poetryforlosers - Tumblr blog

[poetryforlosers]

emotions

No emotions.

Have no emotions.  

They cant hurt you if you do.

They dont love you.

Love never ends well.

It ends in 

Hatred 

Despair

Hurt

Its not worth the trouble.

Close yourself off.

They cant hurt you if you dont let them in.

No one can hurt you if you dont feel hurt.

Dont let yourself care,

And if you do, dont give yourself away.

It will go away eventually.

everything does….

-BLB

[poetryforlosers]

Birthday

Im thirteen, turning fourteen.

That might not sound like much.

But i feel the innocence melt away from me like wax.

They ring around my birthday cake,

Too many candles.

Happy birthday.

Not so happy.

I cant swing on the swing set. 

I cant climb trees,

I cant play dress up.

I cant have tea parties,

No teddy bears.

Always self conscious. 

I always promised myself i would never get older, 

But i broke it.

i feel myself starting to care about menial things,

Wheres my phone?

What was that ding?

What will my friends think of this outfit?

They are looking at me.

Im slipping. 

No more carefree days,

No more childhood days

No more tree forts,

Ive grown up.

Why am i so sad.

Its natural.

I knew it was coming.

Why do i feel like this?

Clinging to childhood like a monkey.

Why didnt i notice im old.

I promised myself i wouldnt get old.

I promised id be a child forever.

No one else feels like this.

Such a cry baby.

Happy birthday,

I just want to cry.

Im fourteen having an aging crisis.

How ridiculous, 

But im no longer cute, 

Im no longer a little lady bug.

I cant not know things.

Im old.

Im supposed to know better,

Im supposed to know everything.

No more, 

Wow, shes so smart for her age!

Now its just,

Study harder, 

Get a job, 

Act like an adult.

Why cant i start over? 

Relish lazy afternoons with my grandmother making cookies.

Going to the park.

Collecting pokemon cards.

Learning the abcs.

Its all so confusing.

Im so weak.

Who has a freak out about turning 14?

What kind of idiot hid that she had her period for months on end because she didnt want things to change?

What kind of idiot stays up the whole night of her 14 birthday crying?

And what kind of an idiot writes a poem about it?

me.

Im the idiot.

Im old.

-BLB