pumpkinetics

[pumpkinetics]

Clinging

[pumpkinetics]

My three girlfriends. And yes, they smoke weed.

[pumpkinetics]

what I think will happen if I message my mutuals

[pumpkinetics]

What is your stance on the issues?

[pumpkinetics]

i went to the aquarium the other week and hand to god every single seahorse was pregnant. it was like ao3 in there

[pumpkinetics]

[pumpkinetics]

(Sound on.) We’re all doomed.

[pumpkinetics]

Squidward clocking out of the Krusty Krab and heading to the nearest gay after hours event 

[pumpkinetics]

current mantra

[pumpkinetics]

THE SHAPE MY FUCKING CAT IS MAKING RIGHT NOW?

[pumpkinetics]

Medieval Scooby

[pumpkinetics]

Jeff is the head editor at Atlantica Magazine, but he hasn’t been writing much. The Tromp administration is hard to get a beat on, throwing out so much absurdity that it feels like nothing even matters anymore. He wants a story that will make a difference, and it’s not as if those just fall into your lap. But when Jeff’s phone suddenly buzzes with a new text message, that’s exactly what happens. Now Jeff is privy to a chat thread of top-secret information from Tromp’s under-qualified, highly-ignorant inner circle, and it’s looking like a real story. It’s also looking like a total hunk. Soon enough, Jeff and the physical manifestation of this egregiously handled group text containing highly sensitive government information are locked in the heat of gay, erotic passion, and he’s about to pound out a story that he never could’ve imagined. This erotic tale is 4,100 words of sizzling human on gay physically manifested leaked text action, including anal, blowjobs, rough sex, and living group chat love.

----

please enjoy new tingler JOURNALIST POUNDED BY THE PHYSICAL MANIFESTATION OF AN EGREGIOUSLY MISHANDLED GROUP TEXT FROM MEMBERS OF THE TROMP ADMINISTRATION CONTAINING HIGHLY SENSITIVE GOVERNMENT INFORMATION out now here or on patreon

[pumpkinetics]

miserable that there is no way 2 avoid being treated as either a man or woman

[pumpkinetics]

[pumpkinetics]

btw being excessively nonconfrontational is NOT a positive trait. it does not mean u are “too nice” or just too kind to hurt people, it means u have a problem communicating and you need to work on it.

[pumpkinetics]

I took a 6yo boy to his placement and as soon as I got him situated in the back he saw my SpongeBob driver’s license air freshener hanging on my rearview mirror. He asked if that’s really SpongeBob’s driver’s license and I said yeah it’s real. Then he asked where I got it if SpongeBob’s underwater so I told him I wore a helmet like Sandy and stole it from SpongeBob when he slept, and without missing a beat he goes “That’s identity fraud”