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pyromaniac4198 · 15 days ago

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Rexanidala Amnesia AU

Concept: Anakin circa year 2.5 of the war wakes up in a post-war setting (good ending) where he is raising his kids in a throuple with Padmé and Rex.

Anakin starts off confused about some scars he doesn't remember, and his hair being too long, and having the wrong clothes at hand, and then wanders into the kitchen to see Rex and Padmé flirting as they make breakfast. He gets very angry and very confused, very fast, but then Padmé notices him and is Happy, and so is Rex, and that brings confusion forward because he clearly saw them kissing, but they're not? Hiding it? Panicking?

There's an exchange that has Padmé misinterpreting Anakin's "I saw you kissing Rex" as jealousy that Anakin has not also gotten a morning kiss from Rex.

A baby starts crying.

Anakin is so confused and distracted by the crying baby that he doesn't even stop Rex from kissing him. Partly because Rex is just radiating fondness/affection/amusement at what he interprets as Anakin being kinda groggy.

Anakin plays along for a few minutes, and then spots Threepio and goes "hey, I need to talk to my droid right now. In private."

R2 bullies his way in but Anakin lets it happen.

Threepio can keep secrets, including Anakin's, and so there's the perfect person to ask about what the hell is going on. Anakin gets the date, a basic timeline of when the hell Rex showed up in their lives as a romance thing, when the babies were born, is he even a Jedi anymore, is he still on good TERMS with the Jedi, etc. They somehow manage to avoid the topic of the Chancellor and how the war ended.

Comes out of the room and bluntly tells Padmé "I don't remember inviting Rex to our relationship." And they're all a bit confused and the stress is rising because Rex suddenly thinks they were maybe lying about having talked over inviting him to be part of the relationship like a YEAR ago, and Padme's thinking but inviting him was your idea, and then Anakin continues with,

"I don't remember the babies being born. I don't remember the pregnancy. I don't remember the war ending. I don't remember Ahsoka leaving or coming back. I think someone needs to get Obi-Wan and a mind healer, because Threepio is saying it's a head injury and honestly I don't have any better ideas."

So obviously. It's Obi-Wan time.

He brings Anakin back to the Temple. That is where some Topics are covered (they know about the Tuskens, Palpatine was a Sith, Anakin spent three months under a forced psych hold after some Stuff) and they can't immediately fix what's going on. Anakin gets sent home to Padme's as an outpatient with plans to come back regularly until they figure out possible treatments.

The rest of the fic is Anakin and Padmé and Rex trying to find a balance between "Rex was finally comfortable and settled in our lives" and "Anakin isn't used to having a larger, denser body in the bed with them and woke up in a panic last night because of it."

Slight implications throughout that make it unclear if this is actually amnesia, some kind of temporary time travel, or an alternate universe swap with an Anakin whose life made it through the RotS woodchipper mostly intact.

(It's probably a head injury that interacted with the existing brain damage.)

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pyromaniac4198 · 15 days ago

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Yet another chatfic concept of misunderstandings and clones falling for Jedi

But to start, the thing that started this entire concept... I find Aayla/Kit so funny.

Aayla hooking up with a guy that taught her brother-dad's friend's brother-dad. (Her brother-dad's stepsister-in-law's brother-dad.)

He's like 20-30 years older than her and Quinlan is tearing his hair out. Despite the ostensible power dynamic of age and Mastery, they are just Vibing.

[warning: mentions of the most common alternate interpretation of Palpatine's grooming of Anakin]

@threebea:

You're in love in the background of the Skywalker saga Bant: You need to talk to Aayla. Obi-Wan: What? Bant: You're like her uncle. Obi-Wan: I'm not following. Bant: If kit and Aayla get married, then Quinlan Vos is my step-Master. Obi-Wan: Force that sucks for you. Especially since I'm marrying Quinlan. Bant: You're a monster. Bant: I am a full grown Jedi Knight. Quinlan: Padawan! Bant: I will drown you in a bucket! I don't really think she'd have a problem but it's just very funny. Obi-Wan: at least you're not the brother-in-law of a senator in a secret marriage. Life day shopping is a nightmare. What says you're my sister-in-law and also I have no idea that you are? A bracelet? Bant: A stunner. Self defense for a senator who you protect but also your brother's wife. You can get the shells in fun colours. Obi-Wan: Thanks, Padawan. Bant: You're the worst and I'm never helping you again. Bant: Wait technically you're my step-Padawan-sibling with Tahl and Qui-Gon… So if Aayla marries Kit… Obi-Wan: Force damn it.

They are all the worst. Except Aayla. She's just living her life.

Anakin makes a Hapsburg family tree out of macaroni for shits and giggles. Conspicuously does not include his marriage.

Quinlan adds it in sharpie but Obi-Wan covers it with more macaroni Quinlan: why are you cool about your Padawan marrying outside the order? Obi-Wan: Why are you feeling out about your Padawan marrying inside the order? Sounds like some attachment happening there. Quinlan: :/ You're a little shit. Maybe not officially going to the council you serve about said marriage also reeks of attachment. Obi-Wan: fine fine carry on Aayla: Master. Quinlan: (opens and closes his mouth) ……… Aayla: (sighs) Master. (Hard look) Quinlan: Fine.

Bly: [pining]

Kit finds out by way of Monnk complaining to him (Monnk is not aware of Kit and Aayla knowing each other more than in passing).

Bly doesn't know Kit and Aayla are open to a third Bly: I just want her to be happy 😭 Wolffe: It doesn't make sense for Jedi to be monogamous. You should still ask. Monnk, to Kit: Please for the love of Palpatine's ass save me from the pining sir. What do Jedi like? Does he have a shot?

The group chat is like 20% Bly being sad and bisexual about his General Another 20% is Rex being exasperated and bi about his own general

Rex is more subtle. And quickly will turn it back to Bly, so Bly is the one associated with Jedi pining. Cody is trying to track down who started the rumour about him and his own general and end them, because there's fanfiction now, and if other clones want to fuck his general that's fine but don't use Cody as your ultimate clone power fancast. Cody: Literally they just need to stop adding my scar and it could be anyone. Cody: It's self insert! Just make it self insert! Rex: No one considers my feelings. Fox: About being shot through the air without a net? Rex: … I mean sometimes it feels like that.

Rex is mistaken for venting about Thrown From High Places and similar nonsense.

Rex is suffering. Just look at what his ARCs did yesterday.

Everyone else has black ops shock troopers for ARCs. Rex has these insane bastards.

Rex: You know how we pushed against the idea we should all be the same and individuality is bad? And how we carved out a place to be ourselves? Well I changed my mind. Cody: lol Wolffe: can't be that bad Rex: [sends a space gif that's mostly explosions] Wolffe: lol Fox: lol Monnk: lol Bly: lol Rex: you're the worst brothers ever

Rex is suffering of "I wish you to end up with vod'ike just like you"

Aayla: Wait he's into me? Kit: But acting on something told to me in confidence-- Aayla: Outta the way squid boy I'm getting us another boyfriend Wolffe: I'm so glad we're not connected to any of that in any way. Sinker: Isn't Ahsoka like General's niece? Comet: She literally comes over for tea all the ti-- Wolffe: Shhh

They're removed from the situation. At a distance. None of their connections are Romo.

Wolffe: Anyway Fox wishes he could say the same but the Chancellor has some Moments with Skywalker and he REALLY doesn't want to get into it. Fox: Let's laugh at Bly some more. Bly: Rex is the one that was pining! Cody: Doesn't sound like Rex. Rex complains about falling Bly: Yes. Falling in love he complains about falling in love!

Fox sees the weirdness with the Chancellor before he sees the Anidala and he asks the chat if Skywalker is fucking their commander in chief.

Fox: Do you think Skywalker is fucking a…. Well-known politician? Cody: yes Rex: yes Monnk: yes Wolffe: yes. Fox: … Huh. Okay then. Fox just sort of files that away and always thinks they're talking about Palpatine when they're talking about Amidala 😭😂 Rex: You should see the way he looks at them. I just can't compete. Fox: …

Other option is that he tries to console someone about an age diff relationship with "don't worry, Skywalker's fucking a guy three times his age, you're Gucci."

Trooper in their mind: General Kenobi doesn't seem that old but I don't know enough about Nat born ages to argue

Rex: … Cody: … Wolffe: … Bly: … Monnk: … Doom: which one is Skywalker again?

Gree: Even in clone years that doesn't work out. Wolffe: Fox is bad at math. Rex: I don't think that's what's happened here 😭

Fox sends a Disturbingly Suggestive Sneaky Photo he took as proof and everyone is suddenly much more concerned than confused about WHY Fox thinks this.

Fox: Why are you booing? I'm right. Rex: I need to make some comms. Cody: Ditto. Doom:Guys for real what the kark are we talking about? Bly: SHE SAID SHE'S INTO ME! … Guys I just caught up in the chat wtk? Wolffe: Jedi problems. Let's go back to fantasy speedball please?

Bly has news. The news is being sidelined by Rex texting Padme with the photo like "do I not know natborn norms or is that hand way too heavy on his waist and his face way too close to the General's?"

Cody: Wolffe, Bly, our Generals are too close to the situation and also not normal about each other, according to other people. Ask Koon and Secura? Cody: ACTUALLY @ bacara can you ask Mundi? He's pretty far from the situation and probably objective. Monnk: The guy our age is Skywalker, right? Is Fox saying that he's fucking the chancellor? Is that it? Wolffe: @ Cody do I have to Bacara: my general looks concerned. I asked if he knew the guy because I barely know who Skywalker is other than "Rex's general" and had to make sure we were talking about the same person Rex: Guys can we PLEASE not feed a rumor mill and spread gossip before we confirm anything Gree: too late I asked Luminara

Half the chat is unenviably aware of Anakin. The other half don't know anything beyond "Rex is being gay about him."

Cody: fuck now my general knows - Vos has entered the chat - Vos: hi guys I got some questions Fox: this is a secure line >< gtko Vos Luminara instantly told the two of them

Fox is just fully "aw fuck it's this guy again"

- Vos has been blocked - Doom: are you allowed to block a general from a secure line? Fox: I'm allowed to block this one.

Fox: He's not a general. That one's a shadow which means he's NOT in any chain of command.

Aayla has taken it upon herself to distract Anakin by drawing him into a three-hour conversation about his favorite soap opera.

Aayla: Hey Master, should we hold an intervention? Is this intervention territory? Quinlan: I mean, probably. You hated when I bothered you about Kit, but… Aayla: I mean, I feel like Anakin's probably not as aware of the danger of a power imbalance of this sort as I am. Quinlan: His first nine years were power imbalance. Aayla: You know damn well it's different. Quinlan: I do. That's why I'm in the Chancellor's coat closet.

(Aayla's age-diff relationship is much more negotiated and even and healthy than what everyone suddenly thinks Anakin's got going on.)

Aayla: ……. Why am I surprised? Quinlan: listen it was me or Obi-Wan doing something Aayla: and where's master Kenobi? Quinlan: locked him in the bathroom I think I have an hour I stole his lightsaber Cody: Is it wrong of me to try to get son points by being the good responsible one? Wolffe: yes but I get it

Someone probably told Yoda and Mace. I say Mundi.

Mace: alright well we should properly investigate this and- Depa: Vos is in the senator's closet as we speak Mace: ….. Yoda: one way to do it that is. Mace: … Well while that happens I'll set up an official investigation. Don't update me on the Vos thing unless absolutely nessisary. The less I know the better Vos: don't worry I'm hiding under some dark robes Quinlan: hey guys? Good news terrible news

Anakin has no idea that everyone's trying to figure out if he's been targeted by a sex predator since he was twelve. He's moved into explaining the latest season of The Real House Wives of Alderaa City to a fake-interested Echo and real-interested Fives.

Fox: so you might say I saved the Republic. Rex: :/ I don't think that's what happened.

Cody: I'm pretty sure you just assumed that the Chancellor was fucking a Jedi and never bothered to follow up with even a single clarifying question. Fox: I saved the republic. Bly: Because we called bullshit and you tried to Prove Things.

Fox: which led to the Republic being saved. Hero actions. Give me a medal.

Cody: How about severance pay.

Fox: oh I'm the bad guy for not disclosing a Jedi fucking someone? Really? Getting that from you guys? Bly: ….. It's different….. Wolffe: Fox is bad at adding things up. Just like I said. Fox: I'm not bad at math stop saying that!

Rex has spent SO much time going "I can't argue against Skywalker fucking the Chancellor by saying he's monogamous and fucking his wife. His own wife, not the Chancellor's. I don't think the Chancellor has a wife. Skywalker's with Amidala and I can't use that to argue against Fox's thing."

Fox a week later: wait! You all agreed with me at first! Gree: what? Fox: when I asked if Skywalker was fucking an important politician.

Rex: 🫢 Cody: Yeah he's fucking Amidala Rex: He Is Not Cody: Ignore him

Bly: omkf Fox Fox: what!? Am I the only one that didn't know??? Wolffe: yes Bly: yes! Doom: I don't even know who the force these people are and even I knew that. Rex: guys they're not! Cody: ignore him. Cody: btw I need backup. My quest for revenge has led me to the culprit and it's worse than I thought Bly: wait what are you taking about? Fox: the RCF someone has been writing about Cody and his general keep up Bly: you don't get to say that to me Fox! [real clone fiction]

Fox: Is this Rex being in denial because he wants to fuck his general? Cody: No, he's just not supposed to talk about them because Skywalker wants it to stay a secret because it's not really allowed Cody: And Rex tries to tell people it's not happening because he's loyal but it definitely is

Rex: unlike some people Cody: if I had let him out of the bathroom he would have thrown hands at a sith who was also the supreme Chancellor at the time. I'm very loyal. Now help me plot against Alpha 17 Rex: wait it's 17!? Cody: I can't tell if it was to cover that he was fucking the general or that he wanted the fanfiction about the two of them to stop but either way he must pay

Oh that is not just 'I want to fuck the General' that is 'I want to ruin my little brother's life and I am going to make it hell'

Fox: or he did it to fuck with both of you Cody: or that

Monnk: Anyway, I want to hear Bly's news Bly: … Bly: Tentacles Monnk: What Bly: My general's been fucking yours. So he's here too. They are both using tentacles on me.

- Monnk has left the chat - Fox: see this is what I mean how was I supposed to know it was inappropriate? Gree: hot Rex: congrats?

Half the chat is having fun. The other half is so tired.

Wolffe joins the alpha 17 hunt because at least he doesn't have to hear about Bly's Jedi's tentacles or Rex's Jedi's feelings Wolffe: if I die know that it's your fault because I can't take hearing about this anymore

Anakin's still busy talking about The Real Housewives when Obi-Wan finally catches up to him and starts Mother Henning

Anakin: why is your bathroom door broken. Obi-Wan: doesn't matter. Nothing matters. What about you how are you feeling? We haven't talked in some time-- Anakin: well Jotika Blinzz said the cattiest thing this week…. Padme: Anakin i was so-- oh! Obi-Wan hello. Obi-Wan: I know I know everything I got you a stunner for life day. I just want no more secrets and to see Anakin happy. Anakin: …… Wait you didn't want to talk about real space wives? [Padme and Obi-Wan get into an emotional heartfelt conversation] Anakin, has no context for any of this: wait what's going on here?

So much is happening and Anakin has just been talking about how one of the Chandrila housewives has been arrested for tax fraud for half an hour

Rex: … Why is everyone else's problem resolved? What about me? Cody: what about you? It's obvious your general has no awareness when it comes to seduction in any form. Be blunt.

…Quinlan is still in the chat

Doom (Vos): oh is that so? Doom: how interesting tell me more. Fox: …. Doom you don't care about this … FDI Doom has been blocked

Quinlan's gotta text Obi-Wan about the drama.

Fox: reminder to everyone about not writing down your passwords :/ - Doom has entered the chat - Doom: my speed ball team sucks this season. Wolffe: there he is! Obi-Wan who has reached a closeness and understanding with Padme (meant to be doing this with Anakin but well he's in the room too that must count for something) so tells her Padme: oh? Oh ♥️

Anakin: I don't get it Padme: We need to kiss Rex and tell him he's allowed to do sex things with us if he wants, and that we'd be happy to have him there Anakin: …sure okay, that sounds fun Padme: For longer. Not just one night. Anakin: ……………husband? Padme: Let's start with 'boyfriend' and see what happens

Anakin: … This sounds nice, Anakin: (feels very good and lucky this week has been going great. Everyone's gotten into real space wives and his wife also likes the guy he's had trouble not to develop feelings for. Everything's is coming up Skywalker)

Someone who isn't read in on the Many Situations Happening (Ahsoka) sends him a news link with a bunch of exclamation marks about the Chancellor getting arrested.

Obi-Wan: Okay listen. I can explain. Anakin: YOU WERE IN ON THIS? Obi-Wan: I THOUGHT YOU WERE BEING SEXUALLY ABUSED BY HIM. Anakin: HE WOULDN'T DO THAT. Padme: Actually, I also saw the photo, I understand where the assumption came from, it was a very concerning and suggestive image. Obi-Wan: NO, HE WAS JUST A SITH LORD.

Anakin: There must be a mistake! Obi-Wan: Well he gets a trial Anakin, but all of us are too close to the situation to take any part in this! Anakin: I'll be a character witness. Padme too. Right? Padme: …. There's evidence he was the one that set up the naboo crisis… So … Probably not. Anakin: He what!?

Obi-Wan: And if he was the Sith Lord, then he arranged for the assassination attempts on Padme. So… Anakin: [distressed noises that start to turn into accusations of collusion] Padme: [kisses him] Let's not talk about that until tomorrow. Anakin: But-- Padme: Let's go seduce Rex.

Padme: would that make you feel better? Anakin: … (Grumbles) … Yes Obi-Wan: Well … I probably need to be in a council meeting right now Quinlan: Or you can lie your head on my lap eating muja fruit and I can update you about all the clone gossip from their 'secure' chat. Obi-Wan: You shouldn't spy on them… But yes that please let's do that. Quinlan: Should I ask about the Alpha-17 fanfiction? Obi-Wan: It's a proportional revenge for making him the CCs trainer. I'm only keeping an eye on it as far as Cody keeps things low-key and doesn't actually attempt murder.

He's a bastard, that Obi-Wan.

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