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problem-prone · 13 days ago

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Here is my fic for @abysmalstarrs for the Pride Exchange run by @outsiders-gift-exchanges. This is four times Darry fell asleep on Paul and the one time Paul fell asleep on Darry. I hope you enjoy!

Small TW: queer is used in a negative connotation once in the last section

1. The whole bus was riding on the high of a win, Paul included. It was their final game of the season, and they had won in a landslide, securing their spot in the finals. Paul was filled with pride for his team. Though, he was mostly proud of Darry, who had completed their winning touchdown. He hadn’t been able to contain his excitement when he had immediately run over and scooped Darry up into a giant hug. Their teammates had been too caught up to notice the way Paul’s eyes shined when Darry was in his arms.

Darry was occupied talking to one of the freshmen on the team. Paul couldn’t take his eyes off him. The way his hair kept flopping in his eyes, the way his arms tensed on the seat in front of him; it was all very distracting.

Paul figured out he had feelings for Darry at the beginning of the school year. They had been at a party one of the seniors was throwing to “get to know” the rest of the football team. Darry hadn’t wanted to go, but Paul convinced him to go, saying they could leave at any time.

That was the night Paul learned that Darry gets touchy when he’s drinking. He had only had one beer, but that was enough to have him hanging off of Paul for most of the night. He drove Darry home that night and got him into bed, when Darry whispered a quiet “I love you,” before promptly falling asleep. Paul is sure he doesn’t remember it, but Paul replays that moment in his head whenever he needs a pick-me-up.

A nudge to his ribs pulled Paul out of his thoughts. “Hello, Earth to Holden?” Darry said with a smile on his face, and he couldn’t help but grin back.

“Sorry, just thinking about that killer win we just had. You were great out there, Curtis.” Darry ducked his head, but Paul could still see the blush creeping up on his cheeks.

Darry picked his head back up and looked at Paul. “Yeah, well, all that work made me exhausted, I feel like I can barely hold my head up.” He hadn’t noticed, but there were huge dark circles under Darry’s eyes, like he hadn’t slept in weeks.

Paul patted his shoulder. “We still got around an hour before we get home, why don’t you get some rest? I’ll wake you up when we get back.” Darry hesitated for a second before laying his head on Paul’s shoulder. Everyone else seemed preoccupied in their own little worlds, so Paul took advantage of the situation and wrapped an arm around Darry’s shoulders. They were both out like a light in seconds.

When Darry had asked him after math class if he could come over to study for the test they had the next day, Paul very quickly said yes. He was useless when it came to the subject, and he wanted to spend as much time with Darry as possible.

So when the final bell rang, Paul gathered his stuff and walked out to his car, where Darry was already waiting by the passenger side door. He jogged the rest of the way to unlock it so they could get in.

The drive to Paul’s house was mostly quiet, except for Darry softly humming along to the radio. Some Patsy Cline song was playing, and Paul didn’t care for her music, but Darry did. So Paul let it play the whole way.

When they got to his house, Paul grabbed both his and Darry’s bags, which made him smile. “Look at you being a gentleman,” Darry said as a laugh escaped his lips. Only for you, Paul thought. Thankfully, his parents weren’t home, so they could go straight up to his room.

Paul set the bags on the floor and flopped straight on his bed. This wasn’t he first time the two of them had been alone together in his room. For some reason, it felt different this time. There was a quiet anxiety sitting in his chest, particularly when he looked at Darry, who was taking his books out of his bag, and oh.

Paul might be in love with him. Shit.

He shook the thought out of his head and gathered up his own study materials. “I feel like I’m totally going to fail this test,” Paul sighed as he opened his textbook.

Darry shook his head and took a seat on the other side of the bed. “That’s why we’re studying together, I’m not gonna let you fail,” he said with a softness in his eyes that was usually reserved for his brothers. That look alone felt like being wrapped in a warm safety blanket.

They worked together on practice problems for hours, and each answer Paul got correct would earn him a smile from Darry and the occasional, “nice one, Holden.” It was close to eight when they decided to call it a night. After putting their stuff away, Paul sat cross-legged on his bed while Darry lay on his side. He could tell that Darry was starting to fall asleep, but he didn’t have the heart to disturb him.

In his tired state, Darry’s head had somehow found its way onto his lap. Paul sat tense, like someone who was scared of waking up a sleeping cat. He knew he should wake Darry up, drive him home so he could sleep in his bed, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it.

Yeah, Paul thought, I’m definitely in love with him.

3. Paul hadn’t seen Darry at school for two days, and he was starting to get worried. He usually had perfect attendance; the only thing that would stop him from coming to school would be if he were dying.

On the third day of his abscence, Paul could feel the dread creeping in. He felt so incomplete without Darry by his side. Like a piece of his soul went missing. When school finally let out, Paul made his way to his car as quickly as he could. He drove over to the Curtis house, probably a little faster than he should have.

Paul had only been inside the Curtis house once, the day he dropped Darry off after the football party. He knew they had an open-door policy, that he was always welcome to just come on in. Yet when he got to the door, he hesitated to open it. He raised his hand to knock when Mrs.Curtis opened the door, apron around her waist. “Paul, good to see you! Why don’t you come on in?”

Nodding his head, Paul crossed the threshold and took a look around the living room. It was a lot homier than his own house. Shoes were scattered on the floor, Pony’s books on the coffee table, and the faint hint of vanilla permeated the air. “Hi, Mrs.Curtis, I’m here to check on Darry. He hasn’t been at school in a few days, and I was getting worried,” he said, putting on the mask of charm he used around adults.

Paul could tell she saw straight through it with the way her eyes softened. “Oh, he’s had the flu since this weekend. Poor thing has been bedridden for days.” Paul let out a little sigh, glad to know Darry wasn’t gravely injured or dead somewhere.

Paul let his mask fall and his genuine concern take over. “Can I go in and see him for a little bit? I promise I won’t get him too riled up.”

Mrs.Curtis smiled and pointed towards Darry’s room, though Paul already knew where it was. “Alright, but make sure you wash your hands before you leave, Darry’ll be kicking himself if he gets you sick.” Paul nods enthusiastically and makes his way towards Darry’s room,

The hesitancy to knock on the front door dissipates when he gets to Darry’s room. He may feel like a guest in the Curtis house, but any space that is Darry’s has always felt like home. He creaks open the door and sees Darry curled on his side, facing away from the door. “Darry,” Paul whispers, “you awake?”

Darry makes a little noise and turns slightly towards the door. “Paul?” Paul smiled and sat down on the edge of Darry’s bed. He could tell Darry was sick by just looking at him. His eyes were sunken in and had turned into a dull gray, and his hair was free of his usual grease. He looked awful, but Paul still thought he was beautiful.

“You look like hell, Curtis, and you scared me disappearing like that. Thought you died or something.” Darry let out a small laug,h and Paul took that as a win.

“Not dead,” Darry responded, his voice quiet like it hurt him to talk, “just feel like I’m dying.” Paul couldn’t help but want to kiss his forehead and hold him until he felt better. Run his fingers through his hair and magically make his pain go away.

Man, he was fucked.

Paul looked down at Darry and the pitiful look on his face and knew he had to do something about it. “Alright, scooch over.” Darry furrowed his brows in confusion but did as Paul asked. He lifted the blanket and slotted himself next to Darry, feeling the heat radiating off of him.

“I don’t wanna get you sick.” Paul shrugged and tugged him over so Darry’s head was nestled in the space between his head and neck.

“I don’t care if I get sick, I only care that you’re comfortable.” Paul felt Darry sniff, but he assumed it was just from being sick. His hand found its way between Darry’s shoulder blades and began slowly rubbing up and down. “Why don’t you get some rest?”

Darry nodded and fluttered his eyes closed. Paul felt his breathing slowly even out. He knew Darry was a deep sleeper, that he could easily slip out from under him and he would be none the wiser. The idea of leaving him tugged on Paul’s heart, so he stayed right where he was.

And when he got sick a few days later, he didn’t regret it one bit.

4. On the rare occasion that Darry’s house would be empty, he would often call Paul over to keep him company. He appreciated his alone time, but he also loved spending time with Paul. So when his parents were on a date, Soda was doing God knows what with Steve, and Pony was working on some project with Johnny at the library, he had called Paul, who was immediately on his way.

Paul had become quite the staple in the Curtis household. He was no longer nervous to knock on the door. Instead, he would stride on in like he owned the place. He practically spent more time on their couch or in Darry’s room than he spent in his own home. So when the opportunity to come over would arise, he’d be there in a heartbeat.

Things had been different between him and Darry since the flu debacle two weeks ago. Not bad, just different. It’s like some kind of switch flipped. Darry was less hesitant to be physically affectionate when they were in private, and he had started telling Paul how much he cared about him almost all the time. It made Paul’s head spin. There was no way Darry could ever love him the same way Paul loved him; that just wouldn’t make sense.

The whole drive to the Curtis house, he went back and forth with himself about telling Darry about his feelings. On one hand, they would no longer be devouring his soul from the inside out. On the other hand, he could ruin his whole relationship with Darry.

And Paul didn’t think he could survive Darry ever hating him.

He pulled into the driveway and took a deep breath before getting out of his car. Darry was already on the porch, wearing a pair of sweatpants and his hair ungreased, the way Paul once told him looked good on him.

“Hey you,” Darry said, a smile on his lips. Paul smiled back and let Darry lead him into the house. Toeing off his shoes, he could tell that Darry was making dinner from the smell that flowed through the air. “I hope you don’t mind spaghetti, cuz that was all we had in the house that I know how to make.” Darry rubbed the back of his nec,k and Paul could feel the underlying nervousness that seemed to radiate off of him.

“Spaghetti sounds perfect, you’ll make a nice housewife some day.” Darry laughed, jabbing his shoulder into the other’s. Paul grabbed plates and silverware out of the cabinets while Darry finished up the food. They ate in relative silence, occasionally sharing something about their day or something stupid one of their other friends had done.

Darry went to stand up to do the dishes once they were finished, but Paul put his hand on his. He couldn’t wait any longer, he needed to tell Darry how he felt. “Wait, can I, can I talk to you about something?” Darry’s brows furrowed, and Paul desired to smooth out the crease that had formed there with his thumb.

Despite his confusion, Darry nodded and sat back down. “You can tell me anything,” he reassured, “you know that.”

Paul let out a nervous laugh and started twisting the rings on his fingers. “No point in stalling, I guess. Look Darry, you know I really care about you. You were one of the first people to welcome me when I moved here, and I am so grateful. And I don’t want to fuck this up.” Paul could feel the tears begin to well up in his eyes, and he couldn’t stand to look at Darry anymore. “But I love you. Like I’m actually cripplingly in love with you. And I totally understand if you hate me now, but I just couldn’t sit on this anymore.” He was crying in earnest now, fat tears rolling down his cheeks in fear.

When he finally looked back up, he was staring directly into Darry’s dumbfounded face. “You love me? Since when?”

Paul wiped the tears off his face and sighed. “Since September. Look, I understand if you want me to go, just say the word and I’ll go.” He was prepared for rejection. He was prepared for Darry to call him something mean and tell him to get the hell out of his house. What he wasn’t prepared for, was Darry pulling Paul straight into his arms in a crushing hug. He burrowed his head into Darry’s shoulder and just let the tears flow. All of the pain and fear seemed to fade away when they were like this together.

Darry’s hand found its way between his shoulder blades, and any remaining tension just melted away. It seemed like hours passed before Darry pulled back to look Paul in the eyes. “It’ll take a lot more than you loving me for me to go anywhere. Besides, I can’t really be upset when I feel the same way.”

Paul felt his heart skip a beat. “You do?” Darry nodded his head, and Paul couldn’t stop the goofy smile that crept on his face. “I didn’t think I’d get this far, so now I don’t know what to do.”

Darry laughed and put his hand on Paul’s cheek. “Well, I would like to kiss you, if that's okay?” Paul didn’t even give him an answer. He just pulled Darry in and pressed their lips together. The kiss was short and sweet, perfect for their first. Both of them were stood in the kitchen, smiling like two middle school girls. “Don’t think your little love confession got you out of helping me with the dishes.”

The two of them worked in sync to wash the dishes, with Darry washing and Paul drying them. “Now, what do you say we go watch some TV together? I bet one of those Westerns you like is on.”

Darry finished putting the dishes away in their proper places. “You hate those Westerns, though.”

Paul flipped on the TV before dropping onto the couch. “Yeah, but you love them, so I’ll suffer through one. Only one though, that's where my patience ends.” Darry laughed and curled up on the couch next to him.

During one of the more boring scenes, Paul’s fingers found themselves in Darry’s hair, running through the strands and scratching at his scalp. Darry let out a huge sigh, and the tightness he always seemed to carry in his shoulders disappeared. “If ya keep doing that, I’m gonna knock right on out.”

Paul chuckled and kissed the top of his head. “Oh, so you do have an off switch? Go ahead and fall asleep, I’ll still be right here.” That was the only reassurance he needed before his eyes fluttered closed. Paul stared at his peaceful face before falling asleep too.

+1 The creak of the front door opening pulled Darry out of his English homework. He assumed it was Steve or Johnny, since it was cold out and neither of them would want to sleep in the lot. He wasn’t prepared for the head of curls that stepped inside. Even in the dim light of the living room, Darry could see the tear tracks on his cheeks. “Jesus, what the hell happened?”

Paul didn’t respond. Quietly shutting the door behind him, he made a beeline for Darry, who was now standing up by the kitchen table and buried his face in his neck. Darry could feel the tears wetting his shirt but he didn’t care. He wrapped his arms around Paul, one hand creeping up to cradle the back of his head. They stood like that for what felt like an eternity before Paul pulled away.

He wiped the tears from his cheeks before whispering, “my dad was hounding on me again. Can I crash here?”

Darry smiled and pressed a kiss to the top of Paul’s head. “Of course you can. Do you wanna go to bed or do you wanna sit up for a bit?” Paul looked down and chewed on his lip, like he was afraid to choose the wrong thing. Darry wished he could just sweep Paul up and protect him from all of the bad in the world. He couldn’t do that, but he can hold his hand through it all.

“Can we just go to bed? Kinda just want you to hold me right now.” Darrry nodded, placing a hand on his lower back and leading Paul to his bedroom. Paul took no time in toeing off his shoes and taking off his jacket.

Darry flicked on his bedside lamp and crawled into bed, patting the space beside him. Paul climbed in and curled up on his side. Darry’s arm slinked around his waist, breathing in the woody scent of his cologne.

He had never seen Paul like this. Paul was the kind of guy who tried to take up space in a room. The guy who would make himself the life of the party because of his innate desire to be liked by everyone. This Paul was different. Instead of taking up space, he seemed to shrink down as if he was trying to be invisible. And Darry hated every second of it.

“He told me he was disappointed to have a queer for a son.” Darry’s arm instinctively held onto him tighter, like he could take his pain away with just a touch. “I don’t think he knows about us, but I gotta feeling he knows about me.” Darry wanted to kill him, but he knew that would only spell trouble for everyone.

He found Paul’s hand and squeezed it, a silent acknowledgement that he was here. “I don’t know what I did for him to hate me so much. I do everything he wants. I play football, I get good grades, I’m on the student council. Fuck,” Paul’s voice cracked slightly and Darry could tell he was fighting back tears, “I don’t even fucking like football. But it’s never enough for him. I can pour my sweat and tears into something and he’ll be asking why I didn’t include my blood too. I’m sick and tired of living in the shadow of what he could never achieve.”

Whatever dam was holding back the flow of tears broke as Paul began fully sobbing in Darry’s arms. He could do nothing but rub his thumb along the back of Paul’s hand and whisper soft reassurances. “Listen. One day, you and I’ll get out of Tulsa. I don’t wanna go too far from home cause I’ll miss my family like crazy, but far enough that we ain’t feel the pressure of what everyone in this city wants us to be. What do you say?”

Darry could feel Paul nod his head. His shoulders stopped shaking. “I don’t want to be a lawyer like my dad wants. I think I wanna try and get real good at art and stuff, maybe make a living off it.”

“I think I wanna be a teacher,” Darry says, “like an elementary English teacher. I like books enough to do it. Or maybe gym. I just wanna work with kids.” Paul sighed and let himself sink into the mattress. “Maybe we can get a house together, somewhere quiet.”

“That sounds like a plan to me. Anywhere is better than here.” Darry brushed his lips against Paul’s temple before settling down again.

“We just gotta get done with high school and college. Then we can settle down and live out the rest of our days doing and being with who we love. I’ll even build you a little art studio. And we’ll be free.”

When Paul’s breath began to even out, Darry started humming the song his Mama used to sing when he was little. Within seconds, he could tell Paul was asleep. “I love you,” he whispered, “and I’ll always protect you.”

#the outsiders 2025 pride month gift exchange #the outsiders #the outsiders musical #darry curtis #paul holden #paul x darry #artist!paul #is it me if it isn't a little angsty #sunshine speaks #sunshine writes #FAFT mirror #blink and you'll miss it #parry #peril

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