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yeah actually we removed the big bad wolf from the little red riding hood story because portraying violence against minors is really messed up. yeah. yeah also the wolf narrative was really predatory and had had some icky grooming vibes and a fable meant for literal children shouldn’t have implied p*do shit and grape so now little red riding hood goes into the woods and nothing happens and she goes to grandma’s house. don’t worry our kids will still stick to the path and know not to follow to wolves implicitly because we told them to and children should always do as their told. just like little red riding hood does now.

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The technical term for fingering being "digital penetration" is so cool actually. Welcome. to my cyber world........

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Land sighted off the starboard bow! It's... I think it's Mad At You Island, cap'n!

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ah... your secret technique... in normal circumstances, such a bullet would have no effect on me, but you certainly knew that, my rival... and so, cleverly, you accelerated it with a gun

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Would like to apologise to all my mutuals who ever dmed me and later became a victim of my terrible communication skills 🥀🥀

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So I’m on a trip with my robotics team and there’s only two “girls” (me, an enby, and a cis girl), so we get our own beds in our own room, but the guys are rooming four to a room, but there’s only two beds in each room. Which means that two guys are sleeping on the floor every night.

I’m not joking. They were literally arguing over who’s sleeping on the floor tonight (apparently they plan on rotating).

And I asked them “why don’t you just share a bed?” And they all gave me the same answer:

“No, that’s weird! That’d be gay!”

And I just looked at them and I decided to break the bad news to them

“If lying next to another guy makes you wanna suck dick, you already wanted to suck dick.”

I’ve never seen so many Straight Guys™️ enraged by a single sentence before

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A story to boost the morale of a broken country.

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Opinions?

I should have supreme authority over large swathes of western europe

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do you um. oh shoot. okay. here we go. um. do you want to be m.y friend.

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data really is beautiful

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just letting everyone know this post has been cooking for 7 years and it'll finally post in 2028

its so old that when i click edit the corners of the boxes are still sharp

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