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Concept: formalwear for wizards in the mode of 17th Century continental European court fashion, except instead of powdered horsehair wigs it involves elaborately curled and pomaded false beards. The best quality ones are fastened to a shoulder harness because the neck can't take the weight.

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what if it GETS her though 😥

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A friend of mine has been reading The Locked Tomb trilogy aka descended into Lesbian Necromancer Hell . He's having a great time, and been sending me reports from the pits.

Now I know that in the context of the story "DEATH TO VULTURES AND SCAVENGERS FIRST" is very poetic and badass, but taken with the context that this is the motto of the bone-manipulating guys, the motto sounds slightly less badass and more like they've been having an ongoing problem with Lammergeiers.

Thing is,

A Lammergeier is like, the single most badass familiar an osteomancer could have. Fuck off huge raptorial bird that is either black and white or black and blood red so either way it goes with your goth-ass aesthetic and is extremely easy to train to bring you fun and interesting new bones? Why does the ninth house NOT have these?

Oh right. Jod.

Anyway, this combined with a previous idea I had about Truly Awful Bird/Mammal combinations for The Worst Gryphon Ever, and you know what? Some fuckass idiot in that universe WOULD make a Lammergeier/Spotted Hyena Gryphon. Now that's a creature made to fuck over necromancers six ways from Sunday.

Eats flesh AND bones.

Constantly scream-laughing.

Terrifyingly intelligent.

-And then whatever idiot created this abomination made it big enough to ride and drool corrosive venom because everyone in that universe automatically doubles down on any bad idea they have.

Harrow is sobbing at it's mere existence.

Gideon is trying to cradle it in her arms. This is their daughter now.

"Daddy harrowhark put a bone in mommy griddlecakes and she made Princess Bonefucker Ultraviolence 9000 and birthed her with her own womb-" Gideon is saying aloud in the most babytalk voice possible to the gryphon, who is rolled over on its back and entirely agreeable with being smothered with affection, because if the Gryphon has a sole redeeming feature it's that it possesses the zen like chill that comes from the bone-deep knowledge that it is at the absolute apex of the local food chain.

It's also wearing Gideon's sunglasses.

They do not fit.

Gideon may spoil Princesss Bonefucker Ultraviolence 9000 but that animal is OBSESSED with Harrow. It's a real Daddy's Girl kind of creature, and it will attempt to eat the face of anyone that so much as looks at Harrow without her permission. Harrow isn't sure about this thing until it takes an actual shilouette-altering sized CHUNK out of Ortus' ass, and then she becomes very fond of Daddy's Special Little Apex Predator. She deigns to give it one (1) headpat, and is treated to Princess Bonefucker's "Happiness Noise", which sounds like someone threw a handful of gravel into a running garbage disposal.

"Why..?" Harrow asks, feeling the remaining edges of her sanity start to melt.

"Why not?" Asks Gideon, accurately reporting the entire thought process that went into the creation of this horror.

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Oh, uh. I guess I should mention that I’ve made this thing. Three months after release sounds like a perfect time. Untitled Tile Painter is a quirky little drawing tool that lets you lay down funky geometric Bauhaus-inspired patterns. It’s 50% a useful thing for actual people and 50% me wanting to stretch my UMG muscles on something. It’s also a little bit like a control panel of an alien spaceship, as far as UX goes. Give it a go, if it looks like your kind of thing! It’s entirely free and all generated images are yours to keep and use as you see fit.

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dash is dead im teleporting to the past

https://www.tumblr.com/dashboard?max_post_id=606474489540042752

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05.10 - “The wizards had been summoned to wake the sleeping giant”

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DnD dragons have always been hot, but the DnD 2024 redesigns are on a whole 'nother level. The way the new designs lean more into real-world reptile anatomy makes them feel a lot more tangible and "real", which adds to the sex appeal for me. They're all really hot but the new green and blue dragons in particular have got me failing my wisdom saves. God I need to get plowed by a dragon.

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Thread on alternative views of iconic landmarks you (probably) haven’t seen before 🧵

1. Mount Fuji from a plane window.

2. Arc de Triomphe, Paris

3. Aerial view of Kaaba, Mecca

4. A view of the Taj Mahal that you do not usually see, highlighting the stark contrast between opulence and poverty divided by a single wall.

5. Top down view of the Statue of Liberty

6. The backside of Tutankhamun's burial mask

7. The dome of St. Peter’s Basilica seen through Rome's most famous keyhole.

8. The worn steps of the Tower of Pisa

9. Photographer Alexander Ladanivskyy, in collaboration with the Egyptian Ministry of Tourism, captured an extraordinary drone shot of the Great Pyramid of Giza from an unusual perspective.

10. The Shanhai Pass, where the Great Wall of China meets the ocean.

for images 11 - 25, please see the source, here

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Art by Brynn Metheney

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i wanna talk about this shot

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easy. lmao

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Snom nom nom nom nom

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Kringle's Conundrum 🎅

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The post about angel wings not needing to be purely white to be beautiful reminded me of a picture I LOVE

This pigeon is an angel