princechris - Tumblr blog

[princechris]

Stop thinking so much. You’re breaking your own heart.

Unknown (via thoughtkick)

[princechris]

what would you tell your younger self?

[princechris]

I don’t know if I can do this again

[princechris]

Ramblings

I’m so tired. I’m so dependant. I’m so so sick. I’m too tired to help myself. Over eating. Too tired to exercise. I’m too tired for this. Too tired to sleep. Too many friends that don’t care. I have 1 person who really cares abut me, and I’m just so dependant on her. I fear that ill scare her away. I’m so so scared. Nothing working. Can’t i just be like everyone else? Happy and surrounded by love? They always have things to do, their skinny, their healthy. It doesn’t hurt to move their joints. Their wrists and thighs don’t sting in the shower. I want to be like them. I just want to get better, and i really thought i was; i thought i was getting better. I fought so hard, and I’ve worn myself out. I’m too tired to get myself out of here. I really had a plan to commit suicide. I was going to do it. The plan was supposed to go through in 2020. I had tickets to go see My Chemical Romance live. I was so exited. But i was still in that black foggy breathless mindset. After the concert, after we arrived home, i was too wait until my parents and sister where happily sleeping, and i was to take all the pills in the house. I’d run the bath full of hot water and slit my wrists. I’d sit there and wait. I’d feel everything then nothing. But since fucking COVID started, it has been postponed: I decided not to do it. Yes, my life was depending on seeing Gerard Way in real life. I’m THAT pathetic. Yes i was literally hanging onto life from seeing a band live, but maybe i could find something? But thats not happening. Im an empty mess. Im crying and shaking as i type this out. Thinking as i almost got back up. Thinking about how i was almost human, but again, i gave up. I thought i was okay, but im not. Im crying and i can hardly see. Im typing out this goodbye letter and just praying that nobody sees this. Saying good-bye to the internet is one of the most pathetic things ive ever done, and you agree. Im saying good bye to no body. But i just thought, If ANYBODY is wondering when im going, ill see you all in hell. Good Bye, 

From Christian Lavande, Property of Mikey Greyuth.

[princechris]

reblog this if you didn’t think you’d make it to 2021