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I hate calling in sick I don't want to inform anyone about my abnormal bowel movements
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seeing a black and white cow is always so damn awesome it’s like Hey i know that guy.from my kindergarten abcs
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my friend told me last night that he gets girls to come back to his place by telling them “oh i can’t wait to go home and have some stew” and “i’m so hungry, good thing i have stew at home” and it’s worked every time
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somewhere in an alternate universe mr breast just made a video giving 1000 people top surgery
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not enough fucked up little freak animals in the barbie movie. not enough busted ass capital-c Creatures. barbie god's™ mistakes.
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