qualitychaoslover

[qualitychaoslover]

Shirt that says ‘BITE ME’ on the front and ‘please I need it desperately, I haven’t felt the warmth of a human mouth in months, I’ll lie so still and react so amicably, or I’ll writhe and fight if you’d prefer’ on the back

[qualitychaoslover]

I feel like I’ve posted this before but maybe not: I have a headcanon about Bruce being THE ultimate spotter in training and on patrol.

If he thinks you aren’t going to land that flip he just yanks you out of it midair. By the collar, by the sleeve (one time by the ankle) because getting whiplash is still miles better than landing on your head or neck.

Bruce raised both 1) Robins who can land that flip and 2) Robins who will try to land that flip for the very first time on patrol when he’s not looking.

Robins will get antsy and try to jump off a rooftop on their grapple before Batman. Jim Gordon gets to watch from the GCPD rooftop every time as the newest iteration learns exactly how sharp Bruce’s reflexes are.

[qualitychaoslover]

You don’t have to soak your beans if you just cook them longer.

Unlike rice though you probably should rinse and inspect your dried beans. There’s dirt and gross shriveled beans in there.

[qualitychaoslover]

WHICH one of you fuckers went & found my sprite just so u could erase the damn WORM

[qualitychaoslover]

fuck i’m trying to catch all these flies but they think my vinegar is stupid. i have honey also but that’s for me i can’t give them any of that

[qualitychaoslover]

bad news about the new mineshaft in the third depths folks. shit is just chock full of goblins.

[qualitychaoslover]

im actively in bed rn but listen i need all of you to go to wplace.live right now and add more papyrus sprites to it immediately. bc i spent several hours hyperfocused on recreating a papyrus sprite and then promptly realized i can’t even share it bc it’s literally the only one and it would fucking doxx me

[qualitychaoslover]

One of the few benefits to having adhd + autism is i have an amazing poker face because it's impossible to read someone's face who has no idea what's going on because I'm busy thinking about how the cards are shuffled in a way they never have been before and comparing that to the stars in the known universe or grains of sand on earth

Either that or about how penguins are assholes

[qualitychaoslover]

Vampires sipping out of different peoples diva cups like its a wine tasting

[qualitychaoslover]

Don’t worry, white male low info voter from Illinois, you will not be dying in WW3. You’ll actually be dying right now when i shoot you execution style for making violence in the middle east about yourself.

[qualitychaoslover]

[qualitychaoslover]

not a snack household, not an ingredients household, but a secret third thing (the main grocery shopper of the house can't taste much and just buys a random assortment of bullshit)

[qualitychaoslover]

Human ingenuity comes in three varieties.

New digital device - "Can you play Doom on it?"

New mechanical device - "Can you add a bottle opener to it?"

The third kind is about sex.

[qualitychaoslover]

The other night husband and I were watching a documentary about the yeti where they were doing DNA analysis of samples of supposed yeti fur, and every one of them came back as bears.

Anyway, the next night we watched a thing about some pig man who is supposed to live in Vermont. People said it had claws and a pig nose but walked upright like a man. Now, I happen to know that sideshows used to shave bears and present them as pig men. So every piece of evidence they gave of this monster sounds to me like a bear with mange.

So now the running joke in our house is that everything is bears. Aliens? Bears. Loch Ness monster? Bear. Every cryptozoological mystery is just a very crafty bear.

Bears. They’re everywhere. Be wary. Anyone or anything could be a bear.

[qualitychaoslover]

This op also had reblogs on I just thought it’d be funny

[qualitychaoslover]

This is what Trump was saying in 2013 about war in Iran. Now, he just launched a war with Iran.

[qualitychaoslover]

glad the sharpest bulbs the u.s has to offer are on the case