How To NOT Be Depressed.
(Or If You Prefer â How to Be Substantially Happy About Life.)Â
WARNING: This is one rollercoaster ride of a post. Proceed with extreme caution. For some, the staggering levels of insight may induce true purpose and re-establish their warrior spirit. For others, side effects may include grammatically incorrect hate or aloof eyerolls. We advise exiting if the said group includes you, for weâre very tired of cleaning vomit off the seats.
Step aboard at your own risk.
If youâre one of the brave souls who stayed back to join us, I congratulate you for even I am scared of how crazy this post truly is. Alrighty then, kick back and relax folks, today weâre having a mature, adult conversation. Merely another cheery afternoon spent talking about life and its realities. Not too bad, eh?
Before we begin, spoiler alert! For those of you already turned off by the mention of âdepressionâ and packing their bunnies to leave, sit tight. This ISNâT really about depression. This is about HAPPINESS. No clickbait. That got your attention, right butterfly? Nice, now stay.
A welcoming, maybe demanding A/N: Do me a favor and read this in one go. Maybe even plug in those headphones and listen to the songs dedicated to each part as you read. Itâs long, you have the new Riverdale episode to catch up on, but donât hop away just yet because (I had a couple moments writing this, alright) itâs life changing. Youâll prolly cry a few tears of realization, nod all nod-able body parts in agreement, beat your chest at random instants âcause the hypeâs too real, and perhaps, if it isnât too much to hope for, finally go change your life for the better. In case youâve forgotten, thisâll remind you that thereâs always hope, that youâre a born conqueror, and you were made to THRIVE, not survive. Convinced? Kay, roll the cams.
  To clarify first-hand, no, Iâm not depressed although Iâve experienced mild depression for a period before. Glad to say Iâm out of it but I still struggle with tackling what Iâm about to detail next.
Insert bitter voice, itâs this: My life is nowhere near I want it to be. Though I know vaguely what I wanna do, I havenât yet figured out how the hell Iâm supposed to get there, or how my dream life is to be sketched out. Itâs all a blurry mess. Which, to put it bluntly, hurts. I HATE feeling powerless and worthless, roaming about aimlessly.
There are many such moments where I hit the brakes to wonder why Iâm not living THE Life already. There have been several times when I curl up and cry a frickinâ Amazon. There are horrible nights where Iâm shaking with emotions, but they wonât release, leaving me choked. (âŚnot in that way, you hoes. Um, just ruined the dramatic mood with a lame dirty joke, sorry.)
  They say talking helps and thatâs why I figured Iâd drop in. But perhaps more importantly, I wanted to hang because no matter how unfocused the lens may seem at my future, I donât consider myself a dopey loser incapable of the crazy dreams or wild bucket lists I fantasize aboutâ and I thought Iâd skip along to remind you that neither should you. (Or maybe I just came to sniff the new appetizers, who knows?)
PS: I also broke a sweat listing six ways to get outta depressionâ alternatively, to be more of a conquerorâ because y'all are always pestering me with asks that go âhow do I conquer omg send suppliesâ (Like, imagine a conqueror saying that! Oh, the crime, the atrocity!)
So yes, youâre welcome. Have a feast with this litness. Â
The main reason behind people being so frightfully sad, Iâve found, is a huge lack of fulfillment. We donât do what we love, for eitherâ [ 1 ] we arenât living life the way we want to (since we keep doing things we feel weâre supposed to do) OR [ 2 ] because Mama, Papa and Mrs. Carter next door feel that struggling is the only way, and project their traditional beliefs onto us. Either way, whether or not we consciously realize this, subconsciously, weâre all hurting because of it. Badly.
That lingering feeling of emptiness never seems to leave. You feel drained every night when you drop into bed, not because you gave it your all, but because you couldnât. And so, we do the next best thing. Drugs. Maybe not literally, but figuratively. We numb out this subconscious pain by binge watching Netflix shows. We deaden ourselves to that discomfort by reading smut in the bathroom or by playing dumb video games all day. We try (and fail) to extinguish this feeling of not âbeing enoughâ by having silly flings or fake friendships.
And ultimately, we NUMB ourselves out to LIFE for we canât bear to live the way weâre living. Thereâs a reason why âHow to Stop Procrastinatingâ posts are so popular (theyâre a bloggerâs most foolproof way of paying the monthâs rent, and yes, even Iâm guilty of a couple). Weâre constantly having FOMO and tuning into othersâ highlights on social mediaâ completely missing out on our own lives in the process. We fail to realize that the culprit is lack of genuine purpose more than zero self-control (or maybe itâs both, but thatâs a tale for another day).
[On a side note, obviously I did generalize a bitâ video games can be a passion for you, watching shows a way of winding down. But for most, theyâre only DISTRACTIONS, just another way of ignoring the calls of life by hanging up the phone.]
  And hereâs the bitter truth about depression: The longer you wait to start living authentically, the more you start tuning out the inner cries wanting change, the faster your dreams start to ebb away, and the more youâll want to become insignificant. And to me, thatâs the scariest part of this journey to my dream life.
Nothing frightens me more than knowing that the moment I stop pushing, the very moment I give in to distractions and fears, my goals will stop manifesting themselves and Iâll be stuck in this small town with its small people eternally. And THAT, Iâm certain, wonât be any more fun than working your way through a soggy ham sandwich, ironic as soggy is what life has become. (Yes, I have a thing against soggy sandwiches. They were a kidâs worst lunch nightmare.)
  If you relate, and Iâm sure you do (itâs probably why you stopped scrolling through cheesy fanfic for ten minutes to read this, I know you amigo) â here are six ways to NOT be depressed. Or more accurately, to gift wrap yourself some sweet olâ happiness.
Youâre a Samurai and the Following Be Your Katanas â
Holâ up. The second you reach the End Card, I want you to drop your Cheerios and implement at least THREE of these six strategies. Just follow the Takeaways, Iâve made this really simple. And as a rule, one of them has to be this one. (Look, donât whine. If you wanna climb outta that dark hole, you gotta put in some effort. So pop that booty, and letâs get down to business!)
Hereâs the most truthful, though cheesy thing Iâll ever say: I would be nowhere I am today without this blog. If not for it, I would most likely be weeping in a dug-out hole somewhere, drowning in my salty little pond of tears and chiming every loserâs favorite words (âthereâs no pointâ). Creating this blog gave me a definite purpose â putting out fiery content, dipping myself deep into my newly found passion for writing and influencing, and connecting with other conquerors on the platform. Â
I meet a lot of folks, whether at Sad School, Mouldy Mall, or Boring Bus stop, who always seem to be in a state of death-inducing boredom. When asked about their favorite thing to do, theyâll mumble âsleepâ or âfoodâ like Siri narrating your catâs evening routine. And then you see adults, dragging through life mindlessly. Utterly clueless, floating like a piece of driftwood in an ocean bubbling with life. My sympathy quota gets overdosed everytime I think about it.
  To spell it out, find something to do. Anything! Learn a language, try some ballet, take pictures of your neighborâs rose garden, make an art piece and show it to your mom, stitch buttons onto shirts for fun, heck, make an entire shirt out of buttons, take a break from reading smut to write your own, frutify your farts, WHATEVER, just get up and move.
And hereâs why â nay, not to keep you engaged or make you feel less worthless, not that bullcrap. Itâs to put in gear the journey of figuring out what is the shite that you love doing. Too often we get stuck thinking about what our oh-so-great passion is. Get this, passion is energy. A spark for something. A magical fortune cookie which, when cracked, seems to explain everything, gives you the very reason for being alive. You can only feel that fire, that wild love, when you actually do it. So get cracking is all Iâll say!
Takeaway:
Attempt something. Nah, scratch that, imagine youâre in a sweet shop with shelves lined with free samples and try everything. Pick up that Polaroid cam, take that dreaded history course, buy that childrenâs cooking kitâ in short, start working. Pull out all the stops, get curious, and get creative. In the process, if you promise to try hard enough, you WILL (money back guarantee) find out what makes your little heart burst with mad happiness and would willingly do for free, if needed, because you really are that crazy about it. And that, my dear, will be your oh-so-great-indeed passion. Have no doubt, youâll never be âboredâ again.
Real talk, having a dream is a big deal. And unfortunately, Iâve witnessed, rarely anyone has one to begin with. Theyâre either more dead than the cheap skeleton I bought for Halloween or believe they have a dream, but in reality, it belongs to mom, dad, or Uncle Sammy. Listen, doing something for someone you love (my Uncle Sammy used to supply me with cold cash whenever he came around, loved that guy) is great! YET, if youâre willing to throw away your life to fulfill othersâ expectations, convincing yourself it���s because they love you, even when YOUR lonely heart craves bigger things than just a marketing job, then you, my friend? Are the biggest fool. Donât get offended, we both know it, this girl neednât ramble.
Recently, my relatives were over (nope, sadly not Uncle Sammy) and my cousin and I had a chat about life (correct, I grab every opportunity to do so). It wasnât very exciting I must say, he kept staring off into the distance (I wonder why), but what he SAID is what Iâll talk about. After Iâd gushed about my dreams, he asked skeptically if being an influencer would still be an ambition two years from now when I graduate. I raised my eyebrows, mock hurt, like eff you son, I ainât giving up on my dreams! But that question got me thinking.
Life is wild. Unpredictable. An unexpected call, a single person, a random BLOG POST (cough) â can turn your life upside down, sometimes in the affirmative, other times not. This variability of life isnât uncommon, and everyone experiences some part of itâ unpaid student loans, failing startups, talent and art going unnoticed in industries dominated by wealth and connections, you name it. If all of that doesnât make you run for the Himalayas and abandon any dreams, throw in a quick side dish of dysfunctionale famiglia with a sprinkle of self-image issues.
It ainât easy, darling. The world is one cruel headmistress; it loves slapping awake the daydreamers and wishful thinkers. That hasnât ever actually stopped the dropouts and class clowns from building castles in the air though. And the common blueprint you notice they follow? Let me introduce you to⌠ Madness. Obsession. Maniacal obsession, to say. (Yes, Iâm done playing with my words.)
  I struggled writing this point. A pestering voice in my head kept mumbling â Theyâll go back to doing the same sad shit anyway. Um, does anyone even read your posts? Lol, call yourself an influencer, hun. Hesitation started creeping in. Then the irony of the situation struck me. I laughed, shook my head and got back to typing.
We ran out of juicy gossip weeks ago, so hereâs your tea served cold: insecurities and self doubt WILL get in the way. That whiny voice was just a mild version of what you face when you go all in. Fear traps you in its cage, and those who prattled behind your back now progress to talking shit in your face. Criticism and self doubt resurfaces, so unless your defenses are strong, youâll be crushed. Destroyed REAL quick.
When hell breaks loose (oh honey, and it WILL), your self defense comprising of maniacal obsession must be well learnt. Let them attack, mock, heck, drag you away from the desk and hurl you at the top of a damn mountain, but you better STILL hike back down, show them the middle finger, and continue working. Thatâs how bulletproof youâve gotta be. Thatâs how madly do you have to love your dreams. And if you really think this will be a cake walk or want to continue complaining about Stuart being born with a silver spoon, hop off the train already. Your destination isnât on the tour list.
Look, my dreams terrify me. But they certainly make me feel more alive than complying with what every parent said about getting good grades and holding together a roof on my head. My ambitions set me free, give me a reason to fucking live. And yet, every now and then, something makes me question them. A fear engulfs me, some doubter proclaims I suck, someone I love is so blinded they canât see my vision. And thatâs okay. My defenses are way stronger. The next day rolls round, and youâll find me hustling again, thriving again. All because I know that even if no one reads my posts (the worst case scenario, I know y'all love me lol), someday in the future, someone will. I know that even if Iâm not an influencer yet, if just one reader becomes a conqueror because of my words, it would be a win. A big win. Iâd have done my job. All because Iâm wildly, yes maniacally, obsessed with my dreams.
So hey, cousin? This influencer thing? This will be my dream long after Iâve graduated. Till the day I die, and maybe even then Iâll rise from my grave to give a dead pal a lively pep talk. My watchtower has just been upgraded, so thank u, next.
Takeaway:Â
âGeneral, weâve arrived!â Finally! Position those cannons, Martha, letâs talk them through the defenses. All aboard? AHOY MATEY! (wait, that was one for the pirates). Step one, dare to create a dream in your mindâs eye. The bigger, the crazier, and the scarier, the better. Doesnât matter how impossible it is, donât care how many voice their opinion against it, just imagine, keep a million possibilities in mind.
Once you see the life you truly want (youâll know, everything will seem to zing)â have a sip. Become OBSESSED for that life. Thirst after that vision, itch to manifest it, and pine for the satisfaction thatâll come to your soul once itâs made a reality. Fall madly in love with the process and how magical it feel when you do it. And THEN, bellow a loud war cry and charge headfirst into battle, shields held high at all the criticisms. We conquerors never cared much for them anyway.
(play âŹ) Picture this: forehead stamped with beads of sweat. Calloused hands working their fingers to the bone and eyebrows furrowed in deep concentration. Conjure an image where powerful beats are pulsing hard in your ears, synced with your own elevated heartbeats, and youâre thriving. Performing. Winning. Guess the secret to that? Preparation. Champions prepare. You canât throw anything to the winds or rely on âluckâ or chance to conquer.
Tough days are in everyoneâs calendar, be it your extra cheerful neighbor, Sally, or lone wolf classmate, Derrick. Weâve all found ourselves sulking over an awful situation, scooping into mint ice cream to forget mistakes, errands, and ghosting exes. Yet guess what? The solution isnât the proclaimed âbe positive!â or âIt all happens for a reason, donât you worryâ - the key is coming up with a method to dodge the discouraging effect these hiccups have on us. Â Â
So every bad day, I bring out a mason jar containing a knot of chits and one secret letter which is, on most days, kept hidden on the top shelf of my cupboard. I make myself comfortable on the bed, read all my bits of paper carefully, including the letter addressed to yours truly, close my eyes, and mentally fight back whateverâs bringing me down.
A short while later, I get up, now a warrior, and go slay the rest of the day like it was my last one on this planet. That jar is my jar. A Conquerorâs jar. One look at those powerful reminders, and Iâm grounded once again, the beast within me now unleashed to kill.
Takeaway:
Honey, go get yourself a jar. Along with some papyrus and ink. Then start jotting down. Document past victories, future visions, fears that mean zilch to the person youâre about to become, batty goals youâve still gotta chase, reminders that the majority will never understand what it is youâre tryna do here, and how thatâs perfectly alright 'cause youâll find your conquerors, your squad one day. Create your victory jar. And then go knock âem down dead. Bad days stand no chance against you. Youâre a winner, a fucking rebel. Go take whatâs yours.
Yâknow, Iâm perfectly aware that many muggles reading this will whine that dealing with depression ainât no piece oâ pie and itâs hella hard to get up and take the crown when you feel like a pile of dino dung.
Stop it. Get some help. (See what I did? Like Michael- ok ok, calm thyself.) For real though, and Iâm tired of repeating this with my kitten stamped microphone (but Iâll keep at it âcause itâs that significant) â whining is WORTHLESS. It saps up precious energy that could be used to make life a scrumptious smoothie. (Loothie? As in life + smoothie? Right, yes, Iâm shutting up.)
And even THEN, we find denizens complaining about slow WiFis and thin crust pizzas and how the marketâs down and the governmentâs incompetent. Because blabbering makes us feel important. Heard. But keeping yoâ trap shut and actually doing stuff? Hustling for your dreams when nobodyâs watching? Actually walking the talk? Câmon, Emma, donât be naive, ainât nobody getting recognition for that.
Trust me, I get it. The world is yet to become a feminist, turns out your boyfriend was cheating on you while you were looking up wedding dresses, mommyâs a drunk loser, and idiots are being voted into office. Itâs a lot to handle. But thanks to our immense and ever increasing population (we folks really love our rumpy pumpy, can you tell) â there will surely be one chum, facing exactly the same misfortunes as you, but still turning up at every party and bulk-spamming his friends with puppy pictures while you sit and wail. (One Moaning Myrtle is enough, thank you very much.)
Look, Iâm not undermining your worries or obstacles. Iâm only reminding that you have the marvelous choice of positivity. To CHOOSE hope and a better future when others wonât. To FIND (and itâs always possible) something to look forward to even when the to-doâs a big snore. To KNOW, deep inside, that youâre a magnificent conqueror, no matter what mess youâre in at the moment, and that the world dances to your rhythm. Realise that itâs up to you to let yourself be happy. At any moment, you have the very say-so to get up and start rocking. Dumbledore said it himself, âIt is our choices, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.â So choose better, and youâll unconsciously do better as well. And yes, that being said, this is the last HP reference, donât fret. Be positive instead. (Edit: Ha, look at these quips, the girlâs all grown up now.)
Takeaway:Â
Your new occupation is to be a sunflower. If you think back, youâll probably recall Miss Honey rattling on about phototropic movement in AP biology. No? Me neither. Point is, sunflowers always face the sun. Put them ANYWHERE, hide them in the dungeons, throw them in a trash bag and shoot it off to the moon, theyâll still turn around and face the sun. No matter what. And taking inspo from that, you too can stop scripting creative soliloquies for being depressed. Happiness is YOUR right, YOUR priority, donât let anyone take it away from you or diminish its importance. DONâT let sadness ruin your vibe, do what youâve gotta do to protect yourself. Track happiness in yoâ journal, set 84 reminders on your phone, and tattoo âLong as youâre beaming up at the sun, all the shadows will be left behindâ on your boobs. Do whatever, just donât turn the corners of your mouth down. Youâre so pretty this way.
The other day, I was doing the deathly PliĂŠ Alternative Heel Lifts (these names, I swear) and my legs felt dead. Gone. Put to sleep like the Wicked Witch of the East. Now obviously, the timer wasnât not even halfway done yet, but my cheeks were already flushing red like dear Santa, and NOT because I was high on choco chip cookies. I sighed, and at that point, I was so over giving up. All this while, Iâd been whining and protesting because my muscles felt sore, but in that moment, I made up my mind. I bit my lip and kept going. On and on. Keep pulsing, you got it, donât stop, was the mantra I kept chanting.
  Wonât sugarcoat it, I honestly hadnât died this much since that time Miss Honey buried me alive with trig assignments. My legs were now basically Play-doh and I was shaking, fighting for balance. A few seconds in though, something crazy happened. My legs went numb. My grumbling mind quietened and the pain vanished. That evening, I had the upper hand, not my physical perceptions of myself. I was powerful. Flawless. (Hey Santa, do you even lift bro?) Real talk, I was in the Zone, bitches.
Iâm not sure if that was the result of excessive pain or because Wonder Womanâs spirit possessed ma bod, but staying loyal to my love for metaphors, Iâll use the experience to explain what Iâm tryna get at here.
  Look, hereâs the real deal â if all of the greats gave up the second things got frowny, we probably would have no one to worship. Nix role models, nix inspirations, none to stalk on Insta - weâd all be bumbling about like Sad from the even sadder Emoji movie (no shade, emojis be lit).
And thatâd be very sad (pun definitely intended). Hence, cue some tangible ways to boosting your grit, so that you can be your own superhero:
1) Get yoâself a goddamn motto,
2) Know your âWhy,â
3) Repeat the cycle till itâs in your blood. Btw, Shawn, if you here, Iâm still a single pringlâHEY PAL I SEE YOU, DONâT SCROLL.
Seriously, donât brush these prime steps aside. Weâre always going for the advanced modes, and deeming these basic levels a waste of time. Well guess what, compadre, YOUR LIFE IS A GODDAMN WASTE Oâ TIME IF YOU DONâT HAVE YOUR BASICS RIGHT. Excuse my outburst, but listen. You canât do a hundred bicep curls on your first workout if you havenât lifted anything more than a crisps packet. Likewise, if you simply jump into Life one day, and decide âok, here it is, 12 habits to build, sleep schedule to fix, man to ask out, letâs go,â you ainât getting nowhere, chum. Start small. Take baby steps. Itâs clearly not as fun (definitely negates the bragging on Facebook part of it) but itâll stick. Youâll create a consistency that not even Grandmaâs cake batter can achieve.
1. Talking mottos â For context, a motto that I always mutter (my mom thinks Iâm cursing, oh what a bad child) every time I spill milk while making coffee is âDo more. Give more. BE more.â Not only does it help me stay right on track for the rest of the day but it helps me clean up my mess, figuratively and otherwise, or Iâd just be sitting in a puddle of spilt milk, cursing adulting for real this time and with more laundry to do.
2. Why you need the Big Why â Owning up, Iâm guilty of attempting to learn Welsh for less than 48 hours because I hadnât a single reason to speak the language. A similar thing happened with half of my 2018 resolutions, which had a bunch of rubbish like âFloss dailyâ, something my eyes got trained to skip because, um, who the hell flosses every day?
Lame humor aside, I still workout almost daily because I have my Why straight. 1) I want to feel good about my body and get closer to the confident badass I envision my future self to be, 2) I simply HAVE to sustain my health to live to build my legacy and fulfill my dreams of opening a bakery at 90 and 3) Because Iâm an influencer, and want to walk my talk and be the inspiration people need. Those are the reasons as to why I turn up to my yoga mat everyday, shut my jabbering mind, and keep on pulsing. This âWhyâ strategy applies to everything. Wanna get outta depression? Why? Wanna lose 20 pounds? Why? Wanna listen to your dentistâs desperate pleadings and floss already? WHY EH? Unless you know your intentions, youâll give up at the first chance you get to not act on your goals. And watch out, because thereâll be a LOT of those.
For me, leaving a legacy behind means more than having a slice of cake or missing a workout because thereâs a fun movie playing. Find whatâs important to YOU, make it your why, and go marry your goals.
3. And then, Repeat â Bear in mind, if youâre not living your best life yet, there are NO weekends. NO work-shy days. No weak days, no pick-me-up days, no eat-candy-do-nothing days. Everyday is a damn Monday. EVERYDAY is life or death. Every holy day you wake up is a chance to push your limits, challenge your mindset, and see how far you can go. And every 24 hours, when the cycle starts again, itâs your mission to race to build a stronger, wiser and crazier you.
And who knows, perhaps one day, you and I will just be casually sipping tea in our dream home, laughing at how the milk is still being spilt but knowing, proudly, fiercely, that weâve come so far, even though thereâs still more left to do, more to give and so much more to be.
Takeaway:Â
Quit quitting. Youâre, guaranteed, 20x stronger than you think. I doubted I could go through with the workout, it seemed beyond my present physical capabilities. But I did, because I treated it as life or death. Understand this, the second you start making excuses, for being depressed, for taking an unnecessary day off - you give away your power. You are a very powerful being. Youâre limitless, capable of everything.
Iâm not throwing these words around to make you feel cute, I actually mean AND believe them. Thereâs so much thatâs been done alreadyâ the iconic four minute mile by Roger Bannister, invention of the light bulb, cars, toothpaste and other junk, people who lost both legs and climbed Mt. Everest, we sent a man to moon in frickinâ 1969 (50 YEARS ago), some ran a 26 mile marathon with zero training, love and hope is still strong in this world, oh letâs also add coffee and motivational musicâ and YOU think you canât finish a workout or get outta depression or meet your idols or marry the man of your dreams or become the artist you wanna be? Ridiculous. Donât give away your power that easily, this ainât no charity shop.
(play âŹ) Having personally dealt with unwelcome yet familiar feelings of emptiness quite often, Iâve now reached a point where each bad day is simply a reminder of how long my journey ahead is, and just how badly I want to reach my destination.
We finally near the end of this novel of a post (thanks for sticking around, bud), and my best advice would be this: Rather than wallowing in self pity and throwing one-man parties because your life is so awfully dreadful, know that even when life throws you to the floor, long as you can look up, long as you can read an entire book about defeating depression (cough)â you can GET UP too. Let those emotions of sorrow and frustration blaze up into a roaring, crackling fire that doesnât consume you, but instead, urges you, fuels you.
Lately, no matter how much shit I go through, how many arguments I tumble into, or how barren my dreams look sometimes, I donât break down. And no, it wasnât always like this. I never even had aspirations to name two years ago. Six months back, it had become a night routine to cry. Not anymore.
Now, every setback and every failure only pushes me to be stronger and give more than I ever gave. The day I made the decision to Conquer (truly, madly, deeply, with all of my heart) was also the day I said a big, loud âfuck youâ to every resistance that was to cross my path. I had finally understood that life was nothing but a battle of WILLS, that it was all in or nothing, and I made up my mind once and for all to NEVER give in to depression, or to society, or to anyone who tells me I cannot make it.
I had conquered depression. There was no looking back now.
Takeaway:Â
Hereâs something no one will tell you: the key to bringing depression to its knees is seeing it positively. Pretend that itâs a friend continuously sending strong, aggressive signals urging you to be happy. And what do you do when a caring friend throws some holy light? You listen, push past your ego, and follow accordingly.
And if that parallel seems unconvincing, hereâs another one (sup, DJ Khaled. This post is turning musical, sorry): itâs scared of you. Depression is scared shit of you. Y'know how bullies are, right? Majorly insecure, self-loathing too perhaps, hardly fans of self love, and always trying to numb all that subconscious pain by inflicting pain on others. Depression has the same instruction manual. Your fears and doubts are your (pathetic) bullies, and depression is the big olâ crony who does the dirty work for 'em.
Whenever you decide shit this is it, Iâm going for it, they go paranoid and try stopping you because theyâve seen no better. And if they succeed, BOOM, youâre depressed, paralyzed, your qualms reigning over you again. Donât let them in. Iâll say it a thousand times if I gotta because I want (HAVE) to see you conquer â youâre so much stronger than you think you are. You can do so much more than you think. Itâs all in your head! Donât just sit there, click away, and go back to living a sad life. Youâre better than that. DO better than that. Youâre meant to freaking CONQUER, straight-up dominate, my pal. Pay heed to that voice craving freedom. You got this. And you better know it.
One thingâs fixed like the (beloved by all) proportionality constants in Physics, you will come across depressing mornings and sluggish evenings even in the future. I assure you. Lots oâ bad hair days in the calendar, sis. But hereâs what youâll do: youâll deactivate the miserable thoughts, keep a cool head, remind yourself that this is yet another test (better, rap your new mantra) and USE that hurt, pain, and anger to create a fervor and passion that wreaks havoc on its obstacles and drives you to accomplish EVERYTHING youâve ever wanted to do. The easy choice would be to just give up, bellyache about the situation, and want sympathy for your worries. Yet, what youâll never do is⌠exactly that.
Rule 1) NEVER give up. Stand your ground. Have faith in your strength. Know that youâll have your way soon enough anyway. Rule 2) NEVER complain. All it does is drain your energy, that precious fire you could to high jump your way into the clouds. Makes you a pathetic wimp too, definitely not something you want on a warriorâs resume. Lastly, Rule 3) NEVER seek validation. From anyone. It sure feels nice to be acknowledged and encouraged, but grasp thisâ this is your journey. YOUR life and YOUR vision. Validation wonât get you anywhere, for thereâll never be enough of it.
Cuz Marty, if youâre tryna bring something new, different, and authentic into this world â youâll most likely be hated on badly, before youâll be loved madly (hi, me a rapper). Learn to invite hate insteadâIMPORTANT: hate from others, not yourself. Sounds counterintuitive, but this is the real tea: hate is good. It means youâre standing up for something, refusing to fit like a puzzle piece in society, and being UNAPOLOGETICALLY yourself. And itâs certainly a sign that youâre on the right path if you can ignore that hate and stick your tongue out at it. Â
Yet another reason to never seek validation is simply this: you have to fight for yourself. In order to meet your own expectations, reach the doorstep of the best version of you, and transform this world, youâll have to go wildly IN. Toil and hammer away. Shut out all the haters and non-believers, listening only to your gut. Importantly, learn to accept the rejection slips, validating yourself not with what Molly says about it being okay, but with the reminder that your time is coming soon. Depend on yourself. Validation will NEVER be enough.
I get it, itâs a lot of homework, but perhaps you already realize that itâs THIS work thatâll change your life forever. Not âhow to not procrastinate, Jesus take the wheelâ or âHELLO, lifeâs a mess so here are ten things to do (you wonât believe number four!)â. Clickbaits donât work, stop believing that a fancy planner is going to be your savior. There is no rule to making your life a masterpiece. Youâll have to get to know yourself and your dreams (journaling, meditation, silent pondering), build the work ethics and the mentality needed (lots of work in this one, yet no strict framework to go about it) and GET GOING.
AND with that firework, Iâll begin to slip away now. Again, I wonât say itâs easy, thatâs cock and bull. Lifeâs no fairytale. You will never feel ready to start bringing your dreams to fruition. But, my darling (Iâm being so nice yo, follow me), you must. You must force yourself to work for the future you want till it becomes a habit, an obsession. The world badly needs heroes; confident people who can stand for themselves so that others can stare at first, maybe even hate a little, but then follow because they seem unstoppable and are, truthfully, having the most fun at life. YOUâRE one of them. No validation, just plain facts.
You see, conquering is a LOT of blood and sweat (K-pop, anyone? BTS? Lmao, this is me tryna clickbait y'all to read). Even getting up will seem huge when youâre just starting out, and this is one long road, dear pal. Still then, I have enough faith in you to hope you donât give into your fears, I hope you willingly chase discomfort, and I hope you find the courage to do all that you want to do, while that heartâs still beating.
I hope you conquer. Iâll do too, and Iâd really like to see some familiar faces during the ride.
Peace, amigo.
A loud ass A/N: And now, we come the most important part of this post. WAKE UP Luke, stop snoring, and take some notes. Remember kids, I wonât accept anything but an A.
  If you couldnât identify yourself throughout this post and currently are scoffing like um woman, thatâs not really why Iâm depressed, hang in there a sec. Yes, you can stop singing It Ainât Me now. Youâve a very nice voice by the way.
Iâm not a doctor, and I donât have enough exposure to know why so many earthlings are depressed today. HOWEVER, by talking to many, following their stories, watching and reading stuff â I do know with firm conviction that a majority suffers from severe unfulfillment. Donât believe me? A study shows 85% of the working class worldwide hate their jobs. Do you realize what that actually means? EIGHTY-FIVE PERCENT of the THREE BILLION PEOPLE employed today, hate being employed in the first place! They do it for prime survival, to sustain themselves. And thatâs just jobs. I wonât scare you, but 50% (yes, HALF, you heard that right) of students HATE going to school. Kids waste SEVEN hours of their life every day going somewhere they dislike, doing something they hate. Whoâs singing now?
People find themselves trapped in golden handcuffs, taking the paycheck despite the passionless job. They push aside the art and business they love, to become a slave of good olâ cash. Several surround themselves with negativity and get frustrated when unable to escape the choking (no, not THAT kind again, hello someone pour holy water over this post) atmosphere. An innumerable are forced into taking up courses that they donât care about under parental pressure. The reasons are endless, and I donât think Iâll amuse myself listing all the sad excuses.
This has always been the story. Hundreds of influencers have preached the same words Iâm tryna put into your head here and youâll yourself say youâve heard this a million times. YET, youâre dissatisfied. YET, you feel like crap everyday, feeding yourself the same lie that the next day will be better, that youâll get up tomorrowâ while you let life beat the shit out of you.
Thatâs why, all of my words, everything youâve read today - all of that boils down to just one single question. A difficult but necessary choice. Will you let this happen to YOU? Will you, seriously, even after this wild ride together, go back to doing nothing and being nothing? Will you, for real, continue deceiving yourself, sacrifice your happiness for the sake of pleasing everyone else, and remain a statistic on a website?
  (play âŹ) If youâre not sure of your answer, read: Look, making you feel guilty is not my intention, because thatâs not how this works. I need you to understand instead. Guilt wears off, itâs only understanding that brings about change. So, just for old timesâ sake, Iâll rant a bit more (ik, just canât seem to leave yâall).
Youâre so, so young right now. More than half of your life is yet to be experienced. None of this probably makes much impact right now but it will the day you die. Remember, on your deathbed, you wonât EVER look back and say, âDamn, wish Iâd spent more time at the office. Saved up just one more dollar. Couldâve got that promotion before Amy.â Nay, it wonât even be on the calendar. That day, one foot in the grave, youâll reflect and wonder why the heck you didnât let yourself be happier. Why you took up that lacklustre, soul-sucking architect job when all youâve ever wanted to do is keep laughing. Why you didnât ask your crush out, why you were so afraid to walk up to that audition, because dammit, you couldâve been running your own comedy show by now. Why you dragged around a karaoke machine all this time instead of singing your own song. Why you couldnât love yourself. Why you submitted. Why.
And the moment you realize that you hadnât lived a life for you, youâll be crushed. Broken. The arthritis in your grannie joints wonât even compare and neither will the mild dissatisfaction youâre feeling right now. Those whys will haunt you, theyâll terrorize you, break you. Itâll hurt tremendously to know that there isnât a single thing in your long life that you could call completely your own.
 With every death today so many dreams are left unachieved, crazy things left unchecked on the bucket list, and unique potential left unexpressed.
DONâT let that be you. Please. Iâm still a mess myself, struggling to reach class on time and studying subjects that arenât exactly fun, when all I want to do is create content (read: fireworks) that is at a level of insanity, influence folks to do better, hold crazy world tours and meet-and-greets to give hugs, and get an adorable puppy so I can create a dogstagram (yes, Iâm that mom). Sure, I could declare itâs too hard, hang onto small-minded and negative people who whine endlessly, and follow the crowd, getting lost in it, with ease.
But I wonât because I canât take the burden of those regrets. That painful unrest and discontent that nothing could cure, not drugs, alcohol, buddies, not even true love. For then Iâd be just another drone, my controller in the hands of society, forcing me to see the world through its eyes. I canât give in because Iâm scared, terrified even, of wasting away this one life doing the bidding of others- folks who wonât even notice when Iâm gone.
Itâs easy to be depressed and crib your entire life. Itâs easy to think youâre worthless and that trying is pointless since nothing ever goes your way.
But perhaps, if you rise, if you simply DECIDE to have the audacity to fight for what you believe in, if you work and focus on becoming better, things will go your way. Life will bend to you, in awe, at your incredible relentlessness. Life will take one look at you, wonder who the fuck is this person? How the fuck are they so incapable of giving up? And back right away. And then perhaps, life will be such a blast for you that depression would become the past you never had.
  I know you can get there, conqueror. Itâs time you knew it too.
đđ Further reading? đđ
Last Post :â How To Get Back Into The Creative Process â For you, if youâre in a creative rut. Get outta it and go create magic!
5 Reasons Why Youâre Unhappy â To help you identify & cut out CURRENT sources of sadness so that you can spice up yoâ life with some happiness instead. Definitely recommend reading AND implementing.
The Bubble Trap & How To Get Out Of It â One of my classics. Everyone is in one of these 'bubblesâ till they consciously do something about it; thatâs just how it is. Are you still in one? (Someone teach me marketing, lmao.)
The 5 Biggest Regrets of The Dying (from Greatist) â I LOVED reading this. Pretty much all you need to cut the crap and do meaningful stuff. Read it, memorize it, work it.
++ Want to request a blog post? Leave your request in my ask box! Iâll get back to you with a reply, along with the average time Iâll need to birth that magical idea.
Thanks for dropping by! It was a pleasure to have you around. If you wish to stick for a bit, Iâd suggest picking one of the related posts mentioned above.
If you wanna check out my blog, hereâs a little something about me (y'all know I love the attention). What do I write about? Three arenas I dominate, Work, Lifestyle and Life, they are, my mate! Take your pick!
I post new blog posts bi-weekly, and my wins, & journal entries throughout the week, so follow me if youâre into conquering life, leaving a legacy and being the baddest badass you can possibly be. Iâll be your side pal, cheering you along.â¨
And that was it, itâs a wrap! Martha, shut the cams, Henry, pause the audio, and Nandita, I know youâre pretending to be deaf, but Momâs yelling something about doing the dishes. Better skip along.
And you, fellow conqueror? Keep slaying life, doing the work and making it count. I hope youâre well, stay strong and go conquer life. â§
Iâm sending you so much love, see you soon.
â Nandini đ (´・⢠ᾠâ˘ď˝Ą`) âĄ
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