prodigaldaughter

[prodigaldaughter]

So Army of the Dead fired Chris d'Elia for being a fucking sexual predator. The problem is they had already shot the whole movie. So how did they move forward? They edited out the whole man and instead threw TIG NOTARO in the whole movie via green screen and special effects. Oh, and her promo images? A gift to the gays.

[prodigaldaughter]

[prodigaldaughter]

the bride by Ana Luísa Pinto [Luminous Photography] on Flickr.

[prodigaldaughter]

Dolores Wants a Taxi, New York (Vogue), William Klein, 1958

[prodigaldaughter]

[prodigaldaughter]

high tide and low tide in great britain. photographs by michael marten

[prodigaldaughter]

Vicki Witt (1978)

[prodigaldaughter]

Why am I back on Tumblr?

To drop the bomb I thought WandaVision was a bit meh, unleash my darkest thoughts, reblog some Halloween stuff then dissaper obv.

[prodigaldaughter]

Grief

Grief is unreal.

My grief hit me on the 12th March 2021 at 12.45pm...ish. I was working at the Covid job and I had just found out I had been accepted on to a Masters degree. I ran outside to call my gran, I didn't even think, then it hit me.

Since July I've threw myself into work more than I even have before and anything else that will keep my attention. I feel empty and I can't fill this horribly lingering void. People are me am I okay and in my typical Glaswegian way I say “Aye getting there” and laugh. I am not “getting there” I am far for anywhere right now.

I don’t know how to ask for help.

My life is not bad. My life is good, not brilliant, but it is good. For the first time since I was very young I have money for rent, food, bills and a little extra. A partner who does want to be married, does not want more children and believes in me, FYI I don’t want children at all or marriage... unless it’s in Vegas in a gold lame dress. He is a good man. My mum is healthy, my brother is doing well, I am slooowwly crawling towards a PhD and achieved a First for my Bachelors.

...but I don’t have her, I don’t have my hero, I don’t have my favourite person, my best friend is gone.

People say “oh she’s all around you” but I can’t feel her, I can’t see her and I can’t hear her. No matter how hard I look. I feel like I will never be dry, I always feel damp because I cry so much. I feel like a part of me is gone and it will never be back. I feel like that spark I had is gone, I have no guiding light. It’s just me stuck in a tunnel of self loathing and anger blaming myself for things I cannot fix and that are not my fault. Nothing makes sense.

I would give anything to hear her shout at me for the colour of my hair or tell me not to come crawling to her if I fall and break my legs on my roller skates... but also knowing fine well she’d have them on her feet within 10 minutes and I’d be rolling her around. I would give anything for her to have one more day, with clarity and no illness and flowers and her dogs and Doris Day playing in the background.

I miss her so much, I hope she misses me.

Image: Redwood Streets

Model: Me

[prodigaldaughter]

Grief was what you owed the dead for the necessary crime of living on without them

Kamila Shamsie, Home Fire (via star011)

[prodigaldaughter]

“We could fuck in our clothes, We could sleep in our pants,I will crash at yours and you will crash at mine And we would stay in bed 99% of the given time

Leave this loveless lonely behind

'cause you've been searching up and down and all around

And there's no nice boys in London town I can sympathize 'cause I've been searching too, Yet to find a girl half as good as you You're just not paying attention, You're sitting in your kitchen and you're bitching about rejection

We're cheating the world out of a fairytale love and conclusion

And that's not really fair on us all”

<3

[prodigaldaughter]

I think we drink virgin blood because it sounds cool. I think of it like this. If you are going to eat a sandwich, you would just enjoy it more if you knew no one had fucked it.

What We Do in the Shadows (2014) dir. Taika Waititi & Jemaine Clement

[prodigaldaughter]

A year ago I lost my number 1 boyfriend which 100% why explains why I pretty much hate everything already this week. He was literally constantly covered in strippers, he stole my blanket and he was grumpier than my granny.....and I loved him so much for it. Through every frigging broken heart, every time I didn't feel right and everytime I was on the floor and didn't think I'd get back up. My Cooper was there ❤️ #boxer #boxersofinstagram #slobberchops #blanketthief #bestie #dogsofinstagram

[prodigaldaughter]

A year ago I lost my number 1 boyfriend which 100% why explains why I pretty much hate everything already this week. He was literally constantly covered in strippers, he stole my blanket and he was grumpier than my granny.....and I loved him so much for it. Through every frigging broken heart, every time I didn't feel right and everytime I was on the floor and didn't think I'd get back up. My Cooper was there ❤️ #boxer #boxersofinstagram #slobberchops #blanketthief #bestie #dogsofinstagram

[prodigaldaughter]

A year ago I lost my number 1 boyfriend which 100% why explains why I pretty much hate everything already this week. He was literally constantly covered in strippers, he stole my blanket and he was grumpier than my granny.....and I loved him so much for it. Through every frigging broken heart, every time I didn't feel right and everytime I was on the floor and didn't think I'd get back up. My Cooper was there ❤️ #boxer #boxersofinstagram #slobberchops #blanketthief #bestie #dogsofinstagram