preslawsblog-blog

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Teamwork

I didnt have any specific role in the team project. Usually im a good team worker and i can see weather to take the leader role or just to be more passive depending on the other team members. In my case two of my mates were really active and i decided to be the passive one because is never good when there are too many ideas mixed. Of course i was giving my opinion but it was all about them weather to take my advice or not. I know that in the head of everyone theres a different design and is just best to stick to one of them instead to mix them and have eventually a mess. In the beginning i was having many ideas but we end up sticking with luckas's idea so i decided to abandon my thoughts and to try thinkin on his basics. So in the beginning there were no roles but eventually i decided to be just a suggestor and advisor instead of pushing my opinion and arguing with others or distracting the overall project. I was having some good ideas with the logo but unfortunately i couldnt suggest them to my team because i wasn't in the UK. I gave my ideas to a friend to deliver them to my group but there was a miss understanding and they didn't get it. And when i got back here the team had already chosen a great logo and i see that was a mistake but i learned from it and i made sure that every other time the team was together i was with them to support and give opinion. I didn't miss no other team meeting and i tryed to be always available weather in the group chat or when they need sth. I did planed some of the group meeting and. Supported the good ideas. That were given. I suggested the idea with the scanning camera and a few corrections on the overall design on the map like colours, unnecessary view ports and stuff like that, i came up with the name and supported the construction as well as a few of the view ports. I also tryed to communicate with everyone and I'd say that at some points i was the link between everyones relations because there was Luckas who was doing the most of the work and Sarah who was supporting him always, i was trying to please everyone and try to get into their mind to see what they wanted to do and improve it,there was that team member that nobody never saw and i don't even know his name and Iara who was really concerned about the fact that Lucas wouldn't listen to her suggestions because he wanted to kinda do everything by himself and not to have a deal with that anymore. I do appreciate the fact that he did really a lot for the project but Iara felt ignored by Luckas's behaviour and there was that point where she got really upset and during the team work she left. I wrote her immediately that im sorry for our behaviour and if she comes back we would listen to her ideas. But she didn't replay until the next time i saw her. Basically thats what i meant when i was saying that i dont want to push my ideas and distract the others luckas was already doing a great job and i wouldn't like to prevent that. Next time i saw Iara i talked to her about what happened and we got to the point where we just have to take everyone's opinion in consideration. She told me about her issue with Luckas's behaviour. I talked to him later and explained whats the problem. He said that it is ok but next time we started working together the same problem appeared again. Luckas was kinda rushing everything too much and Iara got furstrated again. Basically luckas was doing everything his way and Iara was used to that. I was trying to adapt and i was ok with whatever they decide. I was working with her and luckas was in the other room when she told me about her issues with the way Luckas wanted to do the app so i went to him and told him again to change the problem. After that it was all right. Im happy that i helped with that problem. After that we were working better and everyone was giving feedback. There was a point where i lost a track of whats actually going on cause during the holidays i couldn't see them and we didn't have any meetings so eventually i suggested to have a final meeting so that everyone be sure that is all ok but Luckas said that he had done all the work and its all ready so theres no reason to meet. He uploaded all the stuff in the group chat and that was all. Eventually i think that we did well although we had some problems. I think that i was a good addition to the group. The only think i didnt like was that i was insisting on making a group selfie but nobody wanted. 

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The last week

Its the last week of the semester im almost done but at the same time theres a lot of stuff to do. Im a bit worried that i can possibly miss sth but i will try not to. Since Cvety left i started working on my web site and i have it now almost done. I cant believe that i made sth at least. It doesn't mean that is the best but it looks decent and i guess that most of the things i had to do on it im having done so im pretty happy abouth that. It took me a lot of time and hard work my friend explained me how to use the css and that i was searching in google the rest of it. Basically it was really though thing to do for me but here am i. Honestly i never thought that i will do it on time. At one point i was about to pay somebody to do it. I just printed my toot bag and it is not looking the way i thought it will but is still fine i think that i did well with this exercise. Tomorrow im going to print my poster and try to finish the site. I have to do my sketch book. That... Last time i was writing someone interrupted me  and i didnt finish the blog so now im just finished The sketch book. Im having like two more pages to finish it. It happened really fast actually i was having almost everything in mind at that time. Im almost done with everything. The most scary part of the whole module is the submission. I feel like ive done such a good progress and the work as a whole is really good. Its definitely not perfect, i don't think that the design i looking great but i remember how in the beginning it was a total scrub and now im taking a lot of things in consideration, colours, types, space, shapes. It feels like im actually doing something. I still think that im bad with the programs i still think that my eye and imagination is not working 100%. I see my friends coming up with crazy designs and idk how the hell they did that. Its like an aliens masterpiece to me. This week i need to sign up for an advantage i will have to hurry cause i dont want to miss the illustrator classes cause i don't know what else to sign up for that will be interesting to me. I definitely don't want to be sth like additional stress to everything i will have. And of course i just need to do well with that program. But now as i think of it i remember the indesign courses and they were really basic although i did learn many different things. In case im late i will start spanish cayse i know that is easy and a quarter of the world i speaking spanish so why not. On top of that spain is e really worm country and really beautiful as well. I imagine being graphic designer there working on my laptop on the beach for the Americans or Chinese people and filling my bank account. For the party tonight. Thinking of everything i start to think that i could possibly be a designer. I start to be more confident. But i still cant imagine how could i use that... Maybe the struggle to get a job here traumatized me and im just used to it being hard. By the way im about to start a job in a hotel. Im really happy about it but idk how will i manage to do my other stuff that i failed previous semester. I just hope i dont fail them again. Anyways the money i will get will be really helpful. I need to be just more independent and not allow to some minor money problems to distract me, cause till now i was living really on the edge. And honestly i was tired of depending on my single mom. Now im planning how i will take her to a summer holiday. We will see how things are going to develop. In Bulgaria literally translated we say dont count the chickens before they hatch. But yeah, im happy that i finally got it i thought that it will never work ot for me to get a job. I need now to save money for a laptop and maybe a drawing tablet cause its so annoying every time when i need to use computer to go to the library. And i think that im also good at drawing and will be a nice idea to get a tablet. It seems maybe that im more excited about the price than the work i have to do for it and thats normal but these days i think that it should be the opposite. Its i klishe that u need to enjoy your job dut i cant still develop it as a passion. A good job is a job that u like yeah? But a job means to exchange work for price. And a work means the effort u give for that price and in most cases that effort is unpleasant. At least in my eyes. So to love a kind of job is like to love the effort u give. And now when i think of it it seems really wrong to me cause i never liked the effort abouth anything, even the things that i was the most passioned about. And i guess theres nothing wrong about me but for example the karate.. I absolutely hated the fact that i should be cancelling meetings with friends for that and i never liked to be punched by the better fighters but i did it for the pleasure - punching the weaker guys. Im joking but i wouldn't be confident to say that i like effort. So my point is that... Actually i got really confused. Everyone says that i need to learn to enjoy my job. Im planning after all those years and money invested in than it will be my job. Well.. Maybe i need to learn to enjoy the resoults of my work. Im having some problems for now cause my resoults are not good resoults. But at least im progressive. I like the fact that im getting better but i wanna like it myself. Im just less trash for now. I hope that next year i will have the same progress and probably i will actually learn to make beautiful art. 

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A guest

I havent written in a while for my blog and i havent posted ass well but im having a few post ready i just cant post them from my phone. So recently a friend of mine from Bulgaria came here in Coventry to see me. She's called Cvetelina, cvety for short. She was about to come with my ex girlfriend cause when i was in Bulgaria i introduced them to each other and they become good friends. I really love when i make good people friends it makes me safe and know that i actually have good people in my circle cause today the good people are not everywhere. So i broke up with that girl cause relationships in distance actually doesn't work. So only Cvety came. I was really happy about it honestly i decided to break up most of my relations with Bulgaria so that i don't feel the nostalgia because the last weeks of my firs semester were hell for me. I was so homesick, depressed here i was missing everything. I should've got used to the fact that here is my new home and all Bulgarian stuff is behind my back. So when she came it was really happy moment for me. It was even better that we both together with Ivan, my housemate and good friend were in the same class in high school so we all knew each other and it was a great feeling. She cane right in the beginning of the April Holiday's so i said to myself that the week she is here will be a rest for all of us cause she is studying graphic design in Bulgaria as well and she is having a lot of work but sometimes we need to rest for a bit. I also wanted to give her as much attention as i can cause she came to see me and i need to be a good host. I gave her my room and tried my best so that she can feel comfortable in my house. So i took her from the airport and got her to the house. It was a bit unfortunate that most of the time she stayed here the weather was awful. Anyway that didn't stop us to go for a walk with her and show her the city. We were out almost every day and that was good for me too cause honestly im not going out very often. So the first day she came it was for her to get used to the situation. All my housemates welcomed her and they were really nice to her. I loved the fact that everyone were together and i honestly enjoyed it so much. It was a bit hard for her to speak in English at the beginning but later than she got used to talk cause she could understand everyone despite their accent. Before we go to sleep I asked her to tell us about whats going on with her uni and ivan suggested that it could be a good idea for us to write in some stuff in for our blogs. I was more interested about her cause honestly it was a bit boring for me to listen about her uni. I knew that our is better and eventually I was right but it doesn't mean the they dont study. She told me how she's having a lot of work to do like 40 sth things and i was really surprised. All the stuff they had for the first semester were 80 works and thats good but i think that our uni is focusing more on the single projects like the brand we are currently doing and also on the creative part while they focus on the actual construction of objects and types on the programs. I think that our method is better cause it teaches u many other things in life like to be more creative, to find the mistakes of the curent issue, to give more creative answers than cause i like it and to be able to expres opinion and ideas. I personally learned how to better manage my time and how to make work easier for me. And of cource the biggest plus is that im able to travel, meet people from everywhere and i definitely think that our teachers are better that the Bulgarians. So after that it was pretty much the same we woke up late, went out for a walk and than watched some series or moves. I really enjoyed her company and it seemd like she was like the center of atention and everyone tryed to please her which was cool not only because she will feel better but because we were more often together and i really liked that. The last day she was here she went to london to see some stuff museums and the london eye of course. I couldn't come with her cause i didn't have money unfortunately. Next day she flew of and i will really miss her. We will probably keep chating and we will see each other when i come back to Bulgaria.

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Karate Shinkyokushinkai

The Shinkyokushin karate is a huge part of my life. I have been training since 1st grade and unfortunately i recently stopped. It all started when me and my brother were fighting all the time at home and we needed somewhere to throw our energy so our mother decided to sign us to those courses. I loved it when i started it cause i was pretending like a ninja and when i was so little the cool boys were those who could fight well. I don't remember myself fighting a lot back that except with my brother and for sure there were some cases where i just couldn't avoid it or i was looking for it. But yeah, as a whole karate used to sound great to me  when i started and i was so passioned about it. I wanted to be like Bruce Lee and Jacky Chan a crazy fighter with a crazy skills like them. I remember my first days when it all started there were many other children apart from my brother thet we didnt know but little by little we started to know them and i started to enjoy every training. There was one time when my mother took her camera and made us some photos with the karate gis. God they were so big on us cause my mom bought them bigger so cause we were growing up so that in a month they would be right. I even remember how my mom was talking to the trainer about them but they didnt actually mention that she will by them and i was really wandering cause she didnt tell me when i asked her. She said that it was a surprise and when we got the oh my god.. Till that moment we were training with sport equipment but everyone else were with the karate gis. And than we got ours. Now when im thinking of it im about to cry. So we had that photo session and than my mom printed the photos on paper and we still have some of those photos dut i remember also that i took them to school and showed them to everyone and they were all hiped and i was like the super star and there was that girl that i liked from the other class, well i impressed her. Anyways i was just showing off. I was not actually very good but i was doing my best and actually trying so hard. The beginning was a little boring. We were just studying all the techniques and doing them in the air but i was still enjoying. At the end of the year i there was an exam for the next belt and i took it successfully and even they told me that i was doing the best. I got my blue belt and i was really happy and since than i was counting the years till i get the black belt. The second year was a different one i even wanted to stop at one point. Basically i changed the groups and all the other guys were just more frightening cause i didn't know them but they know each other. They were actually nice to me but also joking and i was too young and scared and i didnt like it. Little by little i started to adapt and like my group the exercises were different and the trainer as well. I still know her and we are good friends. Shes a crazy woman. So there were sparings together with the other exercises and and we actually got to tight. There was one guy  that every time beated the shit our of me and i really hated him. Than there was the first my first ever competition. It was in a town quite far away from my city like 4 hours and i swear it felt like century till we get there. I was waiting so much than for my first fight to start and than when it started i remember that he was falling on the floor all the time but from the adrenaline i honestly dont remember much.. But i lost. Although i did pretty well for my first fight ever even my trainer was upset and arguing with the referees about their decision but anyway the lose is a lose and i took it harder than i should have. I remember that i cryed for a bit and it was awful but thats how u learn. My mother took a photo of me it was really nice i will even upload it. So i kept training there were a bit more competitions like  two every year and the first 4 of them i couldn't be in the top 3 but than i remember i got my first 3rd place i was even angry cause i knew that i could do better. I know that is surprising now clearly i remember all these stuff but the things that a man remembers are important and emotional moments. I guess the strong emotions are helping me remember these things i swear theres no fight ive ever had that i actually to forget. So i got my first medal my first cup it was so little but is still number one on my shelf with trophies. After that top until now there was no competition in Bulgaria where i didnt get top 3. Little by little i started to be better at the competitive fighting part and soon i got my first first place. Little by little i was getting stronger than the bullies that used to beat me and the tables had turned for them. After that i changed my group and started training with the man and im really lucky that we had a gym with many good fighters. Than my level of skill went drastically higher than before cause now i was comparing myself with the man and in the beginning it was hard. At that time im eleven or twelve. So in a bit of training with the man there wan nobody to take me down from the top in Bulgaria until my last competition that was around an year ago. The last guy that was a dificulty for me was called Antonio. We were having a dit of a history. So the first time i was 1st we should have played but with him but he was injured and i won cause he couldn't fight. The next fight with him was worst for me i lost. Basically i was too confident and underestimated him so after the second extension cause we were equal too many times he won cause he was more active. The next competition was for boys from 14 to 16 years but i was only 12 and i wanted to fight. I broke the arm of my first opponent who was 15 the next one was Antonio and i beated him this time clearly the final was against a 15 yo boy that knocked out all his opponents till now but i took him down with a kick in the rids and thats one of my dest victories. After that there was a competition in my city and i lost from antonio again fare dut the situation again was super tie. The next fight we had was an international championship it was the final and i was about to win but i accidentally hit him with a punch in the jaw and thats forbidden so i got disqualified and every other competition apart from that one Antonio was in a different weight from mine until 2015 i think but than i got to play with him for another final of a national championship and i destroyed him. I was a clear winner and i was so happy i was waiting so much for that revange. We never played each other after that cause he quit karate and started mixed martial arts. He was the last opponent that could give me some pressure but nw there were no others. At least until now cause im fighting with the man and theres one strong guy for another city that i never got to play against. As a whole there are some stuff similar to the design. See my skills were improved when i got to train with the man cause they were better experienced. Its the same now with the design cause im surrounded by other students learning graphic design so my experience is growing and i need to concure with the others and try to be first. Karate also teaches me that theres no man that can't be defeated although there were many strong man that i fought againts. I can kinda use the same logic in karate solving my issues with the design. Maybe im having some cause i quite karate?

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Deadlines

The end of this semester is coming and although i was having some issues i think that im doing pretty well compared to the previous one and as a whole. I remember that the previous semester my main problem was getting up earlier for uni and i couldn't attend i couldn't get my feed back and i couldn't follow all the briefs i had and i was completely depending on my friend telling me what we should have done and im happy that now i removed that issue and i can come to uni fresh and actually knowing what i am doing. I havent miss no one day apart of the two weeks i went to Bulgaria that were actually really bad for my uni projects. Honestly the first semester i was really underestimating the importance of the attendance but actually with my sleeping problems they really were pointless for me cause i was like a zombie. But even though i wasnt attending cause each time i was here i was tired and sleepy and i couldnt do anything for the rest of the day and i was totally unproductive but apart from that in the beginning i didn't understand the things that were said by the tutors not because my english was bad but because they were talking too fast and i just needed more time to translate in my mind and understand if that makes sense but i definitely got used to it and im doing better right now. But thats only about my uni work cause i see this now and frankly i think that is too late but till now i was doing everything just for uni and i wasn't doing it for myself and i regret it but i realise it now. Better letter than never. The lectures for the blog are really inspiring to me and i actually think that they make me think of my actual situation motives and what i should do and y i am here. I dont wanna sound like one of these over exaggerated explanations where i explain how much i enjoy everything and everything is inspiring to me and all these sugar stuff cause i can do it but theres no point. The point is that the things my tutors say make me think for my actual design career cause as i said for most of the time uni for me is like the extension of school and school never tried to teach me anything. To me it was all about passing with the higher grade and that's why eventually i hated it so much it was just losing my time. I did learn some stuff that i could remember till now but for the most part it was bullshit that i will never need and even in case i need it theres internet for all that stuff. Im just used to it and that habit of just passing is terrible and im really sorry for it. I never studied the high level maths cause i was interested in it or i was curious at least cause everyone knows that math after 7th grade is total bullshit. I never studied biology and the structure on the cells cause i was interested in it. I just wanted to pass with higher grade. And here i am trying to pass all my modules. Why is that? To get my diploma eventually and keep it on the shelf with trophies. I know that theres no way for me to be a good designer doing that. I am improving but my actual skills are still too basic. I do know much more, a lot more than before i came here but i imagine actually trying to learn stuff could be so beneficial. I know most of my problems that i need to eliminate and I'm getting ready to be great. Im happy that the deadlines this time are not so much stressful period  of the semester that fucks up my psychic but time to negotiate what i had achieved this semester and how can i use it in a better way. Basically now i think that im still not learning too much about being a good designer and having the skills but im learning how to study which is a bit sad cause school never thought me of that although ive been doing it my whole life. When i grow up i will consider what to do with my children when its about their time to start school cause i definitely dont wanna lose their time like i did. Its a problem in my country that teachers are underpaid although they are preparing our next generation for life and if a boy like me gets out of it it should at least know how to learn other things properly and not trying to go around the rules to do their job. I see that my tutors are good teachers who want from us to learn as much as possible and to actually be good at it. So eventually for the first year i kinda learned to study properly although sometimes i still go to the library and i don't do anything. Thats another issue that i need to eliminate for myself. We'll see how i will get over it. I think that i wanna learn to do everything at the moment i sit down and just do it. Im taking too much time for now idk for what. Honestly the past week there was no one time i did something good. Ok so for now i need to work on things one by one and i need to know what im working on. Im planning to finish my web site till the end og this week although i know that will never happen and i guess i could succeed and acually do it but for now i was so stressed about the actual coding thing that i wasn't aware of the fact that i didnt even have the idea what my actual design will be so i was all the time i was struggling wit the construction but the thing was that it wasnt only the fact that i couldn't practically do it but i didn't know what to do. So i started this post Wednesday today is Thursday so today im planning to do the construction of the site and the design part on a paper and than to start binding it by coding. I need to know what i should be doing so that im focused and to tear apart all the complicate things that i gotta do into a small easy to do stuff like: "to do the web  site i need to do the coding im having the design idea so i need to start building the title after i do it i need to insert some buttons  to do the button i need to check what is the code to do it so to do it i need it pressed and while is not touched" So thats how im about to do all my stuff we will see weather is a good or bad idea.

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The best and worst travel

For now im for about 6 months here in Coventry and ive been to Bulgaria only twice. Once for the winter holidays and another time and thats what i wanna discuss now cause my travel was quite interesting although it was a complete tragedy. So befor the winter holidays i doesnt 3 months out of home missing every place, every one of my friends and everithing i was doing with them. From the very beginning i was feeling that im on a camp with other people cause its not like the first time i separate from home. Ive traveled to many different places not only in Bulgaria but in other European and Asian countries mostly because of the many european Championships i had but that i started to miss little by little every little thing about my home cause for me it was like: ok, so till now i knew some people, i better forget about them. I might know some places but i better forget adout them. I might like doing some stuff but for the most of them i better forget. It was like u live one life and they take everithing u know and replace it with sth different. I was aware of everything. But i think that was sth kinda like inner stress cause for example i couldnt sleep properly at some point and i disnt know why i just couldnt fall asleep on time. At the end of the semester before I come back home i was really missing it. I couldn't ever imagine and describe such a feeling ive never had.. In the summer me and my brother made a rap song with a video and it was quite good like the professional once. We had many views and made a couple more  and during the end of the first semester we were invited to sing in a club in my city. So i got the offer and i had to take the decision fast cause i didn't have too much money and i wanted to purchase the ticket faster so the its cheaper and for me that was really exiting, i was so happy about it but i wasnt too optimistic about it cause i was having uni at that time and i also wanted to keep my money for songs and videos but what are the songs for if i dont feel the glory for a while and also my friends were so happy about it and they changed my mind. The other reason was the fact that i was really suffering the nostalgia for my home and i knew that ill be very happy to be back home even for a while. So i bought some cheap and early tickets. It definitely was one of my happiest purchasees ever. Than i came back to Bulgaria i had a good time saw all my friends family and most importantly my dogs oh my god i was missing them so much. So yeah i had my good time and than i got back here. The time i was here was fine cause i knew that ill be back soon. I started writing with one girl and i really wanted to meet her so i was waiting impatiently to come back again. So when i was buying my ticket i was looking for the cheapest one and thats why i bought one that allows me to carry one small bag that can fit under my seat. When i was traveling before with my suitcase i was able to but it under my seat so i thought that it would be fine to travel with it. Unfortunately they told me at the airport that  its too big and i should pay for it. Honestly i didnt have enough money so i was lucky that i had my backpack in my luggage so i took all i need and put it there and threw the suitcase to the garbage. After that it was all fine i got home late night.next day evening was my concert. And i met many of my friends there and was soo cool they were all cheering me and i was having so much fun up there on the stage and all my friends singing my songs and the other people who didnt knew me were enjoying as well it was a damn good night. Basically i was having plans for absolutely everyday of the week i was there cause i wanted to see most of my close friends but i was having too many hobbies and things that i used to do and i wanted to see my friends from school the friends from the karate club the friends from the hood from the near city from my village my brothers group and many others. I couldnt see all of them of course but 1st day i saw most of them at the club. The second day i spent with the girl i was writing before and than we went out for a club again. The performers were my favourite rap group and i was really enjoying it but i started to feel a bit sick cause it was the 4th day in a row i didnt get enough sleep and on top of that i the next day i should have got up early to go to the near town to see some friends and than their karate club cause i know them very good and they are my good friends. At the end of the day when i took my train back i was really exhausted and that was the time when i got sick. Some friends were inviting me to clubs again and i really wanted to go cause in Bulgaria we are having a few different types of music and every club is playing only one type music but i didnt have enough sleep and i was definitely sick cause at that time the weather was a bit cold similarly to the weather here. The next day i wanted to go to a tournament of one of my favourite games that is held every saturday but it was from too early so i decided that i actually need to rest so that day was a rest day. And eventually in the evening i went out to a bar with a few of my closer friends. Next day i went out with one group of friends that i used to spend a lot of time with the summer but it was fallen apart after i came here to study. Next day i wanted to have a training and meet my friends at my dodjo as well as my trainer. After that i met again with that girl and the bext day i was having a goodbye forever party. Than it was the day when i was about to fly back here. And i missed my flight... My mother drove me to the airport and keft me there. I was like an hour earlier and i was waiting for the flight. Actually i feel so bad right now when i think back what happened. Basically at the end of the corridor there were 2 separated places and at each place there were two gates. My gate was 13. I went to the place where was written "12-14" And for me thats from 12 to 14 so that 12,13 and 14. Than i saw that nobody was there and i started to be worried so i started asking people what should i do. They didn't know and they were confused and actually nobody helped me but loosing my time and i just missed it. I was feeling so embarrassed. I feelt like i just took a shit in my pants. Was so bad and i was stressed worried and omg i cant describe it was like a horror move. Trough my head were flying thoughts  like what will happen with the uni cause i cant afford to miss another week and i didnt know wether it will be a week or more and i was about to miss a lot of lectures i was about to waste a lot of money on another ticket and basically i was feeling fucked up. I was stressed cold and i didnt have any Bulgaria money cause i spend them all cause i thought that i wont need them anymore but i had a card with some money so i managed to come back home. It wass a terrible day for me and it was a good thing that my mother wasnt home when i got back cause idk how would i look at her eyes. When she was back here we bought a ticket for the upcoming weekend and it was quite expensive but it seemed that its all better. Next few days i saw some friends and anjoyed them too but i definitely dont think that it was worthed but anyway... There was nothing else i could do but deeply i was feeling so bad and sorry for my mum and about uni cause even one week more was enough to pull me back and when i cane here i was so stressed but eventually i learned to work under stress cause diamonds appear under pressure. It is all over it was a great and terrible travel at the same time theres what to regret and what to be happy abouth. I know that i need to be more careful. I just can't ive always been like that and it costs me a lot but i guess ill just have to live with it.

ОтговорПрепращане

[preslawsblog-blog]

Time

I think that lately im managing my time a bit better but i still think that aim wasting too much of it. Before i come here e never felt that way. Basically i was having this rule for me that im either doing some work that will be useful for letter or im just doing what i like. I was doing what i like most of the time and i was doing what i have to do only when i wanted and that way even if i fail for example an exam in school i wasnt regretting it cause i knew that the time i spent playing games or being out was actually not waisted but i enjoyed it and it was put in a good use and specially about school. I really hated studying at home cause school's job is to learn u and i should not be spending half of my day there and tho other part i should be studying... And for what... I was having at least 4 out of six cause i my country the grades are from 2 to 6 and six is the exelent mark so im the one enjoying my time but at school on the exam my mark was 4 i don't think that was worted to sacrifice these happily spent hours for a 5 cause  the thing was u study but u make a slight mistake and instead of 6 u get 5 and the others get 4 cause i was paying attention at school so just for one note more it just wasnt worried its true that it could be my future  but there was a research that says that 85% of the people when they are asked what do they regret in life were the chances they didn't take. So i wanted to live for the moment and i knew the difference between enjoying my youth and destroying my future. I was going out with my friends when they called me and actually before i realise all this stuff cause in my school days before high school i was studying for real. And i was quite shy and i was bever the cool guy in my group cause i didn't have any experience with the other boys i was only playing with my brother and with a few other kids from the neighborhood but thats all and when i started going out more and taking chances and some risk it was a really great change for me cause i started learning more things and adapting to the cool role model we all had. I started making much more friends i started talking to girls more confidently and i was feeling great and that was when i never thought that my time could be wasted or sth like this. But now things had changed. Before i felt like i was doing all this for myself and i am the only one who will suffer my mistakes. Now i just dont have that peace cause before even if i fail nobody cares and i didnt feel like actually fail cause all the time i spent with friends or resting was worthed and i just didnt care. Well now my mother invested too much and i owe her to succeed. Cause although i might not regret my failure i will definitely regret all resources my mom invested in me to be successful. And its not like she wanted this for me and i was just left with no choice. She had asked me million times:" Do you really wanna do this? " And i did wanted since i was a little kid. I dont have a father since many years and when i was younger my mom was telling me how many and what educations my father had. And back than as i said i was really smart boy and i was studying hard and i was thinkin: " I can do that, maby ill have to study a few years more but thats all". i just wanted to have these educations so that when somebody asks me how many do i have i can say a big number. Well it wasn't quite the same for my mom. She grew up in a peer family and she had bever worked a highly payed job befor and she could never imagine to be able to pay my education abroad rentals and food but eventually all this was possible for her and now she had done too much for me. I just cant dissapoint her. Thats why im so stressed lately cause my first semester was terrible. Im honestly ashamed to tell her my results but the point is that i was actually working hard. At least trying a lot but i just didnt know many things and now i have to do them again which actually makes me more focused on my stuff and use my time better cause im under pressure and i know that i dont have time for wasting time. Now i just feel bad when im resting cause i know that the time i am enjoying is not worthed. Not to mension that im stressed all the time so even if im resting i know that i have a lot of work and cause of the stress i just cant rest properly.

[preslawsblog-blog]

a short week

I know this is the first thing that i post after last Wednesday and i know that i said that i will keep posting stuff and work but although i didn't it doesn't mean that i didn't attempt to i guess it still counts as sth lets say half point. Basically i started writing the next day but i got interrupted so i saved all i had written in a draft so that next time i start writing i can keep it from where i was. Untill now all my posts were directly written in tumblr so excuse me if sth is not correct but im not doing this anymore probably. So after i got back to work and finnished my post i posted it and idk why but the only thing that appeared on my wall was the first draft that i saved and the rest was gone. Like two days after i wrote it all over again and even more it was like 1500 words and after i posted it it didn't appear on my wall and again all my work was lost idk why and what happened but i was feeling really bad... Basically today i will write all i had written on thise posts cause i remember most of it cause i already wrote it twice. So basically is is also the event of the last week. It was a change of my lifestyle so that i will study more and be more efficient at my studying. I said to myself that i will spend most of my time in the library and gonna go home only when i eat or sleep even i could take a lunch with me so at least i get used to trying to study. Basically i think it was a pretty positive change but honestly im not doing enough work for all the time i spend in the lib so im not efficient enough. I need to be more focused and i need to remove all the distractions. I also need to know what i am doing cause often i just open 5 different works and try to work on all of them  and at the end im not doing anything so at least i know what i need to do and thats what think is so helpful about it. So basically last week on wednesday i wrote my latest post actually i think they were two so I just had that decision to lock myself in the librarry i called it the first day in the bunker and thats how i named my post that i never released. After the lecture i went out to kebab rush so that i take my lunch cause its really easy to get hungry while studying so i had a good lunch with my wriends. After that there was a guest lecture. A very famous and good graphic designes was here to explain some stuff to us. I forgot his name i wrote it down but lost it with my first post. So he was showing us his work and saying why it was good he shiwed us some of his ancient designs from the era before internet. They weren't anything special to me but i bare in mind that there was no internet and media back than so im capable to appreciate it. There were some interesting ideas if maps made for pedestrians on streets and airport things and stuff like that. I think that was insightful but only to kniw it in any case its always good to know where the things came from but honestly i dont think it was worthed. I did learned some stuff but it was really hard for me to focuse. Honestly the lecture was so boring. I sware i was the only one trying to pay attention. Everyone around me were sleeping or scrolling through the facebook news feed. The designer once gave example how somebody said to him to be quiet and said loudly "Shhhhh" And my friends got suddenly scared of that thinkin he says that to them cause they've been talking among them. Although they've been quiet the designes was also quiet and we all were sleepy and was so easy to fall asleep. My tutors didn't like the fact that there werent many people cause it wasn't mandatory and people just don't wanna go to this lectures cause they are straight boring. My tutors didn't stay till the end and probably they had some classes but idk i still think that they were just borred and i think that they just pretend to be interested just to give us the right example cause if they are not should we actually be. See people start to lose interest in these lectures cause they are all boring. Than after that frankly i just wanted to go home but i tryed to make the right decision and go to the library so that i can study. I didn't have my catalogue started. At least the work on computer. But i was having the idea so i didn't have to take time for plans. I started with the basics and that made the illustration... Damn that simple illustration took me soo long at least a few hours after that i was placing the different elements like date and place some text about the exhibition and such things. I couldnt finnish it. It was really hard fir me to concentrate and create interesting ideas the graphic design skills were missing i made everything quite basic. At least the folding was more more interesting so is not the wirst thing ever but i was having a bit more to finish it. I stayed in the lib from like 2 to 9 and than i came come made some food for dinner and for the next day cause i cant afford kebab rush every day i wanna study at the library after uni and also i can't wake up early enough so that i can have breakfast. The next day we were having crits and i woke up on time i wasn't really sleepy but it was raining a lot so i waited to stop and i was late with less than an hour but i got on tine for the crit session. I got some feedback on the catalogue i did the previous day. I also got to talk to Zornitsa. She was guest lately and halping us and giving us some feedback. I was lucky that she was bulgarian as well so we were talking to  each other to more understandable language for me so i got mire insightfull feedback. For now i had changed the type cause of her advice and some other stuff. That was the work that we should have been doing while the others have been doing the gifs for the web site. Damn this site... Before i know that we gotta do coding it  from scratch i thought that im actually having some chances to pass but niw man... I feel so fucked. Basically i hate coding. Everyone hates coding. And if i wanted to study coding i would sign up for programming cause its better paid that design. We are suppesed to learn to code for half a month and all the lessons we are having are once a week and we should also make the camplicate design of a site and code it that way so is not a simple cading and i had never done this. It sucks for me cause even for the lessons that we are having in uni im so far behind  cause in the begining of the course i went to bulgaria for my concert and i was having a bit of a trouble there and missed the first few lessons and than when i was back i just couldn't catch up with the group. Everyone have been doing some crazy stuff and i didn't understand anything. Im also having a dislection and its not only hard for me to read huge amounts of text. Like books and stuff. Here theres no logic context and sentences. Heres signs like dots slashes and colins and stuff. All that so confusing to me end don't get me started on when i make a mistake and i have to find it where is... Is cool that when a code isn't working its says where is the mistake but it takes a lot of copying ant stuff like that. You know thats why i never corect my posts its so hard to find and correct all my mistakes cause i just can't see them. I know it sounds stupid but i guess theres sth wrong with me. Is not that bad im handling in normally but im concerned that i might not be able to pass the module cause if that soecific breaf. The problem is that i should be doing it on my own and all the things i borrow fro another weds i have to mention them so i was planning to save the skeleton of some simple site and than change it like the pics banners and words similar to mine i can at least try but even that is not allowed so im really worried and i aint got no idea what should i be doing maybe i can try doing it my way and than say that it was actually me the one who wrote it its at least possible to pass it like that and if not i cant imagine honestly starting from scrach it will take  ages fir me to finnish it... I will focus now on the other stuff and leave it for latter cause at least i wanna get sth ready. So after the feedback from Zornitsa i was trying to be helpful to my group for the group project for the web site.  I was just standing there for atendance and litterally loosing my time i couldn't understand shit that was happening and i was getting tired of doing nothing and honestly i soent way too much time there i don't think that my team actually needs me but ill be there to help if enything else. Eventually we've been working untill 4 or 5 o'clock and actually i was verry tired so altho this was the second day of the "locked in the bunker" Series i was feeling that we actually had done some work like for the day i was having enough feedback and we had done some parts of the group project on top of that i was quite sleepy and it was a real challenge fir me not to leave. So i came home and on the way back i spread some CVs so i can say that although i didn't go to the library today i had done enough work and was a quite productive day. Honestly i forgot what i was doing the rest of the day but i think that i went to bed a bit more late. Next morning i got up late again, had breakfast and than i played a game that we recently bought and im starting to get quite adicted so i played for a bit. I wanted to go letter to the library to go study so  in order to avoid playing for hours that game and waste my day i put an alarm so that i know when is time to go. I went than to the librarry and i started writing in my blog basically rewriting this post. I was writing it for like an hour and half and than im almost sure that i posted it but.. Yeah i did post it but than i checked my profile to see how it looks like, and i didn't see it at first so i waited a bit. I refreshed the app a bit times rested my internet and i was feeling so bad... At least i know now to write it always on my NOTES app cause there everything i write is saved automatically. So basically i was trying to code my site cause there was no way fir me to start doing all this stuff all over again so i decided to change the topic cause for almost two hours of writing i was soo fed up and i mean... The way im writing is i just pick up my phone i concentrate and  i start instantly writing everything that comes to my mind and is almost with no pauses, maybe only when i need to translate some words but apart from that i am constantly writing and i think that this is one of the little things that i can keep my atention to... maybe its because my phone is much smaller and i can controll where it is and keep my focus where it should be and for the computers in the library they are too big and it takes more of my peripheral sight and amont with it i see other distracting things and.. Idk its just much more easy for my phone to keep my atention instead of the PCs. The only thing thats holding me back from writing in my post is i guess the will to actually start writing its like i know that right now i might be free but i fill probably decude to do sth stupid in the next 10 min and i don't actually wanna spend an hour writing. Good ting would be to write befire i go to bed and orobably i could make this as a habit but right now its rather sth that i wanna do but i never do. So i spent the rest of the day trying to make the code for my site and i saw how hard it actually is to check all the codes and make them work property and i got kinda depressed about it cause honesty idk how im gonna pass it.. Basically untill now  i was focusing more on my other stuff like the catalogue and the poster cause this is a thing that i still have to do and is the most denanding thing cause i need to be in track with the lectures so that im having propper feedback. And this is sth that i learned from the last semester that if i dont have corect feedback than i will have many incorect things and at least when im handing out my breafs i would have talked to my tutors and i would know what they are looking for  to be done and i will have it done till then so if theres anything that i didn't do well i will know it cause they already told me. So thats for friday. Honestly i forgot what i was doing on saturday and sunday i know that one of the days i almost finnished my catalogue at least i made it look better i had my poster almost done basically i dont know what actually i should be doing on it anymore i took Zornitsas advice so i changed the type that i was using and than i repaired the little details. And about the catalogue i ictually folded it and i saw that i was having some technical issues so now i have to repair tham but it wont take too much time. On monday i was working no the modules from my last year and unfortunately on tuesday i couldn't attend on my lectures cause i was having a job interview finally.. It was about a work in a hotel on the road between Coventry and Birmingham. I was instructed to take the bust to go to one of the stops and than i should have been waiting for the hotel minibus that would take me to the hotel. So what happened. I went there an hour earlier so that im sure that everything is all right. Than when the time came i started to look for that car and i didnt see it. I called the hotel number but nobody picked up the phone. I kept looking for it than i saw it going  the oposite direction without to stop. I was calling them again for like 20 min  than a woman picked up the phone. I explained the situation and wanted from her to connect me with the man who sent me the invitation. In another 20 he called me. And told me that in an hour i will have to wait for another car. The point was that i was cold and my hands were blue yet from cold. But i needed that job so i waited for it. This time i instantly saw it and got there. It drove me to the hotel there i saw the man i was having conversation with before. He interviewed me, i think i did well but unfortunately i didn't have enough expirience and depending on the other peoples expirience he will write me in a week if i get the job. The think that worries me i that i lied in my cv that i used to work in a bar for a few months but honestly if i didnt write it i wouldn't be called anyway. He asked me some interesting questions and i got to answer all of them and than i got to talk to him so i tryed to convince him that im actually really good about that job. It was well done. Im really hoping to come up well for me. So than i went home but when i got to the bus station i got the bus the other way to Birmingham. I know... I just can't change. Ive always been like that and i swear im still trying... I got home at 6 it was a long travel. I didn't have time and energy to study so i had a dinner maybe played some game and went to bed and thats basically my last week. I think that it was quite busy and its much more productive than before. I hope that in the future ill get used to being more efficient and productive at what im doing.

[preslawsblog-blog]

Issues

Basically right now im quite fucked i failed all 3 of my module and i have plenty of work but that could be beneficial to my ways of working so. I plan to spend all my time in the library but the only issues are food and sleep. These are my plans for now im planning to make the library my home from now. I just broke up with my girl in Bulgaria cause there was no point of being separated from one another. I know it's the right choise and i could say that she was quite distracting so i can focus on all of the work waiting for me. Honestly im not used to it. Can be very easily distracted. I just need to learn to be more focused and actually to be doing work. Even if i dont like some breaf that wont be a bad thing cause i got so many. So yeah... I need to live in the library... I need to find way to eat cheap food there and have better sleep cause these are my problems for now. Im in a proces of repairing my sleeping graphic so that i can combine uni and studying and sleeping. Im not planning time for anithing else i just hope if i lock myself out of anithing i can manage to do my stuff but my life will probably be more boring and i will have less stuff to post. But on the other hand i can do it for all the time im stuck into my future bunker. Im used to vomiting every word that appears in my head out so i think that i could manae to have enough posts although for now they are lacking. So i need to go to bed earlier so that i can be able to get up on time for uni and not being like a zombie after that. About the food.. Cause basically im not planning to go home and bach to uni every time im hungry. When i try to focus and study i always get hungry very fast. So the time im at home i need to make my food for here. The other solution is the kebab rush 2 min away from lib but we'll see wether i can afford eating it evry day cause i ain't got no work for now and my mother is having hard times as a wedding photographer during the winter u know nobody's getting married during the cols seasons so yeah. I need to fond that job ive been walking around lately spreading some CVs and im just waiting for some job to appear but obviously the city is small and there are many students looking for a job and i just was late and i missed the time when i should have find one cause of my insurance number and i just was not aware how things happen. Im just waiting for the next opportunity or if anything appears i could be looking for in Birmingham but i definitely dont think it could be a good idea all the traveling and working and not having time to study i just hope they call me from burger king next week cause its really close to us and i can save time honestly i prefer working for less than paying for transport.

[preslawsblog-blog]

Feedback

The feedback given to the student is something very important to his way to the success. And not only, basically everyone could benefit from a constructive and honest feedback. U need to know ur mistakes for u to repair them and not make them again. As Thomas Edison said: I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work. Mistakes are teachers but for them to be useful we need to take a notice of them instead of ignoring them. One of the benefits at being at uni is that we are many people with similar interests but different ideas and perspectives and the feedback is one of the breafs we have most often and with all these people they can be really useful cause there are plenty of different possible ideas for feedback. Thats awesome but of course I can't take all the advices everyone gives me. I have to be concidering which are actually useful and which not. Sometimes there are some great advices but for example I don't have any time and it happens to be advice that take a lot of time and i need to take advantage of it and at the same time change it in a way i can do it effectively on time.

Feedback session are helpful to me in both ways when im giving and receiving it. I feel like giving feedback is more effective for me cause seeing other works and working on it is much easier. And of cource criticizing others is much easier. Sometimes i just get stuck at thinking of an idea and i cant get away. When i take a look at others work i see clearly their mistakes and many times i got the same but again i just don't see them cause im stuck with an idea and i hardly see anything else cause im too busy solving that problem i don't see the others. So i see others mistakes for example the fonts are not matching or theres some disorder with the colours and than i check my work for the same stuff. I also like receiving feedback but sometimes is not acurate its like to just say sth as to have the work done and also sometimes others have good ideas but totally different from mine so i have to start the whole project from scratch, i mean sometimes the feedback is not compliant. Thats not so bad but the one of the lessons i learned is to stick to an idea and any hesetation could cost my whole modul.

[preslawsblog-blog]

Studio

The studio of an artist is a very important place for him. This is the place where he develops all his work and it is important to be a favorable environment where the artist can be comfortable when beind in the productive process. It has to stimulate the artist and not to distract him. It also has to be confortable for him cause he has to spend a lot of time there and if the chair is unconscious or the computer is not the ritht distance away from his eyes that can deal some damage and we better care more about these stuff. I got a problem with my studio at home cause it is at the same time my resting place and an artist has to make difference between both so id rather say that my studio is uni. It has the environment for working. It is also good that i have around me plenty of people having the same problem as me or ready to help and i can easily focus and discuss my working issues and work on them and remove them.

[preslawsblog-blog]

Pdp

My blog for now definitely is no going well. Idk how im always late to understand anything. Im a bit late but i think that i can make a bunch of posts at once and i can be back on track with the others. My concentration is always anywhere else and i need to be more focused. Although im having so many ideas for that blog to post cause honestly I'm so active in theory. But it feels like im almost loosing my time with stupid stuff. I took a break a few weeks ago. I traveled to Bulgaria cause i was performing at a night club. Building a rap career u know. I did spend great time but now i start to regret it cause i missed quite a lot from uni. Today is almost the middle of the course ind i feel like im just starting. I will do better im greta at doing anything at the last moment but ill start it from now. The reason i don't feel so concerned about all the stuff i have to do for my blog is because almost every night im writing sth like a diary with a similar intentions. It's like talking to myself and having all the feedback from myself. Often when you are in all the hurry, problems and obligations u have you are too busy with them and its confusing to take the write decisions while if you look yourself from a side ull see some obvious solutions and answers to the problems. Its like more sober thinking while you're drunk with all the problems. Sadly i wasnt able to write it lately. I felt like my life starts to be more boring and i dont have what to write about. Although i always have somehow i also dont feel like writing so much now. Idk. I feel how that blog is going to be written in a similar way and it will have a similar purpose.

[preslawsblog-blog]

When u use different programs for designing stuff it could be helpful to know the colour combinations. Justa graphic design joke hope u like it

[preslawsblog-blog]

Honestly the hard work and the students life sometimes are hard to handle. Idk why but am havin those sleeping problems since im here and i struggle to fix them for now... I need a doctor🏥

[preslawsblog-blog]

Im studying the graphic design since i started my high school but we had never studied like that so I wasn't really used to doing researchers which was one of my problems at uni but now i start to understand how helpful that could be.

[preslawsblog-blog]

Here am I

Hi, I'm Preslav from Bulgaria and i study graphic design in Coventry. That's my blog where i will post my activities for you to be aware with my interests, inspirations and my daily life.