potle-on-chips

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I accidentally recycled my new hiking pole's baskets (cause I thought they were just part of the wrapping) and my dad noticed the one when he dumped my recycling so we had to empty the entire blue recycle bin on our driveway to look for the second. And my phone fell in and I didn't notice so he pulled my phone out (and damaging/losing phones is one of his main pet peeves so he was tilted about the baskets and the phone at this point) and then we finally found the other one at the very bottom and started reloading the bin and I accidentally just threw in my entire recycling bin from my bedroom without thinking and didn't notice and he was so angered he made me go back inside the house and ended up having to clean up the rest of the recycling himself

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Just hiccuped so hard I barfed a little.

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Was building a stove while backpacking and my prof was like “Kate that’s all correct except it’s upside down”. Apparently I built my stove with the burner in the ground and base on top...

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Me: sends prof email with google photos link (since he was in a bunch) 2 weeks ago

Me: submits essay about how I'm gonna stop making small mistakes through his email

Me: thinks, this looks like a different email than I sent last google photos to

Me: re-emails google photo link AAND THEN CHECKS SENT HISTORY

same email address all along🤦🏼‍♀️

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Lul my one profs stance on the textbook was "If you've already bought it you should burn it. The only thing good about it is it's dry enough to light on fire. If you really want one and see someone selling it selling it for 10$, accept their offer but make them pay you 10$ for finally taking it off their hands." And I died laughing

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When I was younger my dad paid me and my friend 1cent per dandelion head we picked cause he thought that would stop them from spreading so much and making the lawn ugly. By the end of the summer we both made 3-4$ so he’d give us “a bonus” and round it up to a 5$ bill. We’d both walk away from the summer like “we rich. Hard work pays off”

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I'm supposed to wear elastics with my retainer but don't (I wear the retainer consistently tho). And he was like "which side do u wear the tighter elastic" right after I had confirmed I wear them every night. And In my head I realized I haven't worn them since I was like 17. And so I just was like "left" as confidently as possible and he was like "just checking😉 some patients pretend they wear them when they don't"

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Me and my friend are bad cooks and in college so when I went to his cabin all I ate for 7 days was toast with peanut butter for breakfast and then plain pasta for lunch and dinner. Got back home today and had a carrot, 2 peices of chicken, and a peach and now I’m just having my ass ripped open by the most explosive and painful shitting possible. I’m just sitting on the toilet in tears debating whether or not to go to the hospital to get what must be the biggest hemoroid of all time stitched back up.

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I just walked upstairs after work. And my mom was like "I got a job" and I was like "yayyyy good job dad!!" Cause he got laid off in March. And my mom was like "no me" and I just sat staring at her cause she hasn't worked a job since before I was born and she hasn't been applying. Finally said "you? Not dad?" And she was like "YES" and I was like "huh how?" And she said she was ordering cake at a bakery for when Ellen's fam comes over and the lady said no one would work cause cerb is better than minimum wage jobs and my mom said "I'll work" and the lady was like "come for an interview Friday" and my mom said she has 0 experience (she's a linguistics major) and the lady's like "I'm desperate"

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I'm watching geog lectures rn and Our prof just used a quote by Stephen Harper our group used in our PowerPoint hahaha. But like he made this video this week so I'm curious if he always uses the quote or if he heard it from us🤔

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My friend Erienne used to do the licking a vagina symbol a lot and when I was in grade 10 I saw her across the pool deck while she was coaching and I was in the hot tub after a teaching shift so I did it and she told me later it’s not a gr8 thing to do at work cause it’s the lesbo symbol.

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Was just minding my own business eating my salad with a spoon watching corner gas while the character Lacey roasted the other guy Hank for eating his salad with a spoon. #cri

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I’m a horrid gift giver AND receiver. Aka don’t let me be your friend.

Alicia has gotten me gifts two years in a row so this year when we were walking through the grocery store a week after her bday I bought one of her items (fruit roll ups) for her and ended up eating 2

Robyn got me a pair of socks which I lost within 4h and I haven't seen them since

Christian got me 3 things and organized everything and for his bday I gave him a 10min FaceTime at 11pm.

Adrianna got me the nicest pens ever and I forgot to even text her.

Brooke got me a mug but I received it almost two months late cause I’m too shit to make time to see her

Jia Xuan got me fake poop but it took me forever to send her a pic of it cause I had to steal it from the trash my dad through it in cause he thought the smell would give me cancer.

Ben got me a hoodie I wear all the time in return for a haskayne shirt he wears never. That’s the only time I’ve done soemthing mostly nice Ever!

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Does anyone else cry everytime they finish watching a comedy show because they miss the characters already? Like I feel like I have a real bond with these ppl and I’m loosing those I have grown the closest to

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My mom bought some grass from the farmers market last week and I’ve been eating it cause I thought it was food. I’ve also been having serious stomach problems and headaches and shivers and the symptoms were similar to corona but not quite so we were pretty sure it wasn’t but also concerned. Had to completely quarantine myself just in case. Stopped eating the grass and all my symptoms cleared up within 24h. Turned out the grass was actually supposed to be a fuckin house plant. Why am I so dumb? I’ve literally become a rabbit.

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I’m resigning from the outside. Just stepped in dog crap wearing my white crocs

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This will be the first and last time I order a meatball sub with cucumber (as my only topping). #rAgret