pockets-of-peace

[pockets-of-peace]

Hey personal blog, it’s been a while! 

So I’m sitting here minding my own business gaming after finally getting Liam to bed and I hear a ping outside of my game. Facebook messenger. So I downsized my game and pulled up FB. It’s a message from my father in law. We have very little contact. Sometimes he sends me things that are funny, sometimes he sends me things that aren’t my humor but I ignore them. By sometimes I really mean like once every 3-6 months. That is the extent of our contact. 

Tonight he sent me 2 things. I’ll just link both, they both go straight to Facebook. 

First 

Second

The first one pissed me off. I shot hubs a message because he’s working nights this week showing him and telling him I’m very close to GOING THE FUCK OFF on his father. I have never, ever yelled at either one of them or said anything remotely disrespectful to their faces before. Before hubs could respond he sent the second one. At that point I’m seeing red and shaking with anger. So I asked him “Why did you send this to me?” He goes “I thought it was funny” so I responded “I don’t. I purposely avoid talking politics with you and (mother in law) because you’re his parents and I try to maintain a friendly relationship. You and I have vastly different political views. Please do not send me this kind of stuff anymore.”

And then I called my husband at work. Thankfully he works alone at night because I. WENT. OFF. ON. HIM. 

GO CHECK FACEBOOK AND LOOK AT WHAT YOUR FATHER SENT ME. 

>>I can’t believe he did that<< 

WHY THE FUCK WOULD HE THINK THAT’S ACCEPTABLE??? 

>>I have no idea<< 

IF HE WANTS TO TALK POLITICS WE’LL TALK POLITICS. I’LL SCHOOL HIS ASS ON SOCIALISM I’LL SCHOOL HIS ASS ON HIS BRIGHT ORANGE DEITY AND I’LL SCHOOL HIS ASS ON WHAT HIS REPUB OVERLOADS REALLY THINK OF HIM

>> did you?<< 

NO!!!!!! DO YOU KNOW WHY??? BECAUSE i LOVE YOU MORE THAN I’M MAD AT HIM RIGHT NOW AND I DON’T WANT TO PUT YOU RIGHT BACK IN THE MIDDLE. DO YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT I DID SAY TO HIM???

>>yes<<

*reads it back to him*

>>He probably did that to rub it in your face that Bernie dropped out<< 

------silence-------

Right. Yeah. Ok. Doing little things like that to “stick it to me” tell me better than any thing he could ever muster out of his mouth just exactly how little he respects me as his son’s wife, as his grandson’s mom, and as a person. 

He had to go because he has a job to do. So I messaged my sister because while I’d really like nothing more than to unfriend and block the whole lot of them I won’t. But you can mute your FB conversations and I wanted to experiment with her. She’s amazing and obliged. You can mute as person for as long as you feel like ignoring them. They can send you messages but FB will not ping or notify you of the message. That works. So that’s what I did, and then I deleted the conversation. 

Ofc then she wanted to know who I was muting and why so I told her. She said she’d have gone off on him and cut ties. I want to. But I can’t. I have his son and grandson. I will not put them in the middle. I won’t. But I told her something I haven’t yet said to hubs, I might, I might not. I really HATE IT when they do shit to stick him in the middle it’s NOT FUCKING RIGHT... i wanna tell him but I don’t wanna hurt him. 

Like. I have no family left. They know that. They could take this opportunity to let bygones be bygones and put to rest whatever they feel for me as a person (again, we’ve never had any face to face issues they just don’t LIKE me) and embrace me as a part of the family.  ..... But they don’t. He sends me shit like this to rub my face in it that we are on opposite sides of the political spectrum. 

Guess it’s time to go back to making sure I block them from seeing anything I post on FB including posts about Liam.  /shrug 

An hour or so later and I’m not seeing red anymore, the anger shakes are almost gone, but the adrenaline is still high. Writing it out yet again helped. 

Reading this back I realize I sound very unhinged that those simple pictures would send me off the edge. My in-laws purposely have very little contact with me because they don’t like me. They won’t tell their son why and when they’re forced to actually be around me they act VERY different. It’s a very two faced situation. And frankly, I’m done with it. I’ve been with their son for 15 years. Accept it or MOVE THE FUCK ON AND GET OVER IT

[pockets-of-peace]

So here’s an interesting development that I’m probably not suppose to tell anyone, but you know, I’m not the one with the security clearance, and eventually it’ll get out anyway. 

My husband, if you didn’t know, is a civilian contractor for the Navy. His company is going back to 24/5 very soon. Because some of the squadrons are going back to 24/5. They stopped doing 24/5 over 10 years ago. 

That’s all the details I have right now, but I find the timing of this very interesting to say the least. 

[pockets-of-peace]

Believe it or not, the hardest time of the year isn’t Christmas or some other holiday. Nope, the hardest day of the year for me is my birthday. And it’s not because I’m getting older. It’s because no one in my family takes the time to wish me happy birthday. The people that used to are dead. 

[pockets-of-peace]

ketchup

In October my mother in law started laying it on thick that they were firmly planning on coming down for Christmas. 

In the beginning of November I got with my uncle who usually hosts the family Christmas night get together to ask if I could host this year. I thought if my in-laws were here it might be easier for everyone to just come here than to have to bring them along to a strange home full of people they’ve never met. At least my home is a place they know. Well. As it turns out Uncle S is in the end stages of a divorce. I was shocked. They’ve been vaguely talking about divorce for like three years, and some of us were starting to think it wasn’t going to happen. Well. No. Pam (his wife) grew a pair finally and pressed on forward with it. It’s a 30 year marriage, they’ve grown apart. That’s been evident for, I dunno, almost a decade at least to the rest of us. 

I usually just do an initial for privacy, with Pam I don’t care. I don’t like her. No one in my family likes her. She doesn’t like any of us and if my aunts know why they’re not telling. But I’m old enough to remember them getting married and literally all my life he’d drag her to the family holiday bash at least an hour or two late if she came at all she’d sit there miserable and pleading a headache. It was 50/50 she’d show up, if she didn’t he’d be there on time and she’d be “home with a headache”. Why you would marry a person that’s very close with their family when you yourself can’t stand those people I don’t know. 

So anyway, turns out Uncle S is in the middle of buying a new house and he’ll be moving shortly after Christmas so him hosting is completely out. So I landed Christmas this year. 

About a week after talking to him about that hubs called his parents to talk about them coming down with me in the room and the phone on speaker. (I usually make myself scarce for his calls with them) So I got to hear his dad’s tone of voice when he asked about it. His words said they were hopeful, but his voice said they’re not coming. I left the room. A couple of days later I approached hubs about to make sure he got the same general feeling from that phone call I got. He did. 

It took near another month for his mom to admit it’s not happening. 

I made an observation to him that had never dawned on me before and he went off on me. Well, not on me, but on the situation. I’d struck a nerve I didn’t realize he had. He’s pissed. Quietly simmering about it. 

That aside he’d scheduled this one week of PTO for the week of Christmas. He’s never taken Christmas vacation before and he’s really looking forward to it. Even if they’re not here, I know he’s going to enjoy having a week at home with me and Bud. 

We did Thanksgiving with Aunt D in Georgia. It was a nice day. Nothing much to say about it. A nice and quiet day. 

aaaaaaand I think that’s it for now. Quite ready for bed. Future post about xmas coming soon. (Hopefully

[pockets-of-peace]

Turns out I don’t have the time tonight. It’s only 2:30 and I’m exhausted. But I got a lot done today. And I can feel the frazzle coming down a notch or two. I still need to get the garland up, fold the laundry, and do the editing a good friend asked of me. And we’re painting this weekend. But I think I might be able to take it easy most of next week, and just do one or two things a day towards the ultimate goal of Christmas. 

This month has been so incredibly busy. Busier than a December’s been in years. I’ve been meaning to make a catch up post all week and I’m just not finding the time. 

I need to go clean my bedroom so that I can get down to wrapping. I HAVE to clean before wrapping can begin but I don’t want to. I really don’t want to. 

If I get the time later I’ll attempt to make a bullet point style update post. 

[pockets-of-peace]

This month has been so incredibly busy. Busier than a December's been in years. I’ve been meaning to make a catch up post all week and I’m just not finding the time. 

I need to go clean my bedroom so that I can get down to wrapping. I HAVE to clean before wrapping can begin but I don’t want to. I really don’t want to. 

If I get the time later I’ll attempt to make a bullet point style update post. 

[pockets-of-peace]

An interesting development....

So.. I found out about the rent hike in what? September? When we were debating on taking the offer to move into an updated unit, that was before we knew about the rent hike. We had decided that if we did it we’d wait until the people in the town home next door moved out because that unit got a new AC put in the year we moved in. Having an updated AC unit is important. The older ones simply can’t cool a unit of our size and the power bill reflects that. 

The town home next door goes through people at about one family per year. The current residents had just moved in a week or two prior to me finding out about the updates. That town home had already been updated when the prior residents moved out in August. 

Then we found out about the rent hike and all plans to switch stopped dead. 

Our plan was to just wait it out. The new management in the office told us we’d been grandfathered in at the old rent rate. Our lease for this year took effect right before the time the new owners took over. We don’t want to move. We thought well, maybe we can get one more year here before they start putting on the pressure to convert to the new unit and rate. Then we’ll move. So.. considering a possible move for June 2021. 

Then we started noticing something very concerning. These apartments have always had a high turnover rate. Like I said, the town home next door has gone through about 1 family per year. We’ve been here 4 years and we’ve seen 5 families move in and out of that place. There are a few faces we’ve taken note of through the complex as long term occupants, but for the most part there seems to be at least one family moving out or in per weekend. That’s the norm anyway.

Since the rent hike that has sky rocketed. We’ve noticed that people are leaving in droves. The new family next door? They’re already gone. They moved out last week. They were there less than two months. Could have been their plan all along. I dunno. They weren’t here long enough to get friendly with. Regardless. There are a lot of empty units right now. More than we’ve ever seen before. Half of the next building over is sitting empty right now because people are leaving faster than the reno team can complete a unit and move on to the next one.

It’s started to make us worry. How long does that grandfathered rate last? Are they lying and pushing it on you at renewal anyway? Do I need to plan to save what little money I have left from mom to put towards a move next summer? I have tentative plans for the end of May, the lease is up May 31st. This will effect those plans. They’re not going to get people in at the rate they want. Not in this location. We’ve wondered how quickly they’ll realize that. 

Another interesting development... the new official website for the complex is advertising the old rent rate while the three apartment finder type websites that show places in Jax are all asking the new rate. 

Who fucking knows but it has me uneasy and I’m going to ask them in January to make up a tentative new lease so I can know ahead of time if we’ll need to be planning to move this spring or not. 

[pockets-of-peace]

Fucking tumblr ate my post. For those that don't have me friended on Fb, this was Liam's Halloween costume. He was Ash Ketchum from Pokemon.

[pockets-of-peace]

another peek

I finished getting my books on the shelves tonight. They are no where near full and that’s the way I want them. I wanted to give myself room to grow, and I still need to add back all of the decorative touches. We still need to put the height extensions on them. That’s a project for this weekend. That will be mostly for storage and decor. The shelf with the photo boxes is going to be a shelf for Liam’s coloring books and coloring supplies. I’ve got some magazine holders coming in the mail today to organize that stuff. The spray paint is for some bookends I ordered. 

I’m also going back to IKEA this weekend for a 4th shelf. I knew I’d need one, but I kinda commandeered the 3rd shelf which was supposed to be for hub’s game collection. So I owe him a shelf. 

This isn’t all of my books. Romance tbr and read, thrillers, mystery - both historical and contemporary, and some of my loved kid’s books are still upstairs in the bookcase in my closet. 

I’m really pleased with it. I can’t wait until it’s done. 

[pockets-of-peace]

sneak peek

The third shelf is wonky so I need to go back and level it again. And it's no where near done, but I made a good dent in unpacking the books last night. Still need to weed out the ones I want pass on and shelve what I’m keeping, but I'm loving it so far.

[pockets-of-peace]

It’s been a week

I’ve been resisting making improvements and repairs to our home since we moved in. It’s very nice for our budget but it’s still just an apartment, and it’s not my job to repair or maintain other than the basics. That’s why we’re renting. We don’t want the added expense of maintenance. When we decided to take on the bookcase project this summer we decided we’d go ahead and paint the downstairs. The current paint on the walls is the cheapest builder paint you can get. Flat matte. You can’t wash the walls. Even with the softest rag and a bit of dawn in warm water the paint just washes right off the walls. All of my walls look bad, and in some spots, disgusting. I’m tired of it. We’ve discussed moving a lot this year and ultimately decided against it. We signed our 4th lease in June. We’re going to be here a while. Time to paint. 

We’re one can down and one and a half walls painted. I got Behr, it’s a good brand, stain resistant, satin finish so it’s easy to clean, in a shade of white to both brighten the place up and make it so I don’t have to paint again before we leave. We’re going on the “one can and one wall at a time” method so I don’t have to move all of the furniture at the same time. 

Some areas are going to need sanding, some are going to need spackle, some will need both. The drywall is old and shitty. Some areas are going to need to have the paint completely removed and redone. It’s going to be a project. 

This week we finished that one wall the shelves are going to be up against, and I rearranged everything at least half a dozen times. Now. Side note. This is important. Our complex got new owners over the summer. They did not inform us that we had new owners - they never do this is at least the third set of new owners just since we’ve been here. But importantly, this set is willing to put money into renovating the property!! This is fantastic news!! The insides of the units have obviously not been touched in at least 20 years. The outsides, while decent when we moved in have steadily gone downhill. So the new owners have repainted the buildings and put on new roofs, on every building. They’re repaving the entire lot (THANK ALL OF THE GODS), and putting in new landscaping by the front entrance and around the office. They’re also redoing the insides of the units. I found that out when I had a meeting with the property manager a few weeks back about prolonged maintenance issues I couldn’t fix. She let me view one. They’re hella nice!! New flooring, better quality paint in not flat matte. All new appliances in the kitchens, with actual stone and grout back splashes. New light fixtures in the bathrooms, all new counter tops through the unit, ceiling fans in the bedrooms. They’re really nice. And since they really want people converting over they’re waiving all lease breaking and move in fees. All they’re asking up front is to meet the difference on the security deposit and pet fees if you have pets. 

We’ve talked about it. We were on the fence. We just got a brand new AC unit this summer and it’s taken our bill down about $150 a month. The ac units through the complex are another issue. They’re all very old and most are too small to cool a whole unit. They only replace when the compressor dies and can not be fixed. We’re loath to give up our new unit and smaller power bill. I have to add that it is important to note that while the property manager told me about waiving lease and moving in fees she did not once mention rent. Not once. Leading me to think they’re asking the same amount we’re not paying which GREAT!! Yes, please do make this place look like it’s worth paying $800 a month!!! 

So this week in the middle of my furniture rearranging crisis I thought I’d look the complex up on the apartment websites and see if they’ve put up new staging pictures. Maybe that could give me some inspiration on where to place things. Short answer - no. But I noticed that the rate of rent for the 1/1 bed/bath had gone up $200. So I flipped to the 2 bed units to see what ours is currently going for. They want $1035 a month for our unit now. I saw that and had a complete panic attack. That is $200 more than what we currently pay. The unit rent for the entire complex has gone up by $200. We’re not in a very good part of town. We live in a very old part of town. On our left is a very nice and desirable area full of rich people. On our right is an older part of town, the naval base we live by has been open since WWI but didn’t gain traction until WWII. The buildings, the houses, they’re older. More run down. The further you get to Cecil Field (the really old base) the worse it gets. We’re in a boarder area it’s not the slums, but it’s not the best either. More importantly, no one living in our surrounding area can afford to pay $800+ for a basic 1/1 apartment and over a thousand for a 2/1.5. Not even a 2/2; a two and one half!!!! The people that live here now are working poor and it’s obvious!!! What the fuck are they thinking?!?!?!

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that she tried to talk me into moving over to a reno’ed one without telling me about the rent hike. So it was 3 am and I was in panic mode. I looked around to see what’s available in our area and it’s bleak. We’d have to downsize a lot of space for what we’re willing to pay. We’re already paying the max we can afford. We could pay less and go back to living in the ghetto. We don’t want Liam back in that sort of environ. We’re in a good spot. He’s 15 minutes in traffic from work. Liam is in a good school. We like where we are. We don’t want to leave. I looked into private rentals. It’s even worse. I was praying they’re only charging that for the reno’ed units. I took some meds to calm down and tried to sleep. I called as soon as I could that morning. 

Yes, they’re only charging that for reno’ed units. We were grandfathered in so our rent is unchanged. I’m going to keep on the project of painting and improving the walls little by little. We’re going to renew next June. But after that.... ? How long before they start to really apply pressure to transfer units? How long before the new owners realize they’re not going to get the sort of renters that can afford that? People that can afford that go to Collins or Orange Park the neighborhoods are so much nicer there. How long with this management company last? 

It’s going to be interesting to see where this leads. Interesting, and panic inducing. 

That wasn’t all I wanted to blog about but this turned out to be longer than I expected. 

[pockets-of-peace]

Hubs is getting a raise. Almost a whole dollar. 

This does not reflect from his job performance. Everyone gets the same amount of money in their raise at the same time as everyone else. It’s company wide; at least for their location. It’s been a few years though and they’re all chronically overworked because the Navy prefers to keep them understaffed at all times. They deserve this raise. Except for that one guy. He can go die in a boiling lake of lava. Fucking asshat. 

(they also have a chronic problem of not being able to keep new hires for several reasons. 1. No one wants to work the night shift because it is the short end of the stick. The like, one inch long piece of the stick. So all new hires go directly to night shift. They stay maybe a month and bail because that shift is literal shit. 2. Boss man has a hard time getting people cleared for day crew because the security clearance you need for that job is stupidly over the pay grade. 3. The ones that do get in also tend to bail after a month or two when they realize just how much you’re worked off your ass because CHRONICALLY UNDERSTAFFED. The people that stay are the ones that have been there 10, 15, 20 years. They have all given their last fuck years ago.)

[pockets-of-peace]

So replacing that tire and the rotation I needed afterwards took about half of the money I had budgeted for the trip. I had to decline at the last minute. Mixed feelings about that. 

One of these days I’ll make it to a family wedding,

Going on a road trip to Ohio this weekend with my sister for a family wedding. 

[pockets-of-peace]

When I went out last evening in the attempt to get my hair cut my car notified me that the tire pressure was off on one of my tires. Turns out there’s a nail in it. We aired it up and it survived the night with no pressure change. A slow leak. Hubs is going to take it in this afternoon after work.

It doesn’t surprise me, my complex has been having every single building reroofed over the past month or so. It was bound to happen. But did it need to happen now? This is my life so yeah. It did. Of fucking course it did. 

Going on a road trip to Ohio this weekend with my sister for a family wedding. 

[pockets-of-peace]

Going on a road trip to Ohio this weekend with my sister for a family wedding. 

[pockets-of-peace]

I dreamed of Currey last night. I think that was the first time since we had to let her go. 

[pockets-of-peace]

Queen + Adam Lambert concert part 2. There are a lot of pictures of Brian because he's my favorite, and also because he was right in front of us for most of the show.