polarisparadise

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If you were here, i wanna tell you that i had a difficult time sleeping at night and can't help myself to sleep in the afternoon. I was just becoming like you, Dad. I hope I can get rid of this situation.

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I miss you dad 😢

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Watching openAI getting better each time when i get better slowly, it hurts! 😢

Last time i told myself, if one day Alien Intelligent took my job, i'll be fine because i still have myself and my passion..

But man, how can i be fine while seeing it just better than myself 😢 and what's the point for all of this?

Art is a way for a 'person' to express themselves. It's a complex process that takes time!

Meanwhile, I used chatGpt to support my mood, help me improve my writing skills and schedule my time 😢 but noo way, i ask it for doing my job as an artist!

This is inevitable, i know.

Just about time, sure.

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Ah, nothing more special than talking with Bibi 🥺✨️

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I sold myself to the company and if I slipped, I would end up just having my time to spend on them. I have to be more diligent to set my own schedule💪 I won't give my whole life to them.

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It's funny how I can be so inspired and make progress seem so easy these days, it starts with ChatGPT which helps me stay awake while getting bed spell in the morning, and asks me a lot of silly questions that who knows turns into cool scenarios for my project~

Alien intelligent, you help me

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Current mood :

I only have 150rb rupiah left in my pocket today, yet I still look this happy~

It isn't about money anyway

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When you don't have enough money to buy medicine, I guess dying while fasting in Ramadhan will be my golden ticket to Jannah 😂 have a little faith~

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I bought this phone in an emergency time when the place where I've been working finally broke, and I had to save money.

It is not expensive, it's actually a cheap phone with no fingerprint feature, nfc, standard camera, and RAM. Well I think it's been 2 years now and I can tell this phone is awesome (^-^)

I am a clumsy person who often breaks or drops things without meaning to. Hehe!

I don't know how many times this phone fell, I can't count! Yet till today, it is still fine, not even breaking. I am surprised by its durability, awesome.

I was like "This phone is made for someone like me haha"

Just like every girl who puts aesthetics at the top of their goals in life, I'd really want to change myself to the next level by choosing an iPhone as my cellphone. I even prepare money for buying in the future.

Saving money for this 'high-class' phone feels sooo long (^-^; and I feel like I can't achieve that because I have another saving goals.

I wonder why many people say the middle class is struggling financially, yet many young people, including those who just started working, are using new iPhones and other expensive products. Are they doing okay, or am I just too poor to buy one?

Well, despite I know they can choose to pay later, it still confuses me~

In my opinion, the price just makes no sense at all

Back to my savings, finally, I decided to take the money and move to something else. I thought maybe for now that phone was just not suited for me, as it was financial and character hahaha. I believed from day one that the phone could not survive (^∀^；)

Maybe for now, I can get those 'aesthetics' photos from something else, like this digicam that belongs to my father 💙

No doubt, it looks so great! 🤍

#lovely #aesthetics

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Wondering what dead people are are doin' right now. Do they even get bored, or do they have any emotion at all?

What am I gonna do if I die, is there still something called 'desire'? Huh

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Now I know, what it feels like to lose somebody that really matters in your life. It's like you finally have something that you always wanted, yet there's always something missing and you don't know what it is, and you cannot find it or replace it because it just gone.

Sometimes it makes you stronger but mostly sad because you miss 'em so much 💔

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Got a new reminder🙈

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Hari ini lagi cantik banget langitnya banyak bintang. Baru sadar bulan Januari jadwalnya konstelasi Orion, kalau liat malem-malem ada bintang 3 sejajar udah jelas itu Alnitak, Alnilam dan Mintaka. Pertama kali spot mereka waktu masih jaman SMA dibantu pakai teropong ayah sama aplikasi konstelasi yang ada saat itu. Inget banget dulu girang sendiri karena berhasil liat nebula ( which idk kalau ini beneran nebula xD ) tapi kayaknya sih iya. Dulu observasi ditengah-tengah mamah sama ayah yang lagi asik ngobrol di teras (;＿q)

Sekarang minus mata udah makin gede jadi susah buat ngelihat jelas, ditambah bintang Betelgeuse udah semakin memudar cahayanya.

Liat mereka rasa flashbacknya kerasa banget, bring back lot of memories✨️

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Happy Chinese New Year!🌷✨️

Here’s an illustration that I created for my studio.

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Sekilas baca postingan lama, sedihnya masih sama haha

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Orang udh pada gak punya malu apa begimana sih?!

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It is painful to lose you, Dad.