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I know it’s stupid and delusional to think these feelings mean anything years later, but I still have so much love for you and wish I could be saying that to you every night still.
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When he died, all things soft and beautiful and bright would be buried with him.
- Song of Achilles
oh god. my heart can't break more.
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There’s nothing I’ve been more sure about than I am about you 😞
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I’m actually so fucking lonely and sad that I don’t know how long I can fake this energy of everything is ok
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Oh it’s BRUTAL
“Imagine how heartbreaking it must be to suddenly stop talking to the person you thought you’d marry.”
— Unknown
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“Do you ever just get waves of missing someone? Like you’ll be okay for awhile, then all of a sudden, your heart hurts.”
—
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“Love is never convenient. You don’t say I love you because it’s beneficial, you say it because you mean it.
Don’t say it because you want our relationship to be safe, because you don’t wanna barge in the four walls of this relationship, you don’t want a fight, you hate arguments and because you’d rather settle. Don’t hide the visible lines that could trace the downfall of this relationship. Let these lines penetrate into our hearts because these lines are what determines if we could make it. Don’t say it to convince me that everything is fine. I want you to regard the value of these three words your letting go of, I want you to know that this love is and should be the stronghold of our relationship and if it’s only said just so we could stay on the safe side, then I’d rather you not say it. If ever the time comes and it’s no longer convenient, when it will be outmost hard to utter “I love you”, I’ll understand. I’ll understand despite the fact that I still want you to say it. I’ll understand the reasons why you can’t say it and I’d rather accept that than hear you say it without its real substance. I want you to say it for no other reason but only because you mean it.
I want us to figure this relationship together. And if along the way you want to let go for a while so you could determine your next steps and your future plans; if there are things you need to settle outside us, then go. Do what you must. I will not force you to stay. I will not insist for your presence to remain by my side no matter how much I want you to. I will not give you an ultimatum either. I will not compel you to choose me. I will allow you to fly, as high as you can, as far as you can.
I want you to identify the things you want, the things you prioritize on your own. I want you to decide on your own. Not because I insist, not because I made you.
It doesn’t matter how many things can happen in the span of time we’re apart, those who love truly, trusts truly. I trust that if you love me, you’ll come back. Love is not a set of chains I have to put on you just so you’ll stay with me. Love is freedom and I opt to give you the freedom to fly without my chains binding you. I want to release you from me.
I want you to grow in all aspects of your life possible – in your career, passion and dreams. I believe that you’ll make it big, in time. I want you to discover yourself, learn new things, go out of your comfort zone, gather experiences and unearth the secrets of life. I want you to explore life and look for ways to fill every hole in your soul, I want these experiences to suffice the emptiness inside you, I want these glimpses of happiness mend all your broken parts that I can’t mend. I want you to achieve all the things you want for yourself. All the happiness in the world possible. I want to use these hands to give you what you need and face the sacrifices it require, because love is generous. I will endure the sorrow it includes. And if our love is real, it will endure as well. Parting is never easy, nothing is really easy when it comes to love, it’s something we both have to work hard for.
However, I will not wait for you. I will grow as well, figure out my life, my future. In the process, I’ll love you, still. I mean, can you really unlove someone? I don’t think so. You will still be here, forever marked upon my heart. If one day, we’ll see each other again and feel the same ignition, the same spark, the burning fire in our hearts that tells us we’re made for each other then let’s do it again, let’s risk it. Let’s gamble on it.
Let’s make it work, feed the love and allow it to blossom.
When you come back, I know you’re whole. I know that I’m not something to occupy your holes, but I am an addition to you, a beautiful soul. When you come back, I’ll be humble and accepting. I will lay down all our weaknesses and mistakes out in the open so we can begin with the healing. If we truly love each other, then there will be forgiveness. Love forgives. We will allow forgiveness to reign above our shortcomings, above our past. When you come back, I’ll love you entirely. I’ll love you more than the aches, the tragedies, the misunderstanding, the separate roads we took, more than all the hardships – I’ll love you, above all these, always. And as long as there are no valid reasons to let go, then I won’t. I’ll hold on for I am home.
I do believe that destiny has its way, if you are meant for me, you’ll be with me and I’ll be with you.
Because in the end when all is said and done, no matter how many times we went out of our way, how far our paths went, how many people we met, how many years it took, how many obstacles we undergone; no matter how many turns we made that produced great distance between us, even if we’re halfway around the globe… true love will prevail.
If they truly love you, they’ll always come back.”
- Dian Tinio
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