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[pinkskullbby]

it is my birthday today :(

insert sad confetti here

[pinkskullbby]

150.6 today!!! i am feeling really hopeful about being at least 150 if not into the 140s by tomorrow morning!!!

HEALTH UPDATE, yesterday i had a couple of doctors appointments because of some GI related issues i’ve been having, and they were trying to get me to go into a treatment center but i said no lol. they’re concerned with my gallbladder and that i might have an ulcer, along with the p*thing and stuff it’s just not a good mix. i have to have two scopes next week to see if i have to have my gallbladder removed TT but yea.

[pinkskullbby]

okay so i didn’t have time to weigh in before work this am and i got my period so if i step on the scale tomorrow and i have “gained” a few pounds i will legit lose my fucking mind LOL. but i am grateful that my period came at all because i (and all of my doctors) was/were convinced i was pregnant. SO AT LEAST THERE’S THAT? whatever TT

[pinkskullbby]

weighed in at 151.6!!! guys i am so close to the 140s. i will actually go fucking crazy if i’m under 150 for my birthday. i will be so happy. i like want to cry even thinking about it.

[pinkskullbby]

ALSO BIG NEWS!!! i am under my LW from my biggest relapse!!! im currently 152.8lb (which i know, still not great but ill fucking take it) and my birthday is on friday, so im gonna try to get down to 150 even for it!!! :D

[pinkskullbby]

my ex has been targeting me on social media like fucking crazy and it’s driving me up the wall, i might remove him on everything just to have peace of mind again but i don’t want to never see him again ): dilemmaaaa.

[pinkskullbby]

hey, sorry for not being active for a little bit. i’ve been in and out of the hospital w GI issues, i could have an ulcer or need my gallbladder removed LMFAO. but im gonna try to be more active despite that, sorry for not updating. i missed a bunch of follows and stuff so if i didn’t follow u back yet/we haven’t introduced yet plz interact!!!

[pinkskullbby]

my period is due in two days and im so drunk i might eat something when i get home. i haven’t decided yet but im kinda hungry. who knows if ill keep it down tho lol just wanted to be honest

[pinkskullbby]

GUYS i broke my plateau and made it back into the 150s !!! i haven’t been this small since i was 17 years old. im so proud of myself and more determined than ever. i can’t wait to make it back down to my lw and reach new ones <3 so motivated rn!!!

[pinkskullbby]

tonight i took a drive with my mom to the beach. we talked about the breakup and how it’s been effecting me, and obviously about the 3d stuff ):

it makes me sad sometimes because i know that she blames herself a lot for my 3d, but it’s not completely her fault and i just wish i could comfort her without having to stop what im doing. i know she’s worried and i don’t want her to worry, but i want to keep my routine going… idk.

she told me that she would give me ozempic if i would eat with her when we got inside from our drive, and i said yes. im going to p*rge afterwards, but im getting that shot. hopefully it speeds up this process and i wont look like a whale at the beach this summer. it’s a shot once a week, so i guess ill do it every monday for the next few weeks and see what happens.

[pinkskullbby]

was creeping on my ex’s socials and saw he followed a bunch of skinny blonde p0rn stars, so i guess that’s just more motivation to stay on track TT i hate myself so much

[pinkskullbby]

i have been stuck at 160 for like a week now. it’s actually driving me insane. how do i break this plateau without digesting/a metab day??? im so frustrated

[pinkskullbby]

my mother is offering to put me on ozempic (or the wegovy one she uses them interchangeably so i am not sure) ??? i have no idea how she’s gonna manage to get a prescription for it to give me because there’s no way a doctor is going to prescribe that to me LOL but yea. i’ll probably end up doing it, i don’t really see why not.

[pinkskullbby]

i miss my ex boyfriend, but i miss the idealized version of him i had in my head. he was the best boyfriend/partner i’ve ever had, but he still wasn’t all that great. i just feel abandoned, i feel used, i feel gross. all i want is to crawl into his arms but there’s no way ill ever look at him again after i broke down in front of him. his little brother texted me telling me that he was gonna miss me a lot and that broke my heart all over again. the entire situation is just so suspicious and weird and i am so tired of being played by men. i am so sick of being treated like a toy when i am a human being with feelings. i miss him so much. i really thought i was going to marry him, everyone in my family did… we didn’t even date that long but regardless, i think he’ll always be my “one that got away” :(

[pinkskullbby]

honestly, thanku to my ex for completely shattering my heart and ruining my perception of love. i dropped 7lbs in a week and am officially done with 3ating, LOL. fucking scorpio

[pinkskullbby]

i miss the 4n4/m14 group chat i had on kik when i was younger. do people still do group chats??? i feel like i cant even find mutuals now. i just miss the community i guess.

[pinkskullbby]

𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖗𝖙 𝖔𝖋 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖒𝖔𝖓𝖙𝖍 𝖘𝖙𝖆𝖙𝖘 𝖓’ 𝖌𝖔𝖖𝖑𝖘

༺♡༻ february ༺♡༻

𝖛𝖊𝖓𝖙 happy february, the month i always look the most forward to but this year i am dreading more than anything in the world. this is the first time ive been single for valentine’s day & my birthday in 6 years and i’m not coping well. feeling worthless :p

𝖏𝖆𝖓𝖚𝖆𝖗𝖞 𝖎𝖓 𝖗𝖊𝖛𝖎𝖊𝖜 i was really good about staying under my calorie limit, p*rg*ng, and being active every day. with all of the fasting i threw in there and the break up, i did pretty well in january and lost 19lbs!!! please pray for me that i can lose 20lbs this month, and that ill be decent looking for my birthday :( i know i wont be small but smaller than right now is preferred.

𝖑𝖆𝖘𝖙 𝖒𝖔𝖓𝖙𝖍’𝖘 𝖘𝖜 179

��𝖍𝖎𝖘 𝖒𝖔𝖓𝖙𝖍’𝖘 𝖘𝖜 160

𝖌𝖔𝖆𝖑 150

𝖈𝖆𝖑 𝖑𝖎𝖒𝖎𝖙 500 (250 decrease)

𝖊𝖝𝖊𝖗𝖈𝖎𝖘𝖊 𝖕𝖑𝖆𝖓 dance/run for at least an hour daily, start a pilates routine!