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why does literally no one talk about hozier being a flat earther lmao

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Only good tiktoker is that cat w the big wide head that sits with its elbow up on the table with a stern grouchy expression and a drink

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I still dream of one day coming home and finding him standing there waiting for me

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I still dream of one day coming home and finding him standing there waiting for me

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Old dude came in the shop and when I said "lemme know if you have any questions" he goes "what was the name of Alexander the Great's horse," thinking he was so funny. I told him Bucephalus, and he was so disappointed. Like his whole day was hanging on beating me at trivia. He says "you're only the second person who knew that" and I said "well, probably the third if you count Alexander the Great." He left without buying anything, and did not say goodbye. I think I honestly hurt his weird little feelings! Sorry I'm a bitch, old man!

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yes i know i’m a hypocrite because i use apple and google products and they’re spying on me completely anyways but there’s something about alexa that viscerally disgusts me and feels like a bridge too far

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I’m the guy who puts hidden Jesuses in foods for southern Christians to find

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heard that the queen is spending some time upstate on this big farm with other queens, where she's got lots of room to run around and play

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i put too much effort into these

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If you ever find yourself annoyingly horny in the middle of the night just go on literally any dating app and it’ll dry you up REAL quick. Like putting one of those silica gel packets in your hoohoo.

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@pinkfloydechoes1971mp3download

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I'm weird as shit but at least I'm not mean

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Hot people on tumblr are even scarier than normal people because you know something has to be wrong with them

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It’s always “why did you get in the river” and “your soaking wet” and never How was the river The river looked fun was it fun