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[powerexplorer]

My chastity story, part 3

In this post I describe months seven through fourteen of my chastity experience. Parts 1 and 2 can be found in my profile.

My point in sharing some of the details of my journey are to illustrate that reality is not a single erotically captioned photo (though I certainly enjoy some of them). Change takes; time, some mis-steps, lots of communication, patience, persistence, and acceptance.... of each other, of your family, of your lives, and of yourself. Month 1-6 synopsis: my wife @curvykeyholder and I started exploring chastity during a time when we had to live in separate cities, meeting every other weekend for one-night reunions. Initially she left the key with me, and on our private nightly video chats would direct me to unlock, play a little and then lock back up. After a couple of months started keeping the key herself (with me carrying an emergency key in a sealed envelope).

Month 7 we were able to resume living in the same house, except for a few days when one or the other of us had to travel. We maintained our commitment to a nightly video call whenever we could not be together. It took a few months to settle into being with each other nearly every day, @curvykeyholder still had a lower appetite for orgasms than me, so she become comfortable declining my daily offer to 'assist' her orgasm and I became comfortable with her choosing non-sexual pleasure some days.

Of the 16 orgasms I enjoyed during these eight months, 6 were Penis in Vagina, 1 was a 'necessary' masturbation for a sperm count, and 9 were hands-free, in my cage. The hands-free orgasms were 'spills' rather than the forceful ejaculations from masturbation or vaginal sex: 6 were as I was falling asleep; (like a nocturnal emission, usually after servicing @curvykeyholder) and 3 were while I was performing cunnilingus on @curvykeyholder (a very pleasant recent development and my current favorite way to orgasm). 

@curvykeyholder maintained that she would choose Penis In Vagina sex whenever she wanted it, but those opportunities have become less and less frequent. As I have been walking around 'pressurized' the few opportunities @curvykeyholder provided in the past eight months did not last long, I lost control and ejaculated in the first few minutes. The most recent three PIV opportunities lasted well under a minute, which I think @curvykeyholder found amusing, if not sexually satisfying.

I am committed to improving my cunnilingus skills through reading books and practicing whenever @curvykeyholder gives me opportunities to orally pleasure her. Fortunately, she is becoming more comfortable with receiving pleasure from being orally serviced and therefore gives me opportunities to practice!

I had an opportunity to use the 'emergency' key, and I stress that everyone in chastity keep one with them, despite the dent in the kink. We were out of town for the weekend, @curveykeyholder had not brought the main key (why would she?) ...and I ended up in ER. @curvykeyholder retrieved the emergency key from the car, then unlocked me and pocketed the chastity cage as I was putting on the gown. @curvykeyholer is a woman of many talents and is my hero in many ways.

We continue to have our ups and downs sexually, much of the downs driven by my anxiety... being too kinky, too bisexual, too submissive, and/or  too feminine for @curvykeyholder's straight and vanilla taste. Fortunately, she is patient and even keeled; she helps calm my anxieties and we get back to the fun before too much time has passed. That said, she has been growing to enjoy all of my attention to her sexual pleasure; neither of us desire to go back to the 'before' version of sex.

@curvykeyholder,

THANK YOU for continuing to explore ways for me to support your pleasure and happiness!

THANK YOU for the opportunities to pleasure you with my fingers, tongue, lips, and pubic bone.

THANK YOU for making the chastity cage disappear in the Emergency Room.

I hope that you continue to enjoy being my beloved Keyholder!

#locked life #caged chastity #chastity #chastity keyholder #male orgasm denial #permanent denial #permanent chastity #premature

#handsfree_orgasm #HFO

[powerexplorer]

What is it about mountain thunderstorms that cause an urge, and an urgency, to passionate sex?

Or is it just my excuse for wanting to spend the afternoon as Orgasm Assistant to @curvykeyholder ?

[powerexplorer]

I find an apron provides the right balance of protection and visibility while preparing breakfast for @curvykeyholder.

One can make coffee while naked but one should never, I say, never, make bacon while naked!

I 100% agree, Anon!

Coffee is a much safer way to go.

Hugs!

Becca

[powerexplorer]

Well put, as usual @mrs--edge.

Thank you for many months of chastity, tease and denial, @curvykeyholder!

Thank you for your patience with me, open communication, and creativity, to turn my longstanding fantasy kink into something that brings you pleasure.

...and THANK YOU for a few decades of marriage!

It's not about her

It is probably not a surprise that one of the most common questions we get is "How do I get my wife to lock me up? I keep explaining the benefits but she just doesn't get it" or something like that. It's probably because in order for her to get these "benefits" you want constant attention and rewards. It actually becomes more work for her.

There are all these websites and things that have the men convinced that being locked up is "all about her" when really it's obvious that it's "all about your penis". Once that cage goes on most of you are more focused on your dicks than ever. Yes, some men might wash a few dishes but all I hear (or read) is about how often you should be unlocked for "teasing" (a stupid idea in my opinion but that's another subject) or how to earn a come or other things like that.

The reason most of your wives try it out and then give up after a month is because so many of you become insufferable. Wash the dishes and do the laundry first before you ask your wives to try something that makes you more dick focused than ever.

I get a lot of questions about what kind of orgasm or unlocking schedule I had to train my husband. Or how often I allow him to come. Or how often I do... whatever. Look, schedules are not fun. Neither is a husband who is constantly whining about being unlocked. Those of you asking for this do not want a relationship, you want a sexual fantasy.

One of the sexiest things about what my husband I do is that he gave me the control to do this the way that I want. Yes, it went from long term to permanent, and it was totally my decision. The fact that it is difficult for him sometimes is the whole point! And the fact that he does it for me without complaint is what makes me feel powerful and in control.

Stop pretending that it's about her until you can really commit to serving your wives without worrying about what's in it for you.

[powerexplorer]

Thank you for the great advice @mrs--edge!

Thank you for continung to keep me locked and focused on your pleasure for over 10 months @curvykeyholder !

Thank you both for being on tumblr, answering questions and providing a non-fantasy perspective to chastity, tease and denial.

We have particularly enjoyed seeing the teasing exchanges between the two of you.

- 50 yo straight couple, married 30 years, new to chastity (3 mo), though it has been a mong term fantasy for the husband.

Thank you. A couple of years ago my husband practically had to beg me to answer a few questions or leave some comments. 😂

I'm still not totally a fan of some of these pictures and I don't always get why his text is exciting for men to read... but he says it's because I'm not the one locked up. And no, I have no desire to see what the other side is like.

I hope your wife learns to enjoy this as much as I have. It has really brought a nice spark back to our marriage. You can help by not pushing things on her. Just let her move at her own pace and try to do what she enjoys. Remember that you had long time fantasies about this but she probably never even heard of it until you told her.

[powerexplorer]

A very good podcast about... well, kink in the real world.

Nice job: @nice-predator @ms-rebel-heart!

Recording day! 😄💕

Luna (@nice-predator) and I (@ms-rebel-heart) are getting ready to record!

A great way to spend a Friday! ❤️

If you haven't listened to an episode yet, I hope you get a chance to, and if you enjoy it, spread the word about our little podcast! 🥰

[powerexplorer]

My chastity story, part 2 

In this post I describe the first six months of my chastity experience.

My point in sharing some of the details of my journey are to illustrate that reality is not a single erotically captioned photo (though I certainly enjoy some of them). Change takes; time, some mis-steps, lots of communication, patience, persistence, and acceptance.... of each other, of your family, of your lives, and of yourself.

February 26, 2022, I surprised my wife @curvykeyholder with a small key dangling from a 'Key to Happiness' keychain and explained that I had kept myself caged for the past several days to build up sexual energy and excitement. I was exceedingly fortunate that she took the surprise well, despite that we had not talked about how chastity and orgasm denial were arousing to me. That evening we kissed and caressed each other, and she rode my pubic bone while I was still caged, which we both found very erotic. She then unlocked me, slid my penis inside her vagina, and rode to two orgasms. She then offered to let me try to orgasm from on top, both of us silently hoping that two weeks apart, and three the days caged, would enable to me reach orgasm faster, but my problems with Delayed Ejaculation persisted, taking nearly an hour to reach orgasm. As I lay awake afterward, I realized that everything had gone well that evening, and both @curvykeyholder and I had enjoyed sex... until I tried to orgasm.  ...Maybe it was time for me to let go of orgasm. I struggled with the thought of no more daily orgasmic release. Both of us feared that, without a regular release, I would become frustrated, angry, sullen, or short-tempered and I certainly did not want to become a worse husband.

The next morning @curvykeyholder handed me back the key to the cage and we parted again. The next couple of weeks I unlocked the cage and masturbated daily, generally fantasizing about @curvykeyholder riding me to her own orgasms, demanding that I perform cunnilingus on her, or her pegging me, while always denying me orgasms. March 12, 2022 was the last day I masturbated to orgasm; denial was such a turn on for me that that I actually wanted to try it. @curvykeyholder and I discussed the matter that evening, she agreed to take control of when I was allowed to orgasm, and we drafted some basic rules of the agreement. The agreement remains in effect with few changes.

For the first few weeks after starting the agreement @curvykeyholder had me maintain custody of the key since we were in separate cities, with the very clear instruction that I was not allowed to unlock without her explicit direction to do so. Most nights, we would exchange fantasy stories (or add chapters to each other's fantasies), she would instruct me to unlock, stroke my penis until precum dribbled, at that point direct me to stop stimulation, and re-lock. Some nights she would simply say 'I want you to stay caged today'. I was surprised at how much her direction to stay caged aroused me; again I was puzzled by my irrational (and thoroughly submissive) response. I think that this process gave her confidence in giving me instructions and trusting me to follow them. The process also gave me the opportunity to experience actual denial at @curvykeyholder's direction, and build the discipline to ignore my biological urges to keep stroking to completion. I started sending @curvykeyholder nightly emails recapping our call, thanking her for letting me stroke and thanking her for telling me to stop, or thanking her for being strong and telling me to stay caged. Sometime in the 2nd month @curvykeyholder agreed to keep custody of the key and stop allowing me any unlock time when we were apart. The more she explored her power and my reaction to her authority, the more she enjoyed the control. My perception of her also changed; she became more sexually arousing and powerful in my eyes.

On our reunion nights (one weekend every couple of weeks) @curvykeyholder would generally keep me caged while she rode my pubic bone to one or two orgasms (vaginal penetration has been secondary to her sexual satisfaction), then she would unlock me and allow me to try to orgasm for a limited amount of time (eg 5 minutes). In the 3rd month she unlocked me, allowed me to penetrate her, allowed me get to the edge, then told me to withdraw and relock... a true orgasm denial. I was surprised at how natural it was for me to obey her, despite every part of my body telling me to keep going and ejaculate inside her, and how her confident denial aroused me so deeply. I was also surprised at how fulfilling it was for me (as a natural submissive) to obey her, and that she seemed to be enjoying having control of my access to my penis and orgasms. Beginning the 4th month she stopped bothering to unlock me at all during sex. 'Sex' has become generally a pattern of: me caressing @curvykeyholder's body, nibbling her neck, shoulders and ears, while she verbally teases me, until she becomes aroused, then she rides my pubic bone to an orgasm (or two) then she slips off and I caress her gently until she falls asleep in afterglow. Sometimes she instructs me to service her orally in her afterglow (which brings me to the edge of orgasm in itself). 

A quick review of the number of orgasms I was allowed per month illustrates the pattern: 

month 1 = 5 orgasms

month 2 = 5 orgasms

month 3 = 2 orgasms

month 4 = 2 orgasms

month 5 = 1 orgasm

month 6 = 1 orgasm. 

@curvykeyholder had become more arousing to me than she had been in our 30-year relationship... and sexually intimidating. 

Some of our reunion nights @curvykeyholder would not be in the mood for sex, which was hard for me to accept graciously (I became grumpy and sullen). I puzzled at my reactio; either way I was not going to orgasm, why should it matter to me whether or not she had any? I reflected on something Jessa Zimmerman had written in 'Sex Without Stress' ... about the higher drive partner seeking validation from whether or not the couple was having frequent sex, which in my case didn't even involve my own orgasm. I was intellectually aware that @curvykeyholder's choice to have an orgasm, or two, or three, or zero was her choice and I shouldn't use her orgasm quantities as a gauge of my self-worth. I clearly had an opportunity for growth.

Thank you for reading Part 2 of my chastity experience.

Part 3 will cover changes of living together again and months 7 through 12 (to be posted early March 2023).

@curvykeyholder,

THANK YOU for exploring chastity, tease and denial for the last ten months! 

THANK YOU for putting up with my hyperkinetic book reading and queries about what does, and does not work, for you and trying to examine and dissect our sexual desires!

THANK YOU for continuing to explore ways for me to support your pleasure and happiness!

I hope that you continue to enjoy being my beloved Keyholder!

[powerexplorer]

My chastity story, part 1.

In this post I provide the context in which we began exploring chastity.

Sex had become a problem. My wife @curvykeyholder agreed to have sex when she wasn't really interested (out of a feeling of obligation) and I struggled with Delayed Ejaculation (DE). Both of these reduced @curvykeyholder's desire for sex and made me feel broken and unwanted. The DE became a spiral, the longer I took the less she was interested in waiting, the more I could see that she was disconnected, disinterested, and frustrated, the more my confidence eroded ....and the longer it would take for me to complete. While she was able to orgasm in a few minutes by grinding on my pubic bone, it often took me over an hour of pumping to reach orgasm. Sometimes I would just give up when one of us couldn't keep going, which left me frustrated and humiliated. Eventually @curvykeyholder was resigned to obligation sex, and I was in despair and humiliation; it was clear that our sex had to change.

Due to circumstances out of our control, we were living in separate cities at the time; we spent a couple of nights together per month. One of the ways I tried to reduce my ejaculation time was to abstain from the masturbation for the week before reuniting with her. This was more difficult than I expected, having ejaculated nearly every day since puberty. The experiment was not successful; it still took an hour to complete. I fell into self-loathing depression and had thoughts of self-destruction.

I realized that many of my masturbatory fantasies centered on @curvykeyholder having as many orgasms as she wanted while she kept me denied. I talked to her about my fantasies on a couple of our video calls. The paradox was weird to both of us.. why would fantasizing about not ejaculating make me so hot?

I also realized that I really enjoyed almost everything about our reunions. I loved making the arrangements, buying wine, chocolates and her favorite snacks, dressing as sexy for @curvykeyholder as possible, serving her, caressing her, and building up to her orgasms. The thing I hated was my trouble achieving orgasm.

I desired to explore the fantasy of chastity and orgasm denial so read a few books*, and talked to @curvykeyholder about them on our video calls. I researched cages, ordered one, began experimenting wearing it when we were apart. 

February 26, 2022, I arrived to our reunion wearing the cage, nervously surprising her** with a small key dangling from a 'Key to Happiness' keychain.

How would she react to the cage, my offer of  control, to me asking her to deny me?

How would I handle losing freedom to stroke my penis?

Could I really put her sexual fulfillment as primary?

Thank you for reading our story.

Part 2 will cover @curvykeyholder's response and our initial explorations into Chasitity, Tease and Denial.

*Chastity / FLR Books:

'Be Careful What You Wish For' (Sarah Jameson)

'Male Chastity: A Guide for Keyholders' (Lucy Fairborne)

'A KeyHolder's Handbook' (Georgia Ivey Green)

'Chastity, a Guide For Vanilla Wives' (Milyssa Morrisette)

'Key Holder; The True Story of My Female Led Relationship' (Amy Hughs)

'Surrender, Submit, and Serve Her' (Key Barrett)

'Worshipping Your Wife' (Mark Redmond)

**Yes, it was really dumb and cowardly to surprise my wife by wearing a chastity cage rather than talk more about if first. I am not proud of many decisions I have made in my life.

[powerexplorer]

If it was easy for me then it wouldn't be submission. Thank you @curvykeyholder for every day, week, and month you confidently keep me locked while taking your pleasure!

🔥😏🔥🔒🤪

[powerexplorer]

I love giving @curvykeyholder pleasure through obedient and proactive acts of service, food, touch, and sex!

A female led relationship isn’t all about leather and latex, whips and chains it’s about how you treat your submissive not just their body but how you control their mind, it shouldn’t be a chore but should excite both of you. The man or woman should willingly submit to their dominant partner not only whilst playing but in all aspects of life, I know what’s best for both of us and I will be making the decisions it’s up to you as my pet to follow them for your pleasure as well as myself 💋

[powerexplorer]

Actually, I am grateful every day for @curvykeyholder keeping me locked and denied.

[powerexplorer]

I find that this moment... when @curvykeyholder has completed and I am still eager for her to continue... is the moment of truth as a locked husband. It can be difficult to crush my ego and let go of my own arousal and ambitions, but the reward of knowing that @curvykeyholder is satisfied and peacefully resting, while the waves of arousal continue to surge through my body makes me so grateful that she keeps me locked.

It sounds silly, but even at our age I still like to have my husband spoon me at night. And when he nestles his cage into my ass, it feels like he has a nice boner for me. Then he holds me nice and tight against his body, and I fall asleep in 2 minutes. 😊

[powerexplorer]

I love focusing on providing your pleasure @curvykeyholder!

She doesn’t just tell me this often, she makes sure it happens just like she says.

[powerexplorer]

@curvykeyholder I am still very excited to see your naked body! Thank you for keeping me focused on your pleasure! 🔥🔥🔥❤❤❤

[powerexplorer]

@mrs--edge thank you for adding clarity and humanity to chastity and denial.

I think i know the answer to this question but im curious. I remember reading a question that some one asked if you ever feel bad with all the orgasms you get and how Tom gets 0. And you said there's no issue because this is something you both enjoy in different ways. And I know he'll never be inside you again but does that mean he won't have an orgasm for the rest of his life at all? Like not a bday hand job or something like that?

I understand what you are asking, and I do remember writing something about that a while ago, but maybe I can explain it better now.

First, I'm not a domme, and he's not locked because of some kind of punishment. Keeping him locked is fun for both of us, it's a shared fantasy that we have made into a reality. And yes, he does have times when the reality of our situation hits him, but he has always been good about maintaining his composure. And knowing how hard it is for him during those times is part of what makes this so hot. He often says that it would not be so hot if it weren't scary.

Second, he does get orgasms sometimes, but I only allow that to happen in his cage. I do not really understand how it happens, but they happen when we make love. I think that his hips moving when he is wearing his strapon cock fools his brain into thinking that something else is going on. 😂 But I know that he has to be very aroused for it to happen (which is not really a problem, as you might imagine). He can feel it building up, and he has to tell me, and ask permission. I allow him to come that way maybe once every month or two... although recently I made him go 3 months. That was nice.

For me, I enjoy making him come. Who doesn't enjoy watching their partner enjoy themselves? It's hot and sexy for me to know that even at our age I can still get him so worked up. And he says that his brain has been rewired to enjoy coming that way, and as far as I can tell, they are very intense, and he enjoys it very, very much!

One more thing. I do not unlock him for teasing or for any type of sexual touching. That's the "strict permanent" part of what we do. I know it makes it harder for him to not have that to look forward to, but to me, this is very important. I think that if I unlock him to play with him, even if I do not allow him to come, then he will always be focused on his cock or the next time that he will be unlocked. I want him always, 100% focused on Me. When he is affectionate or loving or passionate, then I know that he is that way because he has directed all of his sexual energy into pleasing me, and me alone.

[powerexplorer]

@curvykeyholder I love spooning with you every night! ❤️❤️❤️

[powerexplorer]

Since she has performed the research I trust @mrs--edge rules.