purplespookybatx3

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wanted to do an analysis on lightbulbs behaviour in ii16 because my rage of how people interpreted her after that episode released was of a thousand suns (this is literally just me yapping its not very well structured at all LMAO)

ok, i knowwww. the movie was ages ago. but i wanted to voice my thoughts now that i actually have them gathered together a little more.

i also, at first thought she was ooc, but looking back on it and what she uses to cope, it makes sense?? she was 1. drawing attention to herself and 2. using ignorance/masking her fear.

when oj dies, she walks up to paper and tries to make jokes. shes drawing attention to herselfelf to try and ignore the fear bubbling inside her. shes done this to try and ease tension throughout the series multiple times, attempting to make people pay attention to her and not whatever challenge theyre all facing that she doesnt want to pay attention to (i think shes also just a quite attention seeking person in general at times, but i think the whole coping aspect is a huge part of that too).

(ii13 being used as an example)

shes seen doing things in the background as if this were a normal party (those damn cookies <3). shes physically removing herself from whats going on. in act 1, lightbulb only interacts with the situation when shes trying to be positive. she doesnt want to face whats going on at all. and why would she? she just left the exact thing that was stressing her out, reunited with her friends, and the shows almost over - and now all of this is happening? she has JUST escaped and now an unknown force is endangering all of them.

a line where we can actually see her being slightly more vunerable (pre ojs death): "baseball, do we even know whats going on? we only have little pieces of info. but if we hold on to those little pieces, we can keep THE peace. peace with the "ea". trust me, its smart, its smart..." here she kind of explains her logic a little. she admits that they dont know whats going on really, but she says that if they dont make that info more well known, people wont be as panicked. she repeats "its smart" to reassure herself (and hugs in her knees like she does in ii12 OUGHH <3). she really doesnt want other people to panic, and it seems if they do, it feels more real to her. when other people are distressed, its harder for her to keep her facade up? she doesnt seem - at first - focused on finding a solution or working to OVERCOME the problem, but rather wants to ignore it and in a way, seems like she feels itll go away on its own. not saying she actually BELIEVES this, but possibly just has that subconscious mindset.

when oj dies, she says "this is probably just an isolated incident." which, she was obviously wrong. throughout this episode, she makes a lot of statements out of false confidence. heres a list cause im soooo neurotypical:

"I think what baseballs trying to say is that we're ALL safe, and you CAN leave, whenever you want." (even calls him dramatic?? LMAO)

"okay, an ii2. we've hit our season cap. which means nothing can happen now, probably definitely!" (no logic there)

"worrying will get us nowhere, and personally, i hate going nowhere."

"so im here to do whatever i can, to take this heavy mood and brighten it up!" (i like the change in voice tone here btw, she sounds more strained)

she is over and over again, trying to reassure herself that this situation isnt as serious or scary as it actually is, as she KNOWS it is. even resorting to quite inappropriate behaviour at times (again: joking around and jabbing paper in the arm in a playful manner). she is repetitively reminded by baseball in this scene that she DOESNT know what shes talking about and that her statements are downright wrong; "it cant be isolated, we know it also happened to pickle." but she doubles down, saying something with very nonsense logic. she doesnt WANT to take this seriously, because she doesnt want to accept that this is something serious.

she then admits to baseball that she CANT make this a lighter situation. that she CANT cope as well as she tried to. baseball says "then let it be dark." he gives a pep talk to everyone who is still present. he says (quote that i LOVE)

this inspires her to behave more seriously in ii17. and, im definitely looking too deep into this but i feel like the line "tell us what youre seeing" could have kind of inspired her to not pretend like everythings okay so much. tell us what youre seeing - show how much you actually care. but again, this is mainly a hc lol

throughout the act, she goes through multiple stages: complete denial and ignorance, maybe her self reassurance is possibly working -> still refusing to believe whats happening, her logic just not even making sense anymore, desperately trying to grasp reasons why its all okay -> crumbling a little, asking for guidance as she cant keep pretending its not serious -> motivation to confront the issue at hand.

imo her behaviour and that transition throughout the episode was SO interesting to me, and thats why it saddens me how people in the fandom took that as her just being programmed to be unserious, or her just genuinely not caring very much. i do believe in parts it relates to her programming - as maybe she was given the role as an optimistic leader, meant to lead others to see the brighter side of things, so she instinctively tries her BEST to do so, but that trait can become twisted as well and result in her being toxically positive or feeling unable to cope with darker situations. thats my theory

ramble over wowie

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guess id better post my lightbulb ramble before ii4. gulps

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ok gonna write then go to bed now. listening to super mario galaxy soundtrack while i do so :)

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SHAKING COUGHING ROLLING ON THE FLOOR MUSICAL?.??.??????????? OMG OFNWHBRUISFIBEFSUIBDESUBIFVDBUICESHIUAEDIOHADHUODIHUESCHIUESCUHIECSHUIEADHIUESDHUIECSUIHSRCHUIIHUCRSHRDCHUDSEHUIHIUSEDUHISEFHDSCUHISDDKSJVNRDVJKHJKHRSFHJKSFEBKUWDGYJAEDBUIESFUHKHAEKUDYIGFESBYIESFBUFESUOHHUIEFSIUHSFEBIUESF HOLY SHIT

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ii in 5 days for me. oh my god okay

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ill probably take a break from tumblr until like... saturday. ive been on here daily and need a cleanse from the hellsite :P

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"minors shouldn't be on the internet" "if you were born above the year 2000 don't argue with me" YOU ARE A TAR PIIIITTT i hope the fully grown adults you're infantilising and the 13 year olds you're bullying beat your ass together

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I don’t know much about the world, but it seems like if you take #art and add it to #lightbulb ii, you end up with #uhm.

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Incredible, but true: @contractedcontractor deserves to have a good day today.

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I want to take a heaping batch of #flying buddies and spread it all over me like I’m that peanut butter baby. You know the one.

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I heard @contractedcontractor wrote an eight verse song about #balloon ii ?????

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Like if you’re a #pride fan, reblog if you’re a #fanbrush fan.

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You ever just... yell about #shipping??

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sometimes i wish i was the immunity milk so cabby would drink me chunky style

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Now all you have to do is put The Guy™️ in a Situation and now I’m giggling kicking my feel shaking foaming at the mouth I am going feral

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MY KEYBOARD IS DARK TURQUOISE AND HAS LITTLE PAWPRINT DETAILS WHEN I TYPE I LOVE THIS

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watching tpot as i do exercises to make it feel less like a chore