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Hands Free Cat 2.0

Hands Free Cat 2.0 contains an update that regulates steady purrs while Hands Free Cat 2.0 drapes over your shoulder. Once situated there is minimal clawing for leverage, and you have freedom of movement as long as you don’t bend over. Her little tattoo face is peaking out. You can hear the purrs in between my poor videography.

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To the Ceiling of My Favorite Yoga Studio

From savasana, We watch a hard on The coveted spot Back row friends Giggling, thieves in the thick Kinda like the head of this piped dick

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Savasana Pros

Upward facing cat.  My instructors: yogatos  Savasana pros. 

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“OXO” What?

Words With Friends must get glitchy at this time of year. Almost a year ago, it was trying to tell the future. Now it’s just trying to make me feel better? Or hit on me? “Hugs and kisses. Fuck?” The bots are losing either way

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Little Adventures: Chicken for Breakfast

What’s the most money you’ve ever spent on a meal? Was it worth it? I don’t particularly like chicken, but when the original Kentucky Fried Chicken is just down the mountain, you go. The lodge at Cumberland Falls blew its “continental breakfast” budget on a vat of dried cranberries, crumbled pecans, and diet yogurt. Not a bagel in sight. I was prepared to tough it out for the view, but ABBF…

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Cat Teef

Tiny weird cat teef I am vampire lion cub! Aromatic breath. Roar!!!

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So Catty Purr Usual

Was today typical? All the paws aligned, and I had a very specifically catty couple of days. (I know. Every day is catty here.) Saturday brought another quick cattoo ; this time to support Cat Welfare, Miles’s shelter. “Hey, guys, it’s both your shelters!” It’s actual the shelter’s logo. As always, they were disdainful. “That’s not us.” There’s no pleasing them. The next day was a paint…

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No Plans

What are your future travel plans? I last used my suitcase in June when we went to Cumberland Falls to search for rainbow ghosts. The suitcase has been taken in the feline version of Eminent Domain. Birdie says the suitcase is an amazing bed and has ranked in her Top 3 sleeping spots for the summer. I can’t put it away. I can’t move it. I can’t use it. (Please note that this “amazing bed” is on…

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Got the Beets

What foods would you like to make? My problem, or gift depending, is that I can’t just follow the recipe. For example, ABBF loves plain yellow cake and chocolate icing for his birthday. I’m happy to make it but I really want to sneak some blueberries in there or a layer of Nutella. I did throw some chocolate chips into one cake layer. He was okay with that, but just barely. Typically, I’ll…

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Live Unbothered.

Dogs or cats? Cats. Live unbothered. Every pillow is for you, All naps undisturbed. #badcathaiku

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I Fear For My Plants

Homer is bored. I’m on the computer and everybody else is napping. We are boring, boring, boring! His boredom takes on a pattern. He climbs the shelves. “Look, Ma, the blind kitten climbs!” He fucks with the artwork and then looks to see if I noticed. I did. Most of the artwork around the shelves can survive a fall. No one has seen fit to test that until Homer. He is the reason I need to add…

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Hold the Paw

Napping Bud cuddles Hold the paw, keep connected It was the hind paw.  Birdie is an excellent nap partner.

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Shift Change

Homer being mature. Miles had a blood draw to check kidney values and five million other things that go along with kitty kidney failure. The appointment went well, but it meant he had to fast, take Gabapentin, and had to go on a car ride. All of this is exhausting. When he got home, he had a big (for him) breakfast and passed out. Homer took first cuddling shift. An hour later, Sookie tippy…

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Bunny Batch Hatched!

As a break from the dystopian novel that is America, I bring you tiny bunnies! My batch of buns hatched today. I saw the teeniest fluffball scamper across the patio this morning and plant itself under the lavender bush. I was able to restrain myself from investigating for maybe an hour. Cautiously, I took a stealthy tour of the area and found two barely apple sized youngsters.  The nest…

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Keep Tabs

The neighbor who was allegedly “thinking” about taking Birdie in when she was on the streets lives across the street. She likes to keep tabs on that son of a bitch. Almost thirteen years later, she’s still holding a grudge. Honestly, she probably has a way more luxurious and consistent life here, but there’s no telling her.

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Sun Basting

When sun basting your Butterball Boi turkey, you must remember to rotate.

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Olivia’s Fighting Skills

Olivia Wigglebothum has accepted Homer Tiresias. They’ve shared lap space, spoons of food, and have even been caught with their butts touching when I wake up in the morning. However even good cat buddies sometimes have to demand their own space. Despite the size difference, Olivia usually prevails with her sweet fighting skills. The Bear: Make yourself big as if you were encountering a bear in…