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Online Dating Experience, Mistakes and Realizations

What do you do when you desperately want to have cold coffee to get through a deadline and the only blender in your house decided not to work? You dress well, grab a cab and go to Starbucks with your laptop. I am not usually fond of Starbucks but I heard there Matcha Tavana Ice is brilliant and boy, it definitely is!

Once I settled with my order, I started thinking how exactly will I compile my two years long online dating experience in one blog post! So many conversations with men, a few offline dates, countless discussions with friends who’ve been active users of dating applications and after two weeks of trying, thinking and writing, I am glad to share this article with you. Also, this is the last post from my Online Dating series and I hope you enjoyed all the articles as much as I did while writing them!

Why did I join a Dating Application?

Mein phele mein bhot moti thi, nakkara thi, mere se koi flirt nai karta tha and phir meri zindagi mein Tinder aaya and mujhe Validation mili!

I joined Tinder because I have some amazing friends and they were concerned that I won’t EVER get over my ex-boyfriend because instead of erasing him out of my memory I was blocking boys who tried to approach me. Two years after the break-up, forty-eight hours of convincing and I created a dating profile on Tinder. Anyway, to describe the journey I am going to contemplate on these two:

Mistakes

Realizations

Mistakes

1) Ignored instructions: I did not read the instructions where they tell you that you need swipe right someone that you like and directly synced Tinder with my Facebook.

What happened next will either leave you either in splits and or you will end up judging me every time someone says ‘Tinder’, 'right or left'.

I was randomly swiping right and left like a kid who was playing Road Rage for the first time and ten minutes later my phone started buzzing and did not stop. I did what any smart person would have done, I slept! The next day I got more messages, I replied to some, ignored some and continued swiping right and left. Three days later, I could not access Tinder and no, not because of excess matches but excess unmatches. I was so confused looking at so many so many messages, I decided not to reply to seventy-five out of seventy-seven messages and ignored the eighty-two matches. Yes, Tinder blocks you when you have a certain amount of unmatches. Am I the only girl in the world who has experienced that? I am pretty and I am sure the answer is yes!

2) Did not listen to I, me and myself:

After I was unblocked and realized that you don’t take left when a cake shop is on the right. I carefully observed my matches and unmatched the ones who were too cocky for my sensibilities. I did get a chance to speak to some intelligent and good looking boys but I lost them because the moment they asked me to meet, like a silly school girl I asked my ‘then’ best friend, should I? The equally silly best friend convinced me that I should at least wait for a MONTH before seeing them offline and I told the guys to wait. They waited and realized that this girl is like our government, too many promises but no results and well, the boys were exactly like the impatient citizens, they unmatched me!

Well, after four sweet, intelligent and good looking guys unmatched me, I knew I had to stop listening to her and meet the online dates offline

3) Justified my virginity:

Dating Applications are one place where you will be judged because you are a virgin. What? How? You are twenty-one being a virgin is not even practical!

And I am pretty sure most of them will judge a girl who on an arrange marriage discussion table will tell him that she is NOT A VIRGIN!

4) Spoke to too many guys at the same time: Sometimes you get lucky because instead of too many profiles like these and you get confused who should you meet first. And then you realize you are bad with time management.

Tip Alert: One guy at a time

5) Uploaded this photo:

This picture was clicked right after I performed at an event in college and was not really in a mood to get clicked and hence, this expression! But when I saw the picture, I absolutely loved it! But some guys had a different idea to it. They felt it was like a tease, depicted how naughty I can in bed or was my way of showing that I enjoy ‘licking’. But I still haven’t corrected that mistake because the photo is still there!

Realizations

1) Not everybody paid attention in grammar class- Because not everybody knows that a comma can make a lot of difference.

2) People lie about their height - One guy told me he was six feet but when I met him he was not beyond five feet and seven inches.

3) Too many broken hearts- I guess a lot of people join dating applications right after they break up. Are they trying find their ex or are they looking for people who can listen to their sob story and sob along? Trust my experience it’s the latter!

4) Everybody is scared of love- 20’s is a confusing place to be in. Most of us are sacred of a relationship because we’ve had our share of heartbreaks, we don’t want to get into a serious relationship but we don’t want to date either because what if we get serious? What if that serious relationship hampers our career growth? What if like us the other person doesn’t take it casually and is all serious thinking about a life together? We think too much!

5) But in our heads we sing this song twenty times!

6) Always choose a good restaurant for your date- Because people disappoint but food never disappoints! I once met a guy and he did not speak. When I say he did not, I really mean it but I was glad that we were at All American Diner and the food like always was Y-U-M-M-Y! And since then I always make it a point to select a good place to eat food.

7) Only two per cent people are okay revealing that they have a dating application in their phone. No, they aren't shy they afraid of getting judged. And no, those two per cent people are not two Rupees people!

8) One look at a guy’s photo and I can tell you if he has written something in the ‘about me’ section or not.

E-X-P-E-R-I-E-N-C-E!

9) Yeh duniyaa… yeh duniyaa badi gol hai- I saw my brother, four family friends and two guys I met at my cousin’s wedding on Tinder. And since then I believe in statistics nad the fact that everybody is on Tinder.

10) Truly Madly is like U/A version of shaadi.com because everybody there wanted to marry me. OkCupid is shady and that's the reason I left it within the first thirty minutes, yes it is that shady! Tinder says you can find friends, love and everything in between. Well, they are right, you do find all of it but mostly in between!

11) Looks matter- I hate to say this but yes, they do. How many times did you swipe right to a girl or boy who did not meet your standards of beauty or handsome?

12) I will be forever alone- I have always been very confident and no, I don't flip when I am with a guy. And you know what? That is my problem. I talk to all my dates like I talk to my friends. I laugh like a maniac and I clap my hands!

I mean how do you fake a laugh or laugh in a way that makes a guy go weak in his knees?

If I had to summarize the entire experience then I would say yes, it’s been amazing. Yes, I felt bad when a Pilot I met did not call me back. Yes, it was awkward when one of the guys did not speak anything. Yes, it was horrible when a guy objectified me. Yes, I almost fell in love with once. Yes, I made some cool friends. Yes, that Australian guy I met was really funny. Yes, the not so good-looking guy was and is the best date I have ever had.

Yes, I have been on a lot of dates. Yes, you can judge me. Yes, men unmatched me. Yes, meeting so many different people made me confident. Yes, I am happy that I tried something new!

#blogger #lifestyle blog #online dating #delhi blogger #indian blogger #tinder #bollywood #fashion blog #beauty blogger

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