purple-is-the-imposter - Tumblr blog

[purple-is-the-imposter]

Does howdy ever get lonely in his store?? I know its probably not always busy, and if he gets bored, what does he do??

Ooh, Let's talk about Howdy! Does Howdy get lonely or Bored? Not at all, He has his store! He has his Routine, His Merchandise, his Cash Register, his Payphone, his Impeccably clean floors- That's so many things! He's always humming, Or cleaning, or Organizing- There's never a dull Moment for this very busy caterpillar! I am laughing, Maybe there exists a Hint of boredom when Wally is taking too long to tell a Joke... ("You're takin' so long that I think my Bananas are startin' to spoil, Walls!")

[purple-is-the-imposter]

hi, if you’ve seen this post circulating tumblr, please fucking read on:

Some asshole decided to strike at the Discord Server we were using to investigate White Eyes by reporting us for violating TOS, the ban reason is that we were doxxing a user’s personal or private information — the reality is we were trying to figure out ways to get into contact with people.

The entire White Eyes discord is now GONE and so is ALL OUR ACCOUNTS.

If you still have a Twitter account, please make some noise under THIS TWEET:

WE NEED TO GET DISCORD’S ATTENTION. ASAP.

This is a Deliberate Attack on an Internet Archeology Project and we NEED our accounts and server restored.

[purple-is-the-imposter]

Horrortale moved to new URL

horrortalecomic.tumblr.com

Thanks for reading!

-SAS

[purple-is-the-imposter]

The single funniest thing I’ve seen in 2019 (sound on)

[purple-is-the-imposter]

Main 3 with a mechanic s/o

A/N: You're the mechanic of the SQ, :)

_________________________

Sanford

Big guy gets to go first this time.

Having someone who is able to fix machines fairly easy, is great.

Helps him out a lot since he is usually the repair man when it comes to the truck or anything else that breaks.

He's a handy man while being a few other things. So you being able to make and fix things, already has him liking you.

You are either fixing things together, or you are just talking about machines and their functions.

When it's not about that, you two always manage to have hour long conversations about things.

He learns about you, while you learn about him.

Whenever you're in your workshop, he'd visit you. Makes little excuses as to why he's there, or is handing you blueprints Doc wants you to look at.

Sometimes Sanford doesn't notice when he flirts with you, it kinda slips out when talking to you. So he gets confused as to why your face goes red or seems flushed.

You're a bit of insomniac, so you stay up late thinking of new ideas for machines that can help with dealing with the A.A.H.W.

So when Sanford finds you knocked out on your desk at 4 in the morning, he'll scoop ya up in his arms and carry you to bed.

And if you just so happen to cuddle up to him while he is, his heart just completely melts.

"Do I even weight anything to you?" You ask the next morning, it wasn't the first time he's put you to bed when you fall asleep on your unfinished blueprints.

He gave you a sheepish smile.

"Nah, its like holding a couple of grapes."

_________

Deimos

Technician and Mechanic? Perfect match.

You work with machines while he can program and hack them.

To say the least, he absolutely adores it when you're building or planning to build something.

He's observant, a very observant type when it comes to something that actually catches his interest.

And that something is you, ain't ya lucky?

He will make jokes and tease you.

Having a hacker boyfriend means that he will mess with your machines that deal with anything technical.

He doesn't break or mess anything up, he'll just play a prank or say something is wrong to get you to fix it. He likes seeing your mind at work.

One day out of the blue, you gave him a gift. It was a small little robot, which you nicknamed Qwert.

You've built him with spare part you had laying around your workshop, you said he was made to hold stuff like pencils, pens, papers, and every a pack of cigarettes.

But the main reason you built him was to send Deimos little messages through the little guy's visor whenever you were away on missions to ease him.

Deimos is a clingy - affectionate guy, so when he heard that he keeps Qwert by his bedside. Who wouldn't want to wake up to a love filled message?

He would build you something in return, but don't expect something big though.

He's a flirt. A big one, and he loves seeing you blush and flustered. He thinks its so adorable.

He can be really smooth, to corny.

Handsy too. He will have an arm or hand on you somewhere.

Like for example you're working on something, he's laying on you while both his arms are wrapped around you.

"Y'know, we could be doing something that's a bit more hands on right now."

You coughed as you were eating a sandwich, you were on break and Deimos decided to sit with you.

"AcK!--Are you kidding me right now-I'm trying to eat-"

He laughed, "I didn't hear a no.~"

_________

Hank

Stalkerish behavior with this one.

But it's only because he finds it interesting.

He'll probably be the one to bring broken weapons or things to you just to see you fix them.

However this happens so often, that you consider to just build Hank new weapons.

After all there's not much you can fix with only the hilt of a sword.

You're going to have to explain that you're better with machines than weapons too.

But that doesn't stop him from bringing his broke things to you.

Its like when a child gives something to their mom, and wanting them to praise them for it.

It's cute, but you would like it if it was so drenched in blood and beyond repair.

You managed to fix his blender that stopped working after he blended what you assumed was a rat or something - there were bone shards stuck in the blades.

Once you fixed it for him, he saw you as a holy angel.

He was literally vibrating with excitement and happiness.

Just like Deimos, he will lay on you or wrap his arms around. But only in the confines of a bedroom or workshop - Whenever there is privacy.

If you're ever knocked out on your desk, expect him to drape his trenchcoat over you and make sure everything is secure before leaving you be.

He likes when you rant about machines or whatever you're interested in. He loves the sound of you talking.

You start making him custom guns, he'll treat them with the utmost respect and take real good care of them. He won't even let anyone else touch them.

They're a symbol of your love for him after all.

"Hank-I-You know I can't do much with this right?"

Hank gave you shattered spectlight, it still had some guts on it as if it was freshly used.

"And?"

You sighed, "I'll..See what I can do, love."

You can't see it, but he's smiling under the mask and swooning on the inside.

[purple-is-the-imposter]

[purple-is-the-imposter]

3am headcanons

yes, i have shit sleeping schedule. im overstimulated, so im writing some hcs to calm me down (hopefully)

so heres some random shit of hank being very very down bad-

doesn’t matter who you are. whether you’re his enemy, an ally, or just a passerby, this fucker will have his sight on you. and no he’s not going to kill you.

how down bad is hank? boi, you could tell this man to stop his killings and he will actually stop. on the spot, and just follow you home.

congratulations, you ended the madness. you got the simp ending 👏👏👏

dont worry the aahw will provide you food and resources on how to be comfortable with nevadas most wanted. its the least they could do when you literally stop the threat they were focusing on for years.

however, if you dont go that route cause you’re afraid of wimblyton (understandable doe), then you might catch the sight of bright red goggles staring at you from a distance.

hank isn’t hiding, he’s standing there, staring menacingly(lovingly) at you. its a hank thing i suppose.

since you’re the only one who hank listens, you were basically recruited against your will.

doc fucking flips when you tell hank you won’t give him cuddles if he gets more injuries. next mission happened and hank came back after doing a no hit speedrun at the enemy’s base.

like damn, all this time of patching this fucker up but then he’s all fine and dandy when a random grunt tell him to stop it-

you don’t often use this strat on him though, but sometimes doc will use this for his benefit. (“Hank if you continue this shitshow of bloody marys to your body then you won’t get a day off with your obsession.” “feral hank noises-“)

majority see you as someone hank is absolutely obsessed with. it was at the same level as the giant blender he brought back from the aahw. hank thought it different. jmotherfucker can be seen giggling like a schoolgirl whenever he fantasies about you.

im talking legs kicking, diary writing and even a wedding planned in his head-

deimos and sanford are creeped out by him. poor dudes

you on the other hand, were used to it. i mean, hank often showed up at your place showing you drawings of you and him in wedding outfits.

worst part is that, he was very good at drawing. scarily good.

sometimes french kisses you on the most random moments. you had to stop him from shoving his tongue into your mouth cause he got tired of listening to jebus.

you’re the designated hank tranquiliser. just being there in his line of sight lightens his mood.

you know those videos where the people pet rapidly everytime they see their cat loafing? yea thats hank.

ngl his enemies and allies wonder how the fuck can hank get bitches - no, how the fuck can YOU get bitches, and it just so happens to be nevadas most wanted criminal. in these trying times where the sun fucking died and all there is madness, but hank jmotherfucking wimbleton found l o v e

but it makes it easier to get hank to comply if they relay their message to you. even the weirdest ones.

“i need you to tell hank to wear this shark onesie.” -deimos prolly

“where’s the other onesie, hackerman.” - hank, angry that theres no matching onesies to do with you.

yea overall, hank worships the ground you walk on despite having the image of an emotionless and merciless killer.

good luck with the hanking noises thats wimbling rapidly to your location-

[purple-is-the-imposter]

Yo, since that grunt that works for the AAHW x Hank photo, this funny little thought popped into my brain.

You know that one iconic video from the bloopers in the Madcom PN trailer of Hank and a Merc making out randomly....

I think you know where my silly little brain went this.

I was just in a silly goofy mood. You know how it is :)

ngl i really wanted to draw it out but im too sleepy and busy nowadays lmao (ill do it later if i have the time since my schooling friends are having their holidays)

honestly thats how agent grunt met hank-

so heres a short drabble, i supposed.

cw: hank does the french kiss.

You knew you were fodder. You were always a fodder ever since you signed up for the A.A.H.W. Not that you were given a choice.

However, you did not expect this was a normal occasion for everyone in the building. The most dangerous criminal in Nevada, raiding the place and wrecking havoc on everyone.

You were standing near the pile of dead bodies covering the floor, with your enemy on the opposite side. You gulped, clutching your pistol. He was hacking through your co-workers like butter.

Shit. He noticed you.

You gave it your all when fighting him, deflecting his punches, dodging his sword and intercepting his bullets with your bullets.

His breathing was starting to get heavy, probably out of frustration. You were only one out of all the agents to fend off Hank J Wimbleton, and somehow managed to survive longer than ten seconds.

However, it did not last long, you were cornered to a wall, large hands slammed beside your head. You were trapped. The guy had you pinned against the wall.

He was too close up in your face, you could hear his loud panting. You stood there frozen - this is how you die.

You couldn’t get out from how his large body was huddled against you, leaving no room for escape. Even if you did, you would get your neck snapped.

The guy started leaning closer, and closer, until eventually-

He shoved his tongue into your mouth-

“I’m surprised that Hank didn’t kill you,” your superior said.

“Yeah, me neither. Didn’t know he could spare someone,” you anxiously smiled.

“You must’ve been skilled to fend him off. No one ever survives Hank J Wimbleton.”

“…Yea…..”

“Employee, why were you kissing with the enemy?”

“…Um-“

[purple-is-the-imposter]

https://twitter.com/TansuYegen/status/1541459351537426432

[purple-is-the-imposter]

absolutely flabbergasted

[purple-is-the-imposter]

Creepypasta Incorrect Quotes Pt. 3

(Y/N): Wait, you kill people for money?!

Jane: I can explain!

(Y/N): And all this time I've been doing it for free like a chump!

---

BEN: *screams*

Jeff: *screams louder to establish dominance*

Liu: Should we do something?

(Y/N): No, I want to see who wins.

---

(Y/N): Hey, It's your turn to wash dishes.

EJ: I'LL WASH THE WALLS RED WITH YOUR BLOOD

(Y/N): 'Kay, but before that, wash the dishes, also use soap this time?

---

Jane @ Kate: Stop buying plastic skeletons for Halloween! It's terrible for the environment!

Clockwork: Yeah! Locally sourced, all natural skeletons are much more environmentally friendly!

---

(Y/N): Okay, maybe playing 'whose family is most dysfunctional' wasn't the best idea. Toby's been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...

---

Dr. Smiley: I'm gonna need a human skull and and I can't have you ask any questions why

EJ: Only if you also don't ask why

EJ: *pulls out seven pristine skulls* Take your pick

Dr. Smiley:

EJ:

Dr. Smiley: This one is fine

---

(Y/N): Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you have lost throughout your life

Toby: Self-esteem, haven't seen you in years

Masky: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this!

Hoodie: I knew I lost that potential somewhere!

Kate: My moral code, is that you?

(Y/N):

(Y/N): I was just gonna show you this cool trunk my mother left me, but do you guys need a hug?

[purple-is-the-imposter]

My favorite incorrect quotes (Marble Hornets + Toby)

Pt.2

Masky, singing to the tune of I Kissed a Girl: I killed a guy, and I liked it-

Toby, whispering: Should we call the exorcist?

Hoodie, also singing:The taste of his cherry chapstick.

Reader, appalled: Call the exorcist.

***************************************

Masky: Hi, could I ask how exactly does one accidentally set a lemon on fire??

Reader : Microwave for 40 minutes. 😔

Hoodie: Why were you microwaving a lemon???

Reader : I read boiling lemons helps cover up up bad smells (I wanted to cover up the scent of burnt oranges) but I didn't own any pots.

Toby: Did you burn an orange too? How???

Reader : Microwave for 40 minutes. 😔

***************************************

Hoodie: Where's Reader ?

Toby: Don't worry, I'll find them.

Toby, shouting: Masky sucks!

Reader , distantly: Masky is the best person ever! Fuck you!

Toby: Found them.

***************************************

Police: You’re under arrest for trying to carry three people on a single motorcycle.

Hoodie, with Reader and Masky behind them: Wait, what do you mean THREE?!

Police: Yes…three.

Hoodie: Oh, my God— What the fuck!?

Police: Wha-

Hoodie: Toby FUCKING FELL OFF!***************************************

Masky: You were stabbed. Do you remember anything?

Reader : Only the ambulance ride to the hospital.

Masky: That wasn't an ambulance, I drove you.

Reader : But I heard a siren.

Hoodie: That was Toby.

Toby: Sorry, I got nervous.

***************************************

[purple-is-the-imposter]

Julie: I've sent someone to come for you, don't freak out, okay? He won't hurt you.

hoodie; shoots at us whilst in a tree causing us to fall in a dumpster resulting in Injuring our ribs, eats our pizza, bitchslaps us, knocks us out,

Shoots at us not once, not twice, but three fucking times missing on purpose.

All in the same night.

Oh but I can't forget the fact he fuckin patched us up afterwards while we were knocked out.

What a sweet guy. \ Sarcasm

[purple-is-the-imposter]

This message is me trying to find out if there are more people who know this lovely boi, because he needs more love 🤌

[purple-is-the-imposter]

Deimos was always the funny one, wasn’t he?

[purple-is-the-imposter]

Feel free to use these whenever someone trys to say that your ruining the MadCom community when you headcanon/ship them

[purple-is-the-imposter]

Don’t worry guys my brother will punch Maison in the mouth and protect us from ppl eatin abodes