pyromanicfeline - Tumblr blog

[pyromanicfeline]

[pyromanicfeline]

I've remarked in the past that one of the problems with Dungeons & Dragons under Hasbro is that they want to downplay a lot of the uncomfortably horny elements which have historically characterised the game's implicit milieu, but certain key parts of the game's brand identity are tied up with those horny bits, and they're not willing to give that brand identity up, so they end up doing daft shit like keeping dragon-blooded sorcerers as a core class while acting like "one of your parents fucked a dragon" is the least likely explanation for how you got to be that way, resulting in a text with a strangely coy tone.

The 2024 Player's Handbook carries this policy – and the resulting tonal incoherence – forward. This is how it describes draconic sorcery:

As we can see, it even walks back the 2014 Player's Handbook's oft-mocked discussion of "bargaining" with dragons for power, in favour of proposing scenarios involving accidental exposure to draconic magic – as though a draconic sorcerer is some sort of dragon-themed Spider-Man – while grudgingly acknowledging the possibility of actual dragon-fucking almost as an afterthought.

And then it uses this image to illustrate the Draconic Sorcery subclass:

"Might".

[pyromanicfeline]

[pyromanicfeline]

weed is a gateway drug next im doing videodrome

[pyromanicfeline]

Put me back in the water right now or ill die

[pyromanicfeline]

[pyromanicfeline]

at the shabbat dinner we had tonight an adult informed us how much honey a single bee makes in its lifetime and a six year old replied "if I was a bee I could make more." wishing that level of confidence on you. gut shabbes

[pyromanicfeline]

it is so funny though to ask the person who has trouble picking up on cues & overall often has not a damn clue what’s going on “do you have any idea what you’ve done?” like. Well now that you mention it, no. i don’t. can you tell me. LOL

[pyromanicfeline]

Knocking on your blog to see if you can come play

[pyromanicfeline]

falin again

[pyromanicfeline]

“oubliette” is such a fancy word for such an unbelievably simple thing. captain of the guard says “take their ass to the oubliette” and you think oh boy they must have some really high end perhaps grotesque punishment prepared for me and then they just throw you into a hole in the ground

[pyromanicfeline]

[pyromanicfeline]

one of the most annoying things people can do online is play Sigmund Freud about your fetishes and not even correctly guess your trauma

[pyromanicfeline]

Caught one of my favorite wet beasts. The long nose gar.

[pyromanicfeline]

do you wanna touch fangs with me be honest

[pyromanicfeline]

They don’t even know what zydrate comes in…..

[pyromanicfeline]

wait if a vampires fangs are their reproductive organs how are we gonna put chastity cages on them