pragmaticheart-blog

[pragmaticheart-blog]

pops back in.  hey so... i got a new computer...  so that’s a thing. 

[pragmaticheart-blog]

curls closer to the blond, burying his nose into his hair.

          he  makes  no  movement  even  as  the  other  shifts.  mornings  —  quiet  ones  such  as  this  —  were  a  rarity.  between  college,  internships,  their  jobs,  &&  just  trying  to  have  decent  social  lives,  neither  of  them  had  time  to  just  spend  laying  around.  but  as  he  feels  jean’s  nose  graze  his  scalp,  armin  finds  himself  unwilling  to  move.  it’s  a  rare  day  when  both  have  the  time  off  from  work.  the  semester  had  just  come  to  a  close  giving  a  break  from  the  heavy  coursework  both  often  dealt  with  giving  them  a  well-earned  break  on  all  fronts.

          the  blond  was  aware  that  they’d  promised  to  actually  get  errands  done,  though.  they  had  to  go  grocery  shopping,  had  to  take  jean’s  car  in  for  inspection,  needed  to  stop  to  grab  ronan’s  flea  medicine.  but  as  the  warmth  of  the  other  sinks  fully  into  his  bones,  armin  realizes  he  doesn’t  want  to  move.  he’d  rather  stay  right  where  he  is  than  do  anything  else.

          with  a  sigh,  he  shifts,  pressing  his  face  into  the  side  of  his  boyfriend’s  neck  as  he  sinks  further  into  his  arms.  the  comforter  was  pulled  up  to  jean’s  shoulders  at  some  point  meaning  that  now  only  a  tuft  of  blond  would  be  visible  if  anyone  were  to  look  at  the  bed  now.  his  lips  tug  into  a  smile  at  the  thought,  one  arm  shifting  to  drape  across  the  other’s  waist  as  he  gets  comfortable  once  more.

          ❛  ‘ve  decided  we’re  staying  in.  ❜  his  voice  is  low,  rough  from  lack  of  use.  he’s  only  glad  the  apartment  is  quiet  so  he  can  be  heard.  ❛  to  hell  with  being  an  adult  today.  ❜

          armin  feels  the  brunet’s  chest  shake,  breath  brushing  down  his  neck  as  jean  exhales  a  laugh,  a  soft  agreement  muttered  against  his  hair.  his  smile  only  widens,  one  leg  swinging  over  the  other’s  hip  so  he’s  trapped  where  he  lay  by  both  arm  &&  leg  (  not  that  the  blond  thinks  his  boyfriend  really  wants  to  leave  ).

          quiet  settles  once  more.  his  eyelids  flutter  shut,  too  heavy  to  keep  open.  it’s  only  moments  before  the  darkness  takes  him  into  its  depths.  the  last  thing  he  registers  is  jean’s  arms  tightening  around  him  as  he  presses  his  lips  to  his  forhead.

// @pragmaticheart​

[pragmaticheart-blog]

THOSE FOREHEAD TOUCHES WHERE THE PERSON GRABS THE BACK OF YOUR NECK TO ANCHOR YOU IN PLACE ARE SO IMPORTANT.

[pragmaticheart-blog]

(ɔ ˘⌣˘)˘⌣˘ c)

the taller is slightly shocked when arms curl about him, but honestly he’s far more interested in why. a hand curls about the back of the blond’s head for a moment allowing Armin to do as he pleased. “ you okay, Armin? “ there is concern that tinges the edge of his tone, genuine and all consuming. 

[pragmaticheart-blog]

Send (ɔ ˘⌣˘)˘⌣˘ c) to give my muse a big hug!

[pragmaticheart-blog]

rumor has it you are a nerd :/

“ how could you !? “

[pragmaticheart-blog]

he’s got a heart so pure, i bet he has flowers growing between his ribs

[pragmaticheart-blog]

Send “Rumor has it...” And a rumor about my muse

[pragmaticheart-blog]

XOXO ♥

[pragmaticheart-blog]

Anti-honesty hour. Ask my muse a question and they will respond with a blatant lie.

[pragmaticheart-blog]

' did you just lick me ? ' // because there was that one time jean did that :/

“ i -- it was a dare ! “

[pragmaticheart-blog]

Send ‘I licked it, so it’s mine’ for my muse’s response to yours licking them and saying that.

alternatively, send ‘Did you just lick me?’ for my muse to lick yours and say that.

[pragmaticheart-blog]

curiositybred: 

          it’s  silly  to  be  worried  about  something  so  simple.  he  shouldn’t  be  worried  about  merely  spending  time  with  someone  he  cares  about.  yet  he  knows  deep  down  that  he  cares  for  jean  in  a  way  he  cares  for  no  one  else.  the  hand  in  his  feels  heavy,  a  weight  he’d  never  imagined  having  in  his  grasp.  how  odd  to  allow  himself  to  have  such  a  simple  pleasure.  he  was  afraid  any  moment  something  was  going  to  go  wrong.  that  someone  would  find  them  &&  break  the  atmosphere.  if  that  happened  he  knew  they  might  never  have  a  chance  to  work  this  thing  between  them  out.

          the  yawn  behind  him  pulls  his  lips  into  a  smile.  the  other  truly  was  tired.  more  so  than  armin  thinks  he  even  knew.  for  a  moment  he  wonders  if  the  affection  was  purely  due  to  his  exhaustion  but  the  blond  also  knew  that  jean  could  be  affectionate  towards  him  even  when  he  wasn’t  about  to  fall  asleep  the  moment  his  head  hit  the  pillow.

          their  room  wasn’t  far  from  where  they’d  been  sitting  shortly  before.  for  once,  he  was  glad  jean  was  his  roommate  &&  that  eren  slept  in  the  basement.  sure,  he’d  shown  he  was  no  longer  a  danger  to  those  around  him.  but  he’d  also  grown  used  to  living  down  there.  especially  if  he  did  accidentally trigger  a  shift  in  the  midst  of  the  night.

          armin  let’s  go  of  jean’s  hand  briefly  to  tug  his  jacket  off.  it’s  thrown  over  the  chair  to  his  desk  in  the  room  before  his  boots  are  pulled  off  &&  placed  there  as  well.  then  he  pauses,  brows  furrowing  slightly  as  he  looks  up  at  the  other.

          ❛  i  —  truthfully,  i  have  no  idea  where  to  go  from  here.  ❜  usually  they  both  climbed  into  their  respective  bunks  to  sleep  with  quick  ‘goodnight’s  spoken.  now  they  would  have  to  choose  which  bed  they  were  going  to  sleep  in.  his  lower  lip  gets  caught  between  his  teeth  as  he  gnaws  on  it.  then  he  looks  at  jean  as  if  to  say  ‘your  move’.

panic. brief and all consuming. it flashes through him like wildfire looking at the other. the momentary fear that Armin hadn't after all meant that he wanted to lay together. a stupid hope of his own that he seemed to have projected onto the situation. the blond had only said that they should go and lay down. there was no mention of it being in the same bed. or hell even in the same room. sure they shared lodgings, but that was hardly something that was permentent and unchanging. at any moment either of them could meet their end. either of them could have a change of heart and wish to lodge with someone else.

it was purely his own desires that had left him convinced that Armin had wanted to share a bed with him on this night. amber eyes are wide as they stare at the blond for a long moment. clearly it was his turn to take charge, yet he finds himself completely unsure of what to do. a flicker of annoyance builds in his chest. at himself more than anything else. why couldn't he just accept that the other boy was out of his reach?

when the other speaks, Jean doesn't know if he wants the floor to swallow him or for a titan to rip the roof off and devour him. all he knows is that he feels as though he might vomit.

yet then lip is trapped behind teeth and he's fully reminded why he has never given up on the blond before him. they were children playing adult. tossed into a war and expected to accept their fate without a peep. and currently, the taller couldn't care less about the titans. or the war they were fighting. anything but the boy before him biting his lip. what he wouldn't give to have the freedom to kiss his friend without hesitation.

" we --- we don't have to do a-anything you don't want to... " his voice is quiet, unsure if he wants the other to hear him. " we --- we can just go to bed like normal. " he hates how obvious the nerves are in his voice. how easily Armin will likely pick up on them. what he wouldn't give whatever higher power to not be terrified of upsetting or hurting the blond.

[pragmaticheart-blog]

curiositybred:

          for  a  moment  he  thinks  perhaps  he’s  been  reading  signals  wrong.  it  made  no  sense  to  him  if  he  had,  but  he  could  have  been  making  things  out  to  be  something  other  than  what  they  were.  he  opens  his  mouth  to  tell  jean  he  could  forget  what  he  said.  but  it  snaps  shut  the  moment  the  other  speaks.  so  he  had  been  right.  no  signals  had  been  read  wrong  or  mixed  up.  that  was  a  relief.  yet  he  still  sense  hesitation  on  the  part  of  the  other.  as  the  hand  underneath  his  moves  to  squeeze  his  in  return  he  realizes  he  has  to  take  the  lead.

          his  heart  flutters  against  his  rib cage  as  he  pulls  himself  into  a  standing  position.  his  hand  still  holds  onto  jean’s  &&  with  it  he  pulls  the  man  up  with  him.  a  readjustment  of  their  hands  is  necessary  so  that  armin  can  properly  lace  their  fingers  together.  it  feels  odd  to  openly  be  holding  the  other’s  hand  in  his  own.  he  takes  a  moment  to  take  in  how  warm  his  skin  feels  against  his  own,  how  his  hand  is  larger  &&  wraps  around  his  smaller  one.

          biting  his  lip,  he  gently  tugs  jean  along  behind  him  towards  the  room  they  bunk  in.  at  this  point  he  doesn’t  care  about  explaining  things  to  the  others.  that  could  wait  for  tomorrow.

he hadn’t meant to upset the other. but the relief that washes over the blond is almost palpable. he’d momentarily made the other question everything. when he is tugged out of his seat, he wobbles slightly before steadying himself. the moment they’re moving the taller crowds into the other’s space. not enough to make it hard to walk. just enough to sate the need that had driven him to curl about the smaller boy in the first place. and it hadn’t been just exhaustion that seemed bone deep these days. 

stifling a yawn as he follows the other, he wonders monetarily where they’re going. it was unlikely that they’d end up somewhere that anyone could easily stumble upon them. he knew that Armin was no where near ready for something like that. he was still shocked and awed by the fact that this was happening at all. 

death was around every corner for them. every day brought new chances to meet their own demise. children thrown into a war far older than anyone could even recall. a part of Jean wondered what life would be like without the constant need to defend themselves. to fight and slaughter. yet he knows that he would never have become the person that he is now if he hadn’t gone through every experience that he had in the Corps. 

and yet somehow he still managed to feel guilty for wanting something normal. something that every teenager seemed to indulge in. every teenager outside those who faced titans head on. and even then Jean wasn’t blind, he could see things budding waiting to bloom. a different sort of jealousy welling in his chest. one that didn’t make him angry. quiet the opposite, really. 

could anyone blame them for wanting to experience everything in the time they had left? 

[pragmaticheart-blog]

curiositybred:

          most  would  think  that  merely  laying  with  one  another,  wrapped  in  each  other’s  arms  was  a  simple  thing.  but  for  armin  it  showed  trust.  it  was  also  something  intimate  for  the  blond.  it  was  where  he  let  himself  stop  thinking,  stop  overthinking  the  situation.

          he  trusted  jean.  that  was  without  saying.  while  the  two  hadn’t  been  anything  more  than  trainees  together  at  the  start  of  their  adventures,  now  they  were  almost  inseparable,  both  out  in  the  field  &&  in  their  off  time.  swallowing,  he  moves  his  fingers,  nudging  them  through  the  other’s  so  they  are  laced  together.  he  curls  them  more  than  usual  to  make  sure  they  tightly  hold  on.  armin  wants  there  to  be  no  question  as  to  how  he  feels  about  all  of  this.  ❛  i’m  positive.  ❜  he  knew  that  they’d  been  dancing  around  the  subject  as  of  late.  neither  of  them  had  spoken  of  what  things  could  be  for  them  if  they  let  everything  move  naturally.  or  rather,  he  had  made  it  so  they  couldn’t  let  things  move  forward.

          with  a  gentle  squeeze,  he  swallows  &&  loosens  his  hold  just  enough  in  case  jean  wants  to  pull  away  now.  how  odd  it  felt  to  be  true  to  ones  wants.  ❛  unless,  you’d  rather  stay  here.  i’d  understand  that.  ❜  

exhaustion gives way to confusion and nervous anxiety. heart thundering so loudly in his ears that he almost misses what the blond is saying. this --- this was happening. something that he had conceded to only being a pipe dream. something to keep him warm at night (though it really didn’t). honestly, Jean had begun to accept that he had better chance of being murdered in his sleep than being as close to Armin as he wanted to be. amber flicks to look at fingers curled tight about his own, lingering for a long moment still unsure if this was real. but it had to be! it had to be real. Armin’s hand was so warm in his own. the weight of it --- of him. confusion still plays along his features as he lifts his gaze but up to the blond’s own. 

“ n-no... no I don’t want to stay here. “ that was the last thing that he wanted to do. yet, he can’t help but wonder what will happen when Armin realizes that he’s... well him. not to mention they were about to put themselves in an extremely compromising position. one that wouldn’t be easily explained away, even with all of the other’s intelligence. 

Jean was almost completely prepared to find himself on the floor very soon. 

slightly larger hand squeezes at pale fingers. reassurance that he was completely on board still. a silent urging for Armin to lead the way. he was too bloody nervous to move on his own. 

[pragmaticheart-blog]

there’s a moment he wants to stop the blond from moving. yet he finds himself allowing Armin to rid his hands of the book, body slouching slightly to face the other when he rights once more. the taller at least as the decency to look as though he knows this wasn’t entirely welcomed. honestly, he had fully expected the other to wiggle away and scold him for doing such without permission or invitation. brows furrow slightly at the offer that leaves Armin’s lips. perhaps he was dreaming. it wouldn’t be the first time that the blond took up a prominent role in such happenings. said dreams being mostly nightmares was hardly information he would share with anyone. 

“ you... you want to --- with me? “  he highly doubts that what he’s said even makes sense, yet he doesn’t have the ability to correct himself. fingers twitch under Armin’s own, itching to lace and curl about the thinner digits. 

for days now the taller boy had been trying to keep the distance that Armin clearly wanted between them. he was hardly stupid. a bit thick headed and slow from time to time, but far from stupid. nor was it hard to tell that the blond didn’t or couldn’t reciprocate the desire to be... well Jean isn’t quite sure what. 

“ are --- are you sure? “ 

                                                           @curiositybred

[pragmaticheart-blog]

Mikasa: Stop messing about, Jean. Are you 12?

Jean: On a scale of 1-10? Absolutely.