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Peter: *climbs into Tony's lap* Hey daddy... wanna hear something dirty?
Tony: *smrinks* Sure.
Peter: The kitchen.
Tony: ...What?
Peter: YOU DIDN'T DO THE DISHES AGAIN ANTHONY!!!
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Peter: you’re the most jealous man i know!
Tony: …
Tony: you know other men?
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TONY:go fuck yourself!
PETER:fuck me yourself, you coward!
Tony,already taking his clothes off: you asked for this!
NATASHA: this is the weirdest foreplay i’ve ever seen
Steve, covering his eyes: NOT IN THE LIVING ROOM!!!
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Tony:Babe can you help me this zip?
Peter:Sure
Tony:
Tony:Zip it up, Peter
Peter:Oops
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Tony: *sigh*
Peter: What?
Tony: Didn't you say that you were going to stop getting injured on patrols?
Peter: Yeah, and I also said that I was going to stop giving you blow jobs for a month, but that was a lie too.
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Peter in his head: God, Tony looks so good in that suit. I wonder how big his dick is? Is that weird? Nah I'm just thinking about it, unless.
All the Avengers:
Tony:
Fury:
Peter: oh that wasnt in my head?
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Tony: *slightest inconvenience* Im going to kill myself.
Peter: *A 19 year old gen z* same.
Tony: No take that the fuck back
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Tony, staring at Peter dreamily: *sigh* I wonder what great thoughts are going on his beautiful mind.
Peter, in his mind whilst disassociating: *mini him in the spider suit twerking* fErGaLiCoUs DeFiNiTiOn MaKe ThE bOyZ gO lOcO
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Peter: I keep refusing to spar with Mr. Stark.
Peter: What if he chokes me and I cum?
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Peter: I'm a huge fan of whatever the fuck this is!
Tony: ... that's my dick, Peter.
Peter: Very cool.
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Tony: Peter, you need to eat healthier. That's too much junk food.
Peter: Thanks, but I'm good.
Tony: The last person to not listen to my advice died.
Peter: My god, really??
Tony: Yes, they died in a plane crash.
Peter: That... sounds unrelated.
Tony: It doesn't. I'm the one who crashed it. Don't disobey me and eat your vegetables!
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Peter: I want to sleep for the rest of my life
Tony: That’s called a coma
Peter: Sounds fun
Tony: Kid no-
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