piotrbezhukov-blog

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I dont know what to say. I’m at a ,’ , |,’_’ for words

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Q : With Britain leaving the EU soon, how much space will be freed up?

A: 1 GB

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im literally not exaggerating when i tell you guys this video saved my life

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If you would report an undocumented immigrant to ICE you would have reported me to the Nazis and I don’t fucking trust you

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Some facts:

1) Black Americans created jazz. 2) Jewish Americans created comic books. 3) These things are said to be the only original American art forms.

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Hey look at the title for my school’s tube ensemble, where there are 9 tubas.

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heads up before you spend $$ on pillowfort, especially note the paypal thing. the io domain concern does not seem carefully enforced but is in the TOS so 🤷

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For everyone’s information:

The plan for the 17th, when the adult content ban comes in, is to protest.

To do that, we are making as much noise either side of the 17th as possible, and using the site as normal.

On the 17th, dead silence.

People are saying log off but what they really mean is don’t open the site or the app.

But, on the 17th make as much noise as possible on every other platform. Tweet about it and post on facebook and instagram and everywhere else.

What this does is causes a massive dip in ad revenue for one single day. That does not make staff think ‘oh everyone’s gone let’s shut down.’ What it actually makes them think is 'oh shit people aren’t happy and if people don’t keep using our site we’re out of money and out of jobs.’

A boycott reminds a company that the users (consumers) have the power to make their site (business) worthless with one single coordinated decision.

If you want to join in, here’s what to do:

Do:

Close all open instances of the app and site on all your devices before the 17th

Make posts before and after the 17th on tumblr and other platforms, talking about why this ban is bad

Make posts on other sites during the 17th. Flood the official tumblr staff twitter and facebook with your anger and your opinion

Come back on the 18th and check in

Don’t:

Delete the app from your phone (this doesn’t affect their revenue and since it’s off the store at the moment it’ll be hard to get back)

Delete your account. I mean you can if you want to, but if you keep your account and don’t use it you’re saying to staff that there’s still time to save it. If you delete it’s hard work to come back.

Open the app or website (including specific blogs)

Make any posts (turn down/off your queue and make sure nothing is scheduled)

Go quiet elsewhere. Make it clear that this is just about tumblr, not a mass move away from all social media.

Remember: the execs don’t care about anything but money. Shutting down the site means there’s $0 further income from it. That’s their last possible course of action. If we make it clear we’re not happy, they’ll have to do something or we can do more and more until it becomes too expensive.

Protests take commitment. They’re a defiant action against a business that is doing something wrong. They will try to scare you into not participating, because they’re scared. We hold all the power here, sometimes the execs just need to be reminded of that.

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How to make your instrument seem larger: stand next to a bunch of people playing on tiny ones.

Also works on dicks.

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to all my spanish speaking followers:  hola

to all my non-spanish speaking followers who feel left out:  don’t worry, I just said “hello”.  maybe someday you too can grasp another language

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We don’t appreciate Megan Amram’s brilliance enough.

THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY BABY'S GENDER REVEAL PARTY!

Thank you for coming to my baby’s gender reveal party! I can’t wait to share the precious moment when I find out whether this bundle of joy I’m carrying is a little ballerina or a little truck driver. I am just so excited to talk about my future child’s genitalia with 30 of my closest friends and acquaintances! You know me and my hubs Andy. We’re obsessed with being extra and we’re never going to settle for just an ordinary gender reveal party. We’ve had a cake prepared that’s either pink or blue, based on whether our child is a Little Man or a Little Miss. First, I will cut into the cake and show a slice. If it’s a Boy, the cake will be blue, because blue is Boy! Blue is color of Boy things, like the sky, which is where the Air Force lives. Pink is color of girl, because girl things like flowers and laundry mistake. We’re not stopping there. After the cake, Andy is going to use a crossbow to shoot 12 wild rabbits that he bought at a store where you get food for large snakes. Each guest will then take one of the dying rabbits into her hands and look under the tail. If the dead rabbit is (was) a girl, our baby will be a little fashionista. If the rabbit has a little penis? Our lovebug will grow up to be a doctor or other type of Man! This is a party for adults, so feel free to get a little naughty. There’s nothing that makes me feel like making fun dirty jokes then thinking about my unborn child’s Boy or Girl pubic mound! We’re going to play a twist on “pin the tail on the donkey,” and you’ll either stick penises or vaginas on a picture of my ultrasound. We’ll be using glue that’s made from either Boy or Girl racehorses. This grown-up game will be made even more fun by the fact that we will be eating gourmet ice cream cones that are either flavored like Boy (scotch with a fun spicy touch of hot sauce) or Girl (nothing). Can’t wait to meet our Little Heartbreaker or our Little Slut! I never knew this before getting preggo, but there are a lot of rules for Girl or Boy! There are many things that are Boy. Boy is Blue, dog, numbers, fireman (even though fireman Red, it is Boy), hair (coarse), shape of ball like soccer ball, bricks, glass, buildings, car, sharp. Girl is Pink, cat, hair (soft), shape of square like purse, skin, boat, dry. I know it’s a lot to remember but look, I don’t make the rules! (The person that make the rules is Boy.) Andy and I love our traditional gender roles. He makes the money and cuts down the trees because Boy, and I am House for baby. Andy loves to make me eat vitamins so the House will be nice for Baby. Each vitamin is like a gift I give my baby’s House! I can’t wait to see what job my baby have. If Boy, maybe Racecar Scientist, Ambulance Lifter, or Priest Batman. If Girl, only job option is House or Lesbian. Even I don’t know what our baby is! When ultrasound technician which was weirdly Girl told Andy what gender our baby was, I told him I didn’t want to know. Andy was able to keep a stoic face when Girl Technician told him Boy or Other One! He was completely deadpan except for one tiny body language thing, where his mouth said “now our baby can’t be Blacksmith.” Andy is so good at keeping surprises! I hope our little bundle of joy looks just like him when grows up to be Ice Fisherman Man. Thank you all for sharing this day with us. I can’t wait to start this family with my sweet Andy. We will be the perfect Dad and House. But just remember: I will love my baby no matter what, whether it decides to be Lumberjack Surgeon or just normal Umbrella Girl On Salt Container. In the end, it does not matter! Whether Boy or Girl, my baby can do anything, like wear a pant or do computer. After all, Boy or Girl, my baby still White.

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more handy Queen anecdotes if you ever think they’re a serious band in any way:

1) roger locking himself in a cupboard to get his song as the b-side of bohemian rhapsody 

2) freddie throwing a brick through their managers window because he walked off and left him at a restaurant alone #not glam 

3) them all getting stuck in a lift because they started jumping up and down having just heard they got their first number 1 single 

4) freddie calling his manager to get him out of michael jackson’s house immediately because michael kept bringing his llama into the recording stupid and it freaked him the fuck out and this is genuinely why freddie wasn’t on thriller

5) john coming up with the under pressure bassline then going out for pizza and forgetting it 

6) freddie calling sid vicious simon ferocious 

7) the new orleans jazz party which no one can actually remember  

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i'm gay and my glasses are dirty

reblog if you’re gay and your glasses are dirty

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Berlioz pls

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Y'all need to stop saying shit like “songs with the same bpm”

Beats per minute is a unit. The word you’re looking for is tempo.

If two songs have the same tempo, their bpm are equivalent.

You wouldn’t say two people of the same height have “the same inches.” You would say height. So stop saying two songs have “the same bpm” when you can just say tempo

I’m an assistant band director don’t argue with me

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wolfgang amadeus mozart has been dead for 226 slutty, slutty years