pointless-achievements

[pointless-achievements]

Achievement Available:

Tinker Tailor Soldier Breeder

Knock up that spy, in the name of the Prophets. (Vote Elim Garak)

NEED👏THAT👏MAN👏PREGNANT FINALE POLL 3

[Poll 1, Poll 2]

PROPAGANDA:

[Grunkle Ford]

"He has that pathetic nerd swag why wouldn't I want him pregnant. I know multiple people who would want to bang that senior citizen."

"okay so this is the most breedable motherfucker in gravity falls. sorry but its true. eldritch chaos god triangle wants him so bad he ended the world about it, genius engineer wanted him so bad it made his wife divorce him, aliens want him, everyone in the town keeps calling him a silver fox and hot, etc. his autistic swag, presumable complete sexual inexperience in his 60s, and whimsy are a recipe for all to feel extreme lust when gazing upon his visage.

reasons that he is so mpreg-able aside, it is actually somewhat plausible that he is currently, as we speak, mpregnant. the new gravity falls book, the book of bill, had a website that was released to promote the book and also relay a bunch of new fun information and arg things. this new book, in universe, is written with the intent to be read by ford, and for the website, it is showcasing ford's laboratory. so one could view all of the material with the perspective of it being directed at ford.

one of these messages on the website is an image of an ultrasound of a baby-- a triangular baby. on it, there is the message "congrats, guess what's growing inside you right now! see you in nine months, papa!"

so…. ford might be mpregnant with his ex, bill ciphers baby. yayyyy."

"He's just so submissive and breedable. he should get a sci fi abortion. he would not enjoy fatherhood."

[Garak]

"Because he would be soooo annoying about it and it would be funny."

[pointless-achievements]

Achievement Unlocked:

Clocked In The Jaw

Say something so out of pocket that you force the alien to speak English.

what are we even saying anymore

[pointless-achievements]

Achievement Unlocked:

Nobody Answered

Well ain't that a poke in the eye.

odysseus absolutely does present a threat to penelope if he perceives her as at all unfaithful, and i feel the unfairness of this, and i think people tend to undersell how much tension at least potentially exists between odysseus and penelope. but i'm also like. his reaction, all speculation aside, his actual reaction in the odyssey to her flirting with the suitors is delight, because he immediately ascertains that she is running a con. sorry that they're so in-sync in spite of the forces that try to drive a wedge between them, including their own misgiving hearts. sorry that they invented homophrosyne ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[pointless-achievements]

Achievement Unlocked:

MPrEgg

Singlehandedly lead the charge to impregnate that gay lizard spy. Yes I will stand by this pun even though Cardassians aren't oviparous.

NEED👏THAT👏MAN👏PREGNANT ROUND 5 POLL 12

PROPAGANDA:

[Logan]

"He is a little scrunkly man with way to many anger issues and too much trauma all he needs to do is settle down and chill out for a while with his adopted daughters and a little nun in the oven."

[Garak]

"Because he would be soooo annoying about it and it would be funny."

[pointless-achievements]

Achievement Unlocked:

It's Not Easy

Post the greenest fucking cat anyone has ever seen ever.

is my cat green? i sent this picture to a friend and she asked why my cat was green and i refuse to believe it 💔

[pointless-achievements]

Birthday Achievement Unlocked:

Feeling Crabby

Now this is a pun that's got legs.

Birthday achievement unlocked!

[pointless-achievements]

Achievement Unlocked:

Brain Fart

You reblogged to the wrong blog, dumbass. And it took you three fucking days to figure it out. Jesus Christ.

[pointless-achievements]

[pointless-achievements]

Achievement Unlocked:

Called Shot

You said 4, and you meant 4, and you got 4. Let's hope a popular blog doesn't punt you up to the other number you said.

"im doing numbers on tumblr. and the number? 4" <- 400k notes

[pointless-achievements]

Achievement Unlocked:

Proxy Printer

oh no the super rare foil post how will i ever get one, this is almost as ironclad as an nft of a cartoon monkey

[pointless-achievements]

Achievement Unlocked:

Creature Feature

Oof I am being mauled by some type of beast or perhaps an animal.

Round 2: The Quarterquarterquarterfinals

(Poll 9 of 64)

@pointless-achievements

“i find pointless achievements funny and cool”

@creatures-in-posts

“Finds creatures in posts, makes things in posts into creatures, or adds their own drawings of creatures, based on tbh and btw (aka the autism creature and the adhd creature).”

[pointless-achievements]

Achievement Unlocked:

An Honorable Fighter

I didn't think it'd be very sporting to reblog this immediately so I'm setting this to reblog on the last day of the poll.

Round 1: The Quarterquarterquartersemifinals

@pointless-achievements

“i find pointless achievements funny and cool”

@making-your-fave-in-fr

“i run myis and it's fun having a bunch of creative friends in the Critter Making Collective. as a ghost of tournaments past, i send creatures upon ye.”

[pointless-achievements]

Achievement Unlocked:

Cursed Treasure

Congratulations! You have successfully changed this from an EDH game to Archenemy. Good luck.

Have a magic card.

Achievement unlocked!

Get my goodside!

There’s no way this thing’s legal….

[pointless-achievements]

OH WE'RE FEELING BOLD HUH? FINE.

Evil And Stupid Achievement Unlocked:

Door-To-Door Fascism Salesman

"Hello sir, are you interested in funding a platform that is spreading sponsored Nazi propaganda? Hey why are you humming Bella Ciao and getting out a rope?"

Hm, I wonder what the next sponsored post on my dash will b-oh.

Oh that's @staff putting literal fascist propaganda, sponsored, on my dashboard

I don't even have a funny achievement post for this, this is horrific.

[pointless-achievements]

Hm, I wonder what the next sponsored post on my dash will b-oh.

Oh that's @staff putting literal fascist propaganda, sponsored, on my dashboard

I don't even have a funny achievement post for this, this is horrific.

[pointless-achievements]

Achievement Unlocked:

Hang On I Need To Google Something

...yeah okay that makes sense.

Rare Achievement Unlocked:

Read the Pinned Post

The thing you're doing now.

Welcome to a gimmick blog that gives out dumb, pointless achievements that have neither merit nor value! If you cannot behave then you will be blocked and forgotten. Transphobes (including people who think they aren't transphobic but "have some concerns"), can eat my entire fat juicy nonbinary ass.

I'm willing to tag things when asked, and I'll try to include CW tags on posts when it seems appropriate.

Mod's one of those he/hims unless a different set of pronouns is necessary for the bit.

If I don't answer your ask then it's probably because I couldn't think of anything worth adding to it.

[pointless-achievements]

Here's some receipts showing that writing-prompt-s was actively smearing vetted fundraisers as scams and claiming a Palestinian who had been on Tumblr for over a decade was a fake scammer (and also reblogging posts smearing UNRWA from a virulent zionist).

This went well beyond being suspicious of scammy-looking asks or mentions.

Round 1: The Quarterquarterquartersemifinals

@writing-prompt-s

(no propaganda submitted)

@memes-to-show-the-past

“honestly i’m surprised this idea hasn’t been done sooner! it’s so fun!”