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Low Budget Little Toaster Goes to Mars

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

[purpleliketheplague]

Tales from the Parts Shop (Crack Edition) Masterpost

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Tales from the Parts Shop (Crack Edition)- 15

Igor

Igor liked to say he came with the shop. The self-proclaimed head doctor of the parts shop was a permanent fixture of the backroom.

It got very lonely in the backroom. That's why he placed the ad.

One lamp couldn't handle all that work. Some machines could get quite hostile and lash out. Igor was lucky to not be scratched.

That's when he received a fateful phone call. Pam, his phone receptionist, accidentally received a call from the local newspaper. They were doing a story on the wonders of appliance repair.

Pam was such a good sport. She gave them the right number... and put in an ad in the paper.

Igor opened his eyes. He never expected this response. Thirteen more helpers in his humble shop?

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Tales from the Parts Shop (Crack Edition)- 14

Cooke

What was a stove doing in the park? Fresh air?

After his biggest cookie vendor disappeared, Clayton Cooke wanted to share his baking skills with a whole host of animals.

The possum family really loved his sugar cookies.

He sat near a bench. A G4 had wheeled up to the trash can. There was some commotion coming from inside the can. He spotted a very dirty Lasko fan pop his head out.

"Aether!" the G4 shouted. A cord wrapped around the fan's base and gently removed him from the can.

Aether shook the remains of trash off of him. A discarded newspaper caught Cooke's attention.

Aether and the G4 left, possibly because Aether probably needed a bath.

Cooke trudged over to the newspaper. The cookie business would still be open, but what if he took a second job? He wondered if injured appliances would love his cooking.

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Tales from the Parts Shop (Crack Edition)- 13

Batter

Nicolai, or Batter as his friends called him, wanted to leave the bar.

He'd like to meet the genius that introduced alcohol to appliances... and bite their cord off.

After four vacuums got into a fight over something that Batter couldn't remember and destroyed some furniture, he wanted some place safe.

He packed up his belongings (which consisted of a sandwich bag full of his favorite dish cloth and towel) and exited. He hoped the blender running the bar would understand.

He also wondered how a couple lamps could lift a full-sized upright vacuum into an ambulance.

One of the regulars, who everyone called Mish-Mash, approached the bar.

"Oh, hi," Batter said. "I'm no longer working there."

"I wouldn't work there after last night," Mish-mash replied. "I hope the vacuums are safe."

Batter paused.

"So, is the parts shop hiring?" Batter asked.

"We are," Mish-Mash replied. "I'll take you there... only if you get me something to drink."

Batter fished a five dollar bill out of his "suitcase" and hopped to the bar.

Maybe this order would be best "to-go".

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Tales from the Parts Shop (Crack Edition)- 12

Mish-Mash

No one really knew what happened to Gladys, Candice and Barb. They lived in a nice house in the suburbs.

Barb, a very dull-witted razor, decided to escape...

Mish-Mash sat at the typewriter. That's not how her backstory went.

"Would you like more paper?" Igor, a hanging lamp asked.

"Yes," Mish-Mash said. "I can't get my story straight."

Igor nudged a stack of printer paper. Mish-mash fit the page into the typewriter.

Now, how did she get to be part lamp, part can-opener and part shaver?

Gladys, Candice and Barb lived on the same thrift store shelf...

Another page balled up and thrown into the trash can. Perhaps Mish-Mash didn't really know what happened to her?

"I could solve your problem, and save paper," Igor laughed.

Mish-mash tapped her bulb. "Hold on! I have it."

A magical fairy fluttered down from the heavens and...

The page wound up under the back room door.

"Maybe I should sign you up for softball?" Igor chuckled.

"All right," Mish-Mash groaned. "What happened to me?"

The hanging lamp paused. "You got very drunk at a bar and accidentally picked a fight with an angry lawn mower. My team put you back together."

Mish-mash scratched her head. "Oh, that." She glanced at a bottle of scotch. "Could you get me some? I'm thirsty."

Igor looked at the bottle. "We all have our vices. Some more dangerous than others."

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Tales from the Parts Shop (Crack Edition)- 11

Decibel

Dewey Decibel was the coach of the only all-vacuum soccer team in the whole city.

He would just sit on the sidelines while a pack of upright vacuums would pass a ball around.

Their opponents were a squadron of desk lamps.

If the lamps weren't careful, someone was going to need a new bulb.

Thankfully, bulb guards existed.

Decibel didn't count on nearly being knocked out by a wayward soccer ball. That Rainbow knew how to kick.

He had to find a safer alternative. Coaching duties went to an old Kirby vacuum.

He found himself at the Parts shop. Maybe working with injured appliances would be safer... or at least he hoped so.

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Tales from the Parts Shop (Crack Edition)- 10

Cornelia

Why would a bunch of appliances need popcorn? And why was Cornelia working in the movie theater? It was a nice place to visit, but that snooty Majesty lamp would only show her own attempts at film-making.

"Geez, Charlotte," Cornelia muttered after finishing her "I-Quit" letter. "After the thirtieth video of flower vases, I'm ready for some real excitement."

Cornelia hopped down the sidewalk. Who was hiring?

She spotted her friend Fantine stand outside a shop. "Hey, Fantine, do you know someplace that's hiring?"

Fantine smirked at the shop behind her. "We're still looking for a few more good appliances."

Cornelia squinted. Charlotte and her "film crew" were across the street.

"Could you hide me?" Cornelia asked. "I'll take any job that'll get me away from my old boss."

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GamerVac (Almost Birthday)

GamerVac (It's almost my birthday)

Well, dear subscribers, I've been through a lot and I'm not even a year old. Still have a a little over a month until my birthday. Here's four things I did that I'm proud of. (In chronological order)

1- I've found out how to work a controller with only a plug. Controllers are made for human hands, not appliances. With trial, effort (and a lot of those), I managed to succeed.

2- Stopped a gang of appliance bandits, with only an umbrella and my wits. And who says video games rot your brain?

Intermission. Hmm, I have a question from a viewer. How's Sabrina doing? Well, she's feeling a lot happier. Rumor has it that she's seeing someone. A lovely desk lamp.

3- Found love. No, I won't date that jerk of a G5 that lurks around the complex. I think he disappeared. I'm with a handsome stereo with a sense of humor.

4- Managed to get play of the game in a Watchtower match. On the internet, no one knows you're a vacuum cleaner.

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Tales from the Parts Shop (Crack Edition)- 9

Sharpe

There were dozens of Pencil sharpeners in the community center. Howard Sharpe was one of them. He could swear that half of his siblings also worked there.

After a fight broke out (in which twenty pencils were snapped), Sharpe decided to leave. He had nothing to do with the fight. One of those newer pencil sharpeners grabbed too many pencils, resulting in the chaos.

Sharpe scampered down the road. He would accept any position... any place he could do paperwork for. His handwriting was decent.

A newspaper flew into his face. That and a couple rain-soaked leaves. A passing vacuum peeled the paper off of Sharpe's face.

"Thanks," Sharpe said.

He glanced at the ad in the paper.

"Medical career?" Sharpe thought. Sharpe didn't feel he could use a screwdriver, but all the records he could write.

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Tales from the Parts Shop (Crack Edition)- 8

Fantine

Fantine swallowed hard. The only creatures buying cookies were the animals. It's not like appliances could eat cookies.

All that time wasted baking them and not very many customers.

That's it! She thought. Her baking business was not the best idea.

She abandoned all of her cookie boxes in the park, where an army of squirrels and raccoons fought over who was going to get them.

Fantine made her way to the city. There had to be more worthwile jobs for a little desk fan.

She spotted Asimov leave the parts shop, smiling.

"Are they still hiring?" she asked.

Asimov nodded. "Why don't you apply as well?"

Fantine entered the shop.

A few days later, Fantine found herself making a crude paper nurse's hat. Her first shift at the parts shop was beginning in five mintues.

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Tales from the Parts Shop (Crack Edition)- 7

Asimov

Isidor Asimov was new to the city. He came from a large family of lamps somewhere in the suburbs.

His first stop was at the first shop that appealed to him: Debbie's shop.

The receptionist, a dark bronze Grady Piano lamp, lifted her glasses. "Oh, hi, do you have an appointment?"

Asimov shook his head. "No, I'm here to..."

Oracle glanced at the papers in Asimov's plug, then at a desk fan sitting on a chair in the waiting room. Asimov accidentally dropped the papers on the floor.

A shrill whistling noise filled the air. Debbie's security guard/janitor appeared out of nowhere. "Paper spill?" Levi asked. "I can do that."

It turned out that Asimov had dropped all five pages of his resume.

"I need a job." the lamp admitted.

Oracle set the pen down. The crosswords could wait.

"Well, the parts shop is hiring," she said.

Asimov picked up his resume and hopped out the door.

Debbie threw the door open. A Kirby Avalir with flames decorating his bag exited. He stopped by a mirror to admire his new decoration.

"Next!" she asked.

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Tales from the Parts Shop (Crack Edition)- 6

Percy

Percival Culator, Percy for short, was not the brightest guy.

He sat in the chair at Debbie's Modification parlor. The owner, a power drill, lit up her latest cigarette.

"All right, what do you want?" she groaned.

"Forks for arms?" Percy asked.

"Well, you asked for it," Debbie paused.

It was agony.

An ad for the Parts shop played on TV. Percy had the idea to apply there.

Percy hopped out of the parlor after paying Debbie. How else was she going to fund her smoking habit?

He couldn't wait to get his new job. He hoped the interviewer was okay with Body modification.

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Tales from the Parts Shop (Crack Edition)- 5

Loretta

There had to be something other than waitressing. If one was a shapely reel-to-reel player, what options werethere?

Loretta O’Reele looked through the papers.

A passing laptop whispered something into her ear. "There's a theater that's hiring. A pretty face like yourself needs to..."

Loretta swung one of her cord arms. The laptop recoiled in pain. There was no way in hell she was going to... that theater. She had standards.

She flipped to another page of the classifieds. A parts shop? She could help appliances.

And no one would make rude comments in her presence.

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Tales from the Parts Shop (Crack Edition)- 4

Artie

Arthur "Artie" West sat at the table. The brown Bakelite that called himself his boss was rambling again. How he wished he had another job, but 60's tube televisions were not in high demand.

"Artie!" the Radio shouted. "To my office now!"

Artie scampered through the office building towards the office. He wished he could toss his boss out the window.

"Your performance isn't as good as it used to be," the radio said. "I'm replacing you with a better model."

Finally... Artie thought. He never felt happier about getting fired.

Now where would he go after this?

A newspaper fluttered into his face while he walked down the road. He removed it and began reading "Now Hiring. Parts shop."

That office was drudgery. His new line of work seemed much more exciting.

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Tales from the Parts Shop (Crack Edition)- 3

Cassius

Cassius sneaked into the back of the record shop. Here he could be as loud as he wanted. The cash register was too busy counting his dollars to notice.

Since Cassius's tastes leaned towards hard rock and heavy metal (the louder the better), he felt at peace here.

One day, the old cash register and a couple higher-ups in the store were silent. Cassius left the backroom in order to start his shift. Someone had to organize those tapes.

"Well, Cassius, business hasn't been good," the cash register said.

Cassius's eyes widened. "What?"

A robotic vacuum shook his head. "We're closing up shop in the next couple weeks."

The newspaper was a godsend. Cassius was excited about finding a new place to work. A place where he could care for appliances.

He packed up his tape collection and scampered off.

Hope they didn't mind heavy metal where he was going.

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Tales from the Parts Shop (Crack Edition)- 2

The Maestro

He lived in an old theater, playing classical music.

A very cantankerous vacuum decided he was too loud.

And so, Maestro Giovanni Sebastiano Toccata (Maestro for short), had to find a new place to live.

The vacuum was more than willing to help him pack.

"Can you hurry up? I don't want to be late for my appointment!" Maestro said.

The vacuum and three of his friends pulled the repurposed lawn chair down the sidewalk. Another couple of vacuums

carried Maestro's possessions.

"That old shop always gave me the creeps," one of the vacuums carrying the suitcases said.

"And Maestro's moving in." the other said.

Prongs hit the doorbell. "Come in," a creepy German-accented voice said. "We've been expecting you."

The door swung open. A small desk fan beckoned them in.

Maestro was slid off the lawn chair and onto a table. Cords carried him up to a top shelf.

The vacuums left, leaving Maestro's belongings in a pile of suitcases.