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me: *gets scared that i’m wasting my life* me: i’m gonna deal with this feeling by taking a long nap in the middle of the day

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Via Pixel Factor

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god nerfed me by making me allergic to garlic and sunlight

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someone: I love reading about serial killers

me: yeah it’s interesting to look at different cases of psychopathy and see how they are almost always rooted in an abusive childhood

someone: no I mean I find them hot

me: 

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my dad guillermo laying it out

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some post: it’s okay if you haven’t done all these things yet! there’s no time limit and you move at your own pace! you shouldn’t be upset because you’re eighteen and none of it’s happened!

me, a 22yr old: 

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my sister-in-law, who has no kids and does not spend time around children ever, decided she wanted to take my kids on an “outing” yesterday. (she sees them like 4 times a year usually). she took them to some weird historical u.s. military fort museum thing, it’s like a big compound with like 15 buildings enclosed by a fence. anyway my 5-yr-old saw one of those red metal fire alarm boxes on the wall and asked his aunt “what does that say?”

now the correct answer to this question, in my opinion, would be “that is a fire alarm. we only touch fire alarms if there is a fire. if there is a fire, you would pull the handle and it would make a very loud noise so that other people know to get out of the building.”

according to several reliable sources, my sister-in-law’s answer to the question was, “it says ‘pull.’”

so anyway that’s how they managed to evacuate all 15 buildings at the museum and why this is probably their last “outing” for a while.

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I’m not into pranking people, so I decided I’d show you some animals that look silly instead.

Andean Cock of the Rocks (ALWAYS WATCHING)

Arabian sand boas (DOING THEIR BEST)

Dik diks (SMALL?????????)

Softshell turtles (SMOOTH BOYS)

Christmas tree worms (FESTIVE FRIENDS)

Saiga antelopes (I LOVE YOU BUT WHY)

Baikal seals (ROUND BOYS)

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Man I feel this on a personal level.

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