pompomqt

[pompomqt]

sorry if i’m being a party pooper but because rabies is apparently the new joke on here ??? please remember that rabies has an almost 100% fatality rate after symptoms develop so if you’re bitten or scratched by an animal that you aren’t 100% sure is vaccinated then GO TO A DOCTOR. it’s not a joke. really. 

[pompomqt]

Journey to the West Chapter 86

Wukong can be very vindictive sometimes.

Welcome back to this week's chapter of Journey to the West with @journeythroughjourneytothewest. This week, Wukong and the rest of the disciples must once again rescue Tripitaka from the clutches of the Demon of the Week. Let's just hope they aren't to late. So let's get into it shall we?

While Wukong is calling for Tripitaka, Pigsy shows back up, and Monkey asks him if he's seen Tripitaka. Pigsy says that he was fighting the monster, and left Tripitaka to be guarded by Monkey and Sandy. Monkey says the Monster slipped past Pigsy and attacked them again, so he left master with Tripitaka to head it off. Only for Sandy to show up with the exact same story. Upon hearing this, Monkey realizes they've been duped, and cries because Tripitaka is once again in danger of being devoured by demons. Pigsy tells him not to cry, and they begin searching the mountain for him.

After a little searching they come across a cave named the Broken Peak Joined Ring Cave of Mist Concealing Mountain. Since demon caves always have long descriptive names like this, they figure it's the right place. So Monkey let's Pigsy do the honor of breaking down their front door and call for them to send out Tripitaka. A minion demon reports the break in, and at first they aren't to worried about it-it's only Pigsy after all. They then get much more worried when Monkey reveals that he here to. The Demon King doesn't really want to pick a fight with the great sage, so the newly crowned Vanguard suggests they try and trick him into leaving with a false human head first.

So the Vanguard cuts a stump, and shapes it into a human head, pours some blood on it, and calls it a day. He then throws it out to Wukong saying they already ate Tripitaka, and have his head as proof. This is enough to fool Pigsy, who immediately starts crying at the sight, Monkey however knows a decapitated human head when he see's one. I can only assume he's familiar with them... Anyways he throws it against a boulder to show Pigsy the sound it makes to prove it to him. He then cracks it open with his staff revealing it to be a stump. Upon realizing he's been deceived, Pigsy starts yelling at the demons, which causes the Vanguard to go back and report to the boss.

Despite the failure the demon's aren't ready to give up on their plan just yet, this time they'll just use one of the real human heads they have lying around. Why they didn't just do that before... I guess they just didn't want to waste a quality head if they didn't have to. Anyways the minion picks one out, gnaws on it a bit to make it unrecognizable, and then rolls it out to the disciples. This time, Monkey see's that it's a real human head, and is deceived, and all three of the disciples start crying.

They take the head and bury it, and Pigsy tries to find some offerings, but can only pick up some large twigs and some pebbles. Monkey is a bit insulted on Tripitaka's behalf, for the feeble offerings, but he has bigger problems at the moment. Namely, gearing down the demon cave and cutting their leading into ten thousand pieces. So Monkey takes Pigsy back to the demon cave, and together they bust down the demon's door and yell at them to give them back a living Tang Monk. When he hears this, the Vanguard suggests they all fight off the monks. I'm sure the canon fodder will all be fine against the Great Sage Equal to Heaven.

The Demon of the Week introduces himself as the Great King of the South Mountain, and him and Wukong begin to fight, while Pigsy fights the Vanguard and other minions. Eventually Wukong decides that they could use some more numbers on their side, and uses his hair clones to attack the minion demons. Seeing the tide turn, the demons try and retreat further into the cave, the Great King is able to get away, but the Vanguard is killed by Wukong, revealing it's true form to be a gray wolf. They continue following the demons, only to find that the Demon King and the remaining living minions have barricaded the door. Rather then waste their energy busting down the reinforced door, they decide to check back in on Sandy and Tripitaka's grave.

They go back to the grave, and Sandy is still crying, and Pigsy throws himself onto the grave and pounds the dirt crying about their ill-fated master. Monkey tells Pigsy to wait here with Sandy this time, while he sneaks in through their back door. So Monkey goes back to the cave to find an alternative entrance, and finds a little brook, which seems to lead to a drainage sewer, Monkey decides that this must be his alternative entrance. So Monkey transforms into a water rat, and manages to sneak into their courtyard. There he finds several fiends hanging up slabs of human flesh to be dried. Monkey assumes this must be his master, and wants to smash the minions right away, but decides that would be unwise since his target is the main boss. So instead he transforms into a winged ant and flies to the center hall where the Great King is.

Monkey arrives just in time to hear a minion demon giving the boss his report, that Monkey, Pigsy and Sandy are mourning at a grave, so that means they must have believed them when they said that head was Tripitaka's. Monkey is thrilled to hear this, since this means that if they deceived them, that Tripitaka must still be alive. Now that he knows Tripitaka is alive, Monkey decides to search for him, and soon enough he finds a sealed door, inside of which is a large garden, and more importantly, his master! Oh, and the random wood cutter is still here to I guess.

Upon seeing Tripitaka, Monkey transforms into his true form to see him. Tripitaka cries when he see's him, and calls Wukong repeatedly to save him. Wukong tells him to quiet down a bit since the demons are still alive, he tells Tripitaka that he will rescue him after he knocks out the demon. Having confirmed that Tripitaka is indeed alive, Wukong transforms into an ant again and returns to the center hall. There Wukong overhears some minion demons talking about all the different ways they can cook Tripitaka. This enrages Wukong, and probably plants the seeds of the idea on how Wukong will deal with them later. Turnabout is fair play after all.

Anyways, Wukong uses his hair to make some sleep bugs to make all the monsters in the cave fall asleep, although the Demon King needs an extra dose to go to sleep. Once everyone is a sleep, he rushes back to Tripitaka, who asks him to untie him. However Monkey decides to kill the demon first- only right as he's about to strike he decides to rescue Tripitaka first, only to change his mind again. He rushes back and forth like this a few times, which earns him a laugh from Tripitaka. Eventually Wukong settles on rescuing Tripitaka, and unties him, which has the woodcutter asking Wukong to save him to, which Tripitaka seconds. So Wukong unties the woodcutter as well and they all leave the cave together.

They go back to the grave, and Tripitaka reveals that he is alive to Pigsy and Sandy, and they have a touching reunion while Monkey fills them in on what happened. Pigsy is so enraged by the trick that he digs up the human head to pound it to pieces. Tripitaka says he shouldn't be angry at whatever poor unfortunate soul that was for being tricked, instead they should be grateful to them for saving his life. So Pigsy buries the head of the fake Tripitaka once again.

Now that that's taken care of, Monkey returns to the cave and ties up the boss demon, and then uses his staff to pole him out of the cave. Pigsy offers to finish killing all the minion demons of the cave, but Monkey has a better idea. In what I can only assume is vengeance for them planning to cook Tripitaka, Monkey gathers some firewood to burn them instead. Monkey and Pigsy light the demon cave on fire, burning any minion demon's still alive, to death. After that they return to the others, and see that the Demon King is starting to wake up, so Pigsy rushes forward and kills it- revealing it's true form to be a spotted leopard.

With the demon now dead, the Woodcutter invites them over to his home for a meal in order to thank them for saving his life. And to my surprise, the woodcutter really is just a normal human and not secretly a god or something in disguise. First time for everything I guess. Anyways, he and his mom have a touching reunion, before feeding the pilgrims and sending them on their way. However before they go their separate ways, the woodcutter tells Tripitaka one last thing, they are now less then a thousand miles away from their goal.

Current Sun Wukong Stats: Names/Titles: Monkey, The Stone Monkey, The Handsome Monkey King, Sun Wukong (Monkey awakened to the void), Bimawen (Banhorseplague), The Great Sage Equal To Heaven and Pilgrim Sun. Immortality: 5 + 94,000 years Weapon: The Compliant Golden Hooped Rod Abilities: 72 Transformations, Cloud-Somersault, Ability to transform his individual hairs, super strength, Ability to Summon Wind, Water restriction charm, and the ability to change into a huge war form, ability to duplicate his staff, ability to immobilize others, the ability to put others to sleep, and the Fiery eyes and Diamond Pupils, intimidating horses, churning large bodies of water, sleeplessness, seizing the wind, enhanced smell, discerning good and evil within a thousand miles, Spirit Summoning, lock picking, object transformation, distance reduction, vanishing in a flash of light, super healing, transforming others, Invisibility, Wind Immunity, Medicine Making, putting out fire from a distance with a glass of wine, weaving a straw dragon, Body Division and Breathing Fire Demon Kill Count: 10754 + Unknown Number of Minions Human Kill Count: 1039 God's Defeated: 23 + Unknown number Defeats: 8 Crime List: Robbery, Murder, Mass Murder, Arson, Theft, Coercion, Threatening a Government Official, Resisting Arrest, Assault, Forgery, Employee Theft, False Imprisonment, Impersonating a Government Official, Treason, attempted murder, failure to control or report a dangerous fire, desecrating a corpse, breaking and entering, trespassing, violating Tree Law, looting corpses, trading counterfeit goods, criminal threat, animal abuse, Assisting or Instigating Escape, Damage to Religious Property, contaminating a substance for human consumption, Identity Fraud, Disorderly Conduct, Joyriding, unauthorized practice of medicine, Voyeurism and Immolation Cry Count: 22 + 3 fake cries Mountains Trapped Under: 4

Current Tang Sanzang stats: Names/Titles: River Float, Xuanzang, Tang Sanzang, Tripitaka and the Tang Monk Abilities: Curing Blindness, making branches point a certain direction (allegedly), reciting sutras, pretty privilege, memorization, Heart Sutra, Meditation, Being Heaven's Specialist Little Guy, a Golden Halo and Danger Sense Cry Count: 52 Tight Fillet Spell Uses: 63 Paralyzed by fear: 6 Bandit Problems: 3 Kidnapped by demons: 18 Falling Off Horses: 12

Current Bai Long Ma Stats: Names/Titles: Bai Long Ma (White Dragon Horse), Prince of the Western Ocean, and third prince jade dragon of the dragon king Aorun Abilities: Transforming into a human, a water snake, and a horse, eating a horse in one bite, flight, Magic of Water Restriction, Singing, Sword Dancing and Magic Pee Cry Count: 1 Crime List: Arson, and Grave Disobedience. Contributions to the plot: 4 Kidnapped by demons: 6

Current Zhu Wuneng Stats: Names/Titles: The Marshal of the Heavenly Reeds, Zhu Wuneng (Pig who is aware of ability), Zhu Ganglie, Pigsy, Idiot and Eight Rules. Weapon: Rake Abilities: 36 Transformations, parting water, fighting underwater, cloud soaring, size enhancement, CPR and Shoveling Demon Kill Count/Kill steals: 16 + Unknown number of minions Kidnapped by Demons: 12 Human Kill Count: 1 Failed Flirtation/romances Attempts: 5 Cry Count: 8 Crime List: Sexual Harassment, Murder, Kidnapping, arson, defamation, Damage to Religious Property, contaminating a substance for human consumption, Identity Fraud, Theft, Forcible entry, Disrupting a Funeral, Violating Tree Law, Arson and Immolation

Current Sha Wujing Stats: Names/Titles: The Curtain-Raising General, Sha Wujing (Sand Aware of Purity), Sandy and Sha Monk Weapon: Monster Taming Staff Abilities: Fighting underwater, Cloud soaring, fetching water from a well, and Conflict De escalation Demon Kill Count: 1 + Unknown number of minions. Kidnapped by Demons: 8 Human Kill Count: 1 Cry Count: 6 Crime List: Breaking a Crystal Cup, murder, desecration of a human corpse, Damage to Religious Property, contaminating a substance for human consumption and Arson

[pompomqt]

Happy let Papyrus say fuck day!

[pompomqt]

imagine being in love with your boyfriend RIVAL leading to such an elementary oversight

extra akiren :3c

[pompomqt]

Just made myself so so sad thinking about Aang's marble trick because from a physics perspective, keeping dense spherical objects afloat on an airstream is not trivial, and he's doing it in a tiny little space without moving his hands. Bending is usually very gestural. So. Everyone in the era of the show is, at best, impressed THAT it is airbending. But Aang's an incredibly young master airbender. He wouldn't be acting like this was the bestest trick ever if it didn't take at least some skill; he's a goofy kid but he's also a prodigy. I bet other airbenders were absolutely blown away (pun fully intended) at the level of precision and force and minimalism of movement on display and now there's no one who understands at all why he expects accolades.

[pompomqt]

Haha… yeah… that’d be crazy…

[pompomqt]

He is such a sensitive soul, be gentle with him!

[pompomqt]

@journeythroughjourneytothewest

In honor of Wukong bullying him for no real reason, I finally got around to drawing the pigman himself, Zhu Bajie.

[pompomqt]

Journey to the West Chapter 85

Welcome back to this week's chapter of Journey to the West with @journeythroughjourneytothewest. This week we get to see the results of Wukong's hard work as a barber. And we also start a new adventure. So let's get into it shall we?

A bunch of ministers come to the king to inform him that everyone has lost their hair, and that they don't dare slaughter monks anymore. So the king just asks if anyone has anything to say that doesn't have to do with everyone becoming a monk overnight, if not they can all just retire for the day. So the patrol commander walks up and says that last night they recovered a stolen horse and wardrobe, and asks the king what they should do with them. The king asks that the horse and wardrobe be brought before him and opened.

Meanwhile inside the wardrobe Tripitaka is freaking out, but Monkey just tells him to relax and that he already made all the necessary arrangements. In fact, once they open the wardrobe, they'll respect them as their teachers. Sure enough they all tumble out, and Pigsy even startles the commander into giving them their horse back.

The King asks who they are, and Tripitaka, to my surprise tells them the full true story. Turns out Monkey's plan is different then I thought it would be, I thought they were still going to pretend to not be monks, and just use the chaos of everyone suddenly being bald to blend in and sneak out. Instead Monkey changed the kings mind about slaughtering monks.

Why did the king suddenly decide to start slaughtering monks in the first place you may be asking? Because apparently some priests slandered them a while back, so they decided to kill ten thousand of them as a figure of perfection. Yeah... I think I have a new least favorite king, I didn't think anyone was going to surpass the one who wanted to kill over a thousand children, but this one successfully killing almost ten thousand monks over an insult certain takes the cake.

Anyways, Monkey's plan worked, and now that the kingdom has been forcibly transformed into monks, they want Tripitaka to accept them all as his disciples. Which- does Buddhism go by vampire rules? If you convert someone you get them as a servant? Anyways, Pigsy is on board with this, and asks if they have any presentation gifts. The king offers them all the treasures and wealth of their kingdom, but Monkey says just filling out their travel rescript and escorting them out of the kingdom is enough.

So the king fills out their paperwork, and then asks that the pilgrims change the name of their kingdom. Monkey says just switch the 'destroying' in the name to 'honoring' and they will be good to go. So now the Dharma Destroying Kingdom is the Dharma Honoring Kingdom. And with that, the pilgrims are safely escorted out of the kingdom.

Once they are out of earshot, Tripitaka praises Wukong for how he handled the situation, and Sandy asks how he did it. So Monkey tells them all the full story of his adventure last night, and they all have a really good laugh about it. Sadly the good mood is spoiled by an ominous mountain blocking their path. And to add to their troubles, the ominous mountain comes with ominous wind and fog as a bonus. This is enough to freak Tripitaka out, but Monkey isn't to worried about it, but decides to check it out anyways if Tripitaka is really that freaked out about it.

So Monkey has Sandy and Pigsy stay to guard Tripitaka while he flies up to take a look. And sure enough, Tripitaka's spider sense was right on the mark, and there is a demon here causing the wind and fog. Now, Monkey could just strike him dead before he ever knew what hit him, but a sneak attack like that would be the cowards way out and beneath him. Instead, Monkey decides that it's been to long since he's properly harassed Pigsy, and decides to trick him into fighting the monster instead.

So Monkey makes his way back to the group, and instead of telling them about the demon says there is a village up ahead preparing food to feed monks. The word 'food' is enough to have Pigsy pulling Monkey to the side and asking him if he ate while there. Monkey says the food isn't really to his taste, but Pigsy still wants to go there to eat. Monkey says he can't just up and leave master to go, but Pigsy says if Monkey doesn't blow his cover he'll be able to come up with an excuse. Which Monkey would of course love to see what he comes up with.

So Pigsy tells Tripitaka that they should feed the horse before they go to the village, so they don't over-impose on the families there by expecting them to feed the horse as well. Tripitaka agrees and lets Pigsy go find a place to graze the horse. Before he can leave however, Monkey pulls Pigsy aside and tells him to fix his face, since they only want to feed handsome monks, not ugly ones. Upon hearing this, Pigsy transforms himself into a decent looking monks, and starts walking up the pass.

Anyways sure enough, once Pigsy gets a little ways up the road, he is ambushed by a bunch of minion demons. At first Pigsy reacts by saying there is no need to be pushy, he'll gladly eat from all their houses! The demons however tell Pigsy that they aren't going to feed him, he's the meal. Of course Pigsy is no genius, but luckily it doesn't take a genius to know that Monkey set him up. So he begins cursing him out, before changing back into his true form to fight off the demons. And since they are just minion demon's, and Pigsy is actually a decent fighter, he does manage to send them running back to their master with just a few swipes of his rake.

The minion demons tattle to their king about how the monk they were planning on eating suddenly transformed into a terrifying monster and started beating them up with his rake. So the demon decides to confront Pigsy for himself and asks who he is, and Pigsy tells him his whole life story. Which might not have been the best move, since now the demon knows he is a disciple of the legendarily delicious Tang Monk, and is more determined then ever to fight him.

Meanwhile, Monkey is snickering behind Tripitaka's back, and when Sandy asks him what he's laughing about, he tells Sandy what he did. Eventually though he decides that Pigsy is taking to long, and decides to check in on him to make sure he hasn't been kidnapped yet. So he places a duplicate to stay standing behind Tripitaka, and then flies up to go check on Pigsy. Pigsy is still fighting, but clearly starting to flag, so Monkey shouts some encouragement, and tells him he's here. Knowing that he has back up, is enough to get Pigsy back to fighting his hardest, and he is actually able beat the demons back and cause them to retreat. Seeing that Pigsy is fine now, Monkey races back and takes the place of the clone he left behind.

Pigsy returns back to camp, victorious, but worn out from the fight, and embarrassed by being tricked by Monkey. Still when Tripitaka asks what's wrong, he tells him that Wukong tricked him into fighting a demon with the promise of food. He also tells him that Monkey came to his aid, however Monkey denies this at first and says he never left his side, which Tripitaka collaborates. Eventually though, Tripitaka asks if there are really fiends in the area, and Wukong tells him the truth, that there are a few minor ones, but that they shouldn't be a problem. Anyways, Monkey encourages Pigsy to lead the way for them, and if the monster shows up and he beats it, he'll get the credit. Pigsy, who after fighting the demon figures they are about the same level, agrees to it.

Meanwhile the demon of the week has gone back to his cave to sulk about missing out on the opportunity to eat Tripitaka, since Pigsy is to powerful. One of the minion demon's chimes in to tell him that the situation is even worse then that, since Pigsy is just one of three powerful disciples guarding the Tang Monk. And while the Sha Monk is about as powerful as Pigsy, the first disciple Sun Wukong, is much more powerful. You know, the one who caused havoc in heaven all those years ago? The Demon asks the minion why he knows so much about him, and it turns out that this little minion used to serve the three great kings at Lion-Camel Ridge.

Still despite knowing first hand how dangerous Wukong can be, the minion still offers the Demon King a plan to seize Tripitaka. First they'll take three minion demon's that know how to shapeshift, and have them copy the appearance of the Demon King. Then, one at a time, they will have the copies engage in battle with the disciples, to draw them away from their master, after which the real Demon King will be able to swoop in and steal him. The Demon King gives the thumbs up to this plan, and says that if it works he will promote him to Vanguard.

As Pigsy is leading the way, the demons activate their plan, the first 'Demon King' to show up is headed off by Pigsy. However, when the second appears, and tries to make a grab for Tripitaka, Monkey assumes that Pigsy just let him escape, and this time he's the one to fight him off. Pigsy and Monkey aren't gone for long however, before the third 'Demon King' tries to make a grab for Tripitaka, this time being headed off by Sandy, and leaving Tripitaka completely alone, with just the horse. And since the horse, despite being a dragon, isn't exactly known for his protection duties, the real Demon King is able to grab Tripitaka from his back unimpeded.

As promised, as soon as the Demon King makes it back to the cave with Tripitaka in tow, he promotes the minion demon to vanguard. The Demon King wants to cook and eat Tripitaka right away, however the vanguard advises he wait. See, if they kill Tripitaka, Sandy and Pigsy might be persuaded to just let it go, but Sun Wukong is liable to bring the whole mountain crashing down on their heads if they eat Tripitaka. Therefore it's safer if they wait for the disciples to stop looking for Tripitaka before they eat him.

So the demons leave Tripitaka tied to a tree in the back gardens to cry about his situation. However, rather unusually, he's not alone this time. Tied to another tree is a woodcutter who was captured by the demon's three days ago. The two commiserate their unfortunate circumstances with each other. Tripitaka telling the woodcutter about how he can't die and leave his mission unfinished, and the woodcutter telling Tripitaka that if he dies there will be no one to care for his aging mother.

While Tripitaka and the Woodcutter are having a good cry together, back at camp, Monkey has defeated the false minion demon and returned to where Tripitaka used to be. Only to find that only the horse and luggage remain. And so the search for Tripitaka once again begins anew.

Current Sun Wukong Stats: Names/Titles: Monkey, The Stone Monkey, The Handsome Monkey King, Sun Wukong (Monkey awakened to the void), Bimawen (Banhorseplague), The Great Sage Equal To Heaven and Pilgrim Sun. Immortality: 5 + 94,000 years Weapon: The Compliant Golden Hooped Rod Abilities: 72 Transformations, Cloud-Somersault, Ability to transform his individual hairs, super strength, Ability to Summon Wind, Water restriction charm, and the ability to change into a huge war form, ability to duplicate his staff, ability to immobilize others, the ability to put others to sleep, and the Fiery eyes and Diamond Pupils, intimidating horses, churning large bodies of water, sleeplessness, seizing the wind, enhanced smell, discerning good and evil within a thousand miles, Spirit Summoning, lock picking, object transformation, distance reduction, vanishing in a flash of light, super healing, transforming others, Invisibility, Wind Immunity, Medicine Making, putting out fire from a distance with a glass of wine, weaving a straw dragon, Body Division and Breathing Fire Demon Kill Count: 10753 + Unknown Number of Minions Human Kill Count: 1039 God's Defeated: 23 + Unknown number Defeats: 8 Crime List: Robbery, Murder, Mass Murder, Arson, Theft, Coercion, Threatening a Government Official, Resisting Arrest, Assault, Forgery, Employee Theft, False Imprisonment, Impersonating a Government Official, Treason, attempted murder, failure to control or report a dangerous fire, desecrating a corpse, breaking and entering, trespassing, violating Tree Law, looting corpses, trading counterfeit goods, criminal threat, animal abuse, Assisting or Instigating Escape, Damage to Religious Property, contaminating a substance for human consumption, Identity Fraud, Disorderly Conduct, Joyriding, unauthorized practice of medicine and Voyeurism Cry Count: 20 + 3 fake cries Mountains Trapped Under: 4

Current Tang Sanzang stats: Names/Titles: River Float, Xuanzang, Tang Sanzang, Tripitaka and the Tang Monk Abilities: Curing Blindness, making branches point a certain direction (allegedly), reciting sutras, pretty privilege, memorization, Heart Sutra, Meditation, Being Heaven's Specialist Little Guy, a Golden Halo and Danger Sense Cry Count: 51 Tight Fillet Spell Uses: 63 Paralyzed by fear: 6 Bandit Problems: 3 Kidnapped by demons: 18 Falling Off Horses: 12

Current Bai Long Ma Stats: Names/Titles: Bai Long Ma (White Dragon Horse), Prince of the Western Ocean, and third prince jade dragon of the dragon king Aorun Abilities: Transforming into a human, a water snake, and a horse, eating a horse in one bite, flight, Magic of Water Restriction, Singing, Sword Dancing and Magic Pee Cry Count: 1 Crime List: Arson, and Grave Disobedience. Contributions to the plot: 4 Kidnapped by demons: 6

Current Zhu Wuneng Stats: Names/Titles: The Marshal of the Heavenly Reeds, Zhu Wuneng (Pig who is aware of ability), Zhu Ganglie, Pigsy, Idiot and Eight Rules. Weapon: Rake Abilities: 36 Transformations, parting water, fighting underwater, cloud soaring, size enhancement, CPR and Shoveling Demon Kill Count/Kill steals: 15 + Unknown number of minions Kidnapped by Demons: 12 Human Kill Count: 1 Failed Flirtation/romances Attempts: 5 Cry Count: 5 Crime List: Sexual Harassment, Murder, Kidnapping, arson, defamation, Damage to Religious Property, contaminating a substance for human consumption, Identity Fraud, Theft, Forcible entry, Disrupting a Funeral, Violating Tree Law and Arson

Current Sha Wujing Stats: Names/Titles: The Curtain-Raising General, Sha Wujing (Sand Aware of Purity), Sandy and Sha Monk Weapon: Monster Taming Staff Abilities: Fighting underwater, Cloud soaring, fetching water from a well, and Conflict De escalation Demon Kill Count: 1 + Unknown number of minions. Kidnapped by Demons: 8 Human Kill Count: 1 Cry Count: 5 Crime List: Breaking a Crystal Cup, murder, desecration of a human corpse, Damage to Religious Property, contaminating a substance for human consumption and Arson

Previous - Masterpost - Next

[pompomqt]

I just came up with a really inconvenient, possibly unplayable four-player game: The Evil Advisor

All you need is a completely normal chess board and a deck of cards that you can somehow divide into an even amount of cards that mean "yes" or "no". Out of the four players, only two need to know how to play chess - those play the role of advisor. The other two play as rulers. At the start of the game, both advisors pull a random card from the deck, which dictates whether their goal is to win the game, or lose it. They keep their respective card, showing it to nobody else.

The rulers, who ultimately choose where to move the pieces, always aim to win the chess game, and also know that the advisor may or may not be on their side, and don't know whether to trust the advisor or not.

If the ruler wins the chess game, they win the whole game. An advisor only wins if they reach their own goal - if an advisor's goal was to lose, but the ruler wins, the advisor loses, and vice versa.

[pompomqt]

PLAGUE! PLAGUE! PLAGUE! PLAGUE!

[pompomqt]

"Do you ever dream of land?" The whale asks the tuna.

"No." Says the tuna, "Do you?"

"I have never seen it." Says the whale, "but deep in my body, I remember it."

"Why do you care," says the tuna, "if you will never see it."

"There are bones in my body built to walk through the forests and the mountains." Says the whale.

"They will disappear." Says the tuna, "one day, your body will forget the forests and the mountains."

"Maybe I don't want to forget," Says the whale, "The forests were once my home."

"I have seen the forests." Whispers the salmon, almost to itself.

"Tell me what you have seen," says the whale.

"The forests spawned me." Says the salmon. "They sent me to the ocean to grow. When I am fat with the bounty of the ocean, I will bring it home."

"Why would the forests seek the bounty of the oceans?" Asks the whale. "They have bounty of their own."

"You forget," says the salmon, "That the oceans were once their home."

[pompomqt]

Journey to the West Chapter 84

The whole city after Sun Wukong has his way with them:

Welcome back to this week's chapter of Journey to the West with @journeythroughjourneytothewest. This week we get to see Wukong pull one of the craziest stunts I've ever seen from him, and that's really saying something. So let's get into it shall we?

So our group is heading west, and travel without incident until summer. Until one summer day, they come across a mysterious old women with a young boy, who has a dire warning for them. In about five miles they will reach the Dharma-Destroying Kingdom, who's king might suck enough to usurp the position of 'World's Worst King' from the guy who wanted to kill a thousand children from their hearts. This king however has, for whatever insane reason, decided to kill 10,000 monks. And in the two years since setting this goal, he has successfully killed 9,996, and just needs four more. Which just so happens to be the exact member of monks in their party. Which makes me think this might be another insane test that the gods have come up with just to screw with Tripitaka and friends.

This theory seems even more likely when the old women and young boy are revealed to be Guanyin and Red Son. After Guanyin tells them they can't bypass the city, she takes her leave. Monkey isn't particularly worried about the situation, after all the kingdom is apparently just full of ordinary humans, however he still has Sandy and Pigsy stand guard over Tripitaka while he flies ahead to investigate the situation and find them a place to stay for the night.

Monkey arrives at the kingdom, and finds that it looks more or less fine. He transforms into a moth to take a closer look, and eventually finds and Inn. And conveniently in that Inn, are some none monk patronages with wearing head wraps, who are looking very rob-able to Monkey. Unfortunately for Monkey, he's not the only thief in the area. And just as he's hatching a plan to take their clothes while they are sleeping, the Inn Proprietor warns them that there are some rouges in the area, so they should be careful with their belongings. So they all decide to hand over their belongings to the proprietor for safe keeping until morning, who proceeds to bring it all over to their place.

While this throws a wrench in Monkey's plan, it doesn't stop it, instead he just follows them home, and waits for them to sleep. Problem is the Proprietor also has a wife and children, who are night owls apparently. Monkey doesn't have the patience to wait for them to sleep, so he throws himself onto the candle to put it out, before transforming into a rat to drag the clothes out. The wife of course immediately starts screaming about a rat spirit, so when Wukong is almost out the door, he yells at the proprietor, not to listen to his wife. That he is actually the Great Sage Equal to Heaven and has to borrow these clothes for his divine mission, but that he'll return them once they are out of the city. Which- he probably could have just explained himself from the beginning, but what fun would that be?

Wukong goes back to the others and tells Tripitaka that in order to pass through the Dharma-Destroying Kingdom, he can't remain a priest. Pigsy asks if they are just supposed to wait half a year for their hair to grow up, but Monkey explains there is no need for that. Instead the plan is to use the garments he stole to disguise themselves as laymen. Then they can ask for lodging and a meal from the Inn, before carefully leaving the city. If they are detained on their way out they can say they have been commissioned by some superior country.

They all agree to the plan and get dressed, though Pigsy has to splice two outfits together to fit. Monkey also points out that they will have to change how they address each other while here. Rather then being 'master and disciples' they are now 'Grand Master Tang, Second Master Sun, Third Master Zhu and Fourth Master Sha.' And if you're wondering 'what about Bai Longma' not to worry, the horse also fits into this espionage mission, and gets a cover story to. Wukong plans to tell everyone that they are horse traders, and Bai Longma is their sample. He'll tell the proprietor, that they are just the advance party, in a group of ten. If they agree to host them, then Wukong will casually perform some alchemy to transform some broken tiles into silver as payment.

They arrive at the Inn, and hear the people who Monkey had just robbed, inside crying about being robbed, which Monkey ignores and asks the proprietor for a room. They are lead into a room, and are served some tea. When questioned by an old women about where they are from, and what merchandise they have, Monkey gives them the elaborate backstory he came up with, and tells her they have one hundred horses to sell. She tells them it's a good thing they chose this Inn to stay in, since they are probably the only ones who could accommodate so many horses. Now that that's out of the way, like a true business woman, time to talk about price! She has three rates with different services to charge them, superior, moderate, and inferior.

The superior accommodations cost five silver pieces per person, and comes with a room, and a grand banquet with a hostess who will drink with them. For moderate, they'll just get a normal dinner and no hostess, which costs two coins per person. For inferior class, they can just eat whatever is left over and make themselves a straw bed on the ground someplace, this will only cost a few pennies. Pigsy is fine with inferior class since it sounds to him like he'll be able to eat his fill of rice and then just nap in front of the fire. Monkey however, isn't worried about the money, and asks for the superior accommodations.

The women is delighted and calls for tea, and for some animals to be slaughtered for fresh meat. At Tripitaka's request however, Monkey stops her from slaying the animals by saying they are on a vegetarian diet. For today only of course! It's not like they are monks or something! Since Monkey is still willing to pay her all the same, the woman is delighted to honor their request and get them a vegetarian meal instead. Monkey also says there is no need to fetch the hostess girls, and then there is a matter of where to sleep. Although they paid for a room, Tripitaka is paranoid that someone might see their bald heads if their caps roll off in their sleep.

So Monkey asks the women if there is somewhere they can sleep that is completely dark, and draft less. The women is worried that she won't be able to accommodate them and might lose their business, but her daughter says she has a large wardrobe trunk that her father made for her, that is large enough to fit seven people. So the women asks Monkey if they would find it acceptable to sleep in the trunk, and Monkey agrees. Everyone piles into the trunk with their belongings, and they have the horse tied to the trunk beside them. After that, Monkey asks for the women to seal them inside, and just open it back up in the morning.

So most of the pilgrims manage to fall asleep in the trunk despite how hot and stuffy it is, but Monkey remains awake, and bored I guess since he immediately decides to cause problems on purpose. So Monkey pinches Pigsy awake and brags about all the imaginary money they have from their horse business. This happens to be overheard by some thieves, who immediately call up their buddies, to rob them. When they arrive at the hotel, they see the wardrobe and horse, and decide that something valuable must be inside. They can't figure out a way to open it here, so they decide to haul it outside of the city so they can break it open.

The rest of the pilgrims wake up and start freaking out about being hauled away, but Monkey wants to let them do what they please for now. After all, they might take them a west and save them some walking. Unfortunately for that though, the thieves actually head east. And even worse, they kill some guards on their way out, which alerts the kings carvery, and scares the thieves into fleeing, abandoning the trunk. The government troops, then take the horse and trunk back to the commanders house so they can talk to the king about how it should be dealt with tomorrow.

Meanwhile inside the trunk Tripitaka is freaking out at Wukong on how doomed they are, since they've basically been delivered right to the evil king's doorstep now. Wukong however just tells him to relax and that he won't let any harm come to him. Monkey then takes out his staff and changes it into a drill, and then drills a small hole in the wardrobe, after which he crawls out as an ant. Once free from the trunk, Monkey makes a bunch of tiny duplicates, and some sleep inducing insects. He then summons the local gods and tells them to lead the tiny pilgrims to anyone within the region with any sort of official rank or appointment, and have them bit by the sleep insects. He then changes his weapon into hundreds and thousands of razor blades, giving one to each tiny monkey and keeping one for himself.

If you saw my meme above then you should know where this is going. Monkey proceeds to have anyone and everyone of importance get their hair shaved off. After he's done, he dismisses the local spirits, reclaims his hair and weapons, and sneaks back into the wardrobe to await the chaos that is sure to follow in the morning. And sure enough, the palace begins to wake, only to find everyone has lost their hair, including the queen and king. The king, rightfully, assumes that everyone in the palace now looking like a monk, probably has to do with his order to kill ten thousand of them. And instead of doing anything to make up for that fact, instead he just issues a gag order to everyone to not mention the sudden hair loss. Can't let the king be criticized for an unrighteous order after all...

Current Sun Wukong Stats: Names/Titles: Monkey, The Stone Monkey, The Handsome Monkey King, Sun Wukong (Monkey awakened to the void), Bimawen (Banhorseplague), The Great Sage Equal To Heaven and Pilgrim Sun. Immortality: 5 + 94,000 years Weapon: The Compliant Golden Hooped Rod Abilities: 72 Transformations, Cloud-Somersault, Ability to transform his individual hairs, super strength, Ability to Summon Wind, Water restriction charm, and the ability to change into a huge war form, ability to duplicate his staff, ability to immobilize others, the ability to put others to sleep, and the Fiery eyes and Diamond Pupils, intimidating horses, churning large bodies of water, sleeplessness, seizing the wind, enhanced smell, discerning good and evil within a thousand miles, Spirit Summoning, lock picking, object transformation, distance reduction, vanishing in a flash of light, super healing, transforming others, Invisibility, Wind Immunity, Medicine Making, putting out fire from a distance with a glass of wine, weaving a straw dragon, Body Division and Breathing Fire Demon Kill Count: 10753 + Unknown Number of Minions Human Kill Count: 1039 God's Defeated: 23 + Unknown number Defeats: 8 Crime List: Robbery, Murder, Mass Murder, Arson, Theft, Coercion, Threatening a Government Official, Resisting Arrest, Assault, Forgery, Employee Theft, False Imprisonment, Impersonating a Government Official, Treason, attempted murder, failure to control or report a dangerous fire, desecrating a corpse, breaking and entering, trespassing, violating Tree Law, looting corpses, trading counterfeit goods, criminal threat, animal abuse, Assisting or Instigating Escape, Damage to Religious Property, contaminating a substance for human consumption, Identity Fraud, Disorderly Conduct, Joyriding, unauthorized practice of medicine and Voyeurism Cry Count: 20 + 3 fake cries Mountains Trapped Under: 4

Current Tang Sanzang stats: Names/Titles: River Float, Xuanzang, Tang Sanzang, Tripitaka and the Tang Monk Abilities: Curing Blindness, making branches point a certain direction (allegedly), reciting sutras, pretty privilege, memorization, Heart Sutra, Meditation, Being Heaven's Specialist Little Guy, and a Golden Halo Cry Count: 50 Tight Fillet Spell Uses: 63 Paralyzed by fear: 6 Bandit Problems: 3 Kidnapped by demons: 17 Falling Off Horses: 12

Current Bai Long Ma Stats: Names/Titles: Bai Long Ma (White Dragon Horse), Prince of the Western Ocean, and third prince jade dragon of the dragon king Aorun Abilities: Transforming into a human, a water snake, and a horse, eating a horse in one bite, flight, Magic of Water Restriction, Singing, Sword Dancing and Magic Pee Cry Count: 1 Crime List: Arson, and Grave Disobedience. Contributions to the plot: 4 Kidnapped by demons: 6

Current Zhu Wuneng Stats: Names/Titles: The Marshal of the Heavenly Reeds, Zhu Wuneng (Pig who is aware of ability), Zhu Ganglie, Pigsy, Idiot and Eight Rules. Weapon: Rake Abilities: 36 Transformations, parting water, fighting underwater, cloud soaring, size enhancement, CPR and Shoveling Demon Kill Count/Kill steals: 15 + Unknown number of minions Kidnapped by Demons: 12 Human Kill Count: 1 Failed Flirtation/romances Attempts: 5 Cry Count: 5 Crime List: Sexual Harassment, Murder, Kidnapping, arson, defamation, Damage to Religious Property, contaminating a substance for human consumption, Identity Fraud, Theft, Forcible entry, Disrupting a Funeral, Violating Tree Law and Arson

Current Sha Wujing Stats: Names/Titles: The Curtain-Raising General, Sha Wujing (Sand Aware of Purity), Sandy and Sha Monk Weapon: Monster Taming Staff Abilities: Fighting underwater, Cloud soaring, fetching water from a well, and Conflict De escalation Demon Kill Count: 1 + Unknown number of minions. Kidnapped by Demons: 8 Human Kill Count: 1 Cry Count: 5 Crime List: Breaking a Crystal Cup, murder, desecration of a human corpse, Damage to Religious Property, contaminating a substance for human consumption and Arson

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We have an actual word for what's going on with Trump and Mask

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delicate yet deadly

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Kuroshitsuji S5 | Ep10 | You could’ve just left the whole thing to me.