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poutyooniee · 3 years

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UA traitor

And that traitor is Aoyama Yuga.

Aoyama is kind, a little cowardly, but still a brave boy who wants to be like all his peers. He wants to shine! And after Kamino, after settling into a dormitory, after passing the exam for a temporary Hero's license, Aoyama revealed himself to us as a really interesting character, a young man who was really lonely, but who wanted to be with his classmates and be “his own” in this company. He wanted to have friends and enjoy the school hero life.

His first friend is Midoriya Izuku. (I don't want to repeat myself, so please read these notes: Deep Water, Traitor, Dream (the last part of the article). And we see how for a long time Yuuga and Izuku have been building friendly relations with each other: they are neighbors, when Izuku's quirk was activated in chapter 193, Yuuga ran to check on him; or when during a Cultural Festival Yuuga was worried about Izuku being late, and then helped him prepare for a performance; or at common evenings they sit next to each other and communicate. These two are really close and worried about each other.

However, something changed with the jailbreak of Tartarus. Aoyama Yuuga became nervous and fearful. When the guys decided what they would do and how to look for-to return Midoriya back, Aoyama suggested leaving everything to Adults, professionals. Do you see how his bubble with the text is shaking? Why is he nervous? Why does he not want to participate in the “rescue of Midoriya Izuku” - his dear friend, whom he himself wanted to be friends with, whom he worried and cared about?

But in any case, he took part in this rescue operation, and ran along with Hagakure and Kirishima, and when Kirishima said “I have something to say”, he just said “oui”. But he. He didn't say anything to Izuku, he was standing far away from him, not daring to approach. All the guys from the class said something to Izuku, only Aoyama was silent (even Hagakure asked how the guys were feeling after landing.)

And then we see several panels where he keeps to the side and carefully avoids being near Izuku. And it looks very interesting, especially at the moment when Hagakure talks about the “cool defense of the UA barrier”. He has his back turned to us and to Izuku all the time, we don't see his face at this moment.

Why isn't Aoyama happy? Why didn't he talk to Izuku? Why didn't he want Izuku to return to UA?

Because he - as a traitor - will now need to let the villains inside the UA Barrier or in some other way contribute to the fact that Izuku was handed over to Afo.

It is also worth noting that at the closed exhibition held this spring, there was a very interesting illustration that symbolizes a sense of guilt. Why should Aoyama blame himself? Take a closer look at this illustration.

He is sitting on boxes near the opening doors, from where the monster is crawling, and bottles are scattered around, there are some gas(?) cylinders, some things. Can this tell us that this is an allusion to some kind of storage room, where there is a secret entrance, and since now the UA resembles a fortress ready for a siege, then this room is one of its weak points? After all, things and provisions in case of a siege must somehow arrive (I'm thinking about underground communications) and be stored somewhere. And Aoyama will be the one who will be the gap in the UA Barrier.

He avoids his dear friend, he keeps away from everyone, and he feels guilty. Why? Because he is the Traitor on behalf of All For One.

And this was also hinted to us on the spine of the cover for volume 10: usually a smiling and beaming boy, looking for recognition, looks nervously to the side. For the volume is called “All For One”.

And if Aoyama Yuuga is really a traitor, then we are waiting for a heartbreaking drama between him and Izuku, whom Yuuga will betray first, and then sacrifice himself for him. After all, he just wanted to be like everyone else and shine.

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poutyooniee · 3 years

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So, I’m a little late (we had a covid scare, turned out to be nothing but kept me from getting uploaded on time) but here is my TDDK big bang piece!

It’s a companion to hellobeautiful’s fic which you can read here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24726232 (Warning: e-content ahead)

It was a lot of fun to work on (even if I’m not totally happy with it :P)

(edit cause I forgot)

@tododekubigbang

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poutyooniee · 3 years

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Made some fanart for @pinalinet ‘s fanfic! Its suuuuuuuper cute, you should check it out!

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poutyooniee · 3 years

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Why this happens is up to you I guess

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poutyooniee · 3 years

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tododeku + the third from the bottom

like “the walk in the freezer is warmer than the hollow part where my heart should be in”

*******

It’s the same dream again.

He’s running, giggling, his hands smaller and chubbier and pushed out in front of him for balance. There’s the pitter-patter of his bare feet as he rustles along, the wood of the floor pleasantly warm against his heels.

Hallways upon hallways he passes by, rooms and rooms echoing sounds of laughter. The bright lights upon the wooden ceeling beckon him onwards.

And then he gets tired. His pace grows slower, his small hands shake, the bright light dims, turns a menacing red. The sound of laughter fades and in its place, quiet sobs fill the halls.

Some voices are familiar; his mothers muffled voice, the way he’d hear it when she hid her crying with the palm of her hand; his fathers strict commands, the hint of disappointment in his tone; always there no matter his best efforts, a resonant sting in his ears, along his cheeks.

And the hallway stops.

In front of him stands a door, tall, foreboding danger behind the dark wood.

He tries to turn back and runaway but he can’t. His feet beckon him closer, he stands on his tiptoes, tugging at the handles; and he’s inside.

The dream feels blurry after that. There’s a face, a pair of fists clenched and shaking and so much bigger than his little hands. A boiling kettle; a wheezing; and then pain, hot and searing and covering half his face, a scream so gutteral he doesn’t realise it’s his at first, he looks down to his hands and there’s blisters but he can’t see them, an entire side of his vision gone painstakingly and-

And he wakes up. Cold sweat runs down his temples, cumulstes at the curve of his chin. His arms shake violently and he does his best to place one palm over the other in an attempt to still it. He breathes, deep, once, twice.

Yet the feeling never goes away, not fully. Half of his face feels flushed, the other freezes. He’s learnt to live with it, to cope with it, but sometimes it still hurts.

Sometimes existing the way he does hurts him more than anything else could.

Todoroki sighs into his shaky palms, lets his eyes fall shut for a moment before he shuffles out of his bed.

He doesn’t bother to look at the time. With the darkness in his room and the stillness outside his door, he figures its bound to be some hellish hour of the night.

Slow steps take him out of his room, mindful of the quiet as he walks down the hall, even the sound of his breath feels loud, suffocating.

He’s by the kitchen sink when he hears it, the soft gasp muffled behind the running tap water.

“Shouto?”

He doesn’t need to turn around to know who’s calling his name like that, so gently, as if by just the sound alone he’d crumble.

His hands clench at the counters edges, his head ducked in defeat. A green flurry invades his vision, a familiar warmth clasps his shoulder.

“Hey, it’s so late-why are you up?”

Shouto sighed. Did he trust his voice to speak? Would the words come out right, come out enough to not put a frown on the boy’s face?

He dared to turn to Midoryia, to look at his face and the way his brows furrowed. He allowed himself to feel the warm hand that rubbed circled at his back, found comfort in the repetitive movement.

“Hey..hey, it’s okay. You don’t have to speak if you don’t want to, let’s just-let’s go sit down for a bit okay?”

Shouto nodded, allowed Midoryia to gently nudge him away from the counter and towards the dorms’ couches.

He flooped down onto the cushions, felt the dip as Midoryia sat beside him, a hand working its way around his, interlocking their fingers.

Did he deserve this?

This love, this care?

Should he dare allow himself to embrace the way Midoryia loves him, the way he shyly told Shouto about his feelings, his face when they finally became a couple?

Everytime Midoryia touches him his skin comes ablaze, even the coldness of his half side, the other half a cosy wamrth that spreads inwards to his chest and seeps between his ribs.

Does he deserve this? Does the warmth seeping to his hollow chest belong to him, or is he merely borrowing it, playing with another child’s toy to make up for what he lacks, what he can’t have?

Midoryia’s hands ground him back to the present, squeeze at his palm reassuringly.

Green eyes find his in the dark, beckoning him to speak without saying a word.

“I keep thinking…” he started, turning his face away from Midoryia. He focused his gaze on the big dark windows, noticing how the breeze made shadows flinch and sway between the trees.

Midoryia kept quiet, let him carry on at his own pace.

“I don’t know-I don’t know what my heart is made out of.”

Midoryia cocked his head.

“We’ll be sitting next to each other, just like this, and I’ll feel warm, right here” he placed a palm over his chest, fingers extending over his shirt, “and when we’re in class it’ll be gone but it’s still not empty, it feels like something in here is thudding and living”, he clenched the fist over his chest, mimicked the way his heart would beat by clenching and relaxing his closed fist.

“But then night comes and I’m alone again. And it’s empty. Here, there’s nothing. A walk in the freezer is warmer than the hollow part my heart should be in.”

He tries to stabilize his breath and fails, shaky puffs escaping his mouth, wetness betraying his eyes.

“Do I ever feel it? Ever since that boiling warmth, the one that burnt my fave-have I ever felt true warmth? Or am I just faking it, borrowing from you and everyone else around me until it fades away when you leave?”

He let his tears fall freely now, turned to Midoryia with gritted teeth.

His vision never fully recovered on his burnt side. He could make out figures and colours, could barely see bland colours.

But he could see Izuku. He could see the green of his hair, the brightness of his eyes, could anticipate the hand that came up to his cheek, traced the raised scar with gentle marred fingers.

“It’s yours. Even if you borrow it, once you take that warmth, and that joy and love, they’re yours, all yours. And what you do with those, that’s yours to decide too. And I’ll give you all the warmth I’ve got until your heart’s too warm to bear it!”

With that he leaned up, kissed the corner of Shouto’s mouth, ignored the taste of salt and anguish.

Midoryia’d decided he was enough. That this love was his to form, that he was free to mold it into his own and return it back to the person who gave him the world.

He brought a shaky hand up to Midoryia’s face, dared to touch his cheek, feel the radiating warmth, take it in. A spark, it ran its course through his fingertips, into his veins, pulsed into his heart, brought it back to life.

It’s warm, he thought, it’s so warm.

He kissed Izuku, once, twice, thrice for good measure.

He let his lips tug into a small smile, took pleasure in the flush of his boyfriend’s cheeks.

“I’ll borrow it. All your warmth, I’ll take whatever you can give me-and when I make it mine, when it becomes my warmth, I’ll give it all back to you.”

Izuku smiled, and his heart fluttered at the genuine upturn of his mouth.

“Then I’ll look forward to it.”

Shouto nodded.

He’d look forward to returning even a fraction of this love.

Perhaps, he’d already started to.

******

this is 84 yrs late im sOrry ghhh

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poutyooniee · 3 years

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Shouto-kun

summary: It takes Shouto five times to realize why Midoriya calling him by his hero name is special. By the time he first reads his name on that letter, it's too late.

word count: 2548

tags: Tododeku, angst, open ending/no happy ending, one-shot, introspection, Todoroki realizes his feelings

warning: HEAVY SPOILERS UP TO CHAPTER 307/308

also on ao3 and ff.net

---

"Shouto-kun!"

The first time it happens, he's too stunned to say anything back. Shouto pauses, he stares at the teen he considers his first ever friend, now his best friend. Midoriya doesn't seem to realise as he babbles on about the quirk of the villain they just encountered, furiously scribbling into his notebook as he does so. His costume looks dirty, it's torn in multiple places. Not that Shouto’s looks any better. Midoriya looks a bit tired but is in high spirits, the smaller teen genuinely loves going on patrol.

"Shouto-kun?"

It's again the name that startles Shouto and brings back to reality. He lifts his chin. Midoriya looks at him questioningly.

"Shouto-kun, are you coming?"

Of course he calls him that. It's Shouto’s hero name after all, and they’re on patrol during the internship. Shaking his head, the dual quirk wielder catches up to his friend, a grumpy looking Bakugou and deeply focussed Endeavour.

"It's nothing," he quickly shrugs off Midoriya’s frown.

Only that he wished his friend would call him by that name more often, and not just because it's his hero name.

Shouto is confused.

---

"..doroki-kun? Todoroki-kun?"

He frowns at his soba noodles, not hearing his friend's calls.

"Shouto-kun."

It's lower than before, almost as if he's scared speaking the words, and yet Shouto almost jumps at hearing his first name out of Midoriya's mouth. The freckled teen eyes him with worry, a few wrinkles appearing between his brows.

"Todoroki-kun," he begins anew, as if not daring to use the other name once more, and it somehow disappoints Shouto, "are you okay? I mean, I'm sure there's a lot on your mind, we know Endeavour is stable and he'll be able to continue, whatever that means for your family’s future, but you didn't seem entirely comfortable with the others talking about it, which is understandable, of course! But if you don't like it, just tell-"

"Midoriya," he interrupts, "it's fine. It really is." He adds the last part after seeing the wrinkles grow deeper on Midoriya's face. The freckled boy studies him for another few seconds, then finally replaces the frown with a soft expression. A small smile that pierces Shouto’s chest like a knife. He doesn't understand, he doesn't know what it is, but he only dares to clutch his shirt once Midoriya has turned back to his lunch. Shouto stares at his soba, the cold one, his favourite, but he can't eat. All he sees is that warm smile.

---

The third time Midoriya uses his first name he replies, and it's a mistake. He's tired, it's been a long day. He lost - it was a draw, but it still counts as losing to him - the match against class B. His whole team did. They tried everything, but it wasn’t enough. They didn’t have a genius tactician like Yaoyorozu or Midoriya on their team, they had some heavy hitters like Iida and himself, but it still wasn’t enough. Once again Shouto realizes the value of teamwork and a good backup plan. Things they failed to apply correctly today.

"Shouto-kun!" Midoriya calls out to him. Shouto doesn't even see his friend blush and stammering an apology, he doesn't realize it was by accident, he is trapped in his own mind, the match playing on loop in his head. Some moments later his brain seems to catch up and his mouth moves on its own as the name rolls over his lips, "Izuku."

He doesn't realize his mistake at first. Casually withdrawing from his musings Shouto shifts into a better position, his back is starting to hurt, and looks over the backrest of the couch to the other teen.

Midoriya stares at him with wide eyes. There's just a tiny gap between his lips, like he wants to say something, but is too perplexed by whatever just occurred.

Shouto finally notices. His own eyes widen, and he feels his cheeks heat up, it's a miracle he doesn't accidentally set something on fire. "Sorry- I didn't," he starts.

Midoriya blinks a few times, seems to recover, and frantically starts waving his arms in front of his face. The freckles almost disappear in the redness of his blush.

Cute, it strikes Shouto. A word he's never used before, not unless being challenged to do so. He blinks.

"Oh, no, no, it's fine, Todoroki-kun! I called you first! Sorry if it made you feel uncomfortable, I didn't mean to, I just slipped!"

"It doesn't make me feel uncomfortable," Shouto informs him as if it's the most ordinary thing in the world. Midoriya's arms drop.

"Oh, okay. I'm still sorry." He averts his eyes. Shouto can't help but feel like he's done something wrong. After a quick consultation with himself, he decides, "It's fine, I don't mind. Use whatever you're more comfortable with."

Midoriya looks at him with a blank expression that's so unlike himself. Did Shouto overstep? Is there a boundary he isn’t aware of? He's still learning this whole friendship thing, and although he's gotten better, he can't catch up with ten years of experience in just a few months.

Whatever his friend wanted to say back, he doesn't get to say it. Uraraka appears and drags him away laughing, Iida closely on her heels. The class president waves his arms around, but Shouto pays no mind to his words. He turns around to stare at the muted TV, not really caring about whatever cartoon is playing. His mind is preoccupied with other things.

He doesn't see Ashido throw intrigued glances at him from the other couch.

---

The fourth time he doesn't know whether it's an accident, whether Midoriya intended to use his hero name or not. It's an unlucky incident during another heroes versus villains exercise. He and Midoriya are up against Aoyama and Yaoyorozu - he doesn't know how Aoyama will play into this, but the raven-haired girl is a force to be reckoned with. It won't be an easy win, but they do stand a good chance. Midoriya came up with no less than two backup plans, aware Yaoyorozu knows him well enough to prepare counter measurements. They head out, separate, first up is a deceptive manoeuvre. Everything goes according to plan, then the other team counters, it's time for plan B. Shouto takes a deep breath, uses his fire to distract while secretly sending ice across the floor.

Then he hears the yelp. He yanks his head to the left, just in time to see Midoriya to fall off a broken pipe. His teammate tries to latch onto something with the black ribbon-tentacle-tendril-thing he calls black whip, but it's one badly timed attack from Aoyama that reflects off a shiny surface and blinds the falling boy. Shouto hears an unhealthy cracking sound as Midoriya hits another pipe before crashing down.

Shouto blasts himself there in an instant, somehow he makes it in time to catch his friend before he hits the concrete. They still crash, but Shouto protectively holds the other boy in his arms.

Midoriya's head is bleeding. It must hurt judging by the way the green haired teen can barely keep his eyes open. They look a bit dull and unfocussed, it takes a moment for him to even realize it's Shouto who's holding him.

"Sho-Shouto-kun…"

The heterochromatic teen ignores the way his heart misses a beat. He turns around to look at the drone broadcasting the fight, a silent question lingering in his expression.

Aizawa stops the match (Shouto ignores the thought that All Might wouldn't have). It's nothing unusual for students to get injured, the boy in his arms has broken enough bones to prove that, but head injuries have to be taken seriously. Midoriya's fall looked especially terrible.

"Beautiful…"

At first, he thinks it's his imagination. Shouto looks back down at his injured friend who bestows him with a gaze he's never seen from the boy before. His eyes are almost closed and yet they seem full of wonder and… Admiration?

Shouto stares at his own reflection. The flaming red, distorted scar tissue covers a big part of his face. Sometimes he wonders why he can still see, or why he still has an eyebrow. (The thought that it's probably a frost burn and not from the hot water itself is too painful to accept, even after all these years.)

It's unsightly.

Beautiful

Shouto frowns. There is nothing beautiful in that. He doesn't understand why Ashido keeps calling him a snack or where the heart covered letters he sometimes finds in his locker come from. It's hideous. He must have misheard. There is no way Midoriya called him beautiful.

His mother laughs. It's still small and she hides it beneath her hand, but it's music to his ears. So foreign, so new, so nice. She takes his hand and squeezes it, reassures him that he is quite handsome, and she doesn't say that because she's his mother - who believes those words coming out of one's own mother's mouth - and that his scar doesn't change anything about that. If anything, it makes him more special.

Then she tells him to ask Midoriya if he truly meant it, since it's bothering Shouto that much.

His face flushes. Shouto didn't say anything about Midoriya.

---

The fifth and last time, it's during the war. Shigaraki is a monster, and they can't do anything against him, Gigantomachia is breaking free, Dabi - Touya - appears-

The blasts of the blows send Shouto flying like a dry leaf in the wind. His eyes can't keep up. Midoriya is… Midoriya is…

He doesn't seem human anymore. That strength is like nothing Shouto has ever seen before, and he has no doubt that one day his friend will genuinely surpass All Might…

But it's also scary. Terrifying, really. Midoriya keeps breaking his own body, again and again, more and more, he doesn't hear Shouto’s screams. Bakugou gets stabbed, Shouto barely catches his leg while blasting himself around with half his body, his father is already dangling from his other hand, then Midoriya falls and he can't catch him, but he flies in anyway, at least breaking his fall so the damage won't be too bad.

He applies first aid. But Midoriya is so broken, he doesn't know how to fix it. Bakugou is bleeding out. His father isn't moving, and the fight is far from over.

His memory gets blurry. He's suddenly fighting Touya, the brother he believed to be dead for most of his life. Touya is a villain now. He has killed people, and is proud of admitting so, he openly declares that he wants to kill Shouto just to hurt their father-

That's when Midoriya called him by his name again. No honorifics.

"SHOUTO!" His voice breaks, and yet Midoriya continues trying to defend Shouto and Endeavour. He wants to get back up and join the fight no matter how many times Shouto silently pleads him to stay down, he can't see him get any more hurt...

---

Shouto doesn't visit Midoriya. He can't bring himself to. It's something he will later regret more than he can put into words.

First of all, his family is in shambles, even after his mom arrives and they talk, he knows nothing is going to be like before.

Secondly, he feels useless. He couldn't do anything against Shigaraki. He saw his friends get torn apart, receiving life threatening injuries, while he himself only suffered a few burns and will be unable to talk for a while. He couldn't even do anything against Touya - Dabi - whoever the villain is now.

And he swears to himself that he won't be that useless in the future. He will do better, he has to. He has to be the one to stop Dabi. His father is too broken to do so. He can’t look Midoriya in the eyes until his voice is back and he can tell that directly to his best friend.

When suddenly everyone in class receives a personal letter from Midoriya, explaining his situation, Shouto thinks it's just a bad dream. A nightmare. There is no way his friend is stupid enough to leave on his own, even - especially - now that All for One is after him, personally, Midoriya had to know that he can't win on his own…

Shouto stares at the crumpled letter in his fingers. He has read it so many times he's scared it could fall apart the next time he touches it, but he can't keep himself from doing so.

Dear Shouto-kun

Midoriya is gone.

No, he's not gone gone, he's still alive, somewhere out there. Just a few days ago Shouto watched his best friend, the person closest to him, wipe the floor with Muscular as if the high-grade villain was some petty mugger on live TV. All the way back in summer camp, when the days were still warm and his heart was full, Midoriya once again broke every bone in his arms to keep that same villain from hurting a little boy. Two days ago he two-shotted this big villain with the same ease he'd pull out weed.

Shouto lets go of a shaky sigh. He ignores the burning of his eyes.

Please be okay, he thinks, he begs, he prays and he doesn't believe in any gods. Not since his father started beating his mother. But for Midoriya, he will pray.

… it's a power that was passed on to me by All Might…

Shouto doesn't care where it's from. Because Midoriya's power is his own, just like Shouto's fire isn't his father's. And that power, those quirks, it's not what makes Midoriya strong, what makes him a hero. No, Midoriya's strength lies in his character. His selflessness. His caring and soft nature, his kindness, the fierceness he protects those who can't fend for themselves. His bright smile that makes Shouto's heart flutter, his big eyes he can't help but get lost in, his rough hands that help him up whenever Shouto finds himself on the ground.

Shouto finally knows what he saw in Midoriya's eyes that day. It's the same look he's been giving the other teen for a while. The same fond expression he keeps hidden from his classmates whenever he watches the freckled teen do something amazing again.

It's not admiration, it's adoration.

Shouto's skin heats up and a tiny flame flickers on the back of his left hand.

Maybe he should have told him that. Maybe he should have told Midoriya how much he meant to Shouto, how his presence alone made the taller teen's heart speed up, how his mumbling brought a smile to Shouto's lips. Maybe he should have told Midoriya that he wasn't alone, that he didn't care where he got his quirk from, that even if he didn't have one, he would still be the most important person in Shouto's life.

But now it's too late. And deep inside, Shouto knows it won't change anything. Midoriya would have left anyway. He may have left even earlier knowing how much Shouto would give up to help him, how Shouto would sacrifice anything for the other boy.

But it's too late to say that now.

A single, hot tear drops onto his lap.

Shouto hasn't cried since he was five years old.

---

A/N: Thank you so much for reeding! This may get a second part once we're further into the arc, maybe even from Izuku's POV.

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