postmanlinksbootyshorts - Tumblr blog

[postmanlinksbootyshorts]

[postmanlinksbootyshorts]

love every trans woman before it's too late, except for this one. show solidarity for transfemmes, except for this one. always have your sisters' backs, except for this one. protect trans women even the ones you don't like, except for this one. support weird and offputting girls, except for this one. don't trust callouts of transfems, except for this one. love trans women, except for this one

[postmanlinksbootyshorts]

been limping all weekend bc my legs are sore, couldn’t remember why. just realized that i was basically doing squats saturday night while drinking

[postmanlinksbootyshorts]

[postmanlinksbootyshorts]

I recently had surgery, and at the time I came home, I had both my cat and one of my grandma's cats staying with me.

- Within hours of surgery, I wake up from a nap to my cat gently sniffing at my incisions with great alarm.

- I was not allowed to shower the first day after surgery, and the cats, seeing that The Large Cat is not observing its cleaning ritual, decided I must be gravely disabled and compensated by licking all the exposed skin on my arms, face, and legs.

- I currently have to sleep with a pillow over my abdomen because my cat insists on climbing on top of me and covering my incisions with her body while I sleep (which is very sweet but not exactly comfortable without the pillow). She also lays across me facing my bedroom door, presumably on guard for attackers who may try to harm me while I'm sleeping and injured.

That's love. 🐈‍⬛🐈❤️

[postmanlinksbootyshorts]

?

[postmanlinksbootyshorts]

remembering the time I called american psycho (a satirical film about toxic masculinity) a dark comedy and the overwhelming response was 'oh so u think men killing sex workers is funny? u think THAT'S funny?' like no I find a patrick batemen listening to 'i'm walking on sunshine', killing jared leto while wearing a clear raincoat and giving a dissertation on huey lewis n the news, using 'I need to return some video tapes' to get out of awkward situations, throwing a hissy fit about business cards, dropping a chainsaw down a flight of stairs, thinking an atm is telling him to feed it cats, and crying hysterically under a desk is funny. but thank u for ur wonderful insight

[postmanlinksbootyshorts]

I don't like giving my dog cigarettes, but it's the only thing he'll trade me for Xanax

[postmanlinksbootyshorts]

[postmanlinksbootyshorts]

wish i could call in bitchy to work

[postmanlinksbootyshorts]

hand hurts from jacking off

[postmanlinksbootyshorts]

The way I make white rice could get your mother out her panties and I mean that.

[postmanlinksbootyshorts]

[postmanlinksbootyshorts]

pamela anderson photographed by petra collins, 2023

[postmanlinksbootyshorts]

I will be 70 years old and I still will never have gotten over the time the Mythbusters used a rocket powered steel wall to - and I use this word as literally as possible - vaporize an entire car into red mist

[postmanlinksbootyshorts]

the funniest dynamc between my boyfriend and i is the chef/baker divide runs so deep. experimentally my boyfriend is a genius with figuring out what flavor profiles will not just taste good together but also will be enjoyed by the specific audience he is cooking for. a recipe is not a guidebook so much as a suggestion and he will frankenstein ideas together to get exactly what he wants to happen. he also didnt know that sugar will not work properly if you dont mix it with the wet ingredients in banana bread and when i asked 'why didnt you do it in the order of the recipe' he said 'i didnt really think it mattered'. autistically i exploded his head in my mind