joker coded

No I’m not attracted to you. Quit your evil putting your finger under my chin to make me look up at you. I know I’m your nemesis and all but we really need to set some boundaries when you’ve got me tied up like this.

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You think this is a joke? A JOKE? No, this is The native Finnish God of Love, Lempo. Demonic and monstrous, and capable of possessing people, driving them insane with love. Call him in with a right love spell and he’s more than happy to help you.

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I think Pope Leo XIV should establish dominance by inviting JD Vance to the Vatican and killing him

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inspired by a friend misspeaking

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“I got a fan letter from a young lady. It was a suicide note.

So I called her, and I said, “Hey, this is Jimmy Doohan. Scotty, from Star Trek.” I said, “I’m doing a convention in Indianapolis. I wanna see you there.”

I saw her – boy, I’m telling you, I couldn’t believe what I saw. It was definitely suicide. Somebody had to help her, somehow. And obviously she wasn’t going to the right people.

I said to her, “I’m doing a convention two weeks from now in St. Louis.” And two weeks from then, in somewhere else, you know? She also came to New York - she was able to afford to got to these places. That went on for two or three years, maybe eighteen times. And all I did was talk positive things to her.

And then all of the sudden – nothing. I didn’t hear anything. I had no idea what had happened to her because I never really saved her address.

Eight years later, I get a letter saying, “I do want to thank you so much for what you did for me, because I just got my Master’s degree in electronic engineering.”

That’s…to me, the best thing I’ve ever done in my life.“

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this too shall pass but like… when

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there should be more options than suffering via employment and suffering via unemployment

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Ok but this would be such a great premise for a comedy movie.

Where they actually just hire SOME GUY to do some niche, but weirdly important job and hijinks ensue.

I think it should be illegal to put up job applications without any intention to actually hire someone to do that job. Like there should be a law that if you're putting up a posting about a job opening, you're legally required to hire somebody into the job within a year. And I know they'd just circumvent this rule by removing and re-making the same damn one over and over again, but at least it'd waste their time right back.

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any of you ever stand with your hands kinda touching together sorta like this

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People whose first exposure to international politics was the Palestine conflict everytime they see another international conflict:

Hmmmh getting strong Israel and Palestine vibes from this

okay maybe a reach but not every act of indian militarism is emulating israel. ofc it's useful to see how hindutva and zionism are related and inform each other but atp it's just lazy to say that modi is encouraged by netanyahu's impunity, he's been doing this for ages without israel's help. I don't think force fitting israel and palestine into india and pakistan is helpful either. pakistan can retaliate! they're a nuclear armed state that's committed genocide in living memory! this kind of complex just feeds into pakistani nationalism when it's not a solution it's just the accompaniment to indian nationalism. any analysis of indo-pak tensions that doesn't focus on kashmir as its own thing first and foremost is bound to be useless and isn't the full picture

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She then learns that she was a realitywarper this whole time and begins changing reality

doctor: let me tell you a secret. all those hormones i've been prescribing you? placebos. you always had the power to grow breasts. you just needed to believe in yourself

beautiful woman: oh my god.....