q-iam

[q-iam]

This is just like M'aiq. Of course he steals your pie.

M'aiq the Liar stole my pie

[q-iam]

A while ago, m'aiq tõld this One that The best use of a nord is as an excellent Body Shield "when this One is trying to Dodge assasins and bounty Hunters". What do you think about this?

No person should ever be used as a body shield. M'aiq is a bad person whom you should not listen to. Perhaps if he did not try to hide behind Nords, lie to everyone, and smuggle skooma everywhere, he would not have to worry about bounty hunters and assassins.

[q-iam]

So aside from your archnemesis twin brother, what's your relationship like with the rest of your family?

This one has a very strained relationship with his sister, M'aiq the Lesbian. She is very anti-Imperial, which is a shame. She tends to take M'aiq the Liar's side on most things. Her son, M'aiq the Small, is much the same, though Q'iam tries to get along with him for the sake of the family.

Q'iam gets along fairly well with his mother, M'aiq the Wise. She is the most sensible person in this family. However, M'aiq the Elder, this one's father, is a drunken liar who is almost as bad as this one's twin.

So, basically, this one only gets along with his mother.

[q-iam]

Okay, but have you ever tried horse? Perhaps you and your brother could reconcile over a nice meal, yes?

Q'iam will never try horse. Ever.

[q-iam]

Did you and M'aiq ever get along?

When we were kittens, this one and M'aiq were nearly inseparable. We did everything together. Our favorite thing to do was race each other. We are both very fast.

But, while this one grew to adore animals with all their heart, M'aiq became obsessed with eating them. Particularly horses. He didn't care how common or uncommon an animal was. He didn't care if it had once been a beloved member of the family. All he cared about was satisfying his strange cravings.

Plus, he is a known liar and scoundrel. Q'iam the Honest cannot love a liar.

[q-iam]

You ought to be ashamed of yourselves. Sticking up for a liar and a horse-eater. Q'iam is hissing at you.

SAVE THE HORSES

M'aiq the Liar has been savagely killing and eating horses everywhere they can be found. He is driving horses to extinction! Help Q'iam exact justice by signing this petition to lock up M'aiq for being a horse-killer:

[q-iam]

Wait, what did chickens do to deserve being called evil? They're just dumb featherballs.

Have you seen them? Vicious little fuckers

[q-iam]

THIS ONE IS NOT AN EVIL DOPPELGANGER

Have you and Q'iam ever considered becoming friendly with each other again?

There is no being friendly with an evil doppelganger.

[q-iam]

So do you also travel around Tamriel like your brother whose name you spuriously slander?

Q'iam also travels across Tamriel, though he does not venture into the planes of Oblivion like his brother.

[q-iam]

So are you against meat-eating in general, or just horses and people?

This one hates meat-eating of all kinds. Except for chicken. Chickens are evil beasts that deserve only death.

[q-iam]

M'aiq is lying, of course. Have you all forgot that his title is "M'aiq the Liar?" He already eats horses, it is not far-fetched for him to have eaten someone's guar.

Q'iam is not "evil." He is misunderstood and hated for telling truth and being an advocate for horses.

I confronted Q’iam about eating my Guar, and he had the AUDACITY to blame you 🥲.

That is just like Q'iam. He thinks he can do nothing wrong, so when he does fuck up, he blames poor, innocent M'aiq. As this one has said, he is evil.

If he gives you any more trouble, let me know. Mephala owes this one a favor and could convince him to stop.

[q-iam]

This is almost worse

Wait, why did your parents literally just give you your twin's name but backwards?

Because this one's parents hate Q'iam. They wanted exactly two children and this one already had an older sister. That this one was born alongside M'aiq was what this one's parents call a "tragic accident." Thus, they decided that Q'iam must be an evil shadow version of M'aiq. This one thinks they spend too much time with daedra.

[q-iam]

Wait, why did your parents literally just give you your twin's name but backwards?

Because this one's parents hate Q'iam. They wanted exactly two children and this one already had an older sister. That this one was born alongside M'aiq was what this one's parents call a "tragic accident." Thus, they decided that Q'iam must be an evil shadow version of M'aiq. This one thinks they spend too much time with daedra.

[q-iam]

So has M'aiq gotten around to putting up those wanted posters of you yet?

Q'iam has found exactly one, and it was very poorly done. This one thinks M'aiq needs practice writing in the official Imperial script if he wants the wanted posters to appear legitimate.

[q-iam]

Look, What else are you supposed to do with the horse when it dies? Just let it rot? No, you cook the meat and you make leather from the skin. No waste, It doesn't taste half bad. And you can make a saddle for your next horse. That or i guess if you think (Evil)Necromancy is OK Then you can resurrect it and continue to ride until it erosiods into nothing but dust...

You give it a proper burial! You don't eat it! Do you also think that people should be eaten when they die?

[q-iam]

A diet exclusively consisting of cheese and chicken does not sound like a balanced diet. Have you tried some tasty and nutritious horse, perhaps?

Q'iam adores horses and would never eat them. You should rethink your life if you think eating horses is okay.

[q-iam]

Can't believe Maiq would slander your good name like this, Justice for Qiam!

Exactly, thank you!