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[princessindigo]

Terrans Will Integrate Us All!!!

What if Earth is the only planet with multicellular life? What if all alien life is unicellular and aliens are giant intelligent cells?

Then they encounter us humans, which, by alien standards, are a society of hive-minded societies of mindless cells. It would be as if all the hive-minded societies in sci-fi united into a super society.

Imagine their horror at the thought that cells are treated as mindless slaves. Having to obey orders blindly. I remember in my biology class that cells are sometimes ordered to kill themselves.

We would not be given the chance to interact with them. The moment they discover us, they will exterminate us in order to prevent multicellular life from spreading across the universe.

We would be worse than the Borg of Star Trek. We would be the megaborg.

[princessindigo]

SO PACK UP WHEN WE'RE THROUGH

HOW CAN I

MAKE A MAN

OUT OF YOUUUUUU

Humans are crazy: research and common industrial use of ridiculously dangerous chemicals

Recently read up on some of the most dangerous chemicals mankind has ever developed and some of the stuff scientists have been able to discover is terrifyingly awesome.

Take Chlorine trifluoride for example. It can basically be summed up as the chemical that can make just about anything ignite. It is a better oxidation agent than oxygen and can set fire to things most sane people would consider fire proof.

Things chlorine trifluoride can ignite: glass, asbestos, concrete, sand and things that are already burnt.

Imagine an alien coming across information about this chemical.

“Excuse me, I’ve found this entry about a highly combustible compound that has been developed. Would you care to explain its uses? According to these reports it’s far too dangerous for any practical purpose.”

“Ah yes. That’s a very interesting case. The main modern use for the chemical is to clean certain lab and industrial equipment”

“That seems spectacularly over zealous for a simple sterilization agent.”

“Well that’s not what it was originally developed for.”

“Dare I ask what it was supposed to be used for?”

“War. It was developed during our Second World War as a weapon. Thankfully it never saw use due to it being too volatile.”

“Your species development a chemical that can set fire to stone specifically to fight using it. And now you just use it to sterilize equipment. Remind me to call for a human chemist when there is an order regarding explosives.”

[princessindigo]

And us humans didn't adapt very much. We're not that strong or fast but we freaking invented many things. Many things that apes or any other creature cannot comprehend. We made rockets, missles, etc. We advanced so much that we are automatically destroying the earth while trying to help it. But the kill or be killed rule still stands.

Other Than Humans

We always talk about humans being weird, but what about the other creatures of Earth. While most are pretty normal, there are some that are very strange, even by Earth standards. Jellyfish that can live forever. Shrimp that punch so hard they create a shock wave that hits its prey a second time. Whales as large as cargo ships. Trees that rival mountains in height. Eels that shock their prey with electricity. Bugs that could survive nuclear Armageddon. Little microscopic creatures that can survive the vacuum of space. Earth life can get insane!

And that’s just the living species. Giant herbivore dinosaurs with whip tails that can break the sound barrier. Sharks with a swirl of teeth it uses to saw instantly through its prey. Predators the size of houses. Pterodactyls the size of buses that could still fly.

Point is, it isn’t just humans who are crazy. The whole planet is like that. That’s what happens when you evolve on a death world. You either adapt or die. The ones with the best adaptations survive. Sometimes that requires you to evolve insane abilities that make others view you as magical and seemingly impossible. That’s what it takes to be a death worlder.

[princessindigo]

Haha

Freak out

I have the bad habit of cracking my knuckles.

My brother can burp on demand. 

My friend can crack their neck at will. Loudly, and frequently.

An old girlfriend of mine had double jointed elbows, meaning they could bend their arms freakishly far and do a trick where it looked like they could turn their hand 360*. (photo taken from google) 

Humans can do stuff that can freak out other humans. Someone write about aliens encountering this, please. They think they’ve just got us figured out, then we suddenly start making noises like our bones are cracking and we’re bending in ways we shouldn’t! 

Don’t even get me started on how a contortionist would mess with their heads! 

[princessindigo]

When i was a kid i fell from the stairs and hit another kid's head with a crment block accidentally

Presumably, if adult humans are weird, then human kids must be weird as well. But of course, since aliens probably wouldn’t interact with human children too much, there might not be much about them in the human guide.

Imagine a human leaving her kid with an alien friend because her SO is sick and none of her human crewmates are able to act as babysitter and she’s got an important meeting. So she goes to the meeting and the alien takes her kid to one of the rooms in the ship that acts as a sort of play area.

Then, when the human comes out of the meeting, she picks her phone up and sees that she has some missed calls…

1st call: “Hey, Katie, it’s me, Grit. I know you’re probably in the meeting by now and can’t answer your phone, but I was just wondering… Jackie’s been chasing the other kids a lot, is she hunting them? Is that part of the whole predatory instincts thing? They all seem to be having fun— at least I think so, they’re all making that weird noise you guys make— but I just thought I’d let you know. And, um, listen… she’s not going to try and eat the ones she catches, is she?”

2nd call: “Hi, Katie, Grit again— look, I know that you guys are descended from tree climbing mammals and so your offspring need climbing equipment to satisfy those instincts— but there’s no way she’s supposed to be that high, right? None of the other parents are doing anything and I can’t go up and get her down because my hooves can’t get a grip on the frame. She’s right on top and— NO!<incomprehensible noises that sound like a cross between the moo of a cow and the bray of a donkey>— okay, so she’s swinging from the bars. One of the other humans just explained that that’s normal. He’s offered me some coffee, but I said no because I’m pretty sure that stuff’s toxic. I’ll try not to call again unless there is an emergency.”

3rd call: “I’m so sorry, Jackie’s been injured. She tripped over and seems to have lost a layer of skin from her knee. She’s making these noises and there’s liquid coming from her eye sockets and I don’t know what to do! Please pick up! There’s blood and the coffee offering human keeps saying she should suck the blood out or something. Is that a thing? Does your species’ saliva have healing properties? Shoud I call a medic?! Please pick up!”

4th call: “Sorry for that last message. Jackie seems to be doing fine now. I don’t know how— she should be laid out for weeks after an injury like that! Please, for my sanity, can you get a human babysitter next time?”

[princessindigo]

Thats met

*Horrified alien voice* So you’re telling me that you stick this blood-filled sack of skin and nerves inside of a moist, dripping flesh cavern, then millions of tiny white swimming worms come gushing out of the blood-filled sack and into that cavern, where they seek out this relatively giant “egg” and one of them invades and infects the egg… then the infected egg attaches itself to one of your internal organs, grows inside of you, and for nine entire months this parasite grows inside your body, eating your blood and squishing your organs, until it forces itself out of the same small opening the blood-filled sack went into, causing tearing, bleeding, pain, and screaming, there’s feces, piss, and effluvia EVERYWHERE, and even then you have to physically cut the parasite off of the host? And you could DIE doing all this? Then, the parasite is born helpless and is dependent on you for at least 16 MORE YEARS??? And this is how you REPRODUCE??!??! That’s like something out of a horror movie! On my planet, we just grow these buds that fall off, they go off and do their own thing, and don’t come back until they’re old enough to learn new things from us. Man, you humans are terrifying monstrosities!

What, there’s MORE? Wait, you mean that every month, the ones with the flesh caverns get punished by their bodies for not becoming infected with a parasite, by LOSING PARTS OF THEIR INTERNAL ORGANS, AND BLEEDING COPIOUSLY??? And they don’t DIE??? And this goes on every month for as long as FORTY YEARS??? Why aren’t you worshiping them as LIVING DEITIES??? I feel if they’re doing all that, they should be waited on hand and foot, with some of their devotees slitting their own throats in glorious self-sacrifice to the Great Bleeding Ones, at the very least.

[princessindigo]

And theres me imitating the sound of a dying geese

Music and Sonic Weaponry

The more I think about it, the more I realise that the fact there’s a subset of the human population that can modulate their voices at very specific frequencies would probably be absolutely baffling to aliens. Even more so that rather than using it to their advantage, they simply use this ability to entertain other humans.

Alien: “So wait, you can change the frequency of your voice at will?”

Human: “Yeah, it’s not a big deal or anything. I’ve always liked singing. I used to sing baritone in choir.”

Alien: “Baritone? Choir?”

Human: “Oh, humans who can sing are divided into usually four or six groups depending on their range. And a choir is a group composed of all these groups and we sing together.”

Alien: “… wait. You don’t all modulate in the same range of frequencies?”

Human: “Nope. In fact females usually sing at about twice the frequency of males.”

Alien: “Why?”

Human: “Never really thought of it. I guess it’s just because their voices are higher.”

Alien: “So is this choir like some sort of sonic attack squad?”

Human: “Not at all. We make music together. It’s fun and entertaining.”

Alien: “So you’re telling me you can modulate your voice to a frequency to a precision of less than 20 Hz and you use it for entertainment?!”

Human: “Yeah, pretty much.”

Alien: “And you have recordings of this?”

Human: “Yep.”

Alien: “Wow. I thought you guys were weird before I learned you manufacture sonic weapons and attacks for fun.”

[princessindigo]

Alien: You’re telling me that in times of great distress humans have been known to suddenly gain the strength necessary to lift objects more than a dozen times their own weight?!

Human: Yeah, it’s called “hysterical strength” and it usually happens in life-or-death situations, like when someone gets stuck under a car or something and someone lifts the car to get them out. We can’t really test it though, ‘cause it only happens spontaneously.

Alien: Humans have the ability to tap into untold strength and power and you don’t even know how you do it?

Human: Pretty much, yeah. We think it has something to do with temporary analgesia, so we just don’t feel the pain we should when we pick up a 3000-pound car.

Alien: YOUR PAIN RESPONSE JUST SHUTS OFF?

Human: Yeah, it’s like an adrenaline thing? Do you not have that?

Alien: Fuck you and your entire species of tiny juggernauts.

[princessindigo]

My mom trolled me by telling me on May 4th that it was mother's day and being the lazy ass i am, i panicked and spent the night AND the next morning to make it and it was HORRIBLE then on may 11th she told me it was on may 12 and I AM STUPID

kill me please

[princessindigo]

This

“This is your daily, friendly reminder to use commas instead of periods during the dialogue of your story,” she said with a smile.

[princessindigo]

This is so amazing wow

16 Villain Archetypes

The TYRANT: the bullying despot, he wants power at any price. He ruthlessly conquers all he surveys, crushing his enemies beneath his feet. People are but pawns to him, and he holds all the power pieces. Hesitate before getting in this man’s way – he’ll think nothing of destroying you. The BASTARD: the dispossessed son, he burns with resentment. He can’t have what he wants, so he lashes out to hurt those around him. His deeds are often for effect – he wants to provoke action in others. He proudly announces his rebellious dealings. Don’t be fooled by his boyish demeanor – he’s a bundle of hate. The DEVIL: the charming fiend, he gives people what he thinks they deserve. Charisma allows him to lure his victims to their own destruction. His ability to discover the moral weaknesses in others serves him well. Close your ears to his cajolery – he’ll tempt you to disaster. The TRAITOR: the double agent, he betrays those who trust him most. No one suspects the evil that lurks in his heart. Despite supportive smiles and sympathetic ears, he plots the destruction of his friends. Never turn your back on him — he means you harm. The OUTCAST: the lonely outsider, he wants desperately to belong. Tortured and unforgiving, he has been set off from others, and usually for good cause. He craves redemption, but is willing to gain it by sacrificing others. Waste no sympathy on him - he’ll have none for you. The EVIL GENIUS: the malevolent mastermind, he loves to show off his superior intelligence. Intellectual inferiors are contemptible to him and that includes just about everyone. Elaborate puzzles and experiments are his trademark. Don’t let him pull your strings – the game is always rigged in his favor. The SADIST: the savage predator, he enjoys cruelty for its own sake. Violence and psychological brutality are games to this man; and he plays those games with daring and skill. Run, don’t walk, away from this man – he’ll tear out your heart, and laugh while doing it. The TERRORIST: the dark knight, he serves a warped code of honor. Self-righteous, he believes in his own virtue, and judges all around him by a strict set of laws. The end will always justify his nefarious means, and no conventional morality will give him pause. Don’t try to appeal to his sense of justice – his does not resemble yours. The BITCH: the abusive autocrat, she lies, cheats, and steals her way to the top. Her climb to success has left many a heel mark on the backs of others. She doesn’t care about the peons around her – only the achievement of her dreams matters. Forget expecting a helping hand from her – she doesn’t help anyone but herself. The BLACK WIDOW: the beguiling siren, she lures victims into her web. She goes after anyone who has something she wants, and she wants a lot. But she does her best to make the victim want to be deceived. An expert at seduction of every variety, she uses her charms to get her way. Don’t be fooled by her claims of love – it’s all a lie. The BACKSTABBER: the two-faced friend, she delights in duping the unsuspecting. Her sympathetic smiles enable her to learn her victims’ secrets, which she then uses to feather her nest. Her seemingly helpful advice is just the thing to hinder. Put no faith in her – she’ll betray you every time. The LUNATIC: the unbalanced madwoman, she draws others into her crazy environment. The drum to which she marches misses many a beat, but to her, it is the rest of the world that is out of step. Don’t even try to understand her logic – she is unfathomable. The PARASITE: the poisonous vine, she collaborates for her own comfort. She goes along with any atrocity, so long as her own security is assured. She sees herself as a victim who had no choice, and blames others for her crimes. Expect no mercy from her – she won’t lift a finger to save anyone but herself. The SCHEMER: the lethal plotter, she devises the ruin of others. Like a cat with a mouse, she plays with lives. Elaborate plans, intricate schemes; nothing pleases her more than to trap the unwary. Watch out for her complex designs – she means you no good. The FANATIC: the uncompromising extremist, she does wrong in the name of good. She justifies hers action by her intent, and merely shrugs her shoulders at collateral damage. Anyone not an ally is an enemy, and therefore, fair game. Give up any hope of showing her the error of her ways – she firmly believes you are wrong, wrong, wrong. The MATRIARCH: the motherly oppressor, she smothers her loved ones. She knows what’s best and will do all in her power to controls the lives of those who surround her – all for their own good. A classic enabler, she sees no fault with her darlings, unless they don’t follow her dictates. Don’t be lured into her family nest – you’ll never get out alive.

[princessindigo]

Ok haha lòl

I have crippling anxiety

What are the stages of drafts? I'm trying to write my own book but I dont know how to draft properly and I feel like I'm gonna be stuck in a gutter if I don't know

Yesssssssssssssss someone finally asked it!!!

I’ve been waiting for the perfect opportunity to explain this and show everybody my inverted pyramid :D :D :D

I present, The Inverted Pyramid of Revising a Book

Now I’ll explain each section of the inverted pyramid:

THE FIRST DRAFT

This should be self-explanatory. You write the first draft. For novels, 75-150,000+ words of the world inside your head.

PLOT, CONTENT, SCENES, AND MAJOR CHARACTERS

Go back and fix it all up. Did you tell the story you wanted to tell? Did you include scenes and events that add up to the conclusion you present?

Are there any unnecessary scenes you could delete, or scenes that are redundant to other scenes? Get rid of them. If this means entire chapters have to go, wave bye-bye.

Do your main characters have believable back stories and arcs, and do they act appropriately in character at all times?

Is there any point in time when your characters do something that they literally WOULD NOT DO? Change that up.

WORLD-BUILDING, CHARACTERIZATION, HONING IN PLOT POINTS

Now pay attention to the deeper aspects of the story. Delve into the world your characters live in. Do they react appropriately? Does any part of society influence them more than others?

What does your world look like? Delve into the setting. The cultures, the technology, the history.

Work with your secondary characters and how they interact with your main characters. What role do they serve overall? Does the main character’s journey affect them at all, or vice versa?

Tighten up plot points. Stay concise if possible.

SENTENCE STRUCTURE, FLOW AND PACING OF SCENES

Now that the major parts of your story have been patted down, you can begin focusing on the technical stuff. Start broad.

Do you have redundant sentences? Do you start multiple sentences the same way?

Throw in short sentences.

Drop the pronoun from the beginning of a sentence every now and then.

Use commas instead of ‘and’ if you find you use ‘and’ a lot.

Does the flow of sentences and paragraphs fit with the tone of the scene?

Chop sentences apart. Use quick, sharp words.

Or combine sentences and flowery language and soft words.

BETA READER CRITIQUES AND SUGGESTIONS

Now that you’ve really patted this thing down, find people willing to read your work (hopefully for free).

Ask them to point out inconsistencies. Are they confused by anything?

Beta readers can tell you when things are boring or exciting. They’ll laugh. They’ll fangirl. They’ll beg you for more chapters.

Your brain is soft from so much revising. Beta readers are fresh, and will pick out things you’ve glossed over from seeing it so many times.

Shake things up and host a video chat for you and your betas! It’s a great way to make friends :)

PUNCTUATION AND MISSING WORDS

NOWWWWW you’ve finished all the major revisions and your story makes sense!!! All that’s left to do is get the broom and sweep it up (or the vacuum cleaner, or generate a black hole from the Large Hadron Collider to suck out all the errors because that’s super-effective**).

This is the nitty gritty stuff, and I highly recommend either forcing yourself to read really, really slow, or better yet, read your book out loud, start to finish.

You’ll trip up over misplaced commas and periods.

You’ll literally hear when a sentence is awkward.

Your brain will get confused when there’s a missing word.

Fill in the gaps, hammer down the boards, tidy up the place like you’ve got guests coming over.

THE FINAL DRAFT

OMG

OMG

OMG

OMG IT’S FINISHED AND YOU CAN SHARE IT WITH THE WORLD AND BUY PHYSICAL COPIES THAT YOU CAN HOLD AND SMELL AND RUB ALL OVER YOUR FACE AND DRAW IN AND DOG-EAR AND TOTE AROUND TO SHOW PEOPLE AND SIGN AUTOGRAPHS AND BECOME YOUR OWN LITTLE CELEBRITY!!!

Email the newspaper (I’ve appeared multiple times).

Email the local TV station (I’ve appeared on live TV).

Email book talk radio shows (I’ve had a Q&A for an hour on live radio).

……..Marketing is hard.

I hope that helps!

N.B. **please do not ask CERN for permission to use the Large Hadron Collider to create black holes that suck out all the errors in your book. You’ll look silly, and you might destroy Earth in the process.

[princessindigo]

Thanks

The Elements of Writing

(Took a few notes and added on about writing)

Focus: 

Setting: Where is the story/scene taking place? How well do the characters know their surroundings? What is the mood of the setting? 

Character: What are the relationships between characters? How is the protagonist displayed? 

Perspective/Point of View/Narrative Techniques: Is the piece written in first or third person? Do the perspectives switch? How does one character view another character? How do they show it? 

Things to Consider: 

Narrative and Technique

Flashback vs. Foreshadowing: Background information or signs leading to bigger events? Both? 

Frame story: Is this a story within a story? 

Pace: Fast-paced? Slow burn?

Character

Characterization: Alignment? Personality? Hero or villain? Anti-hero? 

Main vs. Secondary: How do the protagonist(s) interact with side characters? How are they distinguished? 

***Round vs. Flat:***: Establish your character to be a *round* character! What does this mean? A round character exhibits strong character development instead of a flat “Mary Sue” character (unless that is intentionally what you’re going for)

***Dynamic vs. Static***: Focus on creating *dynamic* characters. These figures are meant to be interesting, round, well-developed, and even can be redeeming. This mainly focuses on personality and how well a character is distinguished in order to make them memorable. Static characters are bland, easily forgettable and possibly side characters that are given no distinguished role. 

Conflict/Plot:

Meaning: What’s the plot of the story? What/Who caused the conflict? Why is there conflict?

*Note: Plot holes? - Whenever revising a story or any piece of writing, focus on the What and the How. 

What is affecting a character/setting/tone/perspective? 

How does the character/setting/tone/perspective change or shift? 

[princessindigo]

Amazing

every writing tip article and their mother: dont ever use adverbs ever!

me, shoveling more adverbs onto the page because i do what i want: just you fucking try and stop me

[princessindigo]

The boy looked up from his phone and smirked at his unsuspecting sister. He silently crept towards her and without warning, he screamed "YEET!" And threw a pillow in her direction. "What the heck, Jerry!?" She yelled back, as she threw the same pillow back at him. "Panget ka!" He unceremoniously ran out. His sister looked at him, eyes blank. "Nani?"

writing tip:

write what you love

know a lot about fashion? cool. Use that. clothes reflect culture and that’s pretty dang neat

you interested in languages? Throw me that vocab yo I might not understand but I’m here for it anyway

Burning passion for snails? awesome. work it in. you do you. show me what you love and why you love it and maybe I’ll come to love it too

an author’s vibe is contagious. if you’re bored and just doing a thing to tick a box, the reader will feel it

but if you pour passion into your work, we’ll know. Even if it’s not something we’d normally care much about, words written with love just glow

so write what you love. find what makes your heart sparkle. throw that crap into your work until it glitters like nothing else

after all–it’s your story. may as well have fun with it, right?

[princessindigo]

Ok?? Thanks???

Cure to Same Face Syndrome

i just gotta say that avoiding same face syndrome isn’t as easy as changing the curve of the eye

You gotta change the

eyebrows

Length, height, width, darkness, arch(es)

nose

bridge, tip, height, width and nostril

mouth

length, thickness of top and bottom, shape of top and bottom, overlap, curve, wrinkles, height, thickness, where the thickness is at, amount of gum showing, teeth

face shape

width, length, cheek bones, jaw width, chin shape, wrinkles, brow bones, hairline

eyes

shape of bottom lid and top lid, arch(es) of top fold, bottom fold, WRINKLES, corners, tear ducts, depth, discoloration, eyelashes

Don’t let a characters colors and hair identify them.

I mean look at these people, none of them have the same face. they all have simple differences.

I know that in art books it gives you specific guidlines of the anatomy of the face

WELL GUESS WHAT

THOSE DON’T APPLY TO EVERYONE

BEND THE RULES.

Feel free to take things into a different style on their face, add really random differences like one nostril being bigger than the other or the tear duct being covered or wonky lips or something

It happens to real people

it can happens to characters

[princessindigo]

Wow

“I have all these OCs! But no story…”

bruh

make a fighting game