polishladybug - Tumblr blog

[polishladybug]

Can I tell you a secret? You don’t have to be in a relationship.    I mean it. I know they force it down your throat until you choke on it. Girls aren’t pretty unless they’re wanted. Boys aren’t men unless they’re having sex with someone. People aren’t lovable until they’re dating someone.    But a relationship won’t always make you happy, and as wonderful as romance is, it isn’t the only love that exists. I have seen friendships that are deeper and more pure than couples who swear it’s forever - and yet the friendship is the one people ignore.    I have heard so often “nobody loves me” out of the mouths of people who are single. And it kills me because if you ask them: where are your parents, your teachers, your classmates, your pets - they say, yes, okay, but it doesn’t count. Of course it counts, love doesn’t diminish just because someone doesn’t want to have sex with you. In fact, doesn’t it sort of make that love more real that they want nothing - not even a date - out of you?   It is pretty to be in love. It’s magical, I’m sure. But it’s also wonderful to stop for ice cream in your prom dress with six other girls. It’s also wonderful to go visit the world with nothing but a bunch of buddies who are really excited about learning.    The problem is: we’ve made everything about “the one”. But maybe “the one” is just you, loving yourself, having fun, and being happy. Maybe instead of looking for our other halves, we should be piecing ourselves together.   Maybe I wasn’t born unfinished. Maybe I am the one who makes myself better.

Single serving size // r.i.d (via inkskinned)

[polishladybug]

What's your idea of a perfect cuddle day with your partner?

It all starts with sleeping in as late as we want. Some half-asleep pillow talk, followed by a sweet and slow love-making session. Then we fall back to sleep in each other’s arms. This cycle repeats several times until we both realize we haven’t eaten- but by this time it’s too late for breakfast so we order in lunch.

Afterward, we start all over again.

[polishladybug]

Do you think that one day you'll want a wife and kids? The white picket fence life, or do you like being a free man?

I’d quite like to marry. I think I’d make a great ex-husband.

[polishladybug]

I think I would very much like to be your girlfriend

That’s sweet of you. I’ve always wanted to be loved by a little sphere with glasses.

[polishladybug]

Hey, if you have a multitude of little birds (screaming "fuck me") wouldn't that make you Varys?

I think it would make me littlefinger.

But I do get as much action as Varys.

[polishladybug]

💟💞💟💞💟 that is all... You amazing you... 💋💋💋

All my work. My struggles. My efforts. 

My soul bare, my heart on display. 

The entirety of my training. The sume of my parts.

All it amounts to is eleven hearts, three kisses and one adjective…

[polishladybug]

If you could be any mythological creature, what would you be? I'd be a mermaid because 1) they're beautiful 2) dolphin friends 3) no need to wear a bra

I mean, you don’t neeeeeeeed to wear a bra, do you? And you’re likely already beautiful so it seems a waste of a myth transformation to become a glorified seaworld trainer.

My top picks:

Cyclops:

- Save on glasses RX.

- Get to make lots of jokes about guys named Newman.

- Free pass for being clumsy and bumping into people.

Chimera:

- Bet you thought I was coming at you with that head.

- Nope, it was actually this one.

- Guess again!

Gorgon:

- Immortality.

- Get to date a muse.

- Minus points for weird family relationships…

Troll:

- No need for health insurance.

- Real estate in the arctic is cheap y’all.

- Toppest of keks.

Dwarf:

- Fucking beer for breakfast.

- ‘Helmet Hair” is no longer an insult.

- Yuse gais khan goh fukurelves. Ah khan sthop dhigging aneeeeeethime ah whant.

Dragon:

- Death from above.

- Death from ground level.

- Death pretty much everywhere.

- Know how knights think, got the edge on them.

- People will finally learn I have a better voice than Benedict Cumberbatch.

Gargoyle:

- You winning this fight? Oh shit, now I’m stone.

- Free rent at local church steeples.

- Magic wings. 

[polishladybug]

[polishladybug]

“Tips to prevent mood swings: avoid caffeine, alcohol and sugary foods” that’s me diet tho mate

[polishladybug]

We need to have a talk about how he treats you.

[polishladybug]

Please, please, please: be extra kind to people working retail and service industry jobs

If you have ever worked with the public, you know that people can be … what’s the word? … Ah, yes, fucking terrible. 

If you have ever worked a seasonal job, in retail, where you already have no idea what’s going on and there is no one to help you because everything is a crazed holiday terrorscape, then you have truly gazed into the abyss of humanity. It has gazed into you.

It is not hard to inject kindness into this situation. Acknowledge that this person is a human — ask how their day is going, and mean it. Be patient and courteous, because you are not the only one who wants their help or attention; the store is, in fact, full of people with the same aims and goals as you: get in, find gift, leave. 

Let it be known that you recognize that their job is not easy or fun. Know that they are probably not making more than minimum wage. They are working long, hard hours for a job they need. You can be a very small bright spot, that person who reminds them that not all — heck, not even most! — humans are bad eggs.

If other shoppers are being awful, let it go. You don’t know what’s up with them that would cause them to act like this. As my friend Virginia would say, you don’t know where they’re coming from — in the last 20 minutes or the last 20 years.

[polishladybug]

Have you ever been turned on by twerking?

I have. Each and every time someone has stopped doing it.

[polishladybug]

well, Russell Crowe is a really big fan of Polish team

[polishladybug]

vibrators are WRONG and unnatural the bible said adam and eve not florence and the machine

[polishladybug]

Funny how The return of the Dark Lord took place on 24 June, 1995 and the exit of Britain on 24 June, 2016.

not funny but tragic.

[polishladybug]

oh my god

[polishladybug]

A message you may never receive.