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stop being silly in front of me

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Ngl I totally forgot fandom discourse was a thing. I don’t care man, I have car payments

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Some iconic Dick moments part 1

His elemental power is ✨️gymnast💫

You can take the kid out of the circus not the circus out the kid

Bruce looks so funny at the first panel and Dick like "so what :^"

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Damian Wayne becoming the Dr. House of DC excepts he physically fights patients who disagree with him

Damian becoming the Doctor of the family, treating the Bats when they're injured, and taking care of them... But doing so in the most evil unhinged ways possible.

Damian, injecting something into Bruce's arm: I'll give you an anesthetic but you are in no condition to fight, Father. You'll be on bed rest until I clear you.

Bruce, already standing up, no fucks given: Thanks, Damian. But I really need to catch these people, they are– They–

Bruce: *Begins to stumble in place* They– y-you–

Damian:

Bruce, falling to the ground: W-what did you–?

*Evil boss music starts playing in the background*

Damian, slowly approaching: Oh, sorry, did I said I would give you anesthetic? I meant to say a paralyzing agent.

Bruce:

Damian: Don't worry, Father, Black Bat will take care of the case...

Damian, carrying Bruce back to bed:And you, as I said, will be on bed rest until I clear you.

*Evil music intensifies*

*After training*

Damian: I made limonade.

Dick, reaching for a glass: Thanks, Dam—

Damian: Not that one. That one is Drake's.

Dick: Oh–

Damian, handing Dick a glass: This one is yours.

Dick: Oh.

Damian:

Dick:

Dick: Did you- Did you put something in Tim's?

Damian:

Dick:... Did you put something in mine?

Damian:

Dick:What did you p–

Damian: Drink it, Grayson. It's good for you.

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thinking about creatures.

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man supernatural might be bad but also ill be damned if thats not the most american show ever. like theres movies and tv that've tried to be this american but 99% have failed. you watch a particularly good episode of supernatural and suddenly you feel the hours of highway winds against your skin and theres more asphalt road than livable terrain for miles and you eat the best meal of your life at a pit stop and you havent gone to church since you were a kid but you still think about praying sometimes and you split a 6 pack with someone you love and a few too many people around you have guns and the land around you is so big when youre right in the center of it you feel like it could swallow you up and you know for a fact theres an unimaginable amount of mythology just beneath the surface. and then you watch the next episode where sam kills paris hilton or something

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Jason started a side business as Gotham's most feared mediator. His success rate is 100%, mostly because people are too terrified to continue arguing.

Random Gotham Citizen: ranting My neighbor keeps playing music too loud—

Jason: What kind of music?

Citizen: Does it matter?

Jason: If it's good music, I'll ask them to turn it down. If it's bad music, I'll make sure they never play music again.

Citizen: ...it's country pop?

Jason: cracks knuckles Oh, we're gonna have a conversation about their taste AND their volume.

———

Steph: I heard you mediated a custody dispute between two villains over who gets to keep the hyena.

Jason: Harley won. Obviously. But now the hyena is trained to growl every time it hears Pitbull music.

Cass: Scary. But effective.

Jason: Put that on my business card.

———

Bruce: reading an official letter from the GCPD “Red Hood has resolved 34 neighbor disputes, de-escalated 11 road rage incidents, and mediated a PTA meeting that was about to turn into a fistfight over bake sale proceeds.” Jason. What are you doing?

Jason: kicking his boots off They weren’t resolving it themselves. I’m empowering the community.

Dick: By threatening to shove subwoofers up their—

Jason: Allegedly.

Tim: To be fair, noise complaints in Crime Alley are down.

Jason: Thank you, runt. See? Tim gets it. 

Tim: I didn't say it was legal. 

Jason: Details, Timmy. Details.

Damian: Fear is a valid deterrent. I approve. But next time, invite me. I wish to deliver an informed lecture on dubstep.

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Tim and Damian hearing stories from Dick and Jason about when they were younger together and finding them disturbingly similar to their own relationship. they become best friends out of horror at the thought of being anything like them.

dick: haha yeah i remember i used to HATE jason,

jason: oh you despised me

dick: -I REALLY DID i don’t even know why, i think i was just mad at you for being robin; like i felt like my place in the family was being ripped away.

jason: and i hated you because you were a prick. it was wild, we used to fuck with each other so much

dick: DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN I TRIED TO SHOVE YOU OFF THAT WATER TOWER?!

jason: oh- HOLY SHIT I DO! AND I FUCKING BROKE MY WRIST AND ALFRED MADE YOU CLEAN ALL THE SKIRTING BOARDS IN THE MANOR?

dick: YEAH-! i don’t even remember why i did that

jason: wasn’t it because i told that girl you liked that you had herpes?

dick: no… that was when i left you stranded in canada. i think this was because you stole my favourite mug.

jason: oh yeahhhh, and i threw it at the windshield of your new car and shattered the glass?

dick: OH YEAH!!!! that was actually pretty badass like you hit the centre on, dead bullseye

jason: right?!?! fuckin’ deserved though, for calling me a bitchy sparrow instead of robin for an ENTIRE WEEK of patrols

dick: we really were troubled kids…

jason: the good ol’ days…

tim and damian, watching in silence:

tim:

damian:

tim: ok fine i’ll give you your paintbrushes back just please god don’t let us be like them in the future.

damian: i too apologise for any injustice i have caused you. we must rectify this massive mistake we have been making.

dick and jason, finally remembering the two are there: eh?

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Victor Frankenstein syndrome aka you spent nights over nights crying and bleeding over this work and now that it's finally done you're just like "nvm. it's trash" and go to bed

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ok no actually the funniest way Talia should be shamed for having a one night stand with Jason during his league days is if Damian finds out and refuses to stop referring to Jason as ‘step-father’.

Damian: i request more training with step-father to improve my blade wielding abilities.

Jason, looking up and blinking: wait is that me?

Jason:

Jason: cool.

Jason, turning to Talia: i don’t mind training my step-son.

Talia:

Talia: he isn’t your step-son.

Damian: yes i am.

Talia: Damian, no. he can’t be your father. he’s seventeen.

Damian: oh and that’s an issue is it?

Talia:

Damian:

Jason: *grinning in delight at the family drama*

-later, upon Damian’s arrival in Gotham-

Bruce: and these are your brothers,

Damian: ah yes, i am aware of them.

Damian, nodding at the batkids: Grayson, Drake,

Damian, turning to Jason: step-father,

Jason, solemnly: step-son. good to see you again.

Bruce, having a heart attack: imsorryexcusemewhatnow-?

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people think writers make good English teachers but the opposite is true. sixth grader asks why she can’t start a sentence with “and” and im like idk girlie grammar is a construct and language is a fluid gelatinous animal. people used to write “thou” and they were being totally unironic about it. start your sentences with an exclamation point for all i care. a+

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Oh, wyrm?

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I'm gonna be real I don't think anyone is ever gonna figure out Danny Phantom is living teenager Danny Fenton unless they see him transform. Because like. What the fuck is a half-ghost. Makes no fucking sense. If Danny Fenton is dead surely someone would have noticed by now.

What I think is more likely is that someone notices Danny Fenton bears a striking resemblance to Danny Phantom and delicately (or not so delicately) asks if he has an uncle or something who died young and that's why his parents are super into ghosts.

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I am a huge fan of retiring to my quarters

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i was inspired by this post 

also here’s the full cover art