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the firestarters don't hate books or intellectualism or whatever they just snapped after hearing the phrase "gifted kid burnout" one too many times

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many thoughts about vfd + the value they place on education + the sorry states of the formal educations of most people involved + kit and lemony being dropouts vs esme, renowned firestarter and mfa holder

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kit snicket exhausted older sister complex to teenage reckless rebellion pipeline to adult who doesn’t know when to stop

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I am going to take a few minutes to unpack some of the nonsense that is the beginning and (the very end) of TUA

1. Fucking Daniel Handler bothered to copyright the introduction AS HIMSELF while the rest of the text is copyrighted by Lemony Snicket. I am continuously amazed by this man’s commitment to this nonsense. (And my commitment to this nonsense to have looked at the copyright information.) (Also the legal disclaimer is absurd. this book was only allegedly published in the United States. Send help at once.)

2. The introduction is barely written by Daniel Handler. Most of it consists of a letter from the publishers (I never remember this after I am done reading TUA, it’s an odd and slippery piece of information) telling Mr. Handler about the contents of this book. This goes back to something I’ve noticed in the letters to the Editor: despite being Mr. Snicket’s representative in “legal, literary, and social matters” the books do not seem to be passed from Mr. Snicket to Mr. Handler–they are passed from Mr. Snicket (with the help of his nebulous network of associates) to the editor/publishing company. Mr. Handler’s representation serves a different and unclear function than one might initially assume; he is not the primary conduit of information between Mr. Snicket and the publishing house. 

3. Who the fuck in the doorman keeping this “dairy”? On the one hand, he is dressed to match the description the disguise kit doorman and the is using what may be a coded phrase to begin his diary entries so it is not too much of a leap to assume he is part of VFD or even Mr. Snicket himself. On the other hand, he could just be bad at spelling (as someone who was never diagnosed but is almost definitely dyslexic, the dairy/diary thing makes my head hurt) and his coat could just be evidence of the accuracy of the VFD disguise kit. 

4. So then a woman (who is not familiar with the VFD insignia and therefore must not be a member, but is acquainted with VFD members (we could get into the thing where since she knows VFD members and is assisting with their plots, she is now a VFD member despite not knowing about it, but that is too much)) gives the doorman the documents that comprise the rest of the book after a man not of her acquaintance told her a story about a woman who may or may not have been his aunt–if she existed at all, read the entire series of gathered documents aloud, and handed her the packet of papers with no further instruction?

4a. Even though it is muddled by the break in the action of one of the recounter (presumably Mr. Handler while he is transcribing the letter from the publisher) deciding to have a glass of brandy, I think the conclusion on page 193 is the woman giving the doorman the packet. (Which is what really makes me think that the doorman is Mr Snicket and that is when he added the annotations.)

5. I think this is the most telling of what VFD actually is. It’s fragmentary plots held together with chewing gum and a prayer by people who meet on a semi-regular basis to share food. Which is somehow not entirely at odds with training children from a young age to take fantastical and fanatical risks in the service of a poorly defined greater good. 

Further note: looking at the text, all of the notes in the margins appear to be from Mr. Snicket. The handwriting is markedly consistent. 

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in the script stage directions TPP count olaf is described as looking ‘eerily similar’ to jacques snicket while hes disguised as him and i think we can all agree they didnt Quite make that but theres a whole script thing about how he got a smart tuxedo etc and J doesnt even wear a suit ever he’s all a black poloneck style spy character. what J does do very obviously is gad about like james bond and bond is where the tuxedo archetype comes from so whats interesting is that in disguising himself as jacques olaf doesnt actually make himself look the same but instead invokes as many bond tropes as possible, both in style and manner, so that his spirit presence is the same and maybe that truly is eeriest/funniest decision after all

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who is vfd to stand between a 17 year old going through incredibly a lot and a bottle of hair bleach, really. who are any of us to do so

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jacques and kit, age four, conferring on what they should name their baby brother. coming to a decision and approaching the adults of vfd. we have decided that his name shall be lemony. becuase his hair is yellow. like lemons. but he is NOT a lemon. just lemon-y

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having such a weekend guys. learned how to use a film projector splice film strips together use an editing table etc etc. i love you archives i love you media preservation

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Lemony Snicket, 13 years old: So there I was- *looks up from under hat like a noir detective* smoking my prop cigarette from Spirit Halloween,

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Lemony Snicket most doomed by the narrative pre-teen boy to ever have a bowl cut

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Lemony Snicket most doomed by the narrative pre-teen boy to ever have a bowl cut

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thinking about olaf and "camp is first of all a second childhood." thinking about olaf and "camp is embarrassment without cowardice." thinking about olaf and "camp is a disguise that fails."

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GHOST CONFERENCE DAY

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Mein Gott….

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is this anything