your mom kills me by overwatering me the ONE weekend she visits, you throw me out in the trash and scrape the alfedro sauce that's been sitting in your fridge for two months over my corpse, your lemon scented glad trash bag hides news of my death // mid-twenties, lesbian
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
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the purest form of serotonin is when a cat looks at u and u go like “what?” and it meows at u
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you tell any adult over the age of 50 that you're looking for a job and they're frothing at the mouth to offer insight bc they think your young and/or lazy ass has never even conceived what they're about to tell you. and it's printing your resume onto a very disposable piece of paper and walking into the workplace and handing it to a random employee
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just met a three month old pomeranian named horchata. her paw was the size of my fingertip. she looked like half a dandelion fluff
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she is ferdinand von aegir
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Jacob Wysocki and Brennan Lee Mulligan on friendship and the weird rituals that come with it to express our love
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Happy pride month to my dad. When I came out as bi to him, this man googled what it ment, look at me and said "ohh. Yeah. You get that from me. You'd have far more siblings of I only shaged women." And went right back to his work emails.
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