pluralsmuppet

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Bitches be like ‘I’m so tired and sleepy’ and then stay up doing hyperfixtation shit for the next 5 hours

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i hope everyone here knows when i say "woe ____ be upon ye" im not saying woe because said thing is bad im saying woe to invoke the image of me throwing whatever im talking about at you eminem style

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5 pm: i really should hang myself

9 pm: lets see whats going down on the Twix company instagram

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I wish all my mutuals a throbbing and erect day

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I hate applying for jobs. “desired salary for this role” one billion dollars next question

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Being the person that needs to nap after every big meal is so embarrassing. I apologize for being a 1 week old

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Worst thing ever in the whole world is when a thunderstorm is forecasted and then it doesn’t storm. literally so rude I was excited for this all day.

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finally i have an excuse to draw homestuck fanart again

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You have to be willing to sit through horrible albums sometimes to look for new music and you might find it impossible but it’s what makes life worth living to me. it takes the discipline of a warrior to be a true music lover not everyone can survive it

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if i was a doctor and they called me to pronounce someone who's very obviously no longer alive as officially dead i would be so tempted to say "no" just to see what would happen

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as soon as I'm done watching a movie

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just did a hit of pillow and blanky

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Earth’s hottest day ever recorded by human instruments

Better way to phrase this is : top 3 hottest daily average-global-temperatures ever recorded by human instruments were this week.