qtpeeps

[qtpeeps]

I need dick on a new level never before seen

[qtpeeps]

good meowning everykitty!! dogs.. go eat dirt or something

[qtpeeps]

Once the friend of a friend of my mom's was visiting Rio and she saw Sugarloaf Mountain and she wanted to impress her taxi driver with her knowledge of Portuguese, so she said in Portuguese "Look, Sugarloaf [Mountain]! It's very big!".

Unfortunately, English native speakers have a hard time making the "ão" sound correctly since the sound doesn't exist in English, so instead of saying "pão de açúcar" (literally, bread of sugar), she said "pau de açúcar." Now, "pau" technically just means "wood," but it's also, unfortunately for her, slang for "penis."

So to the driver what he heard was "Look at the sugar dick! it's so big!" and he almost crashed the car from laughing so hard.

[qtpeeps]

they should invent a bus that never gets stuck in traffic because it's on its own path separated from the roads. and then chain multiple of them together and put it on rails. has anyone had this idea before.

[qtpeeps]

gently caressing my CNC-machined part today I felt something. far less than the touch of a human, but more than the touch of cold, dead aluminum. I breathed a small spark of life into this part. and I want to have sex with it

[qtpeeps]

bird names on people are so awesome. its the best genre of name in my opinion (although i might be biased.) if you are deciding on a new name for yourself i cant reccomend enough naming yourself after a bird or bird species. itll make you so much cooler and hotter than you could ever have imagined ^v^

[qtpeeps]

give a boy a flower and he says awww and smells it and does a cute little twirl. give a girl a flower and she says thankslol and eats it

[qtpeeps]

being a self indulgent faggot and using greek statues as pose refs for self portraits (◡ ‿ ◡ ✿)

[qtpeeps]

WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAVE A FUCKING AI OVERVIEW IT WORKED FUCKING FINE BEFORE STOP FUCKING USING THAT BULLSHIT TO SUMMARIZE IT GRRRRRRRR KILLING YOU FUCKING KILLING YOU EXECS IM COMING FOR YOU YOU STUPID FUCKS

[qtpeeps]

fog of war in the grocery store

[qtpeeps]

Me: yeah it’s so fucked up people see their gay best friends as just accessories or personal stylists… gay people are human and if you were really friends youd treat them like people

My twink Who lives inside my oversized Y2k purse: Stilettos with jeans are the item of the season. Werk !

[qtpeeps]

Just found a Youtube Channel

[qtpeeps]

?????? rich people are losing it

[qtpeeps]

Hi! I'm Molly Percocet!

[qtpeeps]

sometimes i struggle to use the word ‘bootlicker’ in a negative sense because of sexual desires i will not disclose here

[qtpeeps]

when i was at walgreens (at 3 in the morning which explains all of this) the cashier was talking to her coworker about how shed rather be a werewolf than a vampire because vampires are condemned to hell but werewolves arent and then she asked me what i thought and i said vampire because im already condemned to hell and she said in the nicest tone of voice “i dont think anybody is condemned to hell….” paused, stared at me for a few moments, and added on “…not even gay people” 

[qtpeeps]

i'm making ants drink whiskey