qatarcookie

[qatarcookie]

3-Page Writing Critiques for Winston (pay what you can donation)

Hi folks! As I posted in my last video, my family’s rescue bulldog, Winston (2) was recently hospitalized and had to undergo emergency surgery. He’s back home now and in recovery, but since hospital/surgery costs were high, I want to do whatever I can to help contribute to the bill and his future care.

I’m offering 3-page in-line critiques (can be from a story, novel, or up to 3 poems, but no NSFW please!) for a pay-what-you-can donation (no minimum, it can literally be $1!). Payment will be accepted first through a PayPal.Me link that I will send you via email. I will send your critique ASAP (within ~1-7 business days) also through email.

WHAT YOU CAN GET:

Critique for up to 3 pages of your story/novel excerpt/poems. The critique will include line edits and/or in-line comments where necessary.

I really appreciate your help here - please boost this post to help spread the word.

HOW TO DONATE:

Email me at coffeeandcalligraphy@gmail.com for the PayPal link and attach what you’d like critiqued (Word docs preferred but I can also critique in Google Docs). Please use Times New Roman 12 pt. font double spaced. Once you’ve sent through your payment, I’ll get started on your critique.

If you can’t donate, please don’t worry - I truly don’t want to put anyone out especially after the holiday season! I really appreciate all of your help already!

If you’d like to support in other ways, perhaps consider sharing some of my YouTube videos (authortube content about my writing journey, craft videos, book design, etc) with your friends, or rewatching an upload you liked!

A little bit about me for those who don’t know: hello! I’m Rachel, a 20-year-old writer from Toronto. I run an authortube channel and am currently pursuing my BFA in creative writing from a Canadian university with concentrations in Fiction and Poetry.

Thank you and happy 2022!

—Rachel

[qatarcookie]

one thing I’ve noticed while running an online shop is that Americans never include their country when writing their address.

I don’t mean when filling in online forms, bc that’s obviously a required element. but when emailing me for address changes for orders, they never include a country in the updated address. but I always know the country is the United States of America because literally nobody else around the world would do that.

[qatarcookie]

All of the people from the USA arguing that it‘s a habit because they don‘t write their country when sending domestic mail. We also don‘t do that but when you order from an international store, you know you have to do it?? And we don‘t usually order from international stores, but send domestic mail?? What is this argument??

one thing I’ve noticed while running an online shop is that Americans never include their country when writing their address.

I don’t mean when filling in online forms, bc that’s obviously a required element. but when emailing me for address changes for orders, they never include a country in the updated address. but I always know the country is the United States of America because literally nobody else around the world would do that.

[qatarcookie]

Frantically checking your submittable every day because you can (i.e. send help)

[qatarcookie]

I’m just now finding out Anne Frank was bi??? OMG

[qatarcookie]

Almost forgot to announce this here!! My poems “The night my mother learns to use the bus” and “A burial” will be published in The Fiddlehead’s upcoming BIPOC solidarities issue! Legit screaming!!!

[qatarcookie]

Kill Sin | Short Story Update #30

Hello!

It’s been a while since I wrote a short story *checks watch* Okay so…it was February. But I’ve just finished up a first draft of a new story, and it also seemed time to do an update on my short story collection, Forgive Me, I’m On Fire as it’s been a while since I chatted about my collection or a new story.

Disclaimer: This is my original work, do not copy or repost it in any form.

[image description: a bird’s eye view of a river in winter, with snowy trees and a bank on either side. The text ‘Kill Sin’ is written in the middle of the river. end id]

What’s it about?: A midwife is accused of witchraft in a puritan village, and has to choose between saving herself or keeping her final promise to the one she’s lost. Literal logline: I don’t think we can witchboss our way out of this one gal pals  Setting: A puritan village in the late 1600s.  Word Count: 5890 POV: 2nd person present tense Inspiration: This story wasn’t inspired by anything I’ve read/watched recently, I just think witches are cool

Characters

Mercy

our extremely cool protagonist

sees you trying to gaslight her and gaslights you back

non-binary icon doing genderqueer shit in puritan times

very strategic. would probably win Survivor

pretty mad that people want to execute her for the stuff she didn’t do (being a witch) and not all the cool shit she actually did do but was smart enough to hide (having a secret gay affair)

Christabel

Mercy’s husband’s brother’s wife (does that make them sisters in law?? idk how that works), who she’d had a secret romance with a year before the story

she’s beauty she’s grace

she is sadly also dead :(

Temperance

Christabel’s younger sister, who Mercy has taken on as her midwifery apprentice since she has no other family

dumb girl rights!!

naive soft baby too good for this earth

Samuel

idk he’s Mercy’s husband and that is all I know about him!!

Thomas

Christabel’s husband and also only mildly important, I also barely developed him

The Writing

The idea for this piece came a bit out of nowhere, I think it was just the general witchy vibes of October. This was my first time ever writing something historical (technically I’ve written a novel set in the 1950s, but because the story didn’t really intersect with any historical events it didn’t feel too historical to write), and at first I was nervous to take on a story that would require research on a topic I know nothing about–17th century puritan witch trials. 

I started by doing a couple hours of research to acquaint myself with the basics, and that night started the first draft. On the first day of writing, I was shocked at how easily the voice came to me and how authentic it felt. I want this piece to fit into my collection, while also having a voice that does a lot of worldbuilding because I don’t have much time for worldbuilding in other ways in such a short piece, and I was really pleased with the balance between puritan-y sounding voice and my natural style. Writing in my regular style felt too modern and jarring in such a historical piece, but I was really excited about the voice as it was emerging.

The first half of this story was so fun to write. The dialogue was historical and spicy. There were witch trials happening! The backstory was extremely gay! I was living. Then this story did what my short stories tend to do which was :) get very hard to write at the halfway mark :)

Part of the struggle with this piece is that I didn’t go into it with a clear vision for the plot arc, just for the character and background relationships. The most vivid relationship on the page, to me, is between Mercy and Christabel, who  had a secret romance before the start of the story, but Christabel was executed for practicing witchcraft a year prior. With that relationship not existing in the fictive present, it was hard to find momentum in the story when I didn’t actually have a clear plan for how things would unfold. I knew what I wanted to happen but no idea how to make it happen, since I didn’t have much experience studying this aspect of history.

I took a pause to read two books on the subject of witch trials to get more of a sense on how this might realistically unfold. The Manningtree Witches by A.K. Blakemore (which I adored, highly recommend) and Everyone Knows Your Mother is a Witch by Rivka Galchen (which I found pretty underwhelming). These were helpful, but with my momentum for the story completely stalled, it was hard to get back into the draft.

I picked it up again at the start of the month, with this draft being the first victim of my Chaotic 2021 NaNoWriMo, in which I have no actual project and just try to write every day, and actually finished it on the first day of NaNo despite having been unable to finish it four times prior. NaNo magic.

I have very mixed feelings on this draft. There are aspects of it I love, and others I think need a lot of work. I love the protagonist, Mercy. She fascinates me, she’s a great compliment to the other protagonists in my collection, and I had a lot of fun writing her. This was also the first time I’d written a story with a protagonist I was intentionally writing as non-binary, and I love that for me, though I’m not sure all readers will pick up on it because the context of the story doesn’t really allow Mercy to label her gender any specific way (personally tho I think the genderqueer energy is undeniable). I’m also pretty enamoured with how the voice turned out, and was very pleased with the dialogue considering dialogue is usually my weak point. However, the second half of the story feels rushed, some side characters feel very underdeveloped, and I’m wondering if there’s a more efficient, concise way to tell this story, rather than needing to have it elapse over 6000 words. 

The title of the story is a name I found on a list of puritan names (apparently puritans really had some wild names) and thought it would make a perfect title for the piece!

Playlist

My playlist for this piece is a puritan bop. I mostly listened to Agnes Obel with some Marika Hackman thrown in there because Marika Hackman basically writes all my short stories for me. Some highlights:

Riverside by Agnes Obel

Familiar by Agnes Obel

Myopia by Agnes Obel

Fuel to Fire by Agnes Obel

Aventine by Agnes Obel

Run Cried the Crawling by Agnes Obel

Tokka by Agnes Obel

The Curse by Agnes Obel

Pass Them By by Agnes Obel

Fivefold by Agnes Obel

Smoke & Mirrors by Agnes Obel

Bedtime by Annie Eve

Ophelia by Marika Hackman

Let Me In by Marika Hackman

Skin by Marika Hackman

Undone, Undress by Marika Hackman

General collection update

At the moment, my collection, Forgive Me, I’m On Fire, looks like this:

[image description: a screenshot of a chart listing the short stories in a collection, the word counts, and their publication status. / end id]

This puts me at a total word count of just under 40k words, but I’m aiming for a slightly longer manuscript, probably more around 60-65k words. Even though there are 10 pieces here, I anticipate a higher number of stories than the classic 9-12, since I have some shorter pieces, and my average story is much shorter than in Pareidolia. Knowing how hard collections are to publish, I might as well fit as many stories into each one as I can lol, and I just don’t feel done with this one even though it’s almost at an acceptable word count. 

I don’t know if this is the order the collection will eventually be in, but I thought I’d do a quick check in on each piece and it’s current status. The main theme that I’ve noticed in this collection is characters reckoning with their own power, though some pieces deal with this very subtly and others much more overtly.

I Am a Wolf in Wolf’s Clothing - This piece fits the themes of my collection *perfectly* though I think it will be a hard one to place in a magazine, but I am currently submitting it. The title alone could be the title of the entire collection, it’s such a perfect thematic fit, which is why Im thinking of putting it first.

How to Slaughter - I’ve done several rounds of a revise and resubmit for a magazine which is why this story has gotten so long (it hasn’t been officially accepted yet). Though I think it’s a really nice contribution to the themes of the collection, I don’t know how I feel about having a 9k story in my collection because that seems like a poor use of space, so if it gets published, I may include a condensed version in my collection.

After Hours - This is a flash piece, but I love how its cyberpunk aesthetic contributes to the world of my collection. I’d like to have several flash pieces in this collection to give glimpses into different characters and worlds and flesh out the themes from new angles without really raising the word count too much. I don’t think I will include this if I ends up being the only flash piece I have, though, because that seems a bit unbalanced.

Kill Sin - The main character is such a perfect compliment to the other protagonists in the collection. I also like the idea of the collection reaching into both the past and future, so I love how this one rounds out the world(s) of the collection.

A Word that Rhymes with Fish Hook - This is the oldest piece in the book, but I’m not submitting it and I think it’s probably the weakest story in the book. It’s a nice addition to the themes and I like the speculative aspect it brings, but I’d have to polish it more to feel confident dedicating space to it if I end up writing stronger pieces down the line.

Tabula Rasa - This is one of my favourite stories I’ve ever written and one of the most grounded in the collection, but that’s part of why I like having it here, it’s so realistic in contrast to some of the weirder or more speculative pieces. I’m just finishing up revisions on this one and will probably start submitting it this week.

Zugzwang - This story is my baby! It was one of the first pieces to really shape the direction of this book. It’s published online in Plenitude if you’d like to read it.

How You’ll Feel After the War - This is one of the softest pieces in the collection and I love that angle it gives to the collection’s themes, and it’s also one of the most speculative pieces. It’s published in the latest issue of PRISM international. 

Elise Holding a Deer Mouse, 1829 - This piece is probably the greatest departure from the themes, but I think it still fits nicely into the book in a very quiet manner. It’s also published online CAROUSEL.

We The Girls - I have very complicated feelings about this piece. On one hand, it was one of the original stories that went into this book and shaped my vision for the book, but I have mixed feelings about it. I don’t feel capable of revising it because of the voice it’s written in, so for now I’ve decided not to submit it, but I think it’ll be either a good opening or closing piece to this collection.

This collection has become my baby and I’m thrilled with how it’s shaping up. I anticipate around four-ish more stories in the 3-5k range to finish it, plus maybe a couple flash fictions. I haven’t been writing as much short fiction lately, which is honestly a relief because if I write too many stories too quickly I run out of space for them and I’d rather take my time putting this collection together very intentionally. I feel like the pieces work together very nicely, likely because they’re all reflective of the stage of life I’m in as a writer, and it would be nice to carry this collection through until I feel a distinct change in my writing that could mark the start of collection #3 (which is wild to say). When I finished Pareidolia, I was worried about my ability to start a second collection that felt as important to me, but I feel like this one feels even more cohesive (whereas Pareidolia is more of a patchwork of aesthetics and themes) with a very distinct *vibe* to it. 

That’s all for now, folks!

–Shaelin

Taglist (I have one for all projects - ask to be added or removed)

@coffeeandcalligraphy @dallonm @jennawritesstories @alicewestwater @laughtracksonata @cherylinanika @qatarcookie @if-one-of-us-falls @keira-is-writing @august-iswriting @nsanelyawkward @ghostwrit3r @feathered-inkling @shylawrites @theoldcity @berinswriting @credoallestelle @revtrelos @bookpacking @carlyiswriting @ev–writes @souliloquyyy @sunwatersun @jaydewritesfiction @froggywriter @catgirlnya @avakrahn @finch-goes-tweet @familiarvillain​ @isabelleespart @annlillyjose​ @sunstone-iolite​ @whymanwrites​ @musingsbycaitlin​ @charseawrites​ @karamel-pop​

[qatarcookie]

i know ppls opinions on reclaiming "queer" vary a lot (and thats fine--personally i dont really have a problem w people reclaiming but only as long as they respect a lotta people dont wanna be called that) but i really think its gross as fuck when big companies and corporations try to use that word for like. marketing and merchandising shit. like uh hey fuck you brand who said u could do that. gettin a bit too buddy-buddy with the rainbow capitalism there

[qatarcookie]

I am so so excited to be sharing my short story “Zugzwang,” published in Plenitude! This funky story is one of my favourite pieces I’ve ever written, so if you want to give it a read, it’s available online for free! 

(tw: drug use / suicide)

[qatarcookie]

🌹❤️☂️ for the WIP excerpts, please! 🥺

🌹 Share your most poetic line.

This whole chapter of Feeding Habits (10!) is a whole poem oops:

Water supports limbs in the tide, admonishes sin, baptizes a believer, resurrects a failing man. What’s the difference between water and blood when both carry life?

❤️ Share one of your favorite lines.

Also from this chapter!

Being bodiless is like being faithful.

☂️ Share your favorite description of an object.

This is technically a room (Reeve's house in Seventh Virtue) but there are many objects!

Crystal streamers dangle from doorways, the wall paint shimmering an iridescent navy. A dozen clocks line the perimeter of her living room, all set to different times, some brushed brass, some solid oak. A pool table stands where Harrison would assume a couch would be—right in front of the television, a solid crystal ball wobbling along the perimeter.

[qatarcookie]

Normalize disliking people and avoiding them without starting a conflict and insisting that they're bad people. You don't actually need to be able to call someone toxic and abusive in order to justify that you're not vibing with them.

[qatarcookie]

only on tumblr could you make a post about how love is beautiful and get replies about ace discourse

[qatarcookie]

If you are going to have literally no criteria for being queer, then how can you say that anyone isn't? How can you refer to any person in any context as cis/straight?

If someone tells me they’re queer I believe them. If someone tells me they’re straight I believe them. This isn’t that hard

[qatarcookie]

every time I go to a thrift store I think "would damiano david look sexy in this?" and if the answer is yes, it goes in the basket

[qatarcookie]

No stop

Okay. 🤝

[qatarcookie]

Really fucking weird how the internet has made it a thing to make others feel bad for having a good relationship with their parents. Y’all need therapy and I mean that genuinely

[qatarcookie]

Hey, remember late last year when everyone (in Australia) lost their shit over a Sydney production not casting a nb/trans person in the role of Hedwig and harassed the ousted lead actor online so badly he had to put himself under suicide watch? Well, as it turns out they did cast a nb actor - that same actor who put themselves on suicide watch after being bullied online - they just were not ready to be out yet.

So not to be a fandom old about it, but you know how there’s that big debate over whether or not LGBT roles have to be played by LGBT actors? Many more of them are played by LGBT actors who for whatever reason are not ready to be out yet (or ever.) And it’s truly none of your business.