purpleplatypi - Tumblr blog

purpleplatypi · 2 years ago

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"autism is a new phenomenon that's on the rise" do you really think the Gregorian monks who spent months writing a single letter H and drawing little pictures of snails on it in illuminated manuscripts were neurotypicals? is that really something a neurotypical would do

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purpleplatypi · 2 years ago

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I mean, I grew up with chronic migraines (like I went to nurse for headaches in kindergarten)… so, yeah there were times when I was like yummy yummy ibuprofen let me count the minutes until I can take more. But that wasn’t the common US experience.

wait americans can just. buy massive bottles of ibuprofen what the fuck

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purpleplatypi · 2 years ago

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purpleplatypi · 2 years ago

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So, okay, fun fact. When I was a freshman in high school… let me preface by saying my dad sent me to a private school and, like a bad organ transplant, it didn’t take. I was miserable, the student body hated me, I hated them, it was awful.

Okay, so, freshman year, I’m deep in my “everything sucks and I’m stuck with these assholes” mentality. My English teacher was a notorious hard-ass, let’s call him Mr. Hargrove. He was the guy every student prayed they didn’t get. And, on top of ALL OF THE SHIT I WAS ALREADY DEALING WITH, I had him for English.

One of the laborious assignments he gave us was to keep a daily journal. Daily! Not monthly or weekly. Fucking daily. Handwritten. And we had to turn it in every quarter and he fucking graded us. He graded us on a fucking journal.

All of my classmates wrote shit like what they did that day or whatever. But, I did not. No, sir. I decided to give the ol’ middle finger to the assignment and do my own shit.

So, for my daily journal entries, over the course of an entire year, I wrote a serialized story about a horde of man-eating slugs that invaded a small mining town. It was graphic, it was ridiculous, it was an epic feat of rebellion.

And Mr. Hargrove loved it.

It wasn’t just the journal. Every assignment he gave us, I tried to shit all over it. Every reading assignment, everyone gushed about how good it was, but I always had a negative take. Every writing assignment, people wrote boring prose, but I wrote cheesy limericks or pulp horror stories.

Then, one day, he read one of my essays to the class as an example of good writing. When a fellow student asked who wrote it, he said, “Some pipsqueak.”

And that’s when I had a revelation. He wanted to fight. And since all the other students were trying to kiss his ass, I was his only challenger.

Mr. Hargrove and I went head-to-head on every assignment, every conversation, every fucking thing. And he ate it up. And so did I.

One day, he read us a column from the Washington Post and asked the class what was wrong with it. Everyone chimed in with their dumbass takes, but I was the one who landed on Mr. Hargrove’s complaint: The reporter had BRAZENLY added the suffix “ize” to a verb.

That night I wrote a jokey letter to the reporter calling him out on the offense in which I added “ize” to every single verb. I gave it to Mr. Hargrove, who by then had become a friendly adversary, for a chuckle and he SENT IT TO THE REPORTER.

And, people… The reporter wrote back. And he said I was an exceptional student. Mr. Hargrove and I had a giggle about that because we both knew I was just being an asshole, but he and the reporter acknowledged I had a point.

And that was it. That was the moment. Not THAT EXACT moment, but that year with Mr. Hargrove taught me I had a knack for writing. And that knack was based in saying “fuck you” to authority. (The irony that someone in a position of authority helped me realize that is not lost on me.)

So, I can say without qualification that Mr. Hargrove is the reason I am now a professional writer. Yes, I do it for a living. And most of my stuff takes authorities of one kind or another to task.

Mr. Hargrove showed me my dissent was valid, my rebellion was righteous, and that killer slugs could bring a city to its knees. Someone just needs to write it.

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purpleplatypi · 2 years ago

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(source)

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purpleplatypi · 2 years ago

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Lol, I started knitting “common” items (scarves / headbands / hats) because I thought I couldn’t afford things from Etsy. Now, 8 years later, my friends/fam say I should sell on Etsy and I’m like ???? I can’t compete with the prices. I think the lowest I’d be willing to go on a “simple” winter headband is like $45 - $60 and I still wouldn’t be adequately paid for labor when looking at the amount of time it took to make the item. 🤣🤣🤣

before you see something and recoil at the price, be it handmade items, services, art, whatever. when you see something and you think, "i wouldnt pay more than $15 for that," you seriously have to ask yourself: if i were offered that same $15, would i make this object? would i spend the time to teach myself this skill to get this done, for $15? would i do this service for that same $15? would that be worth my time and effort?

yeah, that handmade necklace is $140. you might only be willing to pay $40 for that same necklace, but would you make it for $40 if someone asked you to?

you want to pay the babysitter fifteen bucks for the three hours she's watching your child. but would you honestly do that for $15? would you go into a stranger's house and change their baby's diaper and care for its needs, for $15?

you think its ridiculous that this artist is charging $30 for an icon commission. would you spend years catching up to their skill level to make that same drawing, start using your skill to make some extra cash, and then spend three hours on a drawing just to get $15?

would you be willing to work for $5 an hour?

no?

then don't be angry when someone else won't.

you don't have buy the service, it's okay if some things aren't within your budget or comfort zone, and it's also okay if the product isn't worth that much money to you. but do not be angry. be glad, because you know of another person out there who isn't being exploited for their time.

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purpleplatypi · 2 years ago

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@inneskeeper this seems relevant to your interests

BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE! SHE DOIBLES DOWN!

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purpleplatypi · 2 years ago

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my cat hates taking his pills. the only way we can get him to eat them is to turn it into an elaborate pantomime - we take the packet out of the cupboard slowly and hold it up, saying “oh!! what’s this? what’s this? a TREAT? a TREAT for louis????” while making surprised faces. we offer him a pill… then, before he has a chance to sniff it, we wag our fingers at him and replace it in the packet so it becomes a Tantalising Forbidden Mystery. we continue doing this until he’s so confused and excited that he will eat the pill as fast as possible, just so he can find out what it is before we can take it away from him again. as soon as he’s eaten it he looks utterly disappointed and betrayed, like a child who just ate a delicious sweet only to find it was a chocolate-coated brussels sprout. it never gets old

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purpleplatypi · 2 years ago

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me seeing a picture of a little bat: aww :) its Bruce Wayne :))

Bruce Wayne: please shut the fuck up I fucking hate bats they scare me so fucking bad stop

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purpleplatypi · 2 years ago

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Based on this!

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purpleplatypi · 3 years ago

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purpleplatypi · 3 years ago

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A man goes to see his Rabbi in a panic, and he gets there and he says, “Rabbi you’ll never guess what! My son has run away to become a Christian!” And the Rabbi responds, “Well you’ll never guess what! My son has also run away to become a Christian!” So the man asks the Rabbi what to do and the Rabbi says that they should pray to G-d. So they pray and tell him of their plight and G-d replies, “You’ll never guess what!”

- An old Hasidic joke that my Dad likes to tell me

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purpleplatypi · 3 years ago

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Many thanks!

Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.

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purpleplatypi · 3 years ago

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Okay fuck it if this post reaches 666k notes by the end of 2023 I'll practise basic self care

Why 666k? Because it's funny and impossible so good fucking luck

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purpleplatypi · 3 years ago

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