pit8695-blog

[pit8695-blog]

Golden

the movie ended without an ending...but i am still here from the start. 

this scene is familiar.   born a loser,  some things are different but mostly things are the same.  Ive seen these sights and heard the sounds of seventies but as i look at the reflection i see the lights of tomorrow.  

I want to fucking rage.   But i breathe peacefully.   win lose win lose.

I see you looking through my window...what do you see?  I cant figure it out, not sure what i see when i reflect.  

I come from a lie i think.   not out of hate  but i assume love.  how did it get this twisted, normal life is new....not familiar skin.  granted a wish but i fucked it up, born to lose but the hand i was dealt was full of poverty flush...a winners glow.

want the angel?  pay for her sins.    

watch this guy, he's about to jump...lucifers pool.    Cold as ice.   there are flowers everywhere but all he sees is silence.   

golden things keep the lights on.   true blessing...I love you

the sound of your scowl makes me want to knife your tongue.  what did you do to god?   inherited curses are pro choice.  right?  

Is this what crazy is?   Is this a chapter out of normal life?

there are colors everywhere in the land of black and white.  have some fucking guts son.    wake up.   time to change.   time to stay exactly the same.  I cut myself down the middle but i don’t bleed.  

crossroads that resemble figure eights.    stay the same   always change.

wake up with the moon.  spit on the sun.  

golden things.  no scars.  

thank you.   that text woke me up.   I love you.   

[pit8695-blog]

God its been a minute since I have been here.  TBH not sure why I am here now.   Nothing against you Tumblr....I love you.  Sometimes you just need somewhere to write without a million people hitting you up trying to dissect your meaning.   Yeah Im talking about you FB and Twitter.  I’m not truly sure how Tumblr is supposed to work.   Do you have followers...etc?   If I do, I probably don't have many here so I can just write. Im so alright with that.  If you happen to read this, well then welcome.   

   There’s a girl.   One that has all my tools.   So I can’t fix things when I feel the need.  She likes me broke I think.   Theres a girl.    One that I never see when standing outside of her shadows.  But she is always there.  Always.  She always comes when its dark.  So I see her...but I never touch her.  She just leaves my mind and yes my heart full of ammunition and covet.  

 They both are sad and powerful.  They both have moments when they smile but it comes with a cost.   Both of them have what I need.  One has forgotten and one is forbidden.  Memories and Poison.   Both I love.  One more than the other.   But addicted to both for much different reasons. 

Theres a girl.  I used to know her.   Everything about her.  Now that girl is a ghost.  I see her, I do,  but I don’t recognize her.  

Theres a girl.   She has whats missing.  She's a ghost and is haunted by her demons.  But she steals what she needs from me when she needs it.  She just lets me taste the poison that I need only when she is close enough.  

Theres a guy.  I know him well.  Sometimes he is a ghost when he sees himself outside of his body, doing things I wish he wouldn't.  But tbh, there is nothing he wants more.  He won’t stop until he crashes.  The question is will he survive the crash?

...to be continued

[pit8695-blog]

2017 comes in in so many different ways for all of us. For some it offers hope, for some its an opportunity to build off your success in 2016. For some, its a lifeline to pick your self up and fight from a less than stellar 2016. Some come in birthing 2017 with struggle. Whether it be with life, love or the constant struggle to overcome or achieve more. I have been on all sides of these things. Every time I feel lifes struggle this song always picks me up. No matter how low it gets or how tough it becomes, you have to Swim. So whatever cards you are playing with at the beginning of 2017, make sure you keep grinding and moving forward. Don't get stuck in lifes ups and downs because we all will have them. I just wanted to share. "You gotta swim, swim for your life. Swim for the music that saves you when you're not so sure you'll survive."

[pit8695-blog]

its like jumping into an ocean when you can’t swim

but i just can’t resist the sting of the saltwater

gotta say no….gotta stop…gotta find a reason not too….but I don’t..

visions clear, mind sees that its not just me, still I can’t stop……

being a fool….still can’t stop ……gotta makes sense of this…but i don’t.

there is someone else wearing my skin…..he wants you…..

a civil war inside my body…..a perfect storm blows the walls down…..

in my heart…..

I don’t wanna be a liar, I don’t want to be a fool….

I don’t wanna be a secret , but this is something I can’t lose….

your everybody’s kiss……broken glass, bloodstained streets…

is where this will leave me….but I’m good with it…..I can’t stop

look around…wake up…Its not just for me…..I do realize…but I can’t stop

I wanna save you…I wanna touch you…I wanna …..i need too…..

I’m good…im gone……its best to not too….

Brain wins the battle of my heart…..then i close my eyes…..

and your there…..everything about you is perfect…everything…..I can’t stop

morning light……another breath…another day… I can’t be saved….

You can leave me in the dark…..

If thats all I get from you….

he can be the sun…..

I’ll be the moon….

[pit8695-blog]

To the mainstream this is boring. To people who want an actual movie that gives you the creeps without the ecstasy of Hollywood this is for you.

The silence is so loud. The woods are so violent. The disintegration of religion is so visible. Yet you see nothing.

This is a masterpiece of Horror.

Not gonna say anymore. Go watch this family decompose to the evil.

[pit8695-blog]

One minute your feeling it and before you know it seasons change.  Sometimes before you even realize it.  You lose control of your surroundings and just keep walking.  The people in your life change,  your values crash against the beach and you don’t even know it.  You just keep walking holding the devils hand.  

 Your blind to whats next to you.  You only see whats directly in your vision and you lose your way.  But you keep walking.  You've had a taste and now you want more.   Its bigger than any drug or substance you can fill into your bloodstream.  It was born from neglect that makes you fill your vision with the grip of the taste.  You just keep walking forward craving the Devils Candy.

One day you notice the chill and recognize the sting of summer is long gone.  Where have you been?  Who are you?  Now you look around you and its like your in a different city.   You still see familiar things but they seem almost invisible to your touch.   Its that beautiful pull that keeps tugging for you to keep walking.   Magnetic.  Determined.  It doesn’t feel completely right.   But you keep walking.   

  You tell yourself its just for a second, but then you notice you have been gone for months.   She happens quick.   He keeps telling you its ok, there is nothing wrong here.   My fathers words are in my ears.  He told me about this and helped me build my impenetrable kingdom.  But now that the walls are giving and I realize I am him.  Ive tried to walk on the stones he stumbled on.  

  Now Im here.   Its time to realize that the blues, greens, reds and purples are all a dream.   God your beautiful.  But you are a deceiver aren't you?  I still have my wits.  I don’t know my next step, but if feels good to write about it.  Either way, I will keep walking.  I just don’t know in what direction.  

[pit8695-blog]

I remember winning a huge gloss framed picture of this exact image of W.A.S.P at the Kenton County Fair of all places. Don't know what I did with it. Cool times man. Sometimes I wish I was a pack rat due to stuff like this.

[pit8695-blog]

What I am about to tell you I am not proud of, well maybe I am a little. Don’t judge me.     It was 1986.    I was 14 years old inside a Kmart with my mom.  At 14 it was all about Rock and Roll for me.  I wanted everything that ever made into a Metal Edge magazine.   I remember seeing an article about this new band called Poison.   At first glance, I thought, was this a joke???  I mean glam was just really making its mark and these guys were taking it too another level with the way they looked.  But.....they were in Metal Edge.   So I wanted it.    Back to K-Mart with my mom.    

Whenever I went to the store with my mom the first place I would go would be either the magazine rack or the music department too just look at the cassettes.   I came from nothing so I was really never granted the luxury of having money and my mom who was at that time raising us by herself sure wasn’t gonna waste money on a rock band that looked like girls.   Hell lets be honest, I wasn’t gonna get a dime for any type of cassette tape.   So there was only one thing to do.   I stole Look What the Cat Dragged In that day at the Alexandria K-Mart.   I know, probably not my finest hour, but I had successfully got the LWTCDI cassette into my moms car and under the passenger seat until it was safe to later that evening dig it out without her knowing.   

Let me remind you that I have never heard a note from the record at the time of theft.   So when I finally got to listen to it I didn’t know what to think.  I mean I couldn’t get over the way they looked.   But then every time I listened I started to love this record.   Keep in mind, Poison was nothing more then, than another band on the scene.   I had this thing before they were.....Poison.   Pretty cool.

That lead us to today.   I am 43 years old.   I don’t steal anymore.  But I still love Poison.   Today, I binged listened to everything up to Native Tongue.  And the thought crossed my mind.  “ I’m halfway thru Flesh and Blood and have I heard a song that wasn’t a smash?   Every song had me moving in my shoes.  Every song was a hit.   Do you know how impressive that is?   No filler for 3 records????   EVERY SONG.   I love Blame it On You, Want Some,Need, Some, #1 Bad Boy, Play Dirty, Love on the Rocks, Good Love, Look But Cant Touch, Back to the Rocking Horse, I won’t forget you.....well, you get it. 

Its sad the bad rap Hair Metal gets.   The good hair metal holds up today.  Poison should of been a band that never went away.  They had the goods.  One of the most under rated ROCK AND ROLL Bands ever.   You just have to quit looking at the way they look and listen.