professor-cold-ramen - Tumblr blog

[professor-cold-ramen]

Spiderman starts doing birthday parties to make ends meet but has to compete with all the other fake Spidermen who are better at balloon animals and face paint

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out of touch thursday the 20th.........

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rose tyler hated her shitty job, wore £1 mascara, charity shop sweatpants, boxed hair bleach, couldn't keep her room clean, hated rich people, was called a slag by the queen, constantly chat shit about her mum, slapped a guy that made her mum cry, astonished herself when she could do maths, 19 year old runaway, and the most beautiful woman on my tv 2005 - 2006

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your honour my client merely just got a little bit genghis khan

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If someone called me grotesque I think I would just start crying

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"That's Piglet. With a gun."

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A Vulcan named Stork works at the Terran adoption agency. Parents always request that he be the one to deliver their child to them.

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And I hope no one gets mad about me calling God wild. I don't mean it in a bad way. As someone who came from a pagan faith, the one thing that kept me crawling back to it again and again was me feeling too "wild" for the Christian faith. Like, you can have a deep and abiding love for nature and respect for your place in it, and still love God. I say again, God made us and nature. What's not to love about the home He lovingly crafted in perfect balance for us? Nature is filled with daily miracles!

And He made us in His image. When I see a child jumping in puddles on a rainy day, I see the love for life that God has imbuing that child. When I see someone climbing a sheer cliff face, I see God's strength and tenacity and determination fueling that rockclimber onwards and upwards. So if you are primal and wild, that's okay. You're not some heathen; God made you that way.

[professor-cold-ramen]

What is it about The Boys that makes it everything you do *not* want in a superhero story?

I do not, and I can't state this strongly enough, give a flying fuck what superheroes might be like in the """"real world"""". I do not care at all. I hate that premise. I despise it. I want it to be tortured and beheaded on a dark web livestream.

I don't want to see terrible stand ins for my childhood heroes turned into murderers and rapists and strawmen for whatever current day issues the writers don't understand this year. I don't want to see superheroes used to tell the same tired ass defeatist bullshit story that life is bad and people are awful and everyone is a piece of shit and there's no good or evil just shades of grey and blah blah blah blah

BORING!

BORING BORING!

BORING!!!!!

I want superheroes to fight super villains. I want good guys to be good and bad guys to be bad. I want hopeful stories of people being better than the narcissists and psychopaths we see on the news every day. I want heroes that exemplify the best of America and American values without narratively apologizing for shit that happened 100 years ago. I want superheroes to be role models again. I want a child to be able to pick up a comic and be told that the world isn't an awful place. That friendship and love is real and standing up for what's right is a reward in itself. I want superhero stories to kill jaded cynicism and embrace genuineness and optimism.

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GUARDS! take him to the top of a beautiful hill and make him watch the sunset with no camera

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Because of the unpredictable nature of chatbots, there's always a risk of their posts getting nuked from reddit so I needed to take a screenshot to make sure that my favourite AI generated post of all time will always be safe

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Die temu ad die

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*progressively unbuttons my hawaiian shirt* (this is NOT sexual I just want to be retired and living in Daytona Beach)

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Blackout poetry exists on a dual axis from "banal" to "insightful" on the input side and "kind of deep" to "incredibly fucking dumb" on the output side, and while taking something banal and producing something kind of deep is well and fine, for my money taking something insightful and rendering it incredibly fucking dumb is where the real art is.

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Now we're asking the important questions 👏