pushdontpulll - Tumblr blog

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[pushdontpulll]

I think I finally understand why people carve their names on trees,

Why they write their names on desks,

On walls,

On floors,

On ceilings,

On mirrors,

On anything anywhere at any time.

We need to feel some kind of reassurance,

Some kind of confirmation.

We need some kind of proof,

Some kind of warranty,

Some kind of evidence,

That we were once there;

In front of that tree,

On that desk,

On that floor,

Under that ceiling,

Looking through that mirror into infinity,

Into a world where we do not exist.

We need proof that this memory was not in our heads,

It's not our imagination,

It's not a lie.

We need proof that once we're grey and old,

Once we're dead and cold,

Once we're done and gone:

Somewhere out there will forever remember we existed,

Will forever remember we were there,

Will forever mourn us - even in life.

Something somewhere out there will continue to live with our memory forever,

Even if we don't live forever,

Even if the world ends,

Even if society collapses.

Under the rubble,

Under the destruction,

In the ruins;

You'll find that we once lived,

And we live on forever,

And forever, we exist.

[pushdontpulll]

The trees are dancing,

To nature's flute.

And my heart is finally dancing,

With the trees.

And I'd like to think,

That this is peace.

[pushdontpulll]

I yearn for a land to call my home,

where no one can tell me that I don't belong,

where no one can look at me like I don't belong,

where no one can think to themselves that I don't belong.

I yearn for my land;

To breathe it's air,

And feed from its soil.

I yearn for my stolen home,

for all the massacred of my home.

I yearn to taste the water of it's Oceans and lakes,

and wells and ponds and seas.

I yearn for what was mine,

to be mine again,

So I can someday breathe in a sigh of relief,

And rest my tired, wandering soul.

[pushdontpulll]

I think I yearn for love

This much, because I yearn for myself.

I wish I could go back in time,

And be the shoulder I needed to cry on,

And be the lover I needed.

I think I've always just missed myself,

And that's why I always feel so empty.

[pushdontpulll]

My heart weeps

For myself, years ago, longing for love.

My heart aches

To hold her, and walk her through the pain.

My heart wails,

For all the nights she had to live through yearning for death—

And she died.

And from her I was reborn.

I was reborn undead.

And I survive.

[pushdontpulll]

requested by  jeanjacket-lesbian

[pushdontpulll]

you’re allowed to say “no”. you’re allowed to say “i’m not comfortable with this”. you’re allowed to say “please leave”. you’re allowed to say “no, i don’t want to talk to you”. anyone who acts like they’re entitled to your body, time or attention thinks they somehow own you. and they really don’t.

[pushdontpulll]

Sometimes people in my life ask why I do research on Fox News and occasionally watch Ben Shapiro and peek at conservative sides of the internet. And honestly it’s because I want to know where people are coming from.

I’m no psychologist but I’m of the opinion that a lot of conservative ideology has to do with comfort and convenience.

[pushdontpulll]

If sadness could kill,

There would've been a tree on my grave

With its own name.

[pushdontpulll]

I think,

I think and I think and I think and I think

Until I am on the brink

Of insanity

But then, all I can utter is profanity.

[pushdontpulll]

I think I'm starting to come to terms with the fact that I don't know who I am and I haven't for a while.

But then what? Where do you take it from there?

How long do I keep pretending that I am who I decided I'll be, knowing that I don't feel like that person and I never did.

When will I truly be someone or want something without deciding that this is what I will be and this is what I will want?

[pushdontpulll]

In me are bits and pieces of everyone I ever knew. I don't think I'm me anymore and I don't think there ever was a me.

All there is and was to myself are the fragments that I nicked off of everyone's personalities and TV shows.

The only things that're truly mine are my fucked up thoughts and all my diseases and my genuine wholehearted wish to stop being alive.

[pushdontpulll]

“At the end of that long dream, I finally made a choice. That even if I go back in the past, even if I do for a hundred more times, I will still choose to meet you.”

— Seri, Crash Landing On You

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