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Y'all gon get this black girl magic today wether y'all like it or not 👸🏿

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Guys really love doing their ladies’ hair… They just don’t want you to know it because you’ll have them do it all the time. And work is, actually involved in doing it. Wheeeeeew!

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hey hey you you i could be your girlfriend

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I finally wrote something and put it on my blog and also got dressed and took photos of it. ALL OF THIS HAPPENED ALL AT THE SAME TIME please pat my back and tell me that I’ve got it together, thanks. 

Outfit details and blog post here

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My body is magical. Every hill and valley. Every dip and turn. Every bump & roll. Pure intergalactic magic 👽☄✨

Photography|Taylor Giavasis for The Naked Diaries

(NOT FOR BBW BLOGS)

{thebutterflyeffect]

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Fat people have passionate and satisfying sexual relationships! Fat sex is amazing and sexy and fun! Fat people are sexy.

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be patient with yourself

be patient with yourself

be patient with yourself

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a love so big it’s spooky 💀

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Full article out soon!

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Betsey is back with another one! 

POPUP PLUS PRESENTS: Betsey’s Advice Column

⛔️Don’T Date Baby Daddies🆘

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Fireworks & Korean BBQ;

I'd been using OkCupid on and off for months. I have a pretty face and would get some really good prospects but nothing would come of it. Most of the time I battled the fear of disappointment when they met me or I'm never that desperate to settle.

 Finally, I found a genuine guy. He was Asian. I am black. I am not sure if that really has anything to do with the anything but it paints a great picture. Now, the conversation wasn't amazing but I really was not trying to find a husband on there. I was not even looking for a boyfriend. I just wanted someone to take me out on a decent date and I wanted to get laid. Is that so hard to believe?

 Anyway, let's get back to Asian guy. Let's call him Mr. Kim (I hope that isn't offensive to anyone, I truly do not remember his name. But I do remember he is Korean). It was tolerable conversation and he had a good job so I figured he could afford a more than mediocre dinner. We set up a date for the holiday weekend which was July 4th and it fell on a Monday this year. I am not a fireworks girl so we decided to make plans to have dinner.

Getting dressed for a date is always a hassle when you're fat because I want Mr.Kim to find me attractive enough to want to have sex with me.( I think I've just set women back 20 years with that statement) In the end I choose a brown wrap dress that matched my complexion and would highlight some of my best assets *cough cough* my boobs, and would give the illusion my stomach isn't that big.

 Now my biggest debate is whether or not to put on a shaper. There is so much skills and 007 moves involved in getting a shaper off if the night leads to sex. I was up for the challenge, I wore the shaper.

 I arrived first in Ktown, across the street from the Manhattan Mall in NYC. There are always these butterflies dancing at the pit of my stomach when I'm anticipating something new. Finally, he arrived and didn't seem too disappointed with what he saw. What a relief? I think it's the boobs. He takes me to Miss Korea, a very posh and expensive Korean restaurant. I can feel the stares as we enter. A full figured black woman and a good looking Asian man.

 We are seated. What should I order? This is expensive. I impress him with my knowledge of Korean cuisine and we proceed to engage in some good conversation. Dinner goes on and all I can think about is how I can get him back to his place so we can do the damn thing.

 We leave and he suggest a movie. I say there's nothing out that I want to see. He suggest we go back to his place and watch the Macy's fireworks show on tv. I smile, there we go. We take the A train to his place and the smooth gentleman he is, he buys wine and ice cream.

 His roommate isn't home and we have the place to ourselves. He pours us wine and I sit in his arms while I pretend to watch tv. Let's back up a bit, I actually took my shaper off already. How you ask? Well, I asked him to use his bathroom while he was pouring wine and took it off. Here's my 007 skills: I couldn't walk through his place with a shaper in my hands so I balled it up and put it between my legs, awkwardly walked back to my bag and slide it in when he turned his back. Now that's one for the story books.

 We're on his couch, the room is dark and only the lights are from the tv as we're drinking wine. He turns to me and kisses me hard. This is it! This is what I've been waiting for and he wants me. He stops and tells me he plays music. I pretend to recall. Just kiss me. But he unwraps from my arms and gets his guitar.

What is he about to do? When I tell you he stops in the middle of the room and starts playing a cord. He ask me if I know what it is. I was so lost in the ecstasy of almost sex, I shook my head no. He starts singing an usher song, need you bad. I am not even kidding. I was so lost that the image of a 5'7 Asian man playing a guitar, singing usher on the 4th of July as I am sitting on his couch ready to give him the keys to the kingdom went totally over my head.

After he serenades me, I throw myself if him when he sits back down as a token of gratitude for the mini concert. Nice gesture, but I could care less I just wanted to let my kitty out for a walk. We end up in his room.

It's dark. I prefer it this way. Some days I don't have the confidence it takes to overcome the fears of having sex with the light on. I take of my dress and he descends to my breast as I stroke his penis. Kids play. I'm waiting for more. Facing his bed, he bends me over and enters me from behind. A few pumps in and I need it harder, I want more than this. We change positions and laying down in my back, stomach in ten air and his pulls himself between my legs. A few more pumps. I'm bored. This is boring, vanilla sex.

No joke, he last about 2 more minutes and rolls over me. We are laying there and neither one of us have cummed, much less orgasmed. He tells me he is tired. Are you kidding me? I get up and find my panties. We both get dressed and he calls an uber.

My takeaway from the night. One: bad sex. Two: expensive dinner. Three: mini concert and Four: an uber all the way from Harlem to the Bronx.

Megan, 22, NY

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Niagra Falls

So I was dating this guy for four months. And we went out for drinks and food and decided to head back to his place to "chill." Everyone knows what chilling means, am I right??

So, we get back to his place and we're just laying down cuddling and talking and he starts to rub my back and massage my arms. We were making small talk about life, movies, weather, etc. Then he starts to rub my thighs and his breathing quickens. I wasn't really turned on or anything but I knew where his hands and his mind were headed. So he starts rubbing my Nani (That's what I call IT) through my jeans. And yeah I could feel it, but did it turn me on? No.

We start kissing and he's still rubbing me. And I'm just like really dude, are you going to attempt to unbutton my jeans or should I?  He was definitely a good kisser though. So finally he's pulling my jeans down and then my panties and he starts to massage my Nani again and this time I'm like yes! This feels good. So he starts to open me up and you know it gets deeper. And then he's like " I want to taste you." So I'm like ok. He goes lower and he puts his mouth on it and kisses it and starts to do his thing and it was all good until he starts to moan and groan and talk. " oh my God, you're like niagrafalls baby. Damn, niagrafalls. " so I'm going to assume he's saying I'm extra wet. But still I'm like wtf. So then he starts "damn girl, you taste like fruity pebble, cheerios and skittles. " Granted, I do eat with out of those 3 things so maybe you are what you eat. so right now I'm enjoying the feeling of him but not his talking. He continues to call me niagra falls. Granted, I do eat 1 out of those 3 things so maybe you are what you eat. So he keeps going "shit, Stacy.  Shit." In my head I'm  like what the hell, can you stop talking and just eat. He was throwing my whole aura off. Very annoying .

He keeps his moans his antics and his adlibs. So in the middle of him going "girlllll," I started laughing. He's so into it, he doesn't notice. So I scream his name, not in the sexual way but to get his attention and he looks up and I'm like "it's getting late, I have to go." 

Stacey, 20, NJ

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Curly and curvy

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BITCHHHHHBGFCJCU

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Full Video launches tomorrow!!!

PopUp Plus is excited to announce ✨Curvy Sex Chronicles! ✨It’s our blog series featuring stories from YOU, our PopUp Queens!!

Curvy, fat, giggly, plump, women are sexy! YES, there are people who desire and relish in our fatness as much as we do ourselves.

Have you ever had a dating/sex experience that was so great OR so bad that you just need to share it with everyone? Follow the link to submit your Diary Entry! Your entry could be featured in our series!

No worries, it can be totally anonymous! 🔞Rules and Regulations are on the form🔞! https://goo.gl/forms/eqkIZv3K1ZkEBkV32

Worried your Mama is gonna hear all about your business, no worries, it can be totally anonymous!

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Betsey is back with another one! 

POPUP PLUS PRESENTS: Betsey’s Advice Column

⛔️Don’T Date Baby Daddies🆘

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by; Danyelle Valentin

11/3/2016

Goodbye to seeing a plus size, dark skinned beauty on screen. Goodbye to the hope of seeing a big body survive in Hollywood without eventually shrinking itself. A farewell to the dream of actual body diversity in movies and tv.

From the moment we saw her debut in Precious, Gabourey Sidibe captured America’s attention for better or worse. For me, it was a moment that I thought meant that roles were opening up for little chubby bunnies all over Hollywood. Note: I am the chubby bunny. I had never realized how far back my desire to be an actress went until watching some home movies.  In the video, 10-11 year old Danyelle threw her body in front of the camera and demanded attention. In the video where my two younger sisters and I were playing with our new puppy, while rolling on the floor and pretending I was ‘hunting puppies,’ I said to my director - I mean-  my mother, “Mami, am I a glorious actor?” Emphasis on “-tor.” It’s pretty cringe worthy footage. When the glow of childhood wonder fades and you’re raised with body shame in all aspects of your life, pursuing a career where so much attention is paid to your body mass, rather than actual skill, it seems foolish. How can a person want to perform, to have eyes on themself, when they’ve been told over and over, that their body is wrong. I am always so in awe of people who never hold back and pursue their dreams. Especially women! Eyes fall on them so harshly.

It is truly exhausting to be a fat woman in America. Fat women are expected to just be smothered by depression; made immobile by the shame of having ‘let it come to this.’ If a fat woman is perfectly content in her fat, she is met with aggression,  contention, and accused of promoting an “unhealthy” lifestyle. When we are in fact sad about our bodies, we’re mocked for it. If we decide to actively lose weight, we’re mocked again for having ever been fat or, even worse, told that we need to just be happy with our bodies. Take a second, Recover from that whirlwind. Dizzying, isn’t it? It can be so easy to cave under this pressure and learn to hate your body. Hating is easy. Learning to love yourself is some expert level shit.

Gabourey Sidibe, or just Gabby as her fans (myself included) call her, was never that girl to us. From day one, her weight was dragged by everyone before they even saw if she had any talent. When she proved herself by getting nominated for a damn Oscar, people still were not satisfied. All the while, Gabby was strong. She met all of her body shamers with wit. Watching her handle a hater was like watching a boxing match! They’d swing, she’d dip, catch ‘em in the rib, hit ‘em with the knockout, and dance out of the ring while laughing her infectious giggle. She showed she couldn’t be stopped. To think that she is now going to take up less space on her next movie or tv set, just breaks my heart.

Back in 2010, just after the Golden Globes had aired, radio personality, Robin Quivers, appeared on the Wendy Williams Show to discuss comments she had made on the Howard Stern Show where she and the host joked about what they believed would be Gabby’s short lived success. Hm, How do those words taste now?  Quivers said on Wendy’s show,

“everyone was acting as if [Gabby Sidibe] was now a member of the Hollywood community and we’ll be showering her with parts and everything’s wonderful. [At the Golden Globes] she was sitting to the side of the auditorium in a special seat because she couldn’t even sit in one of the chairs. The young lady has a major problem with weight. An actor’s body is a part of their instrument. You have to be able to fit yourself into a role. [Gabby Sidibe] happened to be perfect for Precious, but how many roles are there like that in Hollywood. That’s the first thing. The second thing is everyone can see she has a major problem and nobody wants to address it. Nobody will say, ‘That was great, it worked out for Precious, but now you really need to take control of your health and get something done.”

Meanwhile Gabby was to host SNL the weekend this Wendy Williams episode aired and Gabby had already been cast for another show. I include this quote because line by line and word by word, Robin Quivers said everything that she should’ve kept to herself  and everything I knew I would hear. On Quiver’s idea that even after being nominated for an Oscar, Gabby was not a member of the Hollywood community. How else could Gabby possibly gain your respect? What is more defining in an actor’s career than an Oscar nod? On her statement that there aren’t many roles out there like Precious to call for actresses that look like Gabby Sidibe, actually, I agree completely. But how is that to fall on Gabby’s shoulders. What it actually speaks to is a desire to minimize fat visibility. And the cherry on top of this cake that I’m going to devour were Quivers’ thoughts on how everyone can see that Gabby has a “major problem with weight” but no one will tell Gabby to get a handle on her weight. Controversial as this is, you cannot see health based on weight. You can’t assume that every fat body is unhealthy because logic would say that all thin bodies are healthy. And! Why do you feel any one has a responsibility to tell Gabby to “get control of [her] health and get something done.” No one has any right to dictate how a person’s body should look. I agree that an actor’s body is part of their instrument. So many actors drag their bodies through hell by losing and gaining weight and muscle for a role. The difference in Quivers’ statement is that she was telling Gabby that her body is wrong to begin with. This was just the perfect example of something fat women face everyday. The concerned citizen just trying to help out by telling us to eat salad and go for a walk.

In her #ThisBody campaign video in collaboration with Lane Bryant, Gabourey Sidibe wears a shirt that says, “This body is made for Magic.” She talks about how her body has never kept her from achieving. After her gaining all of her successes, she says she didn’t know she could do them and, “now that I’ve done it, I know how little insecurities matter...Thank god my insecurities didn’t keep me from being an actor.” She is MAGIC. Whatever journey she takes her body through, for whatever reason, she is free. Her body has never belonged to our eyes. I wonder if Lane Bryant had launched this campaign in 2010, would they have cast Gabourey Sidibe? Did anyone praise Gabby for her body before?

If you’re reading this and thinking I just want Gabby to stay the size she was when she played Precious, you’re missing my point. Regardless of her size and body journey, I will pay to see her movies for forever. What breaks my heart is that all bodies deserve visibility. I could only have hoped that when I was a kid, a genuinely plus sized woman had gotten the attention Gabourey Sidibe received. Her body is one of so few bodies that look like hers in the industry and that has also been so successful. She is not the only shrinking actress. Her Precious Co-Star, Mo’Nique; as well as Jennifer Hudson, Melissa McCarthy, Kirstie Alley just to name a few. Celebrity weight loss is often accompanied with hyped up attention that congratulates each Celebrity for shedding their bodies. For us spectators, watching celebs receive such high praise for looking less ‘gross,’ reinstates the notion that if you don’t fit the American beauty standard, you are wrong. The irony of writing an article that pays so much attention to the actors’ bodies rather than their talent is not lost on me. But visibility matters when it comes to body types, they especially need to be seen in non-stereotypical roles.  It gives people validity. Should we be seeking validation from a television show, hell no, but it doesn’t change the fact that media sources control what we see. When we don't see ourselves, our bodies, our races, it feels like we don't exist to society. So I’ll mourn the loss of a larger body onscreen but I accept another woman for who she is and what she wants. Pop Up Plus will certainly support Gabby Sidibe on all her career goals. It can be so easy to cave under pressure and learn to hate your body. Hating is easy. Learning to love yourself is some expert level shit. She is a woman we can all learn from. Let us all gain the confidence and success that Gabourey Sidibe earned for herself. Most of all, let us hope to ever have the strength to put in the work Gabby has to develop her I know I’m fly personality. Thank you, Gabby!