potka91

[potka91]

[potka91]

I try to live this. Both in not wasting my time where I’m not wanted but also in telling people when they are. Sadly I just come across creepy and they try and run but someday I hope I’ll find another like her who will see some value in a broken man. 

[potka91]

[potka91]

FAH, Fae. I miss you each and every day and wish for nothing more than to hear your voice but one more time. You always said I’d forget you, I always told you that was impossible. Does this prove me right yet? 

[potka91]

Pathetic

Why am I so fucking pathetic? I’m supposed to be doing my homework right now so my friends are leaving me alone (so that I can work on it) and all I can do is sit here hurt that they’re having a conversation that I’m not supposed to be a part of (as if they weren’t allowed to have private conversations). Why the fuck am I such a useless piece of shit human? Why can’t I just get my head in order and accept life for what it actually is or come to terms with my demons? 

Either I’m a good person they want to be around and they’re not excluding me and are just letting me work or I’m a horrible, worthless piece of shit and they want nothing to do with me. Either way there is nothing I can do about it right now so why can’t I just ignore it and move on? Why do I have to always be such a fucking drama king? It’s fucking pathetic and just makes me hate myself even fucking more and trust me, THAT is a fucking fun ride. I mean seriously, what the fuck is WRONG with me? Why am I such a piece of shit? 

[potka91]

Hope is overrated. Hope kept me stagnate as I chased her for 15 years instead of growing and socializing. Yeah, I caught her but at what cost? Hope blinded me and made me think it meant the same thing to her as it did to me. Hope told me that love was enough and let me think that she would stay. Hope said she was interested and that finally something good was happening to me. 

Hope is a knife twisting in your heart ensuring you never have a moment of peace. Hope drowns you in this foul world with promises of it’ll get better, you’re worth it, somebody will care, just keep trying. 

Just have hope. 

[potka91]

[potka91]

I am worth 9 goats. 

http://howmanygoats.com/

[potka91]

[potka91]

Box Of Rain ~ Dead & Company June 16th, 2016 | Riverbend Music Center | Cincinnati, OH

Look out of any window Any morning, any evening, any day Maybe the sun is shining Birds are winging, no rain is falling from a heavy sky What do you want me to do, To do for you to see you through? For this is all a dream we dreamed One afternoon long ago 

Walk out of any doorway Feel your way, feel your way Like the day before Maybe you’ll find direction around some corner Where it’s been waiting to meet you What do you want me to do, To watch for you while you’re sleeping? Well please don’t be surprised When you find me dreaming too

Look into any eyes You find by you, you can see Clear through to another day Maybe been seen before Through other eyes on other days while going home What do you want me to do, To do for you to see you through? It’s all a dream we dreamed One afternoon long ago

Walk into splintered sunlight Inch your way through dead dreams to another land Maybe you’re tired and broken, your tongue is twisted With words half spoken and thoughts unclear What do you want me to do, To do for you to see you through? A box of rain will ease the pain And love will see you through

[potka91]

Honestly this is one of my greatest fears/insecurities. I am /terrible/ at reading people and I always wonder if they actually want me around or are just tolerating me and it’s not like I can ask them as they’d just assure me that’s not the case. 

And I can’t even blame them for it because so many guys would get bent out of shape and possibly violent over it. It’s just a fucked up symptom of this fucked up, disgusting world. 

[potka91]

Me. 

[potka91]

Yeah, and then she told me she has a boyfriend. 

[potka91]

[potka91]

[potka91]

[potka91]